Ok I think I have found some characteristics of my behavior/self which have been pretty stable. It is related to work behavior. I'm changing a bit when getting older though. But this was pretty stable when younger.
I seriously dislike the situation where it is unclear what I should do next. E.g. I have finished everything I needed to do and now there are no acute deadlines and there are many things that I could start doing but it is unclear which of them is most important and acute. Which goals should I pursue next. My mind becomes scattered and I start doing many things at once bouncing from one work item to another to yet another trying to somehow grasp which of them is most important and changing my mind all the time. At the end of the day I have done many many things but unsure what exactly did I achieve and did I do the things which were most important. And this feeling of not knowing if chose the right path makes me unhappy and critical towards myself. As I would like to be effective and not waste effort.
It is hard for me to sit down and start planning and prioritizing things. I would just like to do work and make progress. I feel every minute I sit down planning on what to do is wasted (which is of course not true just a feeling). I know some people can spend a LOT of time planning what to do. When I'm planning something I somehow hear the clock ticking faster and faster and irritation growing. I just want to get to doing things fast and plan while I do them. I definately need some help in these situations. Someone to guide me on what path to choose and make me trust that it is the right path. The minute I lose my faith in the chosen path I will jump to next...and to next....
Now I like a situation when there are acute things to do. Deadlines are getting closer and lots of work to be done. There is no time to plan. I just have to get everything done before the deadline. A situation where I'm like a wounded animal in a blind alley. I only have one way to go and I have to fight my way out. There is no thinking about "what should I do next?" It is clear what I should do and that I should do it fast. In these situations my brain starts working faster and faster and faster and I become more and more determined. It is like a dynamic battlefield which I can see in my mind and my job is to win the battle. I can actually prioritize things much better too when there is heavy time pressure on me. It just somehow becomes obvious what to do next. And I get a lot of satisfaction for reaching my "target"/"winning the battle against time".
Now this applies to short time range but to longer time range as well. E.g. I might have 2 months to finish a job and if I know the time is short the "battle mode" is activated and I concentrate totally on this "mission". There were times when I dedicated pretty much every second of my time to get the job done for quite a long period. So as long as it is clear what to do when I wake up next day I'm effective and can work 7 days a week with huge hours. Whenever deadline pressure is not there or it becomes unclear what the goal exactly is I start to lose motivation and jump from thing to thing with no clear direction. Setting goals and soon discarding them.
One of my favourite work environments was a tightly knitted team that is given a goal/problem and a set time to reach the goal/solve the problem. And then the team is unleashed like a combat unit or a sports team. I had this kind of environment for some time in my life and it was great. Generally it is hard to find a place where people are dedicating themselves to the team and to the goal in the way I would like though. It is hard for me to work in a team which is somehow "scattered", not very effective and not dedicated to the "cause". In these situations I tend to become mentally a bit detached from the team.
Well can you relate at all or come up with some type or functional analysis?