Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: EIE and LSE relationship

  1. #1
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default EIE and LSE relationship

    @golden would you be able to add any information from your experience?

    This is from an EIE friend: "I have been on a few dates with an ESTJ man. We get along very well, the conversation flows and he makes me laugh a lot. He now wants to lock it in and call me his gf but I have a couple of reservations. I don’t think he would ever put me, and what’s important to me, above himself. For example, I don’t think I would be able to rely on him, say if I invited him to meet my friends - he would bail in favour of something he wants to do more (eg watch sport or whatever). I also feel like he is very discerning when it comes to his friendships whereas I am friends with lots of different people - he wouldn’t approve of a lot of the people I consider as friends, including male friends I have. I also feel that he would not help someone just for the sake of helping them - he would brush it off as “not his business” - I have seen him do this before.
    So - that’s my side of things. But before I lay all this on him, I want to give him some examples of how I would irritate him / our values wouldn’t align as well - so he can see that this discussion isn’t just “Yeah we get along amazingly but I feel you are too uptight for me” - he can see that a relationship with me wouldn’t work for him either."
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  2. #2
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yeah like other EIE she's friends with lots of different people. I'm not sure how LSE would take onto that.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  3. #3
    MrsTortilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    California
    TIM
    ESI 468 sp/sx
    Posts
    456
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Is her typing accurate. Maybe he’s a more extroverted LSI?

  4. #4
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTortilla View Post
    Is her typing accurate. Maybe he’s a more extroverted LSI?
    her self typing is definitely accurate. I had her read this to confirm that it wasn't EII or any other Extrovert type. Yes she's definitely Fe base because of that very first sentence she said.
    http://www.socionics.com/advan/prof/enfj.htm

    ENFj [+] and [-]

    If your type is Ethical-Intuitive Extratim - ENFj (The Actor):

    The strongest aspect of your personality is your ability to experience strong feelings and emotions. You posses a complicated spiritual world packed with contrasts and contradictions. You will sacrifice many things for the sake of genuine, deep feelings. You have a very poetic nature that allows you to express your experiences in an extremely vivid manner. You have the intrinsic potential to be an orator, to captivate the attention of a large number of people. You are a clear-sighted and judicious person. You can easily sense potentially major crisis and know well what to do in order to avoid it. You often forewarn others about impending troubles. A sense of responsibility towards others is at the core of your personality. You are a person of principle.

    You are somewhat inflexible to change and therefore find it difficult to adapt in new societies. You can also show excessive formality during interaction causing you even more problems. You often have a great interest in economy and business matters. You are unsure in your aesthetic taste, especially where your appearance is concerned. You get suspicious of others opinions and advice concerning your appearance. You do not always pay as much attention to your health as you should. You can become so immersed in your work or interests that you can forget about following a healthy routine.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  5. #5
    MrsTortilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    California
    TIM
    ESI 468 sp/sx
    Posts
    456
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    her self typing is definitely accurate. I had her read this to confirm that it wasn't EII or any other Extrovert type. Yes she's definitely Fe base because of that very first sentence she said.
    http://www.socionics.com/advan/prof/enfj.htm

    ENFj [+] and [-]

    If your type is Ethical-Intuitive Extratim - ENFj (The Actor):

    The strongest aspect of your personality is your ability to experience strong feelings and emotions. You posses a complicated spiritual world packed with contrasts and contradictions. You will sacrifice many things for the sake of genuine, deep feelings. You have a very poetic nature that allows you to express your experiences in an extremely vivid manner. You have the intrinsic potential to be an orator, to captivate the attention of a large number of people. You are a clear-sighted and judicious person. You can easily sense potentially major crisis and know well what to do in order to avoid it. You often forewarn others about impending troubles. A sense of responsibility towards others is at the core of your personality. You are a person of principle.

    You are somewhat inflexible to change and therefore find it difficult to adapt in new societies. You can also show excessive formality during interaction causing you even more problems. You often have a great interest in economy and business matters. You are unsure in your aesthetic taste, especially where your appearance is concerned. You get suspicious of others opinions and advice concerning your appearance. You do not always pay as much attention to your health as you should. You can become so immersed in your work or interests that you can forget about following a healthy routine.
    Sorry I was actually asking if HIS LSE typing could be correct? She says they get along amazingly well. Maybe he’s really an LSI after all.

  6. #6
    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Second story
    TIM
    EIE
    Posts
    3,681
    Mentioned
    235 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    @golden would you be able to add any information from your experience?

    This is from an EIE friend: "I have been on a few dates with an ESTJ man. We get along very well, the conversation flows and he makes me laugh a lot. He now wants to lock it in and call me his gf but I have a couple of reservations. I don’t think he would ever put me, and what’s important to me, above himself. For example, I don’t think I would be able to rely on him, say if I invited him to meet my friends - he would bail in favour of something he wants to do more (eg watch sport or whatever). I also feel like he is very discerning when it comes to his friendships whereas I am friends with lots of different people - he wouldn’t approve of a lot of the people I consider as friends, including male friends I have. I also feel that he would not help someone just for the sake of helping them - he would brush it off as “not his business” - I have seen him do this before.
    So - that’s my side of things. But before I lay all this on him, I want to give him some examples of how I would irritate him / our values wouldn’t align as well - so he can see that this discussion isn’t just “Yeah we get along amazingly but I feel you are too uptight for me” - he can see that a relationship with me wouldn’t work for him either."
    It sounds plausibly EIE-LSE. My experience is that I didn’t feel I had enough influence over LSEs. They seemed impervious to my input even when they directly asked for it. In retrospect I now see I have had more influence than I thought. But I had to live with an ongoing feeling of dissatisfaction.

    Re what your friend said, LSE doesn’t loosen up much in response to me, and LSI does. The feeling that LSE should respond to and mirror Fe in a softening way that makes you feel you have the inside look at them probably has to do with being cued to the dual. Not loosening up doesn’t necessarily mean the LSE has a problem with the EIE, they just kind of witness it rather than enter the fray when it comes to Fe displays.

    LSE does seem to look for less stimulation from friendships, but I know one who will hang out with weird people when he isn’t working, if he’s offered the chance. He sees himself as stuffy and square and doesn’t really think he has much to offer poets and pure intellectuals (though that’s not true imo).

    Ime even if an LSE might think something is not their problem, I also think they can respect another person’s compassion and desire to help someone, and when I have directly said things like, “do you have any suggestions for how to help this member of our community, who is in need?” they have come through.

    LSEs can respect EIE. There can be mutual respect and some warmth, and learning, and some power struggles, too.

    If you have any specific questions, please let me know.
    LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”

    Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”

    LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”

  7. #7
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by golden View Post
    It sounds plausibly EIE-LSE. My experience is that I didn’t feel I had enough influence over LSEs. They seemed impervious to my input even when they directly asked for it. In retrospect I now see I have had more influence than I thought. But I had to live with an ongoing feeling of dissatisfaction.

    Re what your friend said, LSE doesn’t loosen up much in response to me, and LSI does. The feeling that LSE should respond to and mirror Fe in a softening way that makes you feel you have the inside look at them probably has to do with being cued to the dual. Not loosening up doesn’t necessarily mean the LSE has a problem with the EIE, they just kind of witness it rather than enter the fray when it comes to Fe displays.

    LSE does seem to look for less stimulation from friendships, but I know one who will hang out with weird people when he isn’t working, if he’s offered the chance. He sees himself as stuffy and square and doesn’t really think he has much to offer poets and pure intellectuals (though that’s not true imo).

    Ime even if an LSE might think something is not their problem, I also think they can respect another person’s compassion and desire to help someone, and when I have directly said things like, “do you have any suggestions for how to help this member of our community, who is in need?” they have come through.

    LSEs can respect EIE. There can be mutual respect and some warmth, and learning, and some power struggles, too.

    If you have any specific questions, please let me know.
    LSE are not asking for input they are using you as a sounding board to bounce ideas, emotions, thoughts and feelings off of to see how you'll react and whether or not you give good advice or bad advice, irregardless they'll take the aspects of or the parts of the answer they want to make their decisions. Or not use it to make their decisions depends on what you have to contribute but usually they use people as a sounding board. In telling you what they are going through they determine how they will solve their own problem.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  8. #8
    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Second story
    TIM
    EIE
    Posts
    3,681
    Mentioned
    235 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    LSE are not asking for input they are using you as a sounding board to bounce ideas, emotions, thoughts and feelings off of to see how you'll react and whether or not you give good advice or bad advice, irregardless they'll take the aspects of or the parts of the answer they want to make their decisions. Or not use it to make their decisions depends on what you have to contribute but usually they use people as a sounding board. In telling you what they are going through they determine how they will solve their own problem.
    That’s probably true, which is why I can see in retrospect I did have influence ... my ideas were taken on board and over time made a difference. I find Beta STs will not forget where they got the idea, though. They are more likely to show you how they are taking up your idea and say they are thinking about it, and if it helps them they will tell you. I didn’t get that feedback from LSEs, so it’s just different.
    LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”

    Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”

    LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”

  9. #9
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTortilla View Post
    Sorry I was actually asking if HIS LSE typing could be correct? She says they get along amazingly well. Maybe he’s really an LSI after all.
    yes he's definitely LSE because he is not receptive to her advice as golden clarified about LSE and EIE interactions
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  10. #10
    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Second story
    TIM
    EIE
    Posts
    3,681
    Mentioned
    235 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My last contribution here. I didn't see a need to question whether the people are LSE and EIE because I can't gauge that better than Sky from where I sit and the description is close enough that it works. More sensible to take it at face value.

    I find I can get along well with LSEs. We can fall into a similar rhythm pretty easily. It's easier to communicate in person than digitally, where we tend to talk past each other especially much. Getting along at that level doesn't mean the guy is LSI.

    I didn't address this:

    "So - that’s my side of things. But before I lay all this on him, I want to give him some examples of how I would irritate him / our values wouldn’t align as well - so he can see that this discussion isn’t just 'Yeah we get along amazingly but I feel you are too uptight for me' - he can see that a relationship with me wouldn’t work for him either."

    I would just say to this, I will be surprised if an LSE man "can see" that a relationship with the EIE won't work after her explaining "all this." What I think will happen is that his sensitive side will come out, he will seem wounded, the EIE will feel she was too harsh, and she will find it harder than ever to extricate herself from a relationship that is not very suitable, even if it is not unpleasant. (Whatever his affect--stoic, sad, argumentative, dismissive--he will not just cave in to what she says.)

    If the EIE wants to end this, she will have to be willing to be very firm about ending it even if the LSE cannot really understand it. She is using Fe and Ni to model and judge the long-range picture. That doesn't hit home for him. He will probably feel like if things seem good now, there's no reason they can't be equally good in two, five, or even ten years. She will have to resist his logical arguments for why the relationship should work. It's almost like she's describing a scenario where she will be asking permission to break it off. That's not a position of strength for her to work from.

    ETA: There's an off chance something in his background will cause him to just take her saying no as a done deal and abruptly withdraw, but I think that's less likely and he still won't know what she was talking about.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by golden; 04-07-2019 at 03:17 AM.
    LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”

    Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”

    LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”

  11. #11
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,046
    Mentioned
    86 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    These relationships have great potential for achieving many goals, and mutual understanding is usually better than for dual-relationships. Unfortunately, they both compete for center stage and want to set the agenda. If they're able find a balanced sharing of the spotlight, this relationship can become very close and long-lasting.......

    a.k.a. I/O

  12. #12
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    These relationships have great potential for achieving many goals, and mutual understanding is usually better than for dual-relationships. Unfortunately, they both compete for center stage and want to set the agenda. If they're able find a balanced sharing of the spotlight, this relationship can become very close and long-lasting.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    Rebel to be honest I have never seen a celebrity couple of this pairing before. So, I don't have any examples from both real life and that life to compare and maybe listen to interviews to look at dynamics of the relationship. I just have one question, why not? Why don't I see any ESTJ married to ENFJ and in a potentially long lasting relationships with them?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  13. #13
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,046
    Mentioned
    86 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Rebel to be honest I have never seen a celebrity couple of this pairing before. So, I don't have any examples from both real life and that life to compare and maybe listen to interviews to look at dynamics of the relationship. I just have one question, why not? Why don't I see any ESTJ married to ENFJ and in a potentially long lasting relationships with them?
    I never trust my typing of celebrities so I defer to your observations. I only have one example of a long-time married couple (they're really go,go,go) who seem to have different circles of friends and hobbies but unite solidly for their children; I've seen quite a few in project teams - most all worked very well together but then they had set goals and supervisors - one pair I remember did sling poop at one another but I was told that the ESTj slept with the other's wife. I've noticed an ease at which they seem to communicate and how they're able to easily find each others niche and divvy up the work - when left to their own devices, they seem to cooperate and not tread in each others pasture but the dynamic changes sometimes when they're in company......

    a,k.a. I/O

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    9,865
    Mentioned
    895 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    EIE annoy by Fe
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  15. #15
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    24,546
    Mentioned
    588 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    EIE annoy by Fe
    You mean you would be annoyed by strong feelings?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •