Member Questionnaire 1 (Zhaylin)
What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is nature: forests, lakes, animals, the stars.
Love is taking care of the people in your life (emotionally, financially, spiritually when applicable)
What are your most important values?
Loyalty, loving-kindness, empathy, compassion, faith.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I identify as one of Jehovah's Witnesses (a Christian religion). I'm not practicing my faith though because I've not gotten my house in order and took up vaping. (they practice what they preach and are "clean", in all ways, as much as possible)
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Ridiculous and saddening (and often-times infuriating).

Power? In individuals or bigger? Or personally? Individually is personal. In "bigger" (corporations, governments), it's often abused: power in determining aid, mercy; stepping on "the little people" or each other to obtain higher ranks or more wealth.

Personally, my power is in my ability to empathize with others and in being able to mingle with others regardless of their class, religion, nationality etc. I can get along with almost anyone.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Religion, crafts, video games, tv shows and movies, survival scenarios. Those are my interests, so I converse about them for a long time. Other than that, I just listen, ask questions, and draw comparisons (when possible) in order to contribute or advise.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
To a point. I LOVE playing detective and unearthing the reasons why this is this and that is that. I ask others for their experiences and the knowledge they have about those things.

I'm not really focused on my body though. I never learned (nor cared to) how to style my hair. Makeup is too expensive and tends to break me out, so I only use it on rare occasions. I've gained weight over the years and would like to lose 25 pounds... but not enough so that I'll actually start eating better or exercising rofl

Health wise, I focus on what hurts, is acting weird, or results which have come back weird (i.e. why has my white blood count been at the lowest end of normal for a decade+? Can allergies do that?) It's like, don't just give me a Tylenol because I have a headache. Help me figure out why I got the headache to begin with
What do you think of daily chores?
What are chores?
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I friggin LOVED Bird Box. I finished 3 seasons of the Wanted, on Netflix, in about 3 days. It was really good.
I've also really been enjoying the Gifted and Manifest.

It's been years since I read anything. Ugh, I can't even remember the series now. One of the authors was Geer and it was a fictional "historic" account of Indigenous Americans. I never finished the series and have wanted to revisit it. All of their stories were amazing. The Clan of the Cave Bear series was my all time favorite (except for the last one).
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
Seeing others in emotional pain and not being able to help them. I like feeling helpful and easing burdens. It doesn't make me cry, though- just beside myself.

My surgery last year (to repair a broken shoulder) eventually made me cry because the pain was so severe.

Darn near everything makes me smile. Silliness, humor, some stupidity (mine and others), annoyances lol. Smiling is a default for me whether I'm happy or not (sometimes, you "have to smile to keep from crying or killing someone").
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I can feel "at home" pretty much anywhere. I love nature, though I'm too lazy to actually get out in it.
I'm most comfortable, and at peace, in my room. It has all my creature comforts.

I don't really feel a sense of belonging anywhere. I'd like to say with my husband, but he has such a low threshold of tolerance for interaction. I'd also like to say with my kids, but I think they just tolerate me lol. I feel a strong sense of belonging with my Congregation, but only when I'm in good standing, and that's been... gee... at least 10 years now.

It's basically just me and my bird and that's okay.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
My aversion to confrontation, my inability to properly discipline and guide my kids, my inability to keep my house clean were/are seen as my biggest weaknesses by others.
I dislike my laziness... but not enough to really change
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Other people are drawn to my smiles and compassion and empathy; which are also the things I like most about myself. I also really love my intuition and I wish I wouldn't doubt it as much as I tend to.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
Does a cleaning service count? How about a wealthy benefactor to take all these cats off my hands? Or at least have them spayed and neutered? How about it, if people would stop dumping their animals off nearby so they wouldn't come here to begin with >:[
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Not really. I love the peace and quiet and simplicity of monotony. I can always find some way to entertain or amuse myself.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
?? I like confidence and intelligence, agreeableness, passionate interests, common sense. I dislike high energy and strong emotional displays.
I can get along with almost anyone though; at least for short periods of time.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
What is sex and romance lol? As a concept, I think they're fine. Too much gushiness would make me uncomfortable.

What I already have- a highly intelligent spouse who takes care of me the best he can.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I've raised 4. My main concern now is whether or not they'll ever leave lol.
I just want them to be happy, healthy, productive members of society.

I failed and continue to fail as a parent. I've always been too passive, permissive, and accepting. There have been no true, long lasting consequences for any of their actions.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
The only beliefs I really hold dear enough to actually clash against are discrimination or religious bashing or overly swearing. And because I hold those so tightly, I'll speak up.
Except for the swearing. With my kids, I grumble and rant and tell them to friggin watch their language because they know how I feel. If it's coming from my hubby or relatives, I just grin and bear it but grumble internally.

(It's an OCD type thing. For days after exposure, those words ricochet in my brain without end. It's like tourettes in that I'll be trying to sleep or PRAY when *&$% pops into my brain. Just thinking about this is irritating me rofl )
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I don't really have one. I don't work or interact with people other than trips to the store (for the most part). I liken myself to a "kept woman" in that my hubby pays all my bills and taxes and gives me a small weekly allowance to work with. I wouldn't survive in society.

I think people, as a whole, are okay. They're just trying to take care of themselves the best they can, with what they have.
Racism, discrimination and homelessness are the biggest social problems I can think of. I can't really choose one that's worse.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't.
How do you behave around strangers?
Friendly, accepting.