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Thread: EII Healer role

  1. #41
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    sorry I misinterpreted these questions, I'm afraid. thought that "to brush up" meant I was enhancing his frustrations, which is actually possible, some medicines gotta hurt to work.

    what happened was that he was acting insensitive towards some hurt people and they decided to punish him, of course that made him feel bad. I tried and tried to explain him what happened, because he couldn't step out of his self-righteousness, they were wrong, he did nothing wrong. and he was so enraged/low/pissed, out of something really really obvious and silly.

    what I did was repeating him over and over how what he did hurt other's sensitivity. I could see his points though, because he sure had his rights too, but he couldn't complain about something that was ultimately the result of his little care for a group of hurt people.

    after 3 hours (I swear to god) he was repeating the same excuses, I told him "I'm done with this shit." and left. after a little bit he reached me, apologized for his insensitive behaviors, he was truly ashamed. and then it was like a big burden was lifted from his shoulders, because he realized what he did... and that meant he could fix the situation, finally. we spent the rest of the time laughing and being nice, and it was very good.
    Still you didnít brush up His thought. He only decided talking to you was pointless and he stopped
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  2. #42
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    No type can lay sole claim to any role or skill. For example, Si-types seem more perceptive of physical health anomalies and ESEs are more apt to offer remedy suggestions but I wouldn't suggest that they were natural healers. There have been suggestions that Ne-types would be better at detecting mental illnesses but even if this were true, it wouldn't a healer make. EIIs do seem to have better innate tools for mediation because they are usually able to see complete pictures (interrelationship wise) and rationalize a relatively balanced solution among diverse perspectives - so a healer in that sense may be a possibility. However, this doesn't imply that other types couldn't do the job equally as well because so many factors come into play for most roles.....

    a.k.a. I/O

  3. #43
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I would say EII are not meant to heal but to nurture. I donít want to be a doctor because unlike my ESI aunt I am too sensitive to the suffering of people. I would much rather stick to a few that I can handle... like my parents or in-laws or husband daughter
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Still you didn’t brush up His thought. He only decided talking to you was pointless and he stopped
    lol, so I got you right the first time.. smh

    it was me to decide the talk was enough, he came back to me and apologized, today he even thanked me for opeing his eyes, he was feeling 10x better...

    but so far I'm aware of your sadistic tendencies to see evil in and put down everyone who you perceive as challenging, for whatever twisted reason, so I'm gonna encourage you to keep thinking wtv evil you wish, hopefully that'll make you and the real people in your life happy : )

  5. #45
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    lol, so I got you right the first time.. smh

    it was me to decide the talk was enough, he came back to me and apologized, today he even thanked me for opeing his eyes, he was feeling 10x better...

    but so far I'm aware of your sadistic tendencies to see evil in and put down everyone who you perceive as challenging, for whatever twisted reason, so I'm gonna encourage you to keep thinking wtv evil you wish, hopefully that'll make you and the real people in your life happy : )
    My dear Fi is not making someone understand that they lack empathy for others. It is interpretation of Intertype relationships and analysis of them
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  6. #46
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    ^ you just confirmed your lack of Fi for just the umpteenth time then, my dear

  7. #47
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    ^ you just confirmed your lack of Fi for just the umpteenth time then, my dear
    Thereís no reason for me to argue with you. Your real life relationship with the LSE will prove everything
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    .........I am too sensitive to the suffering of people.........
    EIIs seem able to fully understand the suffering of others but they seem far too detached to truly empathise with the suffering of others unless they've suffered similarly themselves; this detached quality seems to help them help others. They do seem to be highly sensitive to their own suffering or the suffering of those close - and what makes them feel worse is personal impotence.......

    a.k.a. I/O

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    EIIs seem able to fully understand the suffering of others but they seem far too detached to truly empathise with the suffering of others unless they've suffered similarly themselves; this detached quality seems to help them help others. They do seem to be highly sensitive to their own suffering or the suffering of those close - and what makes them feel worse is personal impotence.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    I donít know about that. Every time I take my daughter into childrenís hospital (2 month); my heart sinks ten feet into the ground every time I see a child rolled in in a chair from the different departments upstairs like cancer etc
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  10. #50
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    I don’t know about that. Every time I take my daughter into children’s hospital (2 month); my heart sinks ten feet into the ground every time I see a child rolled in in a chair from the different departments upstairs like cancer etc
    Most people don't like witnessing suffering - even T-types. This may seem like splitting hairs but, for an EII, what makes you feel worse: that some stranger has cancer or that you're powerless to do anything about it?

    a.k.a. I/O

    Edit: I've noted that when they're actually able to do something even though they do realize that it'll not affect the final outcome, they don't seem as squeamish.

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Most people don't like witnessing suffering - even T-types. This may seem like splitting hairs but, for an EII, what makes you feel worse: that some stranger has cancer or that you're powerless to do anything about it?

    a.k.a. I/O

    Edit: I've noted that when they're actually able to do something even though they do realize that it'll not affect the final outcome, they don't seem as squeamish.
    Powerless to do anything about it
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  12. #52
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    sorry I misinterpreted these questions, I'm afraid. thought that "to brush up" meant I was enhancing his frustrations, which is actually possible, some medicines gotta hurt to work.

    what happened was that he was acting insensitive towards some hurt people and they decided to punish him, of course that made him feel bad. I tried and tried to explain him what happened, because he couldn't step out of his self-righteousness, they were wrong, he did nothing wrong. and he was so enraged/low/pissed, out of something really really obvious and silly.

    what I did was repeating him over and over how what he did hurt other's sensitivity. I could see his points though, because he sure had his rights too, but he couldn't complain about something that was ultimately the result of his little care for a group of hurt people.

    after 3 hours (I swear to god) he was repeating the same excuses, I told him "I'm done with this shit." and left. after a little bit he reached me, apologized for his insensitive behaviors, he was truly ashamed. and then it was like a big burden was lifted from his shoulders, because he realized what he did... and that meant he could fix the situation, finally. we spent the rest of the time laughing and being nice, and it was very good.
    Yes you did misinterpret what I was trying to tell you.

    You really need to learn to listen to people not as a form of threat but as a form of helping and instructing

    1. That he went on for three hours tells me that you do not know how to brush away his feelings. The feelings became obsessive in him.
    2. You need to learn to do that if you’re going to continue to be INFJ.

    ESTj bad feelings are brushed away with your ethics and your morals. In a similar circumstance I would have said “I believe in patience and forgiveness.”

    You see how that works?

    When an ESTJ hears that their obsessive reflection stops and reorientation to your values. He then will say “I do too..but this guy and that guy....did this and that...”

    I will say again very firmly “Forgiveness will make you a bigger person despite what happened. People forgive and move on. Death brings us all to excuse the petty wrongs by others.”

    Now do you understand what Fi is and does for LSE?

    And next time don’t walk away from a long rant. You are there to listen
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  13. #53
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    well, thanks for the unrequested advice BS. guy is probably SLI anyway, or maybe just LSE with strong Si, either way, what I did was spontaneous and worked. what I did for the first 3 hours was very similar to what you were suggesting, listening to him and repeating over and over how "it's ok, both parties are right and wrong, I understand you, I'm on your side, don't be down", but nothing of this helped him, for 3 hours.

    only when I finally released my polr, because of his incessant complaining, the situation came to settle for good. so I did acually brush up his mood the way you say, but that didn't work. being myself instead, made wonders.

    (this is even explained in the basic theory about EII's behaviors in action, but I'm sure your friend Rod Novichok is too obsessed by necks length to delve into the psyche of the types)

  14. #54
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    its not unusual for delta nfs, especially with a lot of compliant triad enneagram influence, to think they can trade emotional support for respect, closeness, or good relationships. You will hear about "debt" that EIIs put people into by 'being there' and then hoping or expecting reciprocation, or a passive accruing of expectation given emotional services.

    In another light, EII are often very able to be aware of a persons inner uneasiness and see a path for their potential fulfillment or development; they can see and feel the disparity. Or, at the very least, they can prioritize the communication around such topics in a way that the speaker feels validated in them. You know, the kind of thing that 4d Te types can routinely overlook especially when its inconvenient for them to do so.

    Different EIIs take different amounts of a stand on this, though. Some of them are more reserved in their listening, some are more crusading in their efforts.


    PS: hi smilex
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    ^ the emotional help of an EII too depends on the circumstances. for example it's common for LSEs to be let down by people for silly matters and it's in the role of an EII to see the emotional bonds on more thorough light. this objectivity, although not very condescending, can help relief the sense of injustice caused by a poor grasp of the interpersonal laws at play.

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    ........think they can trade emotional support for respect, closeness, or good relationships. You will hear about "debt" that EIIs put people into........EII are often very able to be aware of a persons inner uneasiness and see a path for their potential fulfillment or development.........
    Most EIIs don't normally intend to put others into emotional 'debt'; this feeling of owing likely originates from the receiver of the support. However, EIIs do seem to expect that their advice will be respected and followed, and woe to the one who throws it away. The paths that EIIs see for others are normally the ones that they would take themselves, which aren't necessarily bad paths but often aren't uniquely tailored for others. EIIs don't normally get involved enough to see what others need to overcome to get on the recommended paths; more than a few EII suggestions have been well intentioned but overly idealistic and somewhat impractical.......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shytan View Post
    I've read about EIIs having a healer role (as well as a mediator role) from so many articles. What does this mean? How does this apply?
    they secretly want to be liked, loved and accepted by everybody, and they don't like to be disruptive with other's ppls morals.

    If someone comes to them, they would try to make them feel good and say nice things, I think they are programmed to give support and love to LSEs as LSEs do most of things in their surroundings, they internally feel drained, tired and sad but keep going everyday as if they wouldn't.

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