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Thread: Telling someone he's fat and needs to change his eating habits

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    Bento's Avatar
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    Default Telling someone he's fat and needs to change his eating habits

    Currently I'm watching my father (SEI), who's in his fifties, gaining weight. He's fat and it's getting worse. He has severe back pain due to his enormous belly. He eats waffles with chocolate for breakfast (about 700 kcal), vow's that he eats "nothing" at work, eats a whole pizza at home instead of the cooked meal and then waffles or mozzarella sticks for dinner again. He's also a heavy smoker. I'm watching him dying slowly.

    He tried magic diet pills which didn't work. My mother (IEE) doesn't want to do anything about it. As if the problem is going so solve itself. Besides, she uses the teary eye method to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Or I'm just an ass. Either way I'm out of ideas.

    Last time I tried to talk to him about that I made him cry. Nothing has changed since then, so what can I do? I can't just wait for him having a stroke or a heart attack.


    edit: the more I think about it the more I see it's really a question of responsibility.
    @Troll Nr 007 waht's the ENTp point of view on this?
    Last edited by Bento; 02-25-2019 at 12:09 PM.

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    People put on weight when they are unhappy or frustrated. If he can change his circumstances, the weight should come off.

    In the meantime, you might encourage him to start taking walks and drinking a full glass of water before meals. Start slow with the walks. They can curb a person’s appetite before a meal, but go easy at first. Belly fat is the most dangerous kind for placing stress on a person’s heart.

    I’d insist he see a doctor before he starts exercising.

    But the core problems are his unhappiness and frustration.

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    @Kiwi, I should add that if your father succeeds in changing his frustrating or unhappy circumstances, it might have consequences beyond what you might expect.

    I gained a lot of weight in the last few years of my marriage. (So much so, that my mother, who doesn't see me that often, didn't recognize me in a picture taken from that time.) The weight came off when we divorced.
    On the other hand, I have an ESI buddy whose weight was fine for many years, but when his wife divorced him, his belly grew to enormous proportions. The guy presently eats everything that isn't nailed down, and I'm worried about him.

    The source of your father's frustration might be at home or it might be at work. Very often, when the kids are old enough, a marriage will break up, and this can be very hard on a person, especially if he can't "fix the problem".
    Alternately, by the time a guy is 50, he's either made it at work or he hasn't. If he hasn't achieved his dreams, or if he is questioning his whole life and it's coming up short, he might need to do something very different to restore his reason for living. You should support him in this, whatever form it might take.

    If he's eating what you say he is, he's probably pretty far along the path of arteriosclerosis, which is where the fat and animal proteins irritate the blood vessels and they build up a plaque coating as a defense. When it reaches a certain point, it adversely affects a guy's sex life, which just adds to the frustration and unhappiness. It is possible to partially reverse this buildup of plaque, but he'd have to cut out all animal products and most oils from his diet at this point. Which might be good for him in other ways.
    And, of course, he needs to stop smoking.

    His situation isn't really going to be solved by calling him irresponsible for not exercising more self-control. His problem stems from the fact that his circumstances are bad and he can't see a way to improve them.
    The source of the problem is his situation. The over-eating is just a symptom. If he can identify and remove the source of frustration, then he'll be back.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 02-25-2019 at 12:47 PM.

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    Sounds also like bad habits. So the change of daily routine food and interests in mind should help.

    Overall frustration boils down to finding something new and it should improve state of mind.

    Cutting down from those morning habits should be easy. Just replace something with something else. Hard to go worse.
    Daytime stuff... Does he have a social circle that "enforces" him to go down that route?
    Has he tried e-cigarettes?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troll Nr 007 View Post
    Sounds also like bad habits. So the change of daily routine food and interests in mind should help.

    Overall frustration boils down to finding something new and it should improve state of mind.

    Cutting down from those morning habits should be easy. Just replace something with something else. Hard to go worse.
    Daytime stuff... (1)Does he have a social circle that "enforces" him to go down that route?
    (2)Has he tried e-cigarettes?
    (1)Yes somehow. His colleagues and his work environment. He does not have much alternatives as of now and has a dead end job.
    (2) I will try to suggest that
    thanks

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    I don't think there is much you can do other than encourage him to seek professional help. Even if you could make him change some habits temporarily it needs to be permanent and that's need long term changes and support.

    What is his job? It is quite common for SEIs to have bad jobs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    I don't think there is much you can do other than encourage him to seek professional help. Even if you could make him change some habits temporarily it needs to be permanent and that's need long term changes and support.

    What is his job? It is quite common for SEIs to have bad jobs.
    Thank you for your reply.
    he's a trained electrician but is currently a construction worker. He's skilled, patient, knowledgeable and precise. He endures the terrible working conditions without ever complaining. The kind of guy people give work they don't want to do.

    I think he'd do better if he learned the local language and apply somewhere else but I can't make him learn anything new.

    Same with my SEI brother. I can't motivate them to educate themselves. They try at first but as soon as it becomes difficult they drop everything. I know that they can learn but why won't they put in any effort? What learning condicions would they need?
    Last edited by Bento; 02-26-2019 at 03:59 PM. Reason: you-> your

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    This is very tricky and I feel for you.

    Maybe you can try to make some more balanced meals for him that are also very tasty. If he likes cheese then some baked vegetables with mozzarella on top can be a good idea. If you managed to make him try that sort of meals he might start consider adding them to his diet.

    It's hard for somebody to admit that they are doing something wrong diet wise (especially if they have high Si I think). But if you can just show him that it is possible to get whatever he is getting from junk food from healthier options, then he might slowly consider changing his eating habits. Don't expect him to just tell you that you're right and to everything right the way. It's a very slow process.

    Also, him not eating anything at work is actually very believable. And it would explain why he eats so much and so bad once he gets home. So preparing something for him to eat on the go at work could be a nice first step.

    From my experience, a common factor between people that suffer from obesity is a big lack of knowledge. Even when they try something to change the situation, it's worthless and it was never going to work in the first place. Maybe your dad needs to hear the logic behind weight loss (especially if he is Ti HA?). Because there is one, and it's actually simpler than most people makes it sound. For me when I started working out, learning that simply counting my calories would allow me to have much better results really helped me. It even became kind of a game.

    From what you are saying your dad actually seems to want to loose weight. And if his job is very physical than it should be even easier for him. He just need to have a different approach to food (which is hard I know).

    Also it sounds cliché but maybe encourage him take on a hobby or to participate to more social gatherings. Keeping busy is a good way not to overeat (which might explain why he is able not eat at work). And the more activities he will to outside of work the more he will realize how his weight restricts his freedom (freedom of movements, freedom of doing what he like to do)/

    I'm just throwing some ideas and I hope that I was able to help. Good luck anyway.

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    Does he want to change? Otherwise it's just a waste of your energy. The first heart attack might be what he needs to wake up.

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    I've experienced exactly this with my father only he descended into alcoholism instead of overeating and it indeed ended up leading to his eventual death.

    Ultimately I think this sort of hedonism results from being in a long chain of unfortunate events and the realization that lack any means of achieving your long desires. My dad lived his in youth in the 60s, 70s, and 80s when life was generally great in America, due to the ruling classes fearing a socialist uprising with the presence of the USSR and the concessions they were making to the working and middle classes as a response. His parents owned 100 acres of land at one point and he was basically living the dream. However as time went on, his parents began to gamble all their wealth away eventually reducing them to living in a trailer, while at the same time society as a whole was also transitioning further into austerity with the fall of the Soviet Union. On top of that he ended contracting Hep C due to bad blood a hospital gave him and later got diabetes as well. So with all that plus other things I could keep adding, he eventually just reached the point of completely not giving a fuck and settling for alcohol.

    What you need to do is raise his fighting spirit. Remind him that if he doesn't straighten up, he will die a loser who gave in to hedonism while the capitalist and shitty members of society continue to rob people of meaningful lives.

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    Have you told him how important he is to you? Somethings seems wrong with him. Maybe some dissatisfaction with life and relationships. Does he talk to you about what has been bothering him? How open is he with his feelings?

    Suggest maybe going on walks with him on a regular basis, if you live close, or encourage him to walk with someone. Moderate exercise will help control his appetite, get his mind away food, and benefit him psychologically. I would then slowly work in changes to eating habits: Smaller portions, less processed food, more fruits and vegetables, etc.

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    I have seen SEI improving (not getting totally on a track) himself in similar condition and circumstances. It has been a slow change and bunch of warnings. He has his own house and garden and has some projects there and it keeps him going.
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    Not wanting to do anything about it... wow that's fucked
    When we really think about it, it could lead to someone's death - so is it really any better than murder?
    "You're just like me, you're out your mind
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    Have you tried bringing him to a doctor or a nutritionist who could scare him into losing weight? He should be aware of the consequences of his actions. They might also be able to give him a meal plan- maybe he's thinking that dieting's tougher than it really is. But about the crying thing- do you know why he cried? Because he felt attacked, or because it was overwhelming, or... depending on this, you could figure out how to talk to him again.

    Quote Originally Posted by queentiger View Post
    Not wanting to do anything about it... wow that's fucked
    When we really think about it, it could lead to someone's death - so is it really any better than murder?
    Yeah, I agree. by avoiding the problem the mom's only denying the facts, backing out because it's "too stressful" or "she's scared" etc. the fact that it can be solved seems to not occur to her, or maybe she's lying to herself and thinking that it'll be fine.

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    Social life usually helps in those cases.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muddy View Post
    I've experienced exactly this with my father only he descended into alcoholism instead of overeating and it indeed ended up leading to his eventual death.

    Ultimately I think this sort of hedonism results from being in a long chain of unfortunate events and the realization that lack any means of achieving your long desires. My dad lived his in youth in the 60s, 70s, and 80s when life was generally great in America, due to the ruling classes fearing a socialist uprising with the presence of the USSR and the concessions they were making to the working and middle classes as a response. His parents owned 100 acres of land at one point and he was basically living the dream. However as time went on, his parents began to gamble all their wealth away eventually reducing them to living in a trailer, while at the same time society as a whole was also transitioning further into austerity with the fall of the Soviet Union. On top of that he ended contracting Hep C due to bad blood a hospital gave him and later got diabetes as well. So with all that plus other things I could keep adding, he eventually just reached the point of completely not giving a fuck and settling for alcohol.

    What you need to do is raise his fighting spirit. Remind him that if he doesn't straighten up, he will die a loser who gave in to hedonism while the capitalist and shitty members of society continue to rob people of meaningful lives.
    While you have a point about the basic psychology, this is the exact opposite of how I would approach an SEI about it.

    Yes, he has to want to change at some level. It helps to consider why he overeats, what need he's trying to fill, and if you could help make healthier options more attractive somehow.

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    I had the same problem with my parents. My dad is technically normal weight, but he's skinny all over with a potbelly which I read is the most dangerous place to store fat. He also has diabetes and high BP, cholesterol, triglycerides. He takes medication to control it but also sits all day and eats sugary junk foods like cinnamon bread + jam even though we're vegetarian. Whenever I'm home, I remind him to walk daily and nag constantly, it seems to work. I got my mom to drop from 155 lbs to 130 lbs.

    I may seem like a jerk, but I have no problem pointing out they were fat and needed to lose weight.

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    @Kiwi, you might get him interested in Keto... Sounds like he eats a lot of sugars/refined carbs with those waffles and pizza crust daily. I don't recommend Keto long term (because in some people it can slow the thyroid if done too extremely) but it can really help with getting rid of excess fat. What's nice/different about it is you get to eat foods that taste and feel somewhat decadent and satisfying while getting your body to turn its own fats into its energy source (instead of using outside sugars for energy). You literally pee out your own fat. A ketogenic diet is shown to help lower blood sugar (in some cases reversing type II diabetes), reduce overall fat storage, lower bad cholesterol, etc. Maybe you could get him to watch a documentary about it to inspire him and kind of show him the basics, on the pretense that it interests you. I know a few people who actually lost well over 100 lbs eating ketogenic, and it's the only diet they could ever stick to because it's freaking delicious and filling! Lower fat is not exactly the answer, the science points to lower sugar. If he watches a movie about it that's compelling he might get into it. The first few days you can feel a bit weird as your body adapts but then often you feel really great during the diet. My 2-3 cents.

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    hey Kiwi, sorry to hear this... I was thinking that perhaps you can try to buy many healthy snacks (nuts, seeds, fresh tasty fruits, veggies, protein bars, pure chocolates.. or whatever, and even some little pieces of unhealthy foods, but very little), and place them all over your house, so that when your dad has an appetite, he'll put his hands on those things.

    if he eats a lot of little things during the day, that's better than him just eating some pizza at lunch/dinner, and it's healthier, so that even if he doesn't lose weight, at least he won't store all kind of bad sugary fats in his body.

    and take him out for a walk sometimes : )

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    We all die.
    Pressing someone to eat a certain way is not at all helpful. Asking them to try something is different.
    The right attitude to have is ask the person what they want, show them you care by being present. By showing up. The rest is in their hands and there will so you have to respect their choices.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    People put on weight when they are unhappy or frustrated. If he can change his circumstances, the weight should come off.

    In the meantime, you might encourage him to start taking walks and drinking a full glass of water before meals. Start slow with the walks. They can curb a person’s appetite before a meal, but go easy at first. Belly fat is the most dangerous kind for placing stress on a person’s heart.

    I’d insist he see a doctor before he starts exercising.

    But the core problems are his unhappiness and frustration.
    Yea this basically. You should instigate whether somethings been bothering him, maybe his marriage sucks or something, you should ask around

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    I lost a lot of weight on weight watchers. ((about 40 pounds and I have about 20 more to go)) Um maybe it's a good program for Te polrs. It was easy for me to count points... but it does take loyalty dedication and you do have to stick with it. It doesn't take more than two dimensional Ti to follow the rules about it though.

    What surprised/interested me the most when losing weight was how subtle it can be. Just two extra points a day... which is only like 100 calories, then I would be maintaining weight and not losing it slowly but surely. So just forcing myself to stick with my daily point allowance really helped. I like the old system from 2007-ish though I hate the new system because it's more harsh, Te and punishing (even though it says otherwise as an advertisement gimmick to get you to pay for the site- it clearly was NOT the case for me). Tell him about the old original weight watchers system and he might like it?

    He doesn't have to completely cut out pizza & other junk food but it would help him so much if he stopped smoking and limited the junk while introducing more healthy stuff. Omega-3 and vitamin D3/magnesium also helps a lot. One slice of pizza once a week , he's bound to value it more than an entire pizza whenever he feels like it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    I lost a lot of weight on weight watchers. ((about 40 pounds and I have about 20 more to go)) Um maybe it's a good program for Te polrs. It was easy for me to count points... but it does take loyalty dedication and you do have to stick with it. It doesn't take more than two dimensional Ti to follow the rules about it though.

    What surprised/interested me the most when losing weight was how subtle it can be. Just two extra points a day... which is only like 100 calories, then I would be maintaining weight and not losing it slowly but surely. So just forcing myself to stick with my daily point allowance really helped. I like the old system from 2007-ish though I hate the new system because it's more harsh, Te and punishing (even though it says otherwise as an advertisement gimmick to get you to pay for the site- it clearly was NOT the case for me). Tell him about the old original weight watchers system and he might like it?

    He doesn't have to completely cut out pizza & other junk food but it would help him so much if he stopped smoking and limited the junk while introducing more healthy stuff. Omega-3 and vitamin D3/magnesium also helps a lot. One slice of pizza once a week , he's bound to value it more than an entire pizza whenever he feels like it.
    B&D I’m interested in knowing how you approach a significant other who is big (“fat”) and complains about getting big
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    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Fat doesn’t mean healthy. I am so much more in physical trouble than the lady at the office who weighs 100lbs overweight because of how my internal organs function
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    People put on weight when they are unhappy or frustrated. If he can change his circumstances, the weight should come off.
    You think? Most overweight people I’ve met are unhappy or stressed, but so are so many people in the developed world that I’ve not noticed a correlation. I could buy unhappiness being the main cause of obesity though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bento View Post
    Currently I'm watching my father (SEI), who's in his fifties, gaining weight. He's fat and it's getting worse. He has severe back pain due to his enormous belly. He eats waffles with chocolate for breakfast (about 700 kcal), vow's that he eats "nothing" at work, eats a whole pizza at home instead of the cooked meal and then waffles or mozzarella sticks for dinner again. He's also a heavy smoker. I'm watching him dying slowly.

    He tried magic diet pills which didn't work. My mother (IEE) doesn't want to do anything about it. As if the problem is going so solve itself. Besides, she uses the teary eye method to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Or I'm just an ass. Either way I'm out of ideas.

    Last time I tried to talk to him about that I made him cry. Nothing has changed since then, so what can I do? I can't just wait for him having a stroke or a heart attack.


    edit: the more I think about it the more I see it's really a question of responsibility.
    @Troll Nr 007 waht's the ENTp point of view on this?
    i dont see the problem just tell him he needs to lose weight and change his diet. Force him to hit the gym and be more active hes going to hate you for it, but its better than watching him kill himself.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anderson21 View Post
    i dont see the problem just tell him he needs to lose weight and change his diet. Force him to hit the gym and be more active hes going to hate you for it, but its better than watching him kill himself.
    .
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Make him ashamed of being who he is in this state.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Make him ashamed of being who he is in this state.
    lol he already feels ashamed and nothing is happening according to bento hes not doing anything to change. Its probably an addiction he needs either therapy or to take him to a gym. His diet changing is a must.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anderson21 View Post
    lol he already feels ashamed and nothing is happening according to bento hes not doing anything to change. Its probably an addiction he needs either therapy or to take him to a gym. His diet changing is a must.
    Where's it say that? If the dude is really ashamed of himself he should do the mental equivalent of retching whenever he thinks about himself. If he can keep doing what he's doing, he doesn't feel it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Where's it say that? If the dude is really ashamed of himself he should do the mental equivalent of retching whenever he thinks about himself. If he can keep doing what he's doing, he doesn't feel it.
    bento said he cried when talked about it so there gotta be something

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anderson21 View Post
    i dont see the problem just tell him he needs to lose weight and change his diet. Force him to hit the gym and be more active hes going to hate you for it, but its better than watching him kill himself.
    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Make him ashamed of being who he is in this state.
    Thanks you two. Force and shaming would be my first impulse, too, but I know for a fact that these kind of approaches don't work here. And I lack the emotional intelligence to come up with any other way

    Besides, thanks @everyone here. I didn't expect this thread to live longer than a day or two. As for updates; not much has changed. If it's green he won't eat it. The only break through was 'hiding food'. That's right. If you give a child a bag of chips he will eat the whole bag so you've got give him a portion only. It's so stupid it works.

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    diet doesnt mean veggies just cut sweets and home cook all foods have him fast twice a week for a day drink alot of water the fat will disappear

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bento View Post
    Currently I'm watching my father (SEI), who's in his fifties, gaining weight. He's fat and it's getting worse. He has severe back pain due to his enormous belly. He eats waffles with chocolate for breakfast (about 700 kcal), vow's that he eats "nothing" at work, eats a whole pizza at home instead of the cooked meal and then waffles or mozzarella sticks for dinner again. He's also a heavy smoker. I'm watching him dying slowly.

    He tried magic diet pills which didn't work. My mother (IEE) doesn't want to do anything about it. As if the problem is going so solve itself. Besides, she uses the teary eye method to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Or I'm just an ass. Either way I'm out of ideas.

    Last time I tried to talk to him about that I made him cry. Nothing has changed since then, so what can I do? I can't just wait for him having a stroke or a heart attack.


    edit: the more I think about it the more I see it's really a question of responsibility.
    @Troll Nr 007 waht's the ENTp point of view on this?

    If it's me, I'll just throw away all those junk food into the trash bin when he isn't looking...Doing this would actually force him to eat something else. And if he buys something unhealthy again, throw it into the trash bin again.
    Last edited by Hermit Soul; 05-21-2019 at 03:10 PM.

  35. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    We all die.
    Pressing someone to eat a certain way is not at all helpful. Asking them to try something is different.
    The right attitude to have is ask the person what they want, show them you care by being present. By showing up. The rest is in their hands and there will so you have to respect their choices.
    This isn't abpout preventing death, it's about improving his quality of life, which will have a positive effect on his loved ones. Allowing him to continue on an unhealthy path will probably lead to costlier health problems down the road, and possibly an earlier death, which will cause more burden, hardships and resentment for his loved ones. Allowing him to eat as he chooses without considering the effects beyond those on his own health is allowing him to be selfish. He agreed to a life as a husband and a father, and when we commit ourselves to that life, we must give up some of our own desires and vices.

    If they force him to improve his health and exercise, he'll thank them for it later on.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Perpetual Now View Post
    This isn't abpout preventing death, it's about improving his quality of life, which will have a positive effect on his loved ones. Allowing him to continue on an unhealthy path will probably lead to costlier health problems down the road, and possibly an earlier death, which will cause more burden, hardships and resentment for his loved ones. Allowing him to eat as he chooses without considering the effects beyond those on his own health is allowing him to be selfish. He agreed to a life as a husband and a father, and when we commit ourselves to that life, we must give up some of our own desires and vices.

    If they force him to improve his health and exercise, he'll thank them for it later on.
    Autonomy is extremely important to one’s sense of individuality. I support autonomy. Anything else is out of our own insecurities
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Autonomy is extremely important to one’s sense of individuality. I support autonomy. Anything else is out of our own insecurities
    and watch him die some times you have to sacrifice a good image and probably even a relationship to help someone you love. Its tough love but you have to put your feelings away to get the job done. Respect is then earned, if you let him have his way later on when something happens hes goin to end up hating himself and hating you for not stopping him.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anderson21 View Post
    and watch him die some times you have to sacrifice a good image and probably even a relationship to help someone you love. Its tough love but you have to put your feelings away to get the job done. Respect is then earned, if you let him have his way later on when something happens hes goin to end up hating himself and hating you for not stopping him.
    We all die
    Dying is organic and natural

    Most people don’t know how to live
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    omg don’t throw perfectly good food in the trash, even as unhealthy as it may be. Give it the the poor or something at least.
    Tumblr

    “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.”
    ~Karl

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    "What's up, Fletcher?"

    "Your cholesterol fatty! Dead man walking!"

    Jim Carrey, Liar, Liar

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