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Thread: Which intertype relation is this?

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    Reyne's Avatar
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    Default Which intertype relation is this?

    One of my colleagues is a very impulsive and sociable person. I often have to give him advice. For example:

    1) When he perceives an injustice he immediately gets mad, loses control and wants to go talking to the (for example) boss with an accusatory tone. I explain to him what will happen if he does that by asking him questions. "Wait a minute. What will happen if you go talking to him NOW? Right. And how will that influence your career? Yes. So wait until your mind is more clear. I'm not saying you don't have to talk to that person, but now it's not the right moment and it's clear. You need a plan".

    2) He's always in a hurry and has to share his worry about tasks to other people. Even when we're not at work he always shares his worry with me. I explain him there's no need to hurry, and that it's impossible to be 100% prepared. If something goes wrong it's not the end of life, and often you perform better when you improvise. In fact I prefer spontaneity and relaxation on normal occasions, accepting the problems of future with less judgement but I focus the importance of structure on difficult occasions, while he always tries to do everything in a perfect way, but acts in an unstructured way when the situation escalates.

    The other day he even pretty much stated "I needed your calmness" "You had to be there" and kept repeating it in a room full of other colleagues. He just came back from another room where a lot of difficult stuff happened. I reassured him, explaining him he had no responsability (a person wanted to report the entire office and he worried while the only person who needed to worry was the boss, lol). After my reassurance he started stating those sentences.

    While I consider him to be a good friend and a funny person, I'm quite certain the intertype relation is more beneficial for him than for me. Reasons:

    1) I consider him to be stressful when he starts worrying about every minor issue. I'm an anxious person, but when I'm relaxed (and it's most of the time probably) I hate to perceive anxiety in others

    2) He's too pushy. I prefer to observe a lot before acting. He probably thinks I need to be pushed and doesn't understand that my approach is just different, despite me explaining it various times. In some rare occasions I may appreciate the push, but in most of the times it makes me want to beat the hell out of him.

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    come on peeps join ma partee

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    From your description it definitely looks very much one-sided. Do you gain anything at all from him in return?
    Most likely the most negative alpha you have met
    My life experiences may be tainted by living with an LII and an ILI I lovingly call Satan.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Maybe ESE ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carnaedy View Post
    From your description it definitely looks very much one-sided. Do you gain anything at all from him in return?
    It may sound pathetic, but my offbeat humor is fed by his laughter (despite having 1000 friends he probably considers me one of the funniest friends, if not the funniest one). So in fact he feeds my ego.
    Plus, we're both a loth in geopolitical talk, have similar plans for the future and enjoy talking about them, and we made similar mistakes in the past. We could talk about a grain of salt for 24 hours, inventing funny stories and weird stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    Maybe ESE ?
    Yeah, it's one of the options I had in mind. And what about the intertype relationship?

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    Supervision maybe, but he personally likes you enough where he actually enjoys your advice and supervising him. It happens sometimes, supervision isn't always horribly grimdarkishly painful for the supervisee. There are LIEs I like enough to listen to them as sort of a mentor I guess idk. If the supervisor has a lot of empathy naturally, the supervisee will want to learn from them though the supervisor kinda has to work on being extra nice so the polr isn't hit too badly.

    Type aside, he sounds very neurotic and insecure. It's a sign of very low self confidence, like the lowest possibly u could have, way more than simply being very shy or naturally insecure- to start crying to bosses/authority figures about every petty little thing. Sadly it happens a lot in the work place tho. It's unfair probably to say that every complaint HR gets is just whiny crybabies but A LOT of it is, just people being overly sensitive babies trying to ruin somebody else's life cuz their unhappy with their own shitty bleak middle clath existance.

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    This sounds like how an LII would describe me even though we aren't friends. Usually, if there's more Fe users at hand and we are all stressed, we form a circle and do quick exchanges of information based on Fe to "know how to feel about something" and "achieve some sort of common harmony-related goal" I guess. Its weird describing it, but LSI and LII always seem to be above it.

    So maybe some sort of Fe type, 6 core, probably sp-blind lol

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    Didn't state an intertype relation uhhhhh I think this person is a 6 though. This type of interaction is counterphobic 6 culture

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