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Thread: How do ILIs/INTps survive in real world

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    Default How do ILIs/INTps survive in real world

    Hello, i'm obviously ILI, and my subtype is probably ILI-Ni. Let me tell you a bit about myself. Most of a time i spend in my head, creating stories, reliving past events, modifying them for not so good outcomes to become really cool. Or just imagine... what if i suddenly got popular? What would i do (i know this is not possible, but it's sometime fun, to live as smth else, in my head of course). I don't really think about it, i just find myself in the middle of thought what i'm gonna do 5 years later - my job(i'm university student rn) , my finances, clothes, stuff i bought and everything is really positive (but people think my thoughts are always negative, sometimes i just took attention more on the bad side, to be prepared for the bad outcome, you don't need to prepare for the good one. My motto is to think the worst and if worst happens you wouldn't be surprised, if not - you always happy ). Oh, and i hate materialism, just in case you are wondering. And i love comfort, maybe a little too much. And i hate ppl, sometimes same type as me, not showing any emotions, or being hard to talk, mostly men are like this and these people annoy me so much (well, i'm a girl)

    So back to the theme... I don't know if it's just me, but really strong Ni (being in another world all the time) and really weak Se (having no will to do things) it's giving me difficulty to... live and do normal things in life. As most of N people i forget to eat, and it's normal, being immersed into something that you forget everything around you. Oh and i rarely am interested in smth that is real life, mostly i am immersed in games, series, dramas, anime, stuff, books, webtoons, mangas... I have a lot of in my mind, i'm gonna work out, i'm gonna clean my room, i'm gonna take care of my skin, but am i doing any of this in real life? No. And living with my sister LII and some ILE dude as flatmates doesn't help, they say, maybe you wanna to do something? Yes, sure, i say, i want to do but i just can't. I can't say i'm not doing nothing at all, i start doing things, like working out, one day i'm running on the elliptical trainer, another day something interrupts it and it's week and i did nothing AGAIN. Not to mention cleaning, in my head i think, i gonna wash dishes after i eat, it's the easiest, but then i have smth i wanna do after in my head and i forget and then i plan to do it later, later until mountain of dirty dishes piles up and i have to suffer cleaning it all at once.

    Do any of ILI also struggle with these things? How to make yourself do stuff?

    I also want to do fun stuff, not alpha fun, but... maybe smth active, like indoor rock climbing, or archery. But i only imagine. Do you know any ILIs like me? Let's talk

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Make sure you don't work for someone who uses you. Go for highest paying jobs. You are worth it. My poor mother worked like a dog for people who paid her very little money.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I don't know if i'm the only one in my quadra like that, but money it's not the most important thing for me. Maybe i'm naive, but i want to do something i at least like as a job, no matter if i'm not gonna get a lot of money. People had to spend soooo much of their life working i want at least enjoy a bit of that time.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veromoni View Post
    I don't know if i'm the only one in my quadra like that, but money it's not the most important thing for me. Maybe i'm naive, but i want to do something i at least like as a job, no matter if i'm not gonna get a lot of money. People had to spend soooo much of their life working i want at least enjoy a bit of that time.
    You are not the only one in the Quadra for whom money is not the most important thing. I care about money only until I have enough of it to pay my minimal bills, and then I don’t think about it after that.

    I, also, have always been interested in work primarily as a kind of learning experience, rather than as a way to make money.

    However, because we have both strong Te (efficiency) and Ni (future), the ILI’s and LIE’s that I know all tend to generate surplus cash and set it aside in some investment, and eventually, one day, we wake up and find that we have stacked up a lot of it.

    On the other hand, since we have weak Se (action) and Fi (values), we are equally likely to wake up one day and find that we have wasted our lives in unimportant pursuits, or failed to do the things that are really important to us.

    We need to be very, very careful about that, because our natural talents don’t help us here. It is something that our duals can help us with.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-29-2019 at 04:37 AM.

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    Try harder. Take baby steps, form good habits.

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    Things will change when you'll be "forced" to be more involved with the real world.

    If you wish to force it find a physical job (part-time, don't go overboard) it may help you be more connected.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Over 10 years ago, an ILI (a competent engineer who worked for me) decided to buy a heritage house that he planned to modernize during his retirement. Today, he's still sitting on and eating off packing crates and the walls have no drywall yet; he has one set of bathroom fixtures installed and those that he didn't install are growing old-fashioned in their original boxes. He has lots of money so I wondered why he didn't hire someone to finish the house but he seems to be content with simply having visions of what could be......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    I relate to almost all of what you say.

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    in real world T types care lesser about emotions and people
    you are closer to F type

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    Honorary Ballsack
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    ^Ignore. This is usually the opinion of thinking dominants, especially of the ST variety, who have a hard time relating to and understanding intuitive thinkers.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    ILIs survive quite well. If you have problems it might be non-type related. Put your strengths to some use. Study and get a job. All NT types are privileged in today's society, because they can handle higher education.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    in real world T types care lesser about emotions and people
    you are closer to F type
    Sounds like you referring MBTI typology. But MBTI has flaws, if it's hard for person to read others feelings, understand them, or if they have difficulty expressing emotions, that doesn't mean they doesn't care. I wish i were F type, it would be so much easier to understand what other people want from me, not to accidentally hurt someone by saying some nonsense or so on. I am so amazed by others who can read people minds (understand feelings) because sometimes i'm clueless.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    ILIs survive quite well. If you have problems it might be non-type related. Put your strengths to some use. Study and get a job. All NT types are privileged in today's society, because they can handle higher education.
    I don't see myself as privileged. And i don't really think that S and F types can't handle higher education. If you interested in something, you always can do it. I knew one ESI, she was really smart, understood physics really well, but decided not to study in university although her grades were good. Why? Because she prefers psychical work, sitting in one place for hours annoys her. It was her decision, she totally could handle higher education.
    And one of my group-mates are SEI type, shes really smart too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Veromoni View Post
    I don't see myself as privileged. And i don't really think that S and F types can't handle higher education. If you interested in something, you always can do it. I knew one ESI, she was really smart, understood physics really well, but decided not to study in university although her grades were good. Why? Because she prefers psychical work, sitting in one place for hours annoys her. It was her decision, she totally could handle higher education.
    And one of my group-mates are SEI type, shes really smart too.
    Oh i forgot to mention something. My difficulty is, that me being strong Ni, my mind wanders a lot, when i'm trying to listen to lecture, i really try hard to focus, but i suddenly start to think about something non-related to that. When i'm in the planet Earth again, i don't know about what lecturer is talking anymore and later i catch on . ST types are probably more suited for studying if we really want to choose types for that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Veromoni View Post
    I don't see myself as privileged. And i don't really think that S and F types can't handle higher education. If you interested in something, you always can do it. I knew one ESI, she was really smart, understood physics really well, but decided not to study in university although her grades were good. Why? Because she prefers psychical work, sitting in one place for hours annoys her. It was her decision, she totally could handle higher education.
    And one of my group-mates are SEI type, shes really smart too.
    I know two ESI’s with PhD’s. One in Physics, one in Astrophysics, and both work or have worked in Universities.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veromoni View Post
    I don't see myself as privileged. And i don't really think that S and F types can't handle higher education. If you interested in something, you always can do it. I knew one ESI, she was really smart, understood physics really well, but decided not to study in university although her grades were good. Why? Because she prefers psychical work, sitting in one place for hours annoys her. It was her decision, she totally could handle higher education.
    And one of my group-mates are SEI type, shes really smart too.
    You can always find exceptions, but as as types NTs are privileged, because higher education suits them better. I am not saying that you are priviledged as a person though, only as a type, that is only a part of the personality. To say that you can do anything that you are interested in is simply false. People's talents differ alot.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Veromoni View Post
    Oh i forgot to mention something. My difficulty is, that me being strong Ni, my mind wanders a lot, when i'm trying to listen to lecture, i really try hard to focus, but i suddenly start to think about something non-related to that. When i'm in the planet Earth again, i don't know about what lecturer is talking anymore and later i catch on . ST types are probably more suited for studying if we really want to choose types for that.
    I don't think this is necessarily type related, if you have interest in the subject you will focus, perhaps it's a problem related to your choice of subject?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Activities that require the use Se are helpful in the long run, stepping out of your comfortzone at a leisurely pace. Socializing with different kinds of people. Doing this prompted personal growth, for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    You can always find exceptions, but as as types NTs are privileged, because higher education suits them better. I am not saying that you are priviledged as a person though, only as a type, that is only a part of the personality. To say that you can do anything that you are interested in is simply false. People's talents differ alot.
    On the other side of the coin is that even though they might pull through academics they might fall on very uncertain grounds [like looking for endlessly some money to support research and so on and then.... years after still hanging on as underpaid researchers they need to take drastic actions]. There are far better networkers. So the issue in the end of course is network.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    To say that you can do anything that you are interested in is simply false. People's talents differ alot.
    But if person likes one subject or type of activity so much, doing research, practicing, learning little by little and getting better makes them good at it. For example, i'm shit at acting, but if i really wanted to do something with acting and having enough ambition i think i would succeed eventually. It's matter how much effort you put in. And with things that person is not good at makes them loose interest fast. People are tend to be interested more in things they are better at.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    in real world T types care lesser about emotions and people
    you are closer to F type
    God help you. You make the most incorrect stereotypes; I can't stand being around people for long. I am now T type everybody!!!! yay!
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Find something you like to do that's hard for most people and valuable to them.. Then practice that until it stops paying off.

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    (For transparency, my type is most likely some INTx. Not sure which one just yet.)

    Get better at Te, lol. You value functions that are perhaps the most useful for the corporate world (Te, Se), so you are at no disadvantage socionics-wise.

    Here's some relatively more useful advice. Personally, I find it difficult to maintain regular routines. Somewhat embarrassingly, I used to not brush my teeth at night since I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom and do it. Likewise, maintaining regular exercise routines are very difficult since I just don't care enough about those things. However, they are important. So, I started small. I forced myself to brush my teeth twice a day every day with no exceptions. I then began doing 50 pushups in the morning and at night every day with no exceptions. I then began systematizing other important things like drinking water, eating healthy, and shit like that. While I'm not nearly as active as some Se ego type, I've begun streamlining my life and making small things more efficient. The mentality has led me to want to change other aspects of my life that are not as efficient as they can be. For example, if I'm studying for an hour something that could have been understood in 30 mins, I force myself to figure out ways to not get as distracted or something.

    EDIT: despite ths last paragraph not being that optimistic, I think it still may be too optimistic or at least beyond what I'm capable of. I have begun brushing teeth and doing pushups, but I do admit that there are days I skip out due to laziness and that I'm not really applying this to other aspects of life. Energy is hard to come by and the benefit doesn't seem worth it in a lot of instances.

    The key for me was to start very small and then continuously do that small thing until it became commonplace/habitual. Then, add something else and continue to do that regularly until it becomes commonplace. And so on and so forth. When your life becomes streamlined you begin to dislike all the wasted time and inefficiencies so you remove those. The most important thing is to not do too many things at the same time or add in another routine prior to one settling. Otherwise, you'll feel more inclined to break one routine since you've "done enough by following through on the others today".

    As far as I know (I'm in uni too, so take this with a grain of salt), surviving in the real world is about grinding out tasks that you may or may not want to do for some reward, usually financial compensation. That means not screwing around and wasting time. It takes common sense (which ILIs are usually good at) since you have to not be stupid with who you deal with or which tasks you decide to take up (although you often have no choice here). With time and luck, promotions come and a greater reward comes with perhaps greater effort put in.

    I too would like to do something I love (that also makes a lot of money). However, the world often doesn't work like that and to end up doing something that you love often means do a lot of things first. It's too often I see people throw away their lives because they wanted to "do what they love" and they end up hating what they love because they can't survive off it. Don't be stupid with this stuff. Be pragmatic about it and realize what's needed to be done for basic comfort first.
    Last edited by FarDraft; 04-09-2019 at 04:39 PM.
    ----- FarDraft, 2020

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Over 10 years ago, an ILI (a competent engineer who worked for me) decided to buy a heritage house that he planned to modernize during his retirement. Today, he's still sitting on and eating off packing crates and the walls have no drywall yet; he has one set of bathroom fixtures installed and those that he didn't install are growing old-fashioned in their original boxes. He has lots of money so I wondered why he didn't hire someone to finish the house but he seems to be content with simply having visions of what could be......

    a.k.a. I/O
    I am very similar to this. However, if I have somebody with the complementary ethical functions, I get stuff done. I do not consider myself to be ILI (I feel like I am a static type) but I do resemble Balzac quite a bit. He needs a dual.
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    I am very similar to this. However, if I have somebody with the complementary ethical functions, I get stuff done. I do not consider myself to be ILI (I feel like I am a static type) but I do resemble Balzac quite a bit. He needs a dual.
    Once started, LIIs tend to want to complete things (often obsessively) - to get things off their plates as quick as is possible for a perfectionist; however, they often hesitate in starting anything and sometimes will give all kinds of reasons not to start. ILIs seem to get excited about something new and are usually quick to start regardless of the risks, but frequently lose inertia or become indecisive during the project; they're the ones more likely to leave things incomplete or pending. In a work environment, this is a key distinguishing feature between the two types; they can make a strong, short-term partnership with the ILI being the catalyst - but the ILI will sometimes need to be taken off the project in its final phases to ensure a peaceful, timely completion.........

    a.k.a. I/O

    Edit: ILIs seem to want immediate closure on any perceived threats and they'll work tirelessly to remove them - be that to ego, beliefs, position, reputation or people close; they seem to have to be convinced that producing a timely product is their only chance of removing a personal threat. Without something critical hanging over them, output seems to take a backseat to input.......
    Last edited by Rebelondeck; 04-04-2019 at 02:40 PM.

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    idk ime ILIs are pretty realistic. Their problems come more from... not being able to use Fe manipulation effectively to get the outcome they want. I do think male ILIs might be more like this than the female ones tho.

    You sound more SEI or even IEI to me personally...

    'I love comfort maybe a little too much' weirdly does not sound at all like a gamma thing to me lol.

    Anyway I have had similiar issues to you with 'facing the harsh cruel real world' or whatever and finding more peace to live in a video game alternate reality with the other omega male losers, but I've found having a support network to be the most helpful thing. I was at my happiest when I was in a cycle of, exploring/facing the world and then talking about how it made me feel- but the cycle was in balance. Even if you are Fe polr, u still need cheerleaders in life that tell you 'you can do it.' To survive the real world, often times you just have to be in it. It's like fears naturally shrink as you simply face them. And over time with enough practice you will feel as comfortable in the 'real world' as you are in your bed watching anime. I mean back when doing so was a source of comfort. Now that's getting stale for you I think and something about you is pushing you to evolve- so just run with it. You will be okay. =)

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    A timid-looking shy marshmallow of a ****** weakly gasped for breath while walking through a dreamy meadow. 'Why does the world suck so much, why is it so mean' the marshmallow said in a crybaby whiny voice that made Maritsa want to adopt it.

    Then suddenly a gay know-it-all wizard with a long flowing beard elevated down from a narcissistic cloud and said in a heartwarming tone 'Because dear , you're not in it.'

    The little ball of puff looking around, realizing how right the wizard was. The marshmallow avoided the world for many weeks to spend time online where it was decaying and rotting, only because it was bullied by stronger and more logical males. Running away from its problems was not the answer, it realized. Running away from its pain made everything seem bleak and dead.

    'Now that I think about it, the internet and netflix has a bunch of hateful ignorant narcissists and is actually more mean than the real world is' the marshmallow said. 'I can stand up to bullies in the REAL WORLD too!' It got this sudden urge of confidence, and suddenly evolved into a meaner and tougher looking Tornado Chad.

    'Yes, you are both the kindness and the strength that you felt was missing!' the gay wizard said happily as the now-confident cloud bravely turned to face the world another day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    You are not the only one in the Quadra for whom money is not the most important thing. I care about money only until I have enough of it to pay my minimal bills, and then I don’t think about it after that.

    I, also, have always been interested in work primarily as a kind of learning experience, rather than as a way to make money.

    However, because we have both strong Te (efficiency) and Ni (future), the ILI’s and LIE’s that I know all tend to generate surplus cash and set it aside in some investment, and eventually, one day, we wake up and find that we have stacked up a lot of it.

    On the other hand, since we have weak Se (action) and Fi (values), we are equally likely to wake up one day and find that we have wasted our lives in unimportant pursuits, or failed to do the things that are really important to us.

    We need to be very, very careful about that, because our natural talents don’t help us here. It is something that our duals can help us with.
    Yes. Good news, I still can't tell if Socionics is useful.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology

    An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.

    http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=LIE_Profile_by_Gulenko

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