Last edited by Delilah; 01-01-2020 at 04:53 AM.
what do you mean by
"have a need to control/manipulate the space around them (and around me!) in ways that I find excessive and wish to halt. "
What exactly have you told them? They need to understand the source of your discomfort and you need to give them alternatives to how they can behave around you without causing you stress. Usually they'll do what they can but only if it's reasonable. So make it reasonable.
edit: "reasonable" in the sense of explaining your position with Ti. It's not an implication of you being stupid
Last edited by Bento; 06-13-2019 at 11:29 AM.
any S tends to control S region as space
if you have S too (seems such as SEI) then you compete
also if that "ESE" is Se alike SEE - then you being SEI have higher irritation by the way they contol space
also any human who you do not like much by IR or other reasons may annoy you higher by anything, including space control
@Bento: I've seen/noticed physical space interference with several ESE i know, like they will interfere in your personal space. Most recently this happens with my landlady, who keeps showing up at my door at random times even tho legally she needs to notify me and can't just expect to be let in simply because i'm being polite. I told her she needs to let me know in advance and not just crowd my space at random, this seemed to go over her head. That's one simple example, hope it makes sense, and i'm sure i'm being reasonable about it.
Holding your ground and not letting her in unless she "plays by the rules" is the only way I can think of. But that's easier said than done because I'm not in your position.
Imo Alpha's can be a bit sneaky it the sense that they bend the rules. ESEs can do that, too. I don't know whether they are not aware of this or just selfish. I'm completely powerless against that.
What would happen if you insist on being notified before you let her in? Is she someone who would kick you out?
I had two classmates of those types who got along very well together - but EII could often get tired of the influctions of the ESE, who seemed to lack the control of the procedural situations and really was more in line with how people ''felt''. So a mirage relation. EII clearly noticed the lack of T more in ESE than the other way around, at least from an external POV.
ESEs are usually quite attuned to other people's needs; although they're often tenacious and do like to control the day-to-day agenda, they're normally quick at recognizing boundaries. Most ESEs will tell you quite clearly from where they're coming and to where they're going while EIIs have a tendency to expect that others will divine everything out of the ether (those imperceptible EII hints). EIIs usually are the directors of these relationships while ESEs the workhorses, but EIIs need to state their requirements in very concrete terms and avoid preaching or giving ultimatums out of the blue, which can be challenges for them. These relationships have good potential but the difficulty is usually one-way communication.....
what this relationship is like, with her being ESE and him being EII
Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions: