Results 1 to 25 of 25

Thread: Fe Dual Seeking

  1. #1
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default Fe Dual Seeking

    Fe seeking- my INTJ friend has cancer and was expressing on Facebook how his mother didn’t care to support and love him. He wrote this "Sucks not having a mother to trust, my disease doesn't mean anything, but kissing her ass to help me is necessary, so much for unconditional love."
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  2. #2

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I guess complaining about not having your mother care about you having cancer is "Fe dual seeking".

    And that's why Socionics is cancer.

  3. #3
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Singu View Post
    I guess complaining about not having your mother care about you having cancer is "Fe dual seeking".

    And that's why Socionics is cancer.
    OmGod

    Function #4 – objective ethics (Fe): the attitude of people to me, people’s relationships. A Maxim is easily suggested in this sphere. “I want people to care about me. I want to be liked, appreciated and respected. If people here like me, then this is a good place.” A Maxim’s cunning "friends" often use this trait. When he/she thinks “I am appreciated, trusted, I am coping”, he/she is in danger of being used. In the best-case scenario he will be thanked for his work and dismissed.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  4. #4

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    OmGod

    Function #4 – objective ethics (Fe): the attitude of people to me, people’s relationships. A Maxim is easily suggested in this sphere. “I want people to care about me. I want to be liked, appreciated and respected. If people here like me, then this is a good place.” A Maxim’s cunning "friends" often use this trait. When he/she thinks “I am appreciated, trusted, I am coping”, he/she is in danger of being used. In the best-case scenario he will be thanked for his work and dismissed.
    Can people without "Fe dual seeking" not complain about your mother not caring about you having cancer?

  5. #5
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Singu View Post
    Can people without "Fe dual seeking" not complain about your mother not caring about you having cancer?
    I don't complain about my relationship's attitude towards me in an emotional manner. I do describe my relationships here as a form of information.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  6. #6
    MrsTortilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    California
    TIM
    ESI 468 sp/sx
    Posts
    456
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    I don't complain about my relationship's attitude towards me in an emotional manner. I do describe my relationships here as a form of information.
    It appeared to me that what was meant by Singu’s comment was more like “you don’t have to be Fe dual seeking to complain that your mother doesn’t care for you.” Did I catch you right @Singu?

  7. #7
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Fe ESE responds with "I would express my sympathy for her illness and difficult situation, and ask what I could do to help"
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  8. #8

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Fe ESE responds with "I would express my sympathy for her illness and difficult situation, and ask what I could do to help"
    Isn't that what you also would do?

    The reason why the person is complaining... is because not having your own mother care about you having cancer is a legitimate thing to complain about. And maybe because the person is in a desperate situation.

    The obsession with labeling and categorizing things is making you unable to find the real reason for why people does anything. You can just put a label on things like "This is Fe dual seeking... this is Fe PoLR...", which doesn't actually mean anything, or it doesn't enlighten you with anything. It's not an explanation, it's just a labeling.

    At least, it's not the end of the discovery of why things are the way they are.

  9. #9
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTP 7w8
    Posts
    2,733
    Mentioned
    199 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Singu View Post
    Isn't that what you also would do?

    The reason why the person is complaining... is because not having your own mother care about you having cancer is a legitimate thing to complain about. And maybe because the person is in a desperate situation.

    The obsession with labeling and categorizing things is making you unable to find the real reason for why people does anything. You can just put a label on things like "This is Fe dual seeking... this is Fe PoLR...", which doesn't actually mean anything, or it doesn't enlighten you with anything. It's not an explanation, it's just a labeling.

    At least, it's not the end of the discovery of why things are the way they are.
    agree kinda bs that @Beautiful sky put this into socionics context lol, its kinda normal

  10. #10
    kalinoche's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    3,048
    Mentioned
    188 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    looks like his mother is helping after all
    honest labor needs no master

    Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream.

    Επί πάντων μέμνησο τα έσχατά σου, και ου μη αμαρτήσης

  11. #11
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,087
    Mentioned
    93 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    When under a lot of stress, Fe-types tend to disassociate and or distance themselves whereas INTjs tend to want to get closer and or more personal. Cancer may have created two ships passing in the night. I would have thought that a mature INTj would understand detachment even though that person may now (and unusually) be seeking succour - also, closeness often blinds INTjs to the big picture.......

    a.k.a. I/O

  12. #12
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    When under a lot of stress, Fe-types tend to disassociate and or distance themselves whereas INTjs tend to want to get closer and or more personal. Cancer may have created two ships passing in the night. I would have thought that a mature INTj would understand detachment even though that person may now (and unusually) be seeking succour - also, closeness often blinds INTjs to the big picture.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    the Mom is not ESE. My ESE friend replied to his post saying how he can help. In fact it was both my ESE cousin and sister who took care of my dying cousin (only because they had more time than myself. I helped in other ways).
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  13. #13
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,087
    Mentioned
    93 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    the Mom is not ESE. My ESE friend replied to his post saying how he can help. In fact it was both my ESE cousin and sister who took care of my dying cousin (only because they had more time than myself. I helped in other ways).
    Sorry, I misunderstood. Yes, ESEs can be quite helpful this way especially when they themselves are not under personal stress.

    a.k.a. I/O

  14. #14
    Haikus
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    367
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    That sux.

  15. #15

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    the Mom is not ESE. My ESE friend replied to his post saying how he can help. In fact it was both my ESE cousin and sister who took care of my dying cousin (only because they had more time than myself. I helped in other ways).
    Are you so Delta, that you don't need (to offer) verbal assurances?

    I don't really agree that some people are just so and need no such things. Unless they have autism or something, then maybe they're just being lazy. Maybe the "ESE" are the only people that gave a damn.

  16. #16
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Singu View Post
    Are you so Delta, that you don't need (to offer) verbal assurances?

    I don't really agree that some people are just so and need no such things. Unless they have autism or something, then maybe they're just being lazy. Maybe the "ESE" are the only people that gave a damn.
    Yes no verbal assurance needed
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  17. #17

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Yes no verbal assurance needed
    And you wonder why you can't write beautiful expressions?

  18. #18
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Singu View Post
    And you wonder why you can't write beautiful expressions?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  19. #19

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Well you know the ironic thing is that the reason why people can write beautiful expressions, is because they thought about how you would feel if you read it.

  20. #20

    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    12
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Singu, you gotta rmmbr that INFjs by nature having feelings that are only noticeable in their negative manifestations because their own feelings inherently depreciate the object. I do think that she is just guessing because she knows that her friend is INTj. It is normal to want to feel loved, especially if youre gonna die sooner than later. Fe dual seeking is more in the moment, be it happy or sad, high or drunk, be the objective emotion with me! Be extra! It might be hard to relate if she wasn't familiar with cancer, but it sounds like she is, so maybe there's more to it (as always with Deltas (lol)).

  21. #21
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,594
    Mentioned
    592 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Singu View Post
    Well you know the ironic thing is that the reason why people can write beautiful expressions, is because they thought about how you would feel if you read it.
    I gave him love.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  22. #22

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,605
    Mentioned
    261 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    What stage is the cancer Maritsa? Is there any hope/chance he will survive?

  23. #23
    ouronis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    TIM
    ref to ptr to self
    Posts
    1,312
    Mentioned
    61 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    If I had something as serious as cancer I would feel terrible if someone didn't say anything about it to me, but I'd soldier through it as needed.

    Luckily, I don't see that happening. My problem would probably be too much attention.

  24. #24

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,238
    Mentioned
    225 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cactagon View Post
    Singu, you gotta rmmbr that INFjs by nature having feelings that are only noticeable in their negative manifestations because their own feelings inherently depreciate the object.
    Or it could be that she's making a choice to act in that way.

    People can make a choice to change their behavior in whatever ways that they want.

  25. #25

    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    12
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I mean...if youre jus gonna flat out call her bitchy, that idea certainly didnt come from me!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •