Quote Originally Posted by Blue View Post
I'm very much like this. Do you find this is only common with sx types or are other instinctual types not predisposed to act this way? It's a very insatiable thing for me too. Even when I try to put it down and do something else, I find myself being helplessly drawn back to it. I really wish I could turn it off sometimes, but I never can.
I do think that our instincts work in all aspects of our lives, and that is the sx drive so to speak, so those with lower drive would not experience this as much imo. Everyone has and uses all 3 of the instincts like the video @Aylen posted went into, so any kind of passionate interest has elements of sx in it. However, I think those with sx primary are the ones who go full-on obsessive about things like you said, "being helplessly drawn back"

I'm not really like this towards friends, because truthfully I don't find my friends all that interesting. Maybe one or two, and I love our interactions together, but most not much, and I can be a bit closed off to those other friends too. In this sense, I can be a bit possessive (that's a bit strong of a word, but I do feel that's an element of sx) with those special friends, where I want them to have all their focus on me, and only have love for me, and no other friends, so like you say, I selfishly guard that, but I don't have to know every crevice of their heart and mind either.
Well, with my friends, it's mostly social instinct in play. I want to connect, and be with them, enjoy their company and get to know them, and it's not in the same way that I would if I was interested in them romantically. I really only go all-in when the people are romantic interests. Trust, understanding and a sense of togetherness or camaraderie with someone is really what I like about platonic friendships, and all of those things fall into the social realm. (I added an sx-friendship explanation because some people were saying they directed their sx into their friendships. Mine goes into my mental interests and my romantic relationships but not noticeably into my friendships)

With sx, it feels more like a hooking mechanism. Do you agree? I'm always searching for that "thing" that draws me in, hooks me, and then once I find it, I'm totally into it, in very unhealthy ways. It's very selective. I don't really think of it as lust per se, though, because it's a lot more mental for me. Would that still be sx or something else?
Yes, I agree, and do think that it can be mental as well. It's a draw or a hook like you said, something that pulls you in completely.

I also don't really think of myself as a "sexual" person. I do not have sex dripping from my eyes, at least I don't think so, or feel I have to look hot and sexy, because I'm not really looking for a mate at the moment. If I was, I would put more energy into it, and certainly wouldn't want to not look hot towards potential partners, but is that really a requirement for sx? What if you were married or already in a relationship? You wouldn't necessarily be sending out mating call signals then either. I know that this wasn't your point, but I don't see why it has to be a requirement for one to be sx and seems to be focusing too much on external appearances, not that there aren't differences in how the types appear too but seems a bit restrictive.
I agree with all of this as well. I don't think that looking sexy or provocative is a requirement, especially because it is selective, and like you said if you already have someone why would you still be sending out all those signals? I think though that there's an energy involved, and it's not even necessarily physical, it's not what a person looks like nor is it about being physically attractive in general, it's about libido in the psychological sense not the physical sense, as in an energy propelling you towards (or away from) something or someone. I think this can also be in areas other than interpersonal relationships, but I think this energy can be read by others, that it comes out especially when you're focused on your interest, but is still apparent in the background otherwise to those who are aware of it.