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Thread: Help with Super-Ego Relations

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    Ragdoll Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Help with Super-Ego Relations

    Is there any way to deal with it when you have to coexist with superego partner? (I mean, no fights, mutual respect etc)

    I'm talking about family relations and unhealthy IEI with no dual or Se in the life.

    Thanks in advance.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    @Blackberry, deal with your superego partner the same way you'd deal with any difficult person. Minimize contact, don't try to share personal stuff in an attempt to create intimacy or friendship (that just makes things worse), be polite, praise their actual good points, never mention the bad.

    Consider your time spent with them the same as if you were in a high radiation area at Chernobyl. It won't kill you instantly, but your exposure will accumulate with every minute and with every visit.

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    Ragdoll Lynx's Avatar
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    @Adam Strange
    I certainly do some of these things (minimize contact, don't sharing personal stuff to avoid intimacy or friendship), somehow polite (whenever is possible) but rarely praising. I think that showing too much positivism is just going to entitle this person to come closer. All in all, this person seem invested in taking benefits from others and endlessly demanding rights. I hope this not happening again but I'm not sure because one never knows with this person. I've tried almost everything. Plus I need to be around to take care of my LSE dad and I don't want this person feeling free to mistreating him.
    Last edited by Ragdoll Lynx; 05-24-2019 at 04:41 AM.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    If this person is in your family, you might be surprised to find out that they actually do not want to mistreat your dad. You may not trust this person at all, but part of that might be your reaction to superego. Ask a third person how they behave with your father.

    My ex-wife is SLI, and her two younger sisters are IEE and IEI. They all got along. When their LSE father got sick, it was the IEI who quit her job to take care of him.

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    Haikus silke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackberry View Post
    ...
    I've seen that whole burning of the house down happen and it has been between an SEI man and an LSE woman who would go around criticizing his actions from her Te and demolishing his self-esteem. In response, he did light up their house on fire one day. Supervisees take their supervisor's comments too close to heart sometimes, especially without any prior supervision experience, which can end in instances like these. Another supervisee almost threw himself under a train living with his supervisor wife. Crazy things happen in supervision. Superegos hmm not so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackberry View Post
    >>.
    How has she mistreated elderly people and "all family members in the past"?

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    Ragdoll Lynx's Avatar
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    @silke
    please don't quote me.

    edit. thank you.

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    Haikus silke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackberry View Post
    @silke
    please don't quote me.
    Alright, if this is a a family sensitive topic I have erased your quotes.

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    fka he died with a felafel / felafel Delilah's Avatar
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    Hi @OP, in my humble opinion this type of relationship seems to vary on things like context of relationship (whether it is family, work, friend/acquaintance, etc) and whether you actually like each other/ have something to offer/benefit each other by.

    I believe I have a work relationship with a superego right now (i could be wrong, but the chances are high they are superego) and while the relationship started out great it turned sour in recent months (at least on my end this is so, maybe the superego believes it to still be great, i dunno) and I have tried many things to prevent it from going completely south. I am not happy with the results so far, but I am satisfied that I tried quite a bit before deciding the following:
    -keep a long psychological distance
    - show / demonstrate respect
    - keep it as formal as possible/ don't make it personal
    - if you notice tension between you and superego try and get someone else involved (not like maliciously, but just so as to relieve the direct tension buildup)

    The above are just temporary fixes rather than long term solutions. Of course in my case the superego is LSI so they insist on things such as "why don't you take one for the team?". Having figured this so-called team out in the past couple of years, and having already taken 'one for the team' a couple of times before it was evident what a sorry state of disbanded band the team was in, I will *never* take one for this team again, needless to say.

    Long term solutions: change environment, this is what seems correct to me at least.

    Good luck.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

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    Haikus
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    When the start acting this way and its systemic and long term its time to kick them out.

    Its sink or swim and everybody has to learn to float on their own, no one escapes it, not even IEI.

    Its a harsh lesson, but it might be time now. This won't improve.

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    Ragdoll Lynx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    I've seen that whole burning of the house down happen and it has been between an SEI man and an LSE woman who would go around criticizing his actions from her Te and demolishing his self-esteem. In response, he did light up their house on fire one day. Supervisees take their supervisor's comments too close to heart sometimes, especially without any prior supervision experience, which can end in instances like these. Another supervisee almost threw himself under a train living with his supervisor wife. Crazy things happen in supervision. Superegos hmm not so much.
    I'm not talking about any SEI. I know this person, scores IEI in tests and fits all the descriptions. This person is not any S, and is not a caregiver.

    How has she mistreated elderly people and "all family members in the past"?
    Besides what I already told yesterday, not helping them in the most basic and simple things (such as to stand up if they fall down). There are lots of things to list them all, but you can read IEI Strat descriptions and that's pretty much it.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackberry View Post
    I'm not talking about any SEI. I know this person, scores IEI in tests and fits all the descriptions. This person is not any S, and is not a caregiver.



    Besides what I already told yesterday, not helping them in the most basic and simple things (such as to stand up if they fall down). There are lots of things to list them all, but you can read IEI Strat descriptions and that's pretty much it.
    @Blackberry, if their relationship has progressed to the stage described by Stratiyevskaya, then it is pretty bad. It might require an intervention.

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