Originally Posted by
Shytan
From my observations and personal experiences of the Sexual 4:
The Achilles heel of the sexual 4 is having to walk around with a "hole" in their heart, or a dark cloud over their head, a painful sense of lack and loss. They often try to 'distract' themselves from this hole by indulging in their fantasies, dreaming about the perfect partner and the perfect experience or playing back past emotions and past experiences while romanticising their former partners' flaws and mistakes. They also tend to push away potential partners who are interested in them by compulsively comparing them to their ideals, where they obviously fall short. Once these partners turn back and resent them or move on, the 4 starts idealising them, covering up their flaws, and romanticising their experiences, in however short time they had. They disintegrate into 2, desperately trying to get their partner to take them back, to love them again, convinced that this is the love they want and need. If the partners reject them, the Sexual 4 may detest them or try and compete with them, in order to hurt them for putting them through such pain. If the partner takes them back and opens up to the 4, this leads to a repeat of the same cycle. The 4 starts to notice their flaws and want better, feel that they are not ideal for them, and push them away. The reason that these 4s push their partners away is because they often feel like they are not deserving of love, that they are in every sense, worthless, and hence feel that these partners may be faking their love, their overdemanding, dramatic or standoffish actions are a form of testing them to prove themselves. However, they take it too far and end up pushing their partners away. Another reason they push these partners away is because they are very idealistic in nature, having a perfect fantasy where their partner has certain qualities and almost no flaws, and where they live happily ever after. They forget that their partners are human and just like them, are imperfect and have flaws. They feel that their partner falls short of their ideals in some way, and hence rejects them.
This 4 is shameless and rebellious, especially with sp-secondary, as they go after what they want without putting much thought to the social repercussions. They are sadistic and have a masochistic streak mixing pain and pleasure to indulge and lose themselves in their emotions. They're like a kind of vampires I was told about, where humans would exchange their blood for the vampire venom, but neither party would be certain of the vampire draining them completely of their blood. Sexual 4s prey on drama and partners who seem hard to conquer, putting all their time and thoughts into winning them over, they can't seem to think of anything else when under this spell. They make themselves look and seem extraordinary, dressing up specifically for their prospective partner or a partner they would like to get back, doing things to get their attention and make them seem attractive, successful and embody whatever quality they want to put across.
Sexual 4s cannot handle solitude for long periods of time, and need at least one other person, a partner they connect intensely with, to spend time with. When they experience long periods of solitude and/or lack of sexual stimulation, they tend to get depressed and conscious of the dark hole in their hearts, the sense of lack that they try to distract themselves from by throwing themselves into experiences and people. The 4 can feel like they don't really have anyone and that life is meaningless, and feel like they don't want to live in this world anymore.
The sexual 4 has a strong aesthetic taste, in their dressing, their living spaces, the way they act and the objects/hobbies of their liking. They strive to be extraordinary and stand out in this way, and may seem arrogant and boujie.
They are intense beings who may get depressed when they get bored or have no source of stimulation. Reality often seeps through the sheets of their idealism, wetting their bed and causing extreme sadness for they intensely see their purpose in the world.
They tend to react dramatically when their fear of abandonment and rejection is triggered by a partner, acting desperately and out of character. Again, disintegration to 2. They may beg their partner in certain ways not to leave them, to love them, they may feel like if they are abandoned they will not survive and it may feel like the end of the world for them, when in the real sense, they engineered their own rejection by undermining or pushing their partner away. It's a cruel cycle they put themselves through, where they hurt both themselves and their partners. To quote lyrics from an Ed Sheeran song, "Can't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but don't nobody love you like I do. Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain't nobody need you like I do."
They can be sweet, kind and vulnerable then aggressive, assertive and rebellious. Their feelings rapidly change from happy to angry to sad, and partners can rarely keep up with their emotional drama.
Their lives tend to revolve around the person they are attracted to, and their thoughts, actions and plans revolve around trying to capture this person's love and attention. If this doesn't work out, they lash out at this person in various ways, their goal being to hurt them; living up to the phrase "Hurt people hurt people".
They are spontaneous, fun, carefree and have a good sense of humour, and their presence can be addictive to others because of their love for intense experiences. However, they can also be moody and emotionally turbulent, and seek out to hurt their loved ones for one reason or another in this state.
They are extremely self-absorbed, and can make everything about them. This can put people off in conversations or social situations, where these 4s can make everything about them and what they want and how they're feeling.
They are extremely, painfully, aware of their flaws and can be counter-envious in the manner that they will be exhibitionistic of their flaws in an indignant way, exuding confidence and arrogance and aesthetism, but this fearlessness and arrogance is not from place of superiority, but from a place of inferiority/worthlessness. Overcompensation is the MO of this 4, for they're always overcompensating for their emotional lack, their physical lack, their social lack. They are hyper aware of how they come off to others, but do not aim to please these people as much as they want to show them that they are better and assert their superiority. They can act out in anger or rebellion when they feel like people undermine or look down on them or their qualities. They crave connection and the ease to which others seem to connect with each other and live life "easily", but also alienate themselves from others because of a sense of ordinariness and simplistic naivete in the actions of the same people they envy for having it easier than them.
They can rely on music, movies, TV shows and other external factors to indulge their emotions, and feel the extreme highs and lows that they long to feel. They are emotion addicts.
The Sexual 4
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