So it seems like you would have to keep in mind that you had this traumatic experience, and that it can color your judgment. Someone who really cares about you can be helped to understand you, and if they really care about you, they will then take care to adjust their behaviors accordingly.
[Not long after the demise of my difficult marriage, I was at a basketball game with other parents of players. Among them was one couple in particular, whom I knew from other functions. I saw them interacting noticeably nicely and kindly and respectfully of each other, which was quite unlike how it had been for me in my marriage. And instead of thinking, "Well that's nice", this very clear, dark thought came to me: "Oh, poor her! He's nice to her
now, here in front of other people, but I bet when he is alone with her he is cruel to her." As soon as I thought it, I knew it was an unfounded judgment based on my own traumatic experience, not an any reality or evidence in front of me. I knew cruelty-free marriages existed - like the marriage of my own parents, for example! But I was still in the aftershock of my own experience, and it colored my judgment. So I am saying maybe your judgment is off a bit. And you are allowed that!]