Outgoing and socially involved SLIs-ISTps

[Cyrano]

[the ISTp will] think of witty things to say in a microsecond on his feet. .

I think that's typical, if what I think I say is as witty as I think it is when I say it.

Like some others here have said about ISTp's they know, this guy is VERY well liked. He even joked at one point that girls get withdrawal symptoms from him, and frankly. . .it's true.

Well, that may not be typical.

I also unleashed a series of pretty aggressive moves lately (heck maybe i was being "aggressive" before without realizing it), including a full confession of my attraction to him.

You know what worked for me as an ISTp? You have to take it slow. If you attack, he will flee. If you just make your interest known VERY clearly, he will take the next step. But you have to be crystal clear that you are interested, but not too much.

So you don' say, "WOW I want you." (run away!)

You should demonstrate that he would have a zero percent chance of failure if he asks."

That sound weak? From my perspective, the women drive the courtship. We are ALWAYS interested if she looks good and would be receptive. If she's TOO interested, she must be desperate. (run away!)

So if you think you've gone too far, back off, keep the channels open, but the ball is his now.

[xyz]

I'm outgoing when I wanna get something.

[tiny_dancer]

Ah, yes, the 'ol "ask without asking."

Who says men aren't complicated??

*sigh* I do not have enough patience to date you guys. I wish I did, but having to play mind games just makes me annoyed and I end up leaving.

[Lobo]

Well, that may not be typical.

haha .

Ah, yes, the 'ol "ask without asking."

Who says men aren't complicated??

*sigh* I do not have enough patience to date you guys. I wish I did, but having to play mind games just makes me annoyed and I end up leaving.

For sure, men are also complicated. Of course I'm biased when I say that women are more complicated in general, but let's not go there.

[jewels]

yeah my sli bf can be very outgoing, but it's an effort. I can tell that he's in "outgoing mode." Either that, or when he's drunk he seems outgoing. He comes across as gregarious and smiles a lot. I was confused at first because in his photos he didn't have the ISTp "eyes" but then he said he was drunk in most of his photos. Around me he is way quieter and zones out more. But w/ others he tries to smile a lot, asks more questions, etc.

[tiny_dancer]

I wonder if guys are just naturally clueless, regardless of type. A good EII friend of mine was married to an SLI and used to say his wife was incomprehensible, but she could read him like a book. I thought he was supposed to have FiNe mindreading abilities. What happened to those?? He was pretty good with everybody else.

Whatever. I'm not complicated. *bats eyelashes*

[Lobo]

I wonder if guys are just naturally clueless, regardless of type. A good EII friend of mine was married to an SLI and used to say his wife was incomprehensible, but she could read him like a book. I thought he was supposed to have FiNe mindreading abilities. What happened to those?? He was pretty good with everybody else.

Whatever. I'm not complicated. *bats eyelashes*

hahaha, nice. I remember this one situation with my IEE friend, where she showed me a picture of a girl and asked me if she was pretty. I said "yes she is," and apparently that was the wrong answer to the question, and then she went "ugh, guys can be so stupid" and she got pissed off. To this day, I don't understand what happened.

[Suz]

hahaha, nice. I remember this one situation with my IEE friend, where she showed me a picture of a girl and asked me if she was pretty. I said "yes she is," and apparently that was the wrong answer to the question, and then she went "ugh, guys can be so stupid" and she got pissed off. To this day, I don't understand what happened.

She was probably sizing up the competition I know ALL about that. . .

And what you did was tell her that her competitor (likely with a guy she liked) was pretty. Way to induce stress Lobo!

[jewels]

hahaha, nice. I remember this one situation with my IEE friend, where she showed me a picture of a girl and asked me if she was pretty. I said "yes she is," and apparently that was the wrong answer to the question, and then she went "ugh, guys can be so stupid" and she got pissed off. To this day, I don't understand what happened.

always say "eh...she's OK. Why?" (neutral)

Then determine the reason and give the appropriate answer.

Not Pretty
If she's someone her bf hit on, or is anyway a threat or competition, then clearly she's less attractive than your friend (wow he hit on her? She's not nearly as pretty as YOU).

Pretty-ish
If she's the girls family member/friend who isn't a threat, then "oh actually she does have very nice eyes/smile. She looks like a really nice person."

[Park]

hahaha, nice. I remember this one situation with my IEE friend, where she showed me a picture of a girl and asked me if she was pretty. I said "yes she is," and apparently that was the wrong answer to the question, and then she went "ugh, guys can be so stupid" and she got pissed off. To this day, I don't understand what happened.

wtf, you're a guy? i somehow thought you were a female...

[UDP]

wtf, you're a guy? i somehow thought you were a female...

I hit on EII males too

[Solidad]

hahaha, nice. I remember this one situation with my IEE friend, where she showed me a picture of a girl and asked me if she was pretty. I said "yes she is," and apparently that was the wrong answer to the question, and then she went "ugh, guys can be so stupid" and she got pissed off. To this day, I don't understand what happened.

Hey, Lobo I could tell you are a guy right from the get go... :-)

Though sometimes you sound like ESI guy to me (like one of my closest friends)...from your dialogue and due to your 6 enneagram type --
--
the scenario you describe sounds rather illogical

If someone is asking if a person is "pretty" then why would there be a wrong answer at that point? I'm assuming there are multiple options for answering.

"pretty," "ok," "don't know," or "ugly" would have been valid responses, no?

it is all relative, anyway-- so, I don't get why your friend was upset...is your friend really IEE? ....or is there some other background missing in this situation?

oops, i'm derailing the thread -- sorry!

[Cyrano]

haha .




For sure, men are also complicated. Of course I'm biased when I say that women are more complicated in general, but let's not go there.

True.

If everyone were good looking, I don't think we would have such problems. :-)

[Cyrano]

Ah, yes, the 'ol "ask without asking."

Who says men aren't complicated??

*sigh* I do not have enough patience to date you guys. I wish I did, but having to play mind games just makes me annoyed and I end up leaving.

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

[jewels]

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

I like that you're seeing the good in people, but some ISTps ARE players. I've confirmed this with my field tests and "research" lol.

I don't think ISTps consciously pick up on the signals, but they do sorta tell somehow. When someone is relating to them well, the relate back and it escalates. etc. Give the ISTps more credit. They can be very good at being a player, and can be vague and misleading as well when they feel like it. (not all, some)

[tiny_dancer]

Oh, I was talking more about how men will assume you're desperate if you're honest with them.

Of course, more often than not one person will be more interested than the other person is. Gotta give them time to get on the same page, which may or may not happen. So yeah, I know why honesty doesn't work, it's just annoying.

[Suz]

I like that you're seeing the good in people, but some ISTps ARE players. I've confirmed this with my field tests and "research" lol.

I don't think ISTps consciously pick up on the signals, but they do sorta tell somehow. When someone is relating to them well, the relate back and it escalates. etc. Give the ISTps more credit. They can be very good at being a player, and can be vague and misleading as well when they feel like it. (not all, some)

I agree with everything you said, jewels. And I confirm that SLIs can be players. I think it all depends on the environment the particular SLI had become socialized to.

Oh, I was talking more about how men will assume you're desperate if you're honest with them. .

I know. . .SO lame Maybe SLIs won't as much just because they like Fi-filled expressions of feeling?? Is this true?

Of course, more often than not one person will be more interested than the other person is. Gotta give them time to get on the same page, which may or may not happen. So yeah, I know why honesty doesn't work, it's just annoying.

I totally agree.

[Suz]

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

Interesting, because that is probably something IEE's can't give you. At least, with cases of romantic interest, I end up inadvertantly giving all these mixed signals, and I try to be subtle about my interest until it gets to the point where I become worried that he might not be getting the hint, and i want to give the opportunity justice, so I just end up coming clean.

I really dont know how aggressive my confession was actually. (it went in written form, since I moved away recently). I tried to keep it restrained and classy, but I did come right out and state that I'd become very attracted to him. I didn't want to take any chances of him not getting the point. However, I did acknowledge that he is now in a relationship and I regret having missed the opportunity to tell him sooner. The thing is, I had been hinting for several months now, and in person we were constantly having the Topaz-like interaction before I moved away, so I suspect he did realize that there may be something there and so I dont think my confession came as a complete surprise to him. If anything, it probably confirmed his suspicions.

[Park]

You know what worked for me as an ISTp? You have to take it slow. If you attack, he will flee. If you just make your interest known VERY clearly, he will take the next step. But you have to be crystal clear that you are interested, but not too much.

So you don' say, "WOW I want you." (run away!)

You should demonstrate that he would have a zero percent chance of failure if he asks."

That sound weak? From my perspective, the women drive the courtship. We are ALWAYS interested if she looks good and would be receptive. If she's TOO interested, she must be desperate. (run away!)

So if you think you've gone too far, back off, keep the channels open, but the ball is his now.

I simply have nothing to add.

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

I feel like I'm quoting myself now.

True.

If everyone were good looking, I don't think we would have such problems. :-)

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[Cyrano]

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

But there's so much room in here!

[Suz]

But there's so much room in here!

OMG you SLIs and your HUGE heads. . .

btw

[Park]

I do have a huge head, actually. Remember that pic I showed you?