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Thread: What is the best way to relax?

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    Default What is the best way to relax?

    I can not relax. I envy those who can. I can not for the life of me. Externally I can go to a park walk etc but internally I’m “this needs to be done, that, let me not forget this and I’ll have to work at this a while.”
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    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    A book and tea works for me, or taking a walk.

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    Hitting the gym and lifting weights is probably the best way for me. I need to do something to reboot myself and kill the stress. After working out I can relax, read, listen to music.


    Spending a weekend in our cabin in the countryside is also great. Chopping wood and walking in the forest.

    Seeing friends and social dancing
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Here comes the Si @Tallmo I havent exercised in a while.
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    A bottle of wine also helps a lot. But Ive stopped drinking now because I need to find healthier ways to relax.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Smoke a joint of indica and hang out at your room alone with music and videos from YouTube.

    On a more serious note: naps, jogging and meditating work well.
    We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. Randy Pausch

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    Smoke a joint of indica and hang out at your room alone with music and videos from YouTube.

    On a more serious note: naps, jogging and meditating work well.
    Lol Raver. Im so square about drugs and stuff that if I ever did that my husband would crack up.
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    There's no 'way' to relaxing. You're either relaxed or you're not.

    Methods/techniques to relax often make me more anxious. I remember sometimes trying to listen to soothing music/typical anti anxiety stuff and it actually made me MORE stressed- not less. If you can be relaxed even in the midst of chaos- that is the true paramount to change cuz relaxation comes from within not from a CD or mantra or scented candles and hot spas etc.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    There's no 'way' to relaxing. You're either relaxed or you're not.

    Methods/techniques to relax often make me more anxious. I remember sometimes trying to listen to soothing music/typical anti anxiety stuff and it actually made me MORE stressed- not less. If you can be relaxed even in the midst of chaos- that is the true paramount to change cuz relaxation comes from within not from a CD or mantra or scented candles and hot spas etc.
    Thats a great idea. Ill try it
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I find it more difficult to not be relaxed. So basically anything I chose to do of my own free will will relax me. Even when I'm stressed or whatever I'm always being tugged out of it.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Im just gathering ideas and perspectives from my favorite group

    Its either you or YouTube but YouTube doesnt make me laugh nearly as much as you
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    A year ago we bought an inflatable hot tub, I use it almost every day. To me it's the only effective way of serious loitering and being able of letting go this nagging feeling of always having to do something.

    Obviously you need to have space, and preferably a warm climate so the electricity bill doesn't skyrocket.

    I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that. --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    There's no 'way' to relaxing. You're either relaxed or you're not.

    Methods/techniques to relax often make me more anxious. I remember sometimes trying to listen to soothing music/typical anti anxiety stuff and it actually made me MORE stressed- not less. If you can be relaxed even in the midst of chaos- that is the true paramount to change cuz relaxation comes from within not from a CD or mantra or scented candles and hot spas etc.
    I think this really differs from person to person. Some people simply need some kind of outside intervention to get into a relaxed state, and this is typically true for Delta NFs. I have a lot of benefits from my spa, but I do realize that this is not necessarily a benefit to a lot of other people. E.g. some people already are in a relaxed state by default, and they sometimes need a proverbial kick in the butt in order to get into action ;-)
    I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that. --- Pippi Longstocking

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    @consentingadult

    Yeah, and I also think exercise/something stimulating can also be relaxing at the same time. Idk sometimes I take it to me being left-handed and my brain being backwards compared to most people so sometimes the opposite effect on me will have the right, desired effect lol.

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    1.write down the things you need to do
    2.sort them by priority
    3.plan what you want to do on which day
    4.do said tasks, don't multitask
    5.relax
    because you know that you're getting your shit done

    keep a notebook so you don't forget what you need to do
    revise said notebook at the end of each day

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    It depends on what you mean by relaxed. To some people, its chilling out or escapism. To others its recharging, to some its being treated to something like a spa day.

    But if youre not talking about a treat or an escape, but rather you mean wanting to have the values you have, yet be a little less wound up, one thing you can try is Alexander technique. This is a good basic book about it:

    https://www.amazon.com/Body-Learning...s%2C138&sr=8-2
    LSI: I still cant figure out Pinterest.

    Me: Its just, like, idea boards.

    LSI: I dont have ideas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by golden View Post
    It depends on what you mean by relaxed. To some people, its chilling out or escapism. To others its recharging, to some its being treated to something like a spa day.

    But if youre not talking about a treat or an escape, but rather you mean wanting to have the values you have, yet be a little less wound up, one thing you can try is Alexander technique. This is a good basic book about it:

    https://www.amazon.com/Body-Learning...s%2C138&sr=8-2
    Omg I just read your signature
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Omg I just read your signature
    My husband is the quoted person. He does have ideas, though. I think.
    LSI: I still cant figure out Pinterest.

    Me: Its just, like, idea boards.

    LSI: I dont have ideas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi View Post
    1.write down the things you need to do
    2.sort them by priority
    3.plan what you want to do on which day
    4.do said tasks, don't multitask
    5.relax
    because you know that you're getting your shit done

    keep a notebook so you don't forget what you need to do
    revise said notebook at the end of each day
    I read a good recommendation on a book on procrastination once, that basically said the same thing, but added one very important thing: to add recreational/fun activities to your to do list, because without these items, to-do lists might give the subconscious impression that life is all about obligations. I found that was very helpful.

    Another good pointer was not to overplan (because with the more irrational -non-socionically speaking- among us, too much planning can create psychological resistance). And not focus too much an the end result, often tasks have a greater chance of being completed if you just tell yourself you are going to work on it for 30 minutes.

    I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that. --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Praying and having the right mindset. Usually I feel stressed out when I start over thinking in stuff with wrong mindset and not looking at stuff within the right perspective. In socionics I think having enough and correct info in Suggestive and Movilizing would get you at ease, while going into Role and Ignoring can stress us (and we work with these functions when we stress as well).

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    to sleep
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    to sleep
    I do suffer from this because baby wakes up in the middle of the night to eat and that's the rest of the night for me right there. Can't get back to sleep.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    @ooo



    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    I do suffer from this because baby wakes up in the middle of the night to eat and that's the rest of the night for me right there. Can't get back to sleep.
    concentrait on good thoughts and stop inner talking to back to sleep
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Try to think about the inevitability of it all, and find yourself at peace with the stream - easier said than done, of course. Isn't this what we talk about when we use the term 'wisdom'? To relax, to be at peace?

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    It's a process. I have recently been stressed after work, and when I go to bed I'm still slightly stressed, even after an evening of relaxing at home and I can feel it in the night also. Not good.

    The stress stays in the body and mind somehow. One has to do some compensatory activity to change the circuits in the mind that are stressed. Doing nothing is not good for relaxing if you are already stressed, I agree with BandD.

    I just went to the gym and it worked wonders. Weight lifting at slow pace for one hour and then shower and sauna. Then a short walk home in the nice weather.

    Now I would be ready for even more relaxing things like reading or yoga.

    So I think one has to take it step by step.

    Or one could always move to some small town or village were life is simple and slow.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Try to think about the inevitability of it all, and find yourself at peace with the stream - easier said than done, of course.
    I do think this is a big thing about it. No matter how much you improve, no matter what you do or where you go or what you learn- you are going to die. And death is the ultimate peace.

    I think this maybe be why Anthony Bourdain killed himself. I do think suicide is frequently a bigger, more complicated issue than 'god I'm so sad- I want to die.' It's more like to me something where the person gets deep enough to realize the inevitably of everything ending, and just speeds it up a whole bunch.

    I also look at it as why get worked up and stressed over something when .... in the end nothing really matters. /plays angsty linkin park music. Nothing really matters, because there wasn't ever anything there in the first place. Nothing/nihilism is all that there is. It's not sad though, it's only an illusion that it's sad because even the sadness and pain dies, along with the happiness. It just ENDS!!!



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    Learning something new tends to relax me. So does working out and going for hikes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    A year ago we bought an inflatable hot tub, I use it almost every day. To me it's the only effective way of serious loitering and being able of letting go this nagging feeling of always having to do something.

    Obviously you need to have space, and preferably a warm climate so the electricity bill doesn't skyrocket.

    Oh yeahaa) I love it)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    Seeing friends and social dancing
    I love that you described it as it social dancing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    I love that you described it as it social dancing.

    What do you mean?
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    I relax way too much. I watch too much TV. I need to take more books out from the library. And just have them there to dip into. Dancing to good music with friends in a cool place is something that makes me feel happy and peaceful. I also feel relaxed around certain people- si types mostly, although it’s a bit complicated with LSE. Reading a novel helps me get to sleep, if I wake up with anxiety/weird anger I’ve started saying out loud ‘everything’s fine, tomorrow this good thing will happen, you’re happy about such n such, you’re gonna do such n such soon.’

    Sometimes I think that I’m trying to replicate the lifestyle of my childhood to feel happy. I used to play outside a lot, watch a lot of movies, read a bit, did my homework. I think going to raves feels very similar to playing outside with my friends. I enjoyed learning a lot more as a kid so it would be cool to be a bit more of a nerd again

    I live close to a beautiful park which I’d like to visit more frequently.

    also socialising/eating out..I quite like cafes..
    Last edited by Bethany; 11-28-2021 at 02:29 PM.

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    Sit still
    Breathe slow
    Stare into space
    Then start to lie down
    Once you start feeling sleepy, nap

    Just keep on repeating this

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    What do you mean?
    Hm as in you didn’t just say ‘seeing friends and dancing’. You emphasised the social aspect, which I totally get coz I like dancing with friends too. It’s a way of connecting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Hm as in you didn’t just say ‘seeing friends and dancing’. You emphasised the social aspect, which I totally get coz I like dancing with friends too. It’s a way of connecting.

    I think it is an expression in English "social dancing". Like salsa, foxtrot, tango etc. You go to some dance event and meet people and ask someone to dance. But yes, it is a way of connecting. Like when you dance with somebody, it can be like a mini date.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

  36. #36
    twiggewed, dewusional, entitwed, snowfwake VewyScawwyNawcissist's Avatar
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    stop living by setting goals and set principles instead. like depending on what's happening u should be doing x thing now, this includes nothing/relaxing, instead of thinking about what u should be doing but not doing now bc u have to do somehting else now like relaxing. u must always be doing the most important thing u should be doing right now.
    Your face makes your brain and sociotype how muscle use shapes personality





    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    I think it is an expression in English "social dancing". Like salsa, foxtrot, tango etc. You go to some dance event and meet people and ask someone to dance. But yes, it is a way of connecting. Like when you dance with somebody, it can be like a mini date.
    Oh ok my bad. That sounds fun..I’ve never tried that type of dancing but I like the sound of being asked to dance Learning moves sounds hard though. I like raves (nice cool ones). I like just being next to my friends, chatting a bit, but mostly just being with them, also looking at the crowd, looking at people dancing lol

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    The hot tub is perhaps the best way to relax and unwind after a hard working week, or even at the end of the day. Unfortunately, as much as I love my hot tub, I have to buy a new one. My hot tub is leaking and I don't know how to fix a leaking hot tub. If you judge by the number of advertisements offering hot tub refurbishment, spa breakdowns are common. This is a minus.

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    The Darling Duck~ MissDucki's Avatar
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    In bed and snuggling with a body pillow. The blankets covering you and keeping you warm. The Tv is on playing your favorite show and you have a hot noddle dish right next to you. Hoodie on with the hood pulled up. Cold day where you have nothing to do an you just took a hot shower beforehand. Hair is wet with the hood on. Face feels clean and moisturized. You just cant help but happy sigh.

  40. #40
    Ho Ho Ho! Santa Claus's Avatar
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    With or without clothing?

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