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Thread: SLI-IEE dating behavior

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    Default SLI-IEE dating behavior

    What would be (stereo-)typical dating behavior between these two types?
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
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    I'm dying to learn about this as well. Just yesterday I was at my family doctor's practice and I swear the assistant was SLI, and I wonder why she wasn't mesmerized by my mere presence. Sunday in the supermarket I had a very nice flirt with an ILE-woman somewhere in her late fifties, that went so far as her sending her man on an errand somewhere else in the store so we could freely throw some more smiles at each other. Why does this never happen to me with SLI women?
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    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I expected wisdom
    instead you're just eating here wth

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi View Post
    I expected wisdom
    instead you're just eating here wth
    Hey, I married an SLI and I watched her IEE sister marry a Delta NF. What do I know?

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    My SLI father married an LSE. There is a long history in my extended family of making horrible mistakes. I now have an SLI son who acts exactly like Illya.



    My son is the SLI-Te sub-type. He can't stand his IEE-Ne aunt, he says she is too flakey. However, I have an IEE-Fi bookkeeper and she is kind of fascinated by him. They are far apart in age, but that duality.....
    He is wary of her, but he stopped running away when she admired his carpentry work on a house.

    https://i.imgur.com/7cuqQBb.jpg
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-26-2019 at 04:01 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    I'm dying to learn about this as well. Just yesterday I was at my family doctor's practice and I swear the assistant was SLI, and I wonder why she wasn't mesmerized by my mere presence. Sunday in the supermarket I had a very nice flirt with an ILE-woman somewhere in her late fifties, that went so far as her sending her man on an errand somewhere else in the store so we could freely throw some more smiles at each other. Why does this never happen to me with SLI women?
    Just a word to the wise:

    My female IEE-Fi bookkeeper married a male ILE. She told me that he was a lot of fun, and she thought that once they were married, he would grow up. Didn't happen. Never will happen, she says. She says he's just like a kid himself, and is a completely irresponsible parent. They are now still married but are living apart, counting the days until the youngest kid hits 18 and they can part ways forever. That's a lot of days.........

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Just a word to the wise:

    My female IEE-Fi bookkeeper married a male ILE. She told me that he was a lot of fun, and she thought that once they were married, he would grow up. Didn't happen. Never will happen, she says. She says he's just like a kid himself, and is a completely irresponsible parent. They are now still married but are living apart, counting the days until the youngest kid hits 18 and they can part ways forever. That's a lot of days.........
    I wasn't actually planning on getting into a relationship with an ILE woman, it was just sheer physical attraction and she responded to my lustful glance. When you are 52, it is always nice to know that there are possibilities with women that do not always uphold boundaries women are expected to uphold ;-)
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    OK, I'm avoiding work pretty hard, so I'm going to take some time and describe what I think is the stereotypical dating behavior of the taciturn and avoidant but faithful-like-a-rock SLI cowboy and the slutty saloon girl with a heart of gold IEE.

    Somehow, fate throws them together. They find themselves in the very same room at the very same time. The IEE notices this strong and handsome man of mystery and throws herself at the SLI, who involuntarily notices her but doesn't want to have any complications in his life, so he either runs away or rejects her. But this is only round one.

    Round two. They find themselves back in the room at the very same time. The SLI is wondering if the rest of his life is going to be as boring as the first part of it. The IEE is talking, talking, talking about her life, her friends, her stream of thoughts, the birds she saw that day; she never shuts up. The SLI is paying scant attention to her, but he faintly hears in that barrage of words some phrase that makes him think, Hmmmm, that might be interesting to do. Or, the IEE is talking about how her life is an insane train-wreck because of other people, and the SLI thinks "That has a simple and short solution. I will suggest it to her." He does, it works, possibly with some active participation by the SLI, and he is happy and she is grateful. They spend a little time together and begin to think that the other person isn't some fresh hell, as they think most people are.

    Rounds three through fifty. They find themselves back in that room at the very same time, because it is almost impossible to get the SLI to do anything outside their previously planned schedule. But the IEE keeps suggesting fun things to do, and the SLI gradually starts doing about one out of ten, and they start to think of the other person as a friend and someone they can help (the SLI thinks this) or someone who has their shit together (the IEE thinks this), and before you know it, they find that the other person is a habit, but a usually good one.

    Round fifty-one. The IEE wants to get married. The SLI does not. The IEE applies pressure, the SLI leaves. The IEE calls the SLI after a few days, during which time the SLI finds that he has missed the IEE and has had a chance to re-experience his incredibly boring life and that scares the hell out of him, so he goes to see the IEE, very cautiously, and the IEE says, "We will get married or I'm done." So the SLI agrees to marry the IEE, but only if he can plan the honeymoon, because he doesn't want to be stranded in the middle of the Amazon with no resources, which might happen if the IEE plans anything.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-26-2019 at 05:38 PM.

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    Haha that was hilarious (it has truth though).

    Reminded me of something an IEE said about his SLI friend, the SLI keeps pushing IEE away but IEE always appears in his face, IEE says that if it weren't for SLI's father he wouldn't be friends with SLI and SLI says the same thing about IEE lol. Like they had many problems and it's amazing how they're still friends to this day.

    I think if there isn't a common goal or just something that gathers them, the relation of this pair wouldn't continue.

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    In high school I used to have a friend who was Ep-Fi. She had had a crush on an ISTp guy for years. He was gay. She continued to drag him to every social occasion ignoring other guys that had an interest on her (she was very popular). She basically created a social circle for which she created game nights, dance evenings, club outs and other stuff because she was so attached to him. The group also included a couple of other ISTps, one dating and INFj and the other also gay. Eventually high school stopped, he moved to London and she still continued to go after him for about a year before settling into college life and eventually marrying an ESTj priest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    In high school I used to have a friend who was Ep-Fi. She had had a crush on an ISTp guy for years. He was gay. She continued to drag him to every social occasion ignoring other guys that had an interest on her (she was very popular). She basically created a social circle for which she created game nights, dance evenings, club outs and other stuff because she was so attached to him. The group also included a couple of other ISTps, one dating and INFj and the other also gay. Eventually high school stopped, he moved to London and she still continued to go after him for about a year before settling into college life and eventually marrying an ESTj priest.
    Lol this sounded wild. Almost made up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Just a word to the wise:

    My female IEE-Fi bookkeeper married a male ILE. She told me that he was a lot of fun, and she thought that once they were married, he would grow up. Didn't happen. Never will happen, she says. She says he's just like a kid himself, and is a completely irresponsible parent. They are now still married but are living apart, counting the days until the youngest kid hits 18 and they can part ways forever. That's a lot of days.........
    They should agree to secretly see other people.

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    Joking around with each other and then flirting like high school kids lol
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    OK, I'm avoiding work pretty hard, so I'm going to take some time and describe what I think is the stereotypical dating behavior of the taciturn and avoidant but faithful-like-a-rock SLI cowboy and the slutty saloon girl with a heart of gold IEE.

    Somehow, fate throws them together. They find themselves in the very same room at the very same time. The IEE notices this strong and handsome man of mystery and throws herself at the SLI, who involuntarily notices her but doesn't want to have any complications in his life, so he either runs away or rejects her. But this is only round one.

    Round two. They find themselves back in the room at the very same time. The SLI is wondering if the rest of his life is going to be as boring as the first part of it. The IEE is talking, talking, talking about her life, her friends, her stream of thoughts, the birds she saw that day; she never shuts up. The SLI is paying scant attention to her, but he faintly hears in that barrage of words some phrase that makes him think, Hmmmm, that might be interesting to do. Or, the IEE is talking about how her life is an insane train-wreck because of other people, and the SLI thinks "That has a simple and short solution. I will suggest it to her." He does, it works, possibly with some active participation by the SLI, and he is happy and she is grateful. They spend a little time together and begin to think that the other person isn't some fresh hell, as they think most people are.

    Rounds three through fifty. They find themselves back in that room at the very same time, because it is almost impossible to get the SLI to do anything outside their previously planned schedule. But the IEE keeps suggesting fun things to do, and the SLI gradually starts doing about one out of ten, and they start to think of the other person as a friend and someone they can help (the SLI thinks this) or someone who has their shit together (the IEE thinks this), and before you know it, they find that the other person is a habit, but a usually good one.

    Round fifty-one. The IEE wants to get married. The SLI does not. The IEE applies pressure, the SLI leaves. The IEE calls the SLI after a few days, during which time the SLI finds that he has missed the IEE and has had a chance to re-experience his incredibly boring life and that scares the hell out of him, so he goes to see the IEE, very cautiously, and the IEE says, "We will get married or I'm done." So the SLI agrees to marry the IEE, but only if he can plan the honeymoon, because he doesn't want to be stranded in the middle of the Amazon with no resources, which might happen if the IEE plans anything.
    Okay, this is insightful.

    I believe my husband is C SLI-Si sx/sp (not 100% on his enneatype - maybe a 9w8)...

    Our story (and it’s benefit relations)....

    I was at a New Year’s party and this kind of weird guy was hitting on me. I managed to get away from him and soon noticed SLI future husband. SLI walked to the kitchen and started to talk with the weird guy. I walked past the kitchen to catch the gaze of SLI. Our eyes locked but I then went into the bathroom for a bit. When I opened the door I headed to the kitchen for something to drink. Weird guy was now gone. SLI and I were alone. I found out later that as soon as SLI noticed me coming out of the bathroom, he interrupted that weird guy and said abruptly, “Get out of here, now.” Kind of funny because that weird guy was falsely bragging about how he and I were practically going out.

    Anyway, SLI introduced himself and asked me, “Do you always wear dresses like that?” I said I did, sometimes.

    Then he said he was hungry. I offered him chips and the homemade guacamole I’d made. He ate almost all of it.

    We we ended up talking for 4-5 hours until I told him I was tired. He asked for my number, but didn’t call for a few days.

    After this we have a long distance phone relationship for a few weeks. He invites me to his house. He writes me a song and sings better than John Lennon. We soon move in together.

    Flash forward a couple years. We are still living together. We fight pretty intensely but always make up. SLI does not seem to be planning on getting married. I break down and let him know how important it is to me. If he really cares, why not get married?

    Whenever I go out of town to visit family he says he is so lonely, can’t imagine how he’d get along without me.

    Several months later he proposes on my birthday. He says he’d planned a nice speech but he couldn’t remember it. I say yes, though I know we fight and it is certainly not duality. He is a very good person.

    We get married. He has no opinion on much of the wedding planning except makes a good music playlist and he picks where we are going on our honeymoon (not my first choice but somewhere he’s been many times. I let him choose because I’m really happy he’s actually interested in choosing). We have a wonderful time.

    We have kids. He’s a great, fun, involved dad but does not share responsibilities 50/50 like we’d planned. It is impossible to get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, including waking up with the kids on the weekends, etc.

    All in all, I see the relations aren’t ideal. I wasn’t infatuated like I was with my first ILI love, but we have good sexual chemistry and he is interesting. Kind, smart, creative (a good painter, musician and art teacher), extremely stubborn, extreme creature of habit, muscles for days, great at basketball, quiet, reserved, self-centered, great with the kids, incredibly loyal, bad at romantic gestures mostly. We still fight, try not to.

    He kind of pursued me at the start but his family were shocked to hear that as they assumed he’d have been too shy. He’s not afraid of physical fights but fairly conflict avoidant otherwise.

    The end. :-/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Araz View Post
    Lol this sounded wild. Almost made up.
    I'm sorry that my gay friends were more popular than you.
    But it was a wild high school. Most fun period of my life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    I'm sorry that my gay friends were more popular than you.
    But it was a wild high school. Most fun period of my life.
    It sounds like a romantic comedy.

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    Would have to change a lot of the story to make it fit a Hollywood comedy mold. If you want to imagine the place in a movie, think more along the lines of 'Fame'. It was more ... that kind of a place.

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    Did you watch the movie Gremlins? They seem all cute and fun, just never feed them after midnight. Or never take them to your home, if possible.

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    Like a two-person bobsled run - the IEE steering and trying to push the limit while the SLI's on the brake trying to keep everything in the chute.......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    the outline is also true for the SLI (female) and IEE (male) verson I can attest to that. I am seeing a man who acts similarly to the female you have described. And I, well, act like the male you have described.

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    LOL, IEE wants to penetrate through SLI's tough exterior I presume.

    [Regarding kindred ... the way I for example can manipulate equations in my head and the way she can manipulate people... I see the initial appeal. It seems impressive from the opposite ends when both are consciously noting others abilities.]
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    SLI hands IEE a kisses chocolate candy, the IEE blushes the conversation take off. They get closer
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    In high school I used to have a friend who was Ep-Fi. She had had a crush on an ISTp guy for years. He was gay. She continued to drag him to every social occasion ignoring other guys that had an interest on her (she was very popular). She basically created a social circle for which she created game nights, dance evenings, club outs and other stuff because she was so attached to him. The group also included a couple of other ISTps, one dating and INFj and the other also gay. Eventually high school stopped, he moved to London and she still continued to go after him for about a year before settling into college life and eventually marrying an ESTj priest.
    What? Lol why???? Oh why???
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    What? Lol why???? Oh why???
    Which part?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    Which part?
    the chasing the gay guy part
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    the chasing the gay guy part
    Ep temperamented teenager. What else are you going to do except crush on someone... and when that person doesn't technically betray you but is just... kind of unavailable, when they don't stop you but rather try to be friends... what is that except a hint to chase further? Surely he was just being coy. Surely. And if he's a bit gay, doesn't that just add to the beautiful drama.

    Gah.

    The situation was even more stupid than what I've described previously. It was an art school. Hence, there were 21 guys out of 190 students. About a third of the guys were gay. She was the most easygoing and nice girl you could imagine, so about half of all the guys were fluttering around her. So... You had maybe 150 girls and about ten guys hating her either on principle or for her stupid affections.

    Fun times.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    Ep temperamented teenager. What else are you going to do except crush on someone... and when that person doesn't technically betray you but is just... kind of unavailable, when they don't stop you but rather try to be friends... what is that except a hint to chase further? Surely he was just being coy. Surely. And if he's a bit gay, doesn't that just add to the beautiful drama.

    Gah.

    The situation was even more stupid than what I've described previously. It was an art school. Hence, there were 21 guys out of 190 students. About a third of the guys were gay. She was the most easygoing and nice girl you could imagine, so about half of all the guys were fluttering around her. So... You had maybe 150 girls and about ten guys hating her either on principle or for her stupid affections.

    Fun times.
    So she immersed herself in a social atmosphere that included gay men and chased a gay guy for many years and then ended up marrying a priest?
    Sounds like she was So-first and sx-last, not an uncommon stack for SLI females. She also seems like she liked guys who were sexually unavailable but very social.

    Weirdly enough, my SLI ex had a very close gay male friend as a teenager, went to church every week, and now has befriended this weird old guy who lives alone with his cats and plays backgammon with her once a week or so. He is about as sexual as a pile of rubbish, which he actually resembles in some ways. I doubt if she will ever have sex again, but she's fine with that.

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    Female was ENFp
    The ESTj priest she found in a bar, drinking. Nice guy, good public speaker, handsome.

  30. #30
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Sorry. I should read these posts more carefully.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Like a two-person bobsled run - the IEE steering and trying to push the limit while the SLI's on the brake trying to keep everything in the chute.......

    a.k.a. I/O


    Heeheehee

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    SLI hands IEE a kisses chocolate candy, the IEE blushes the conversation take off. They get closer
    In Disney maybe

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi View Post
    In Disney maybe
    or anime
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi View Post
    In Disney maybe
    lol that was how it went with my SLI coworker.. but it was me to start the relationship in the very first stage.. and I doubt such a scenerio wouldnt create the same results in any other IR couple..

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    First date: SLI is obviously uncomfortable and stoically nervous (yes, I think that is a thing). IEE chatters away, asks questions, and charms him into oblivion. SLI relaxes visibly and is increasingly smitten. At some point they hold hands and nobody knows how that happened. SLI asks for a second date. Making out in the car afterwards optional.

    A few dates later, SLI asks if IEE wants to be exclusive. IEE squeals "YES" and fights off thoughts of eloping to Guatemala.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    First date: SLI is obviously uncomfortable and stoically nervous (yes, I think that is a thing). IEE chatters away, asks questions, and charms him into oblivion. SLI relaxes visibly and is increasingly smitten. At some point they hold hands and nobody knows how that happened. SLI asks for a second date. Making out in the car afterwards optional.

    A few dates later, SLI asks if IEE wants to be exclusive. IEE squeals "YES" and fights off thoughts of eloping to Guatemala.
    <3
    this is how it happens exactly.



    Few dates:


    Years later:




  37. #37
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    Many SLIs are schizoid so they often end up in loving long-term relationships with themselves.

     


    When their sexual instinct (and desire for intimacy) kicks in, they tend to gravitate toward complete nutcases...

     


    ...or loving, sensible people with values aligned with their own.

     
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  38. #38
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Park View Post
    Many SLIs are schizoid so they often end up in loving long-term relationships with themselves.

    When their sexual instinct (and desire for intimacy) kicks in, they tend to gravitate toward complete nutcases...

    ...or loving, sensible people with values aligned with their own.
    @Park. those videos are unavailable to me, but I agree with you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Park. those videos are unavailable to me
    Weird. They should be available from anywhere in the world (within the US and Europe at the very least). If you're accessing the forum through some smartphone app, try switching to a browser.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  40. #40

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    Quote Originally Posted by Park View Post
    Many SLIs are schizoid so they often end up in loving long-term relationships with themselves.

     


    When their sexual instinct (and desire for intimacy) kicks in, they tend to gravitate toward complete nutcases...

     


    ...or loving, sensible people with values aligned with their own.

     
    Or dead by laserboobs

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