-
Help me figure out my Enneagram type
I use the questionnaire from Typology Central
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I took Enneagram tests, filling out questionnaires on Typology Central and Persolanity Cafe, read enneagram books, identifying my underlying motivations, comparing the differences between 2 types, etc. At first I relate so much to 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 9. I narrowed down the types using triads and I know that I definitely not on the Assertive triad (Hornevian) and Competency triad (Harmonic), On Hornevian triad I relate more on Withdrawn and on Harmonic I relate more to Reactive, which makes my type is between 4, 6 and 9. Why I'm pretty sure I'm not really a 4 is I don't think I'm unique and special, I don't relate to integration to 1 and disintegration to 2, and I don't fear being ordinary even though I'm a sensitive person and sometimes I enjoy feeling melancholy. So only 6 and 9 remaining.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
My baseline mood is neutral. I don't feel anything at all.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
I'm full of contradictions. I hate it if my room is messy but I'm lazy and a procrastinator. I'm shy around strangers but outgoing around people I know well. I'm impatient if people do anything slowly but I do anything slowly too. I value commitment but I want freedom.
b. What have others said about you?
Others said I'm shy, quiet and a bit immature.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I think of myself as someone who can get influenced by people easily but hard to influence people. Because of this I'm selective at making friends. I want a friend that can influence me to be a better person. A friend that can make me stop being shy, lazy, unassertive, fearful, doubtful and unmotivated become more outgoing, brave, sure, assertive, productive, hardworking and determined.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
I don't have any issues I've dealt with as far as I can remember. I don't think I've ever had any conflict or disagreement with others, but if I did maybe I've forgotten it completely.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
It's impossible for me to be straightforward, direct, powerful, and forceful.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
I wish I could be more assertive, being braver, outgoing and take more risks so I can live my life to the fullest.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
Well, it seems like the only reason I left my friends behind is because I've lost contact with them. That's it.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
9 and 6 I'm 100% sure it's on my tritype along with 4 but which order? I know 4 is the last number. No wonder I can't figure out my type. Triple doubter! lol
a. How do you relate to these types?
Type 9 : I'm not an assertive person. I avoid conflict by get along with what others want. I really hate it when I see conflict especially if I'm the one who creates the conflict. I suppress my anger and release it when I'm alone. I can relate to 9's fear of loss and separation. I tend to be lazy and procrastinate too as sloth is the 7 deadly sin I relate to the most.
Type 6 : I relate with the phobic 6. I often have "what if" thoughts, I'm openly fearful, worrier and prone to anxiety. I'm uncomfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty, and I don't trust people easily. I hate it when I break people's trust or if they break my trust. I'm cautious and have self doubt. I fear of being too dependent but in the same time I fear that I can't depend on anyone. I want to be certain. I actually relate to 6's fear of without support and guidance more than 9's fear of loss and separation.
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Type 9 : I'm too reactive to be a 9 and I feel fear more than anger. I don't mind to experience strong emotions. I also actually know what I want but I'm afraid to tell it to people if it can cause conflict. Sometimes I can say "no" and it always makes me feel guilty and satisfied in the same time.
Type 6 : I don't relate to the "questioning authority" part as I'm either respect or being indifferent with authority. I don't relate to "The Loyalist" label. I'm not a good troubleshooter. Yes I'm full of contradiction but I'm not unpredictable. I don't relate to "faithful and dedicated".
7. Which types are least like you?
8 and 1. So if I'm a 9 I become a bird that doesn't have wing. Oh, you know how I feel really sorry for the bird because it can't fly *cries* Ok I'll stop. Sorry for becoming too dramatic.
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
Type 8 : I don't care about gaining power or avoiding being weak or whatever. I don't relate to 8's basic fear. Like said above, I'm definitely not on the assertive triad. So I'm the polar oppossite of 8.
Type 1 :
I heard 1s children are more mature than their age and often play a role as teachers, parents authority figures, etc. I'm not like that. I act like a child when I was a child and I never play a role as parents, teachers, etc. And I still bring the childlike quality until now.
I'm a lazy person and procrastinate a lot, and the reason why I procrastinate is because there's other thing that's not important but fun to do.
Like said above, I'm 100% sure I don't belong to Competency Triad. Whenever there's a problem my first instinct is to react emotionally and sometimes I can overreact, while their first instinct is to put aside their feelings and solve it logically.
I don't consider myself an organized person but I'm not disorganized either. I'm in the middle.
I don't have a strong self control and self discipline. I'm working on it though.
I never think anger is a bad emotion and a good person should never get angry. I do suppress my anger but it's because I'm afraid it might lead to conflict. If I never been afraid of conflict maybe I would always show my anger.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
Type 8 : None. Whatever type 8 characteristic is, I'm the polar opposite of them. I admire them though and sometimes I wish I could be like them. Life is easier for them I think.
Type 1 :
Ummm.... I hate to admit it but I can kinda relate to 1's fear of being bad, corrupt and evil. But I think everyone can relate to it on some degree regardless of type except if you don't have conscience or a psycho. And I'm not too rigid on it.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I've made a commitment to not searching for love until I have a job. I'm a woman and I don't want to rely too much to my partner financially.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
That it's not okay to assert myself and stand up for myself, that I don't have ability to do anything, that'm a coward.
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
I repeatedly break my promise to face my fears. When I did that my inner critic was like "What a coward! Facing your fears is not that hard! Oh wait, it's IMPOSSIBLE to you, right? Once a coward will ALWAYS be a coward!" Yeah it's harsh. I'm my own worst critic when it comes to facing my fears.
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I don't know what I strive to be, but I always feel pressured when someone trust me to do something because I always think the person expects me to do it successfully. I try to avoid failure as possible. I can be so ashamed and hard on myself if I failed because I think the person will be disappointed to me and I can lose my reputation of having a skill in that thing and the person won't trust me to do it again.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
9 = most, 1 = least
2- to be "okay", having it together Idk what it means
7- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause I can be loyal to a person/cause when I've trusted the person/cause.
5- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative Everyone has their own uniqueness.
8- to be knowlegeable I love gaining knowledge for fun.
1- to be powerful, strong, unassailable. I don't care at all with being powerful
6- to be accomplished and successful I do want to be successful but I haven't done anything because I still don't know what I want.
9- to strive to become/behave like a good person Honestly this is the only one I relate to. But who doesn't want to be seen as a good person?
4- to be a loveable person I mean, I want to be lovable but I don't really strive on it.
3- to be loving and benevolent I don't think I'm really a loving person
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
I only related to the bolded
- I must do everything to maintain my world
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
- People have wronged and messed with me
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being rejectible
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
I relate to the bold and almost relate to the italic
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
- Weak and not being on top of things
- Failure
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
- Entanglements and losing what I have
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
In this order :
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized
- Failure
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
- Entanglements and losing what I have
The italic ones :
- Boredom and grunt work, I don't fear it but I hate it. And nobody wants to be exposed as charlatan, right? so I always openly say it if I don't have knowledge or skill on something. I won't pretend to be something that I'm not.
- I don't really fear of being needy and not being loved, but I do fear of rejection.
The rest :
- "Weak and not being on top of things" : I don't care about it at all.
- "Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost" : I fear being abandoned but in the same time if I was being abandoned it would be a chance for me to prove I could be independent and self reliant. I don't fear sadness and feeling lost at all.
- "Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough" : Well, I'm only human and I admit I'm not good enough. I can never be perfect. I have strengths and weaknesses, good qualities and bad qualities, just like everyone else. So why fear of being not good enough? I believe in improvement but not perfection. Striving for perfection is like trying to touch the sky.
If I'm a 9 I think I'm more 9w8 for this reasons :
- Like said above, I'm actually the polar opposite of 8 but I can imagine the worst version of myself is like a very unhealthy 8 because I'm sick of people treating me like a doormat and it's my turn to treat them like that just to prove I'm stronger and more dangerous than they think and they're the ones that are weak.
- I used to let people control me as a child but now as adult I don't want to be controlled. I want to prove my independence and self reliance.
- I'm not really disciplined and don't really have strong self control. I read somewhere that 9w1 are more disciplined and have better self control.
- I aknowledge my anger but never show it because I'm afraid it might lead to conflict. I choose to withdraw from the person that makes me angry and I release my anger by slamming the door, kicking chair/tables, punching walls, etc without saying a word. But when someone notice what I did I would feel ashamed.
- I always defend my friends and family even if they're wrong. I'm not sure about this though, but I find myself always defend a celebrity I love even if they're wrong.
- I read that when 9w8 is late they tend to blame the situation. That's what I do more often when I'm late.
If I'm a 6 I think I'm more 6w7 for this reasons :
- I often feel a bit "depressed" when I can't find anything interesting to do.
- I often have thoughts "If only I can stop letting my fears control me I could live my life to the fullest and having more exciting adventures".
- I'm expressive, playful, and childlike.
- Sometimes I can be self centered.
- Freedom for me is never letting your fears stop you from what you want to do. I really hope I can achieve it.
- I like to try new things but never intend to master it.
- I'm scatterbrained.
Ok that's it.
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules