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Thread: LIE and courtesy

  1. #1
    fka lungs ashlesha's Avatar
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    Default LIE and courtesy

    I'm sure this isn't the case based on my experience with LIEs just online, but I'm making a thread cuz I have a lot of time on my hands.

    I know one irl LIE now pretty well, cuz i live in his house, and the one thing that stands out to me about him as a person is the freakish amount of courtesy he possesses. He had surgery the other day and I asked him how he was feeling and he said with a pity-filled voice, "I didn't go through 1% of what you did," even though he just had surgery..Si polr, I guess, but he's fucking entitled to bitch. He asked if it was rude to text at the table while I ate lunch even though I never make conversation lol. Every night he's watching tv in the room next to my bedroom and when I go to sleep he asks if he should mute it for me every damn time I go to bed even though I always say no. He's way more polite than the LSE I know so it couldn't just be Fe role. I'm sure it's just him as a person idiosyncratically but since I know a so- called dual now and this is what stands out I figured I'd ask. Maybe its cuz he has an ESI wife who was a grade school teacher and prompted him like he's a 2nd grader, idk.

    What's your experience?

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Nah, he's a wimp. LIE's are incredibly rude assholes.

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    Alonzo's Avatar
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    Generally speaking, the role function is the "break glass in case of emergencies" function that is inherently deprioritized and devalued in favor of the base function; because it's 2D, it's only passively "fed" by norms + experiences. It stands to reason that a LIE socialized within a Gamma (or even Delta) home/greater socio-cultural environment, for example, may receive less "feed back" on their Super Ego (Fe+Si) functions and therefore be disinclined to flex their role function much, if at all, and certainly not with any nuance and sophistication.

    But for a LIE socialized within an Alpha socio-cultural context (like I was), and especially within the confines of opposing, somewhat antagonistic Quadra values, there may be a greater inclination to step on the role function, and neurotically so. Personally speaking, I'm almost hyper vigilant about being discernibly polite and gracious to wait staff and folks providing a service. The caveat is I'm only capable of tapping into my meager role Fe reserve in such a way if I'm relatively healthy, in good spirits and possess lots of energy, otherwise the dry, monotone, snippy, authoritarian standard fare predominates.

    Just remembered that I've touched on this before >

    Moreover, I see the "super ego" block as one's social mask, in my case, ESE (Fe+Si), and for so many early years of my life, Swedish culture pressured me into working that block like a penny whore in Tijuana, all the while feeling (unbeknownst to me until much later) like a complete fraud; traveling the world and living in other countries (especially the LIE friendly NYC) was one of the most liberating and freeing things for my psyche--it allowed me to fully sit in my truth and shed the "neuroses" attached to the Super Ego functions that had become paranoid and unstable af. On the bright side, I probably have a better handle on Fe and Si than most LIEs, but, conversely, that shit did a lot of damage to my self image early on, in that it made me feel defective, which I'd usually react to by literally or figuratively kicking a MFer in the esophagus. Not ideal. Not ideal.

    ...

    Theoretically, the superego block is ill equipped to defend itself, because it's only suited to passively absorb all outside information/feedback/evaluations from society but without the ability to properly distinguish one set of useful data from another, applied contextually (e.g., at times, especially when receiving some sort of "customer service," I neurotically "thank," "excuse" myself, say "please" even when uncalled for, probably because I don't want to look like an uncivilized, ungrateful tool and can't fully hold onto/remember/retain when it's appropriate or not for certain Fe "niceties"); therefore, you're bound to stumble upon a situation where you do something "socially inept" and look like a fucking tool; what's worse is that we are conscious of our shortcomings on this block and know that we must react to save face/be accepted/look socially competent, but the reaction mobilizes the ego block and, as we've already covered, the responses from the ego block are not always acceptable (by society's standards) for the situation at hand, which then prompts further usage of the superego, furthering a cycle of frustration and fumbling inadequacy that most certainly GRATES, over time.

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    mfckrz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    socio-cultural
    First person besides me I've seen use this word.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    What's your experience?
    I'm overly polite/courteous with people I've just met or don't know well. As familiarity rises I drop the cordialities, which is my way of implying "we are cool, I am comfortable with you."

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    Maybe its cuz he has an ESI wife who was a grade school teacher and prompted him like he's a 2nd grader, idk.
    That's probably it
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    good thread, it's the same with LSEs tbh, this forum and some sick members create the false stereotype that Te doms are plain rude assholes who don't give a damn about other's feelings because "hey I'm T dom aha you idiot" =bullshit. In the long or even short run they can show some uneasiness in understanding people and their emotional needs, but that's because of a real lack of understanding of the intricate human dynamics, not because of their willingness to put people down with their shit. so on the surface Te doms are among the most charming and polite (Fe role), but if you dig, you might discover it's hard to go beyond that shallow level of niceness

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    Quote Originally Posted by mfckrz View Post
    First person besides me I've seen use this word.

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mfckrz View Post
    First person besides me I've seen use this word.
    Shirley you jest.
    LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”

    Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”

    LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”

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    عالم نفسي thehotelambush's Avatar
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    The suggestive function can vary a lot. The behavior @Adam Strange mentions is probably more typical but I have met Te leads who are like you said too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    The suggestive function can vary a lot. The behavior @Adam Strange mentions is probably more typical but I have met Te leads who are like you said too.
    I was being sarcastic.

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    mfckrz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I was being sarcastic.
    Liar

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