Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
...Fe can be about finding...your role...


Sexual (aka “Attraction”) Instinct

Many people originally identify themselves as this type because they have learned that the Sexual types are interested in “one-on-one relationships.” But all three instinctual types are interested in one-on-one relationships for different reasons, so this does not distinguish them. The key element in Sexual types is an intense drive for stimulation and a constant awareness of the “chemistry” between themselves and others. Sexual types are immediately aware of the attraction, or lack thereof, between themselves and other people. Further, while the basis of this instinct is related to sexuality, it is not necessarily about people engaging in the sexual act. There are many people that we are excited to be around for reasons of personal chemistry that we have no intention of “getting involved with.” Nonetheless, we might be aware that we feel stimulated in certain people’s company and less so in others. The sexual type is constantly moving toward that sense of intense stimulation and juicy energy in their relationships and in their activities. They are the most “energized” of the three instinctual types, and tend to be more aggressive, competitive, charged, and emotionally intense than the Self-Pres or Social types. Sexual types need to have intense energetic charge in their primary relationships or else they remain unsatisfied. They enjoy being intensely involved—even merged—with others, and can become disenchanted with partners who are unable to meet their need for intense energetic union. Losing yourself in a “fusion” of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.
That description doesn't fit me.

Social (aka “Adaptive”) Instinct

Just as many people tend to misidentify themselves as Sexual types because they want one-on-one relationships, many people fail to recognize themselves as Social types because they get the (false) idea that this means always being involved in groups, meetings, and parties. If Self-Preservation types are interested in adjusting the environment to make themselves more secure and comfortable, Social types adapt themselves to serve the needs of the social situation they find themselves in. Thus, Social types are highly aware of other people, whether they are in intimate situations or in groups. They are also aware of how their actions and attitudes are affecting those around them. Moreover, Sexual types seek intimacy, Social types seek personal connection: they want to stay in long-term contact with people and to be involved in their world. Social types are the most concerned with doing things that will have some impact on their community, or even broader domains. They tend to be warmer, more open, engaging, and socially responsible than the other two types. In their primary relationships, they seek partners with whom they can share social activities, wanting their intimates to get involved in projects and events with them. Paradoxically, they actually tend to avoid long periods of exclusive intimacy and quiet solitude, seeing both as potentially limiting. Social types lose their sense of identity and meaning when they are not involved with others in activities that transcend their individual interests.
"They are also aware of how their actions and attitudes are affecting those around them."
Psh, not really.

"Sexual types seek intimacy, Social types seek personal connection"
Same thing. Connect deeply and that's intimate.

"they want to stay in long-term contact with people and to be involved in their world."
This is true.

Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
Edit: Just read Aylen's post, and from those descriptions sp/so could fit you, yes? The earth quality you described in yourself, etc. So, maybe I wrong as to which of your instincts is primary. Idk, whichever you think best fits.
Sp in sp/so

Understanding the need for both solidarity and solitude, sp/so strikes a balance between self-sufficiency and social connection. Their level-headed quality attracts people to them; they're wanted for their stability and ability to pull people back to earth. Equipped with a "if you want something done, do it yourself" attitude, they prefer to take care of their own issues, but may appease others in order to get ahead. Approachable yet self-assertive, sp/so can be relied on to be a rock in the storm.
Well, the rock-in-the-storm comment fits me. I want to be a reliable one so when someone's life falls apart, they can see, "Well, at least Abbie's basically the same."
Someone once wrote in my yearbook for me never to change, and I took them seriously.

Soc in sp/so

The sp/so will use their Soc connection to a greater whole to provide a stable resource to support their Sp lifestyle. Though preferring to mind their own business, they will readily take on social responsibilities or situations if it doesn't intrude on their inner boundaries. Although Soc-second, this stacking tends to handle people better than so/sp, since their sp needs are established clearly, while so/sp is usually oblivious that they have sp inhibitions at all.
I suppose this describes my shallow side, but there is not focus or neuroticism in this. This is just how I interact with acquaintances.

Sx-Blindness

Sx-blinds have a far gentler approach to interpersonal relationships, and are sometimes unsure and cautious in approaching someone they are attracted to. When in a close relationship, they may have trouble or insecurity in showing enough intimacy, and tend to compensate for this through acts of service(so) or advice and stability (sp) for their loved ones and/or partners. Sx blinds also have the tendency to "compartmentalize" their relationships, separating them and putting them into "boxes" (e.g. work acquaintances, online friends, real life friends, etc. are separated).
Well, I have a gentle approach to relationships. But I don't know about the "attracted to" bit because I don't know what that means.
I don't show intimacy when it's expected, namely in romantic relationships. But I still don't believe asexuality equates to sx-blind any more than kinkiness equates to sp-blind.
I think I do use the mailing system to show affection. But my close friends are all physically distant, so I don't know how that relates to the compensation point.
I am slow to show intimacy, but I am slow to feel intimacy.
I do compartmentalize my relationships. For example on Facebook I have groups based on sociotype, family, spiritual family, local, international, etc. But I think that would be more related to Te or even E1: taking advantage of an organizational system.
In my own mind, I sort them in tiers based on closeness, as I mentioned.