I think aster's father is SLI. SLI's have this weird introverted focused stare, like they are focusing on something that they can see but you might not. Sort of like they are looking at a bench or a dresser and are seeing the drawings of it, prior to building or modifying it themselves. It is creative Te coupled with leading Si, IMO.
I also think that @aster's mother is IEE-Fi. She seems to have gotten more self-confident with age (if that is her in the last picture) and the stability that comes with life with an SLI.
You two are wrong and hopefully. He’s LSI
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
LIE-Ni 9w8 sp/so is an atypical combination (the mainstream 9w8 is SLI like Araz), but that's Aster's dad's type no questions asked...not enough spotlight energy in the eyes for LSE-Si. Although in the one-dimensional enneagram typology universe, nines are in the 4, 5, 9 withdrawn triad, it's not entirely accurate to call them withdrawn the way that fours and fives are withdrawn...the nine gestalt presents as leisurely, so even when withdrawn doesn't appear selective or avoidant just laid back....in contrast to four and five, the nine's leisurely gestalt can run on the cognition of any socionics type.
mAYbE LSI
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
SLI
Looks N.
Hah! I disagree that she looks that different and I honestly thought it was obviously the same woman... 42 years in between the pictures, or close to that, presumably? She's gorgeous! In the wedding picture like a doll, and now just a terrific looking pretty lady. Beautiful.
I think there's a good chance for she to be alpha SF, likely SEI. Your description fits in, imo.
I don't see much reason to type her as IEE honestly.
I’m leaning more on SEE for your mom. So relationship of supervision. It's just incredible how long they've been able to stay married in this relationship dynamic. @Eliza Thomason any ideas?
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 04-10-2019 at 04:41 AM.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I think it’s so easy to discount relations we don’t see as perfect or that seem stressful. Relationships can also change and grow given time. Commitment is a powerful force.
So my parents are supervision relations as I’ve mentioned (SLI—LIE). They will have been married 45 years this August. My mom supervises my dad. After they initially were in love/infatuated, first part of their marriage, my mom was really unhappy and critical of my dad, though he has always put her on a pedestal and really revered her. She always felt he was not living up to his potential to say the least, and a lot of what he did upset her. She was really depressed for years about their marriage. They almost broke up many times. Once my dad told her he was leaving because: “I’m a good man, and I don’t deserve to be treated like this.” Eventually my dad started drinking to handle the stress, and he often spent the weekend days away with friends after having promised to stay home out of avoidance of her “negativity,” which only made her case against him stronger. At one point they separated, my dad living in his car and my mom telling us they were really getting a divorce. I think it was classic supervision, and most people would’ve parted ways.
But something interesting happened. My dad realized his problems were destroying his family, quit drinking, and my mom began to forgive him for his mistakes (some real, a lot imposed by her being his supervisor) and she started to accept him for who he was/is (mostly)... and things got considerably better between them. Now, they say they love each other more than ever - which I do believe, because they do things together all the time, like go on errands together, take their dogs for long walks, and just spend quality time together. My mom still feels frustrated by stuff my dad does but she has learned to keep her complaints and criticism to a minimum because she says she has always known it was the root of their problems and that she has matured. If you interviewed her about him she’d still have something a bit critical to say about almost everything he does but in a humorous way perhaps. She is also pretty nervous about my dad’s business/work but enjoys spending the money that he happily doles out. They very rarely fight now though and have learned how to make up pretty quickly if they do. Honestly it’s pretty heartwarming to see. Sad it has taken them decades to get along but they have made it work for them.
Edit: She is a Normalizing type and he is a Harmonizing type.
I'm framing this as a page from my life. Except my SLI ex and I didn't stay married and I moved on. Otherwise, it is astounding evidence that Socionics ITR's work out in very similar ways.
Once, after we were divorced, my ex and I were sitting in a restaurant and I told her I was looking to date again, and she said, "Why not consider me?", which absolutely floored me. I mean, she walked out, so we are Done and Gone. Forever, no second chances. I thought she must be delusional.
I'm a Dominant type. Maybe that accounts for the different outcome.
Ah the commonality of LIE and SLI relationships
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Weird. But you’re right. I never noticed it before, but she does seem to look more confident in pics now than in younger pictures... I think the reason for that might have to do something with the fact that when she was a little girl she chipped one of her top front teeth on monkey bars. She didn’t get it fixed until her mid 20’s, late 30’s(?) But she told me it made her really insecure growing up.
I’ll be taking the pics down by the end of the day. Which is in abt 12 hrs where I’m at.
Last edited by Aster; 04-10-2019 at 05:06 PM.
I’ve considered SEI for my mom, but I have a really hard time seeing her as an introvert. I’ve never considered SEE for her. My sister I’m pretty sure is SEE (for comparison, she is in the 3rd pic). Alpha SF makes a lot more sense, imo.
Short uncaffeinated description: She likes shopping, fashion. Never was into cooking but she likes eating out a lot at resturaunts. She can talk on the phone for hours about random things, we should do this, you should do that... and I’m like mom, chill out, one thing at a time. You are getting way ahead of yourself. She’s a very caring and giving person, and she has a lot of anxious energy. Like she can’t sit down. She is really ADD like. She takes her time doing things, which tends to frustrate my sister and I and is very often late everywhere. She’ll start talking to random strangers and sometimes, IMO, says too much. Prob where I get it from, BUT, she’s worse than me about it. She’s an incredibly nice and considerate person, but she is also a bit of a secret snob. lol. She talks a lot about who to associate with and who to not, but believes one should be nice to everyone. She’s not all that judgemental. When she dislikes people I don’t feel like there is much conviction to it like I get from Fi types.
Last edited by Aster; 04-10-2019 at 05:09 PM.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
@aster I could see your mom as a prettier version of my ESE mother-in-law who is a very take charge lady.
I think she didn't want to divorce you but she wanted to live alone again, then you asked for divorce and she probably thought you didn't love her after all, so she obviously had to agreed on divorce. That's the idea always come to my mind when reading about your ex.
Sensors often need their own space.
Well, that certainly could be the case. It makes a lot of sense, especially coming from someone who vibes almost exactly like her and since I, myself, have no idea why she left. She never gave me the same answer twice when I asked her why she moved out, and while I never stopped loving her, I found her increasing isolation hard to take. Plus, she stopped wanting sex. For years.
I didn't want to divorce her. I thought I'd never find anyone else of her quality and might never, ever have sex again. But I knew that if I stayed married to her, I was certain to never have sex again. Lol.
Well, now wait a minute.
So you think she had to agree to a divorce if she thought I didn't love her? I actually disagree with that. For one thing, I think she knew very well that I still loved her. When I married her, I thought it was forever. It took me about one year to finally decide to get a divorce. I was afraid that when I broached the subject, she'd collapse or something. Instead, she was incredibly happy.
Personally, I think that yes, she wanted her own space. But mostly, I think she wanted to take our investment money out of my hands and put it safely into her retirement, where I could not spend it. (I don't think she ever thought that I was any good at making money. That's Supervision for you. Delusional bias in the face of facts.) When it came time to divide the assets, it turned out that she had diverted a fairly large amount of money into an account that I was not aware of. This is a girl who looks out for her own feathered nest.
Well, now she has her own place and a cat. I hope she's happy with her choices.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-11-2019 at 02:54 AM.
I'd agree with SLI.
Either no subtype or Si subtype is likely.
Enneagram-wise, he seems 9w8 and Sp instinct first.
LIE-Ni
This description reminds me of my ESE-Si mom and IEE aunt. The lateness applies better to my aunt, but everything else applies to my mom, except she is not as ADD. Maybe it is a slight difference of Enneagram fixes (my mom could be 6w5 fix, whereas your mom seems to have 7 somewhere). But based on your description, ESE sounds pretty likely for your mom.
I do respect k4s approuch, his typings are intriguing and I do pick up on his observations which are very object foscused and I’m totally cool woth that.
In this case, I don’t see a ENTj even if they are more intuitive harmonized.
This guy just looks private and has been that way his whole life. ENTjs are somewhat sociable amd driven to put themselves out there.
SLI Te is creative right? Its way more background, the little detail in the day to projects.
You even say he is mysterious, which is something SLI tend to propagate their whole lives. Like what I’m saying here is not a pet theory, its been written several times in the Russian literature and if you can recognize this archtype you will know what I’m talking about.
I see this written all over this gentleman’s photos. I see a person routed in sensing and it looks introverted and his working hands projects is something I can generally speaking associate with SLIs
For that reason alone I would VI him as a SLI.
Ultimately this is only just information for aster. Take my opinion with a grain of salt. I could be wrong and that’s fine.
As far as maritsa comment about him saying wjat’s on your face and that being linked with a sensing thing, yeah sure sometimes.
Sometimes it just means you are straight shooter which is also Te, but you know what? lot’s of people, lots of sociotypes are straight shooters, same with all kinds of people.
But if he has been like that his whole life, kind of known for it, I am going to say that is a delta st thing and I’m not getting a whole lot of extroverted vibes.
As another little piece of evidence, look at aster herself, def a delta NF thats balanced, had a family young, HARMONIZED, that happens in quadra families.
Not going to comment on your parents ltr. Dual pairs dont always magically just fall in live and stay together with no problem forever and ever...!
What is means is that the IE channels are complimentary. The facets of reality click by virtue of their qualities. You have to look at it as de-personalized facts and habits and adaptations to the ecology of information elements driving people, like forces of nature expanded through out time of that individual animal and their environment. Environment in this instance means their physical environment, their relationship environments, their egoic thought structures, the scaffolding of their habits, basically their circles of their biosphere.
Socionics cant perdict and cant explain why things fall apart in totality because it just can’t, there are so many more things going.
Its more about the canvas that the painting is drawn on. And the painting is everything else, even though the canvas has a texture, just as socionics is the texture one’s ecology, world as it unfolds, is painted on. Just like the body you are born into is somewhat, for the most part, set before birth.
At any rate you are something so much than your spciotype, or your personality, or your body, or your awareness....
so for these reasons a good intertype relationship doesnt mean shit. Its not going to matter, supposedly according to me, this thread OP is a SLI dude and Mom is a IEE if, there are problem areas in life, such as stressors, loss of feelings, different goals, people move apart (Fi types know this very well, but so can anybody).
socionics is just going to comment on how IE forces complement each other and you can extrapolate that into the real world ‘stuff’ you see in front of you. In Si-Ne the forum is filled with that looks like and what it means and how it can be explained.
As far as some of the comments in this thread realize that the forum has become an open bar and and semi-anonmyzed group therapy and exploration, so you get a lot of people manuavering their narratives, which is just kind of what human people do.
Right I type your parents duals from VI.
ESE will end up baby sitting (as they believe they need to) with strong Fe and I’m doubtful a marriage would last long across the Fe-Te divide supervision ring. Across Ti-Fe and/or Te-Fi it might.
The reason I say this about Te with Fe is that I think by virtue of their properties Fe and Te are to much vying for control of awareness. They are to ‘big’. To many cooks in the kitchen and you cant do both and you cant have people ‘wanting’ (socionics type wanting, which isnt something you personally choose its a depersonalize nature of your makeup) something from or in reality that by nessesity cant focus on the other big extroverted iE
Te and Fe are just to important and to big to be running on the same program together.
I dont think this supervision ring. Is succesful long term. There would a lot of disappointments and concessions.
edit: cant do both well at the same time. You can do both just not with high dimensions and function blocks yada yada.
I’m saying your parents are not a supervision couple. These type of couples dont last for decades. Just think about it.
Last edited by Finaplex; 04-11-2019 at 04:40 PM.
I type both you and your mom ESFP
NAPOLEONKA - dazzling, notable, energetic, very specific woman with a deep sense of self-respect. The form of face is more frequent rounded, although there are as always exceptions.
She holds herself confidently and speaks somewhat ironically. She loves to joke, laughs in a friendly manner while speaking, which producers the impression that she feels herself familiar everywhere. Her tone of voice is frequently low, with a bit of a coarseness.
Her clothing, however modest she is, always fits her well and looks completely appropriate. She knows how to dress fitting to the situation. For informal situations, she can select sufficiently catchy, even extravagant look.
Education may be an issue for girls of this type. They do not like to solve problems, or to perform experiments. However, they usually have a penchant for literature and usually write well. School life seethes around them; they know how to and love to be in the center of attention. They are true ringleaders, reckless and lively, always ready to come up with all kind of possible activities and entertainment. Not a single birthday or school holiday passes without them. Personal life often occupies them much more than studies, in particular, much more than memorizing multiplication table. Nevertheless, because they have strong will, these girls can make themselves study and do homework and get outstanding results in any subject. Ambition and drive for prestige direct them and make some of them become the best.
In exactly the same manner, they try to be the best at sports. Girls of this type frequently take up figure skating, gymnastics, and tennis. Strong and confident, they can fully commit themselves to training, aiming to achieve top results.
NAPOLEONKA is a real embodiment of archetype of hostess. She realistically behaves like one on entrusted to her territory - be it her work place or her house. If she is among your guests, it is practically impossible to not notice her. Somehow, in the course of celebration, she completely naturally takes the management of the holiday into her hands, directing the merriment into the needed course. Moreover she does this calmly and confidently, without excess emotions.
To come into good favor of this girl, one needs to possess a few qualities that not all men have. It is not necessary to appear prestigious or dandy. Main thing is to appear clever! Preferably even very clever! The pragmatically disposed man with an encyclopaedic knowledge in most different areas, who, moreover, is capable of forecasting events, is the kind of person who will be appealing to this girl. She is not given to naive romantic impulses, and therefore values a critical mind. Women of this type are ingenious, lively and resourceful. They are optimistic, but at the same time relate to everything with a good dose of skepticism.
Not only does NAPOLEONKA usually have quick reaction time and speaks rapidly, she is also very active. She needs to be simultaneously everywhere, to envelop with her attention and presence a great many of her friends and acquaintances, family members and relatives. She must also regularly attend secular gatherings, exhibitions and theaters. A characteristic method for NAPOLEONKAs to get into a theater is to find at the last moment someone who will take them in, or simply catch a good moment.
A story from real life: "NAPOLEONKA was coming back from a vacation with her friends. In the summer, on the train, it is hot and dirty, so all of them ended up looked soiled. Coming off the train onto the platform, NAPOLEONKA - a big fan of ballet - suddenly learns that today is the last day of the tour of Roland Petit, and, despite everything, she decides to go there. Friends attempt to reason with her, since her look was in no way suitable for entrance to Bolshoi Theater; besides a short summer dress she had sandals on of different color - one red, another dark blue.
Nevertheless, precisely in this form she appears under the columns of the Bolshoi Theater, tanned, unwashed, without make-up. All of the tickets have been sold out, of course, but by one of the columns there is a foreigner waiting for someone. She comes up to him and immediately asks in English, "Excuse me, sir, do you have by any chance a spare ticket?". And, it's a miracle! - he timidly takes a ticket from his pocket. She pays him for the ticket and hops away. She then goes into the bathroom, washes her feet and wipes them with a handkerchief, and heads for her seat since the performance will begin any minute now. Since the public in Bolshoi Theater is always of good upbringing, soon everyone stops looking at her. But during intermission, she was faced with the question of whether to remain sited or go out and mingle with the public. She decided in favor of the later, and went for a walk across the Bolshoi Theater, her image reflecting in all mirrors and shocking the public.
When later in the evening she came back home, her mother asked her where she has been, and upon hearing her answer, she exclaimed: "With this kind of look?!" to which NAPOLEONKA replied: "But this was French ballet! Last day! Does it really matter?!"
If you married this type of her, do not hope that she will sit house under the lock. She is the prima donna, who must shine out there in the world, and not spend her days in the apron by the stove. She carries out chores quickly, but conscientiously, without getting stuck on them, without going deeply into detail, and without being taken into excesses. She tries to limit housework to its bare minimum. Main thing for her is to obtain the result and to be done quickly. She is not inclined to become excessively involved in house chores. At the same time, NAPOLEONKA is sufficiently practical, knows how to take responsibility onto her shoulders and is not afraid of this.
She brings up her children with love and humor, by being friends with them. They love to laugh and to fool about together during their leisure time. They willingly develop their children, encourage them to read artistic literature, take them out to theater performances and museums. But to do lessons together for them is sufficiently difficult; therefore they attempt to avoid this experience by all means.
NAPOLEONKA knows how to handle responsibilities, with the pleasure takes on work where it is necessary to do PR functions before large groups of people. She can be the owner of a small company, for example, a tourist agency, work on the television, be a journalist or a teacher of humanitarian disciplines, a sport trainer, in PR and HR. In short , everywhere where it is necessary to competently and representatively establish contact with the people. One should not place NAPOLEONKA in positions where no one will see her. With her strong orientation towards prestige, it will be difficult for her resign to such a role.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html