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Thread: conflict between SEE and ESI

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default conflict between SEE and ESI

    So my cousin is ESI and her brat teenager is SEE. (Yes, I said brat). We have a family gathering coming up on Friday however my ESI cousin made PLANS to go to another event on that day months ago. Upon hearing about our gathering my SEE niece throws some attitudes at the mom and whines and complains and gets aggressive (she picks up a pillow - not a soft one and is about to smack her mom). Now throughout the complaints the mom is trying to be rational and explain, "we made plans months ago, what can I do if they decided on the family gathering on the last minute?" the daughter doesn't care and still whines "but I don't like where we're going? why can't I not go?" Now RSVP -ing for their event means reserving a table at the restaurant and each seat costs $50. My cousin is $350 into this and her teenage brat is complaining about it not being FUN. I intervene after I sense the aggression and I tell her this "you know part of being an adult is sticking with your commitments and learning to have fun no matter where you're at." She withdraws from her taking jabs at her poor mother who is internalizing the frustrations and looking like she's emotional and tired and sitting there and is about to cry. I told the brat to look at the possibilities "you may actually have a good time." OMG sometimes SEE brat kids can really get to me especially when they don't factor in the and don't consider the feelings of their parents and resort to whining about not having fun.
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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    Alomoes's Avatar
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    Can't confirm any of that is relatively true. This is because I don't think that's Fi or Ne. Nice and well structured though. Takes into account the things I'd meantion.

    Brat is kind of harsh though. You'd want to give the person equivalent payment for the time spent. Assume that another person is spending money means nothing to the person.

    When someone is forced into doing something they don't like, they will likely complain, because they think they can likely spend the time better themselves. As such, giving reasons to go that make logical sense are good for that. If there are none, the. You'd want to fall back on the good and tasty method of bribes.

    For now, though, I believe that person was expressing being upset, thus I would apologize for making them upset. Pretty sure you don't want to, but this is just to make business together run more smoothly. If you've punished the person for breaking rules, keep that in mind. Punishments are bargaining chips in apologizing.

    To apologize, you must state you recognize the pain caused, state the apology, and then offer any one thing as payment for damages caused. Learned that in Dynamic Communications class. Anyways that should solve your immediate problem. Long term, IDK. I have the same issues, and you seem to have it easy.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology

    An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.

    http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=LIE_Profile_by_Gulenko

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    Make the family gathering as fun as possible?

    What are some of the SEE favorite stuff? How about adding some of her favorite activities into the family gathering?

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    Oh yeah, neat. Semi dual.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hermit Soul View Post
    Make the family gathering as fun as possible?

    What are some of the SEE favorite stuff? How about adding some of her favorite activities into the family gathering?
    Yes. Pretty much. Figured it'd be harder for someone who is angry at the person to do. Baby steps. Forcing an apology will cause everyone to be neutral again. Then long term planning can be done.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology

    An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.

    http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=LIE_Profile_by_Gulenko

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Is there a father somewhere?
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    So my cousin is ESI and her brat teenager is SEE. (Yes, I said brat). We have a family gathering coming up on Friday however my ESI cousin made PLANS to go to another event on that day months ago. Upon hearing about our gathering my SEE niece throws some attitudes at the mom and whines and complains and gets aggressive (she picks up a pillow - not a soft one and is about to smack her mom). Now throughout the complaints the mom is trying to be rational and explain, "we made plans months ago, what can I do if they decided on the family gathering on the last minute?" the daughter doesn't care and still whines "but I don't like where we're going? why can't I not go?" Now RSVP -ing for their event means reserving a table at the restaurant and each seat costs $50. My cousin is $350 into this and her teenage brat is complaining about it not being FUN. I intervene after I sense the aggression and I tell her this "you know part of being an adult is sticking with your commitments and learning to have fun no matter where you're at." She withdraws from her taking jabs at her poor mother who is internalizing the frustrations and looking like she's emotional and tired and sitting there and is about to cry. I told the brat to look at the possibilities "you may actually have a good time." OMG sometimes SEE brat kids can really get to me especially when they don't factor in the and don't consider the feelings of their parents and resort to whining about not having fun.
    Ya gotta spark their imagination somehow. types turn/are attracted to people like me because I got that thing they know they lack/didn't develop in spades. The SEE relation probably feels the same way I would there. Family ought to come first. In a nuanced way of course. If your brother is begging you for cash to pay his meth dealer the correct answer is to not give him any money as you know exactly what he's gonna spend it on and no good brother willfully fuels or condones his vices and errors.

    Now, I can also get how their mind may be working. A reservation made 8 months ago means jack shit if a direct family member of yours just got hospitalized. If you're momma just got hit by a truck, that appointment/reservation will have to wait. The waiters and such can suck it. Family is in the hospital and might well die at any time. If I am not there and they do? I'll never live that one down. I'd always regret putting my career above my familial obligations as it were.

    This is just me rambling on however. I can be wrong, but I doubt I am as I've a good personal track record...
    Last edited by End; 05-13-2019 at 07:17 AM.

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