Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
An Overview of Sx

The Sexual Instinct, above all, seeks stimulation, whether it be physical, mental emotional, etc. This, most of the time, manifests as a want; a need for someone, to be intimate with and to fulfill their inner desires, or "make them whole".

When Sx finds someone, it knows it wants them, without hesitating to consider the consequences or background of the person. It wants unlimited connection and intimacy with that person, usually, but not necessarily in a sexual or romantic sense, and caters all their actions toward this person, e.g. making the first move in a relationship.

Some authors have sought to tame this Instinct with new names, such as Intimate or One-to-One, but any attempt at reworking the Instinct into something wholesome/spiritual/romantic misses the mark: the Sexual Instinct is an unbridled narcotic of wanting, untethered by ethics/morality.

The most common metaphor for Sx is a burning flame; a raging fire that keeps itself alive by seeking fuel to feed it. On the other hand, Sx can also be represented as rushing water; a river that seeks nothing more than to find its ocean, someone to lose itself into.

Health Levels

(impacts Sx dominants the most)

Healthy Sx

Advancing Relationships

When healthy, Sx can deepen and strengthen relationships and interpersonal bonds, and steadily ringing intimacy levels to greater and greater heights until satisfaction; like a tight-knit family. The Sx user is adequately stimulated, and confident and caring towards their loved ones and intimates. They have a natural magnetism which draws people in, and can control themselves well.

Average Sx

Fixation and Stimulation

The Sx Instinct starts to become (what it deems as) understimulated and dependent on others, whether it be their close friends or acquaintences, to supply it with energy and life, much like a vampire. Instead of deepening their bonds, the Sx user starts to form "fixations", in which they not only want their person-of-choice's love and attention, but their "soul" as well. This can be overwhelming for some, and can ironically drive people away with the intensity.

Unhealthy Sx

Obsession and Desperation

The Sx instinct becomes drastically understimulated and desperate for love and/or stimulation, and would go to extreme lengths to attain it. This could lead the Sx user down dangerous paths, such as drug abuse or promiscuity. They become an "adrenaline junkie", and this attitude often puts off others and drives them away, and if the Sx user cannot find adequate stimulation to sate their desires, they will eventually sink into despair.
I could relate to bits of the sx overview. I could relate more to the healthy and average descriptions

Sx in sx/sp

The sx/sp will only *truly* care about those they are close to, and try to push for more and more intimate relationships between people they already know. The energy from this type is given a laser-focused control by the sp, and seeks stimulation, but in a relatively safe way. This stacking is more willing to be friendly or "fake" soc, in order to attract potential friends or intimates. They build upon the (often few) close relationships they already have; many sx/sps have fantasies of whisking away their loved ones to a secluded place where they can do whatever they want, undisturbed by the world.
This. This! This is me. "in a relatively safe way" and "only truly caring about those I'm close to" and doing the social to spot potential targets for real interaction, and once I have a close relationship I would prefer to build on it rather than reach out to more people (which may be why God takes them away).

Sx in sx/so

The sx/so will often seem like they are driven by pure, uninhibited sx, luring people in and trapping them, much like a Venus Flytrap. This stacking is more prone to dependency, bringing awkward intensity into a group, and dragging "fixations" into it. It waits to see whatever looks nice to grab onto, and will fixate until either the target or the sx/so is drained. Sx/so might look desperate to others. Their energy is akin to battering-rams, charging into relationships and breaking walls until they fall, only to get back up again and continue bashing.
Nope.

Sx in so/sx

The so/sx will have a similar charm and magnetism to the sx/so, but is generally softer and friendlier, ready to take things more steadily instead of rushing headfirst into things. The so/sx will enter a group, and scatter interpersonal energy (Sx) to a more focused area, and form close bonds with their people of choice. However, it would take a while for them to put their sx relations as a priority, and even longer for them to admit it (more commonly in Fe users).
Oh, this could fit me too. That's a good description of how I do what I mentioned above.

Sx in sp/sx

Sx in sp/sx seems to be weak and almost non-existent at first, since they themselves always come first. They will never put somebody else before their own needs, even if they're their closest friend. Instead of building a castle with their close ones inside like the sx/sp, they build walls around themselves first, secretly hoping for someone to come in. However, this often puts people off becoming closer to them, leaving them alone.
Nope.

Sx-Blindness

Sx-blinds have a far gentler approach to interpersonal relationships, and are sometimes unsure and cautious in approaching someone they are attracted to. When in a close relationship, they may have trouble or insecurity in showing enough intimacy, and tend to compensate for this through acts of service(so) or advice and stability (sp) for their loved ones and/or partners. Sx blinds also have the tendency to "compartmentalize" their relationships, separating them and putting them into "boxes" (e.g. work acquaintances, online friends, real life friends, etc. are separated).
Sort of, but sx/sp and so/sx are the clear winners here.


Sp in sx/sp

Sp in sx/sp acts as both a restraint and a safety net for the stacking. As Sx seeks out intense experiences and people, Sp serves to keep it in check, making sure the sx/sp doesn't exert themself, and if they do, they are aware of the consequences. If the sx/sp goes understimulated or crashes and burns, Sp is there to make sure that they can support themselves by themselves, at least until they can recover.
I didn't relate to most of the sp stuff, but I can kinda relate to this.

Sp-blinds have a lighter, more flighty approach to life. Other-directed instead of self-directed, they tend to be more dependent on others, whether they would like to admit it or not. Though they can be private people, they tend to be more reckless and heedless of consequences than other types. Lacking roots to plant into the ground, they can break up the monotony of mundane everyday life, but are lazy/avoidant of their own domestic needs.
This isn't me.


An Overview of Soc

The Social Instinct, above all, is the desire to belong to a greater whole. This often manifests as a desire for fame, recognition, attention, connections and the validation/esteem gained from them, or to make an impact on the world.

Soc fears rejection and shunning, varying its approach and actions to blend in with the group, whether it be climbing the social ladder or helping others and doing good. Soc feels a strong sense of loyalty to the group or community it's in, especially if it feels appreciated and loved.

Soc connects with others through mutual bonding activities, and getting to know one another at a chosen pace. It seeks stable connections with others, whether for the sake of connecting with others or for their own sake. The interpersonal dance between people from all walks of life.

A common metaphor for Soc is fresh air; it is expansive, and travels far and wide, searching for others of its kind. It also brings forth sunlight; it shines on the Earth, bringing a gleam to all it touches.


Health Levels


(impacts Soc dominants the most)


Healthy Soc

Actively Contributing to Society

When healthy, Soc is selfless, though not self-destructive, and the Soc user is regularly seen doing social work, like participating in community movements or doing missionary work overseas. The Soc user is good-natured and affectionate, with an array of friends and acquaintances, traversing the social realm with grace and ease.

Average Soc

Friendly and Networking

The Soc Instinct becomes less confident in itself in the social realm, and may start to develop social anxiety, worrying what others think of them. At the same time, it becomes generous and amicable, but only if it serves to improve their status and reputation. If the Soc user is without a group or network to support them, they become listless and wandering, searching for something to be a part of.


Unhealthy Soc

Antisocial Attitudes

The Soc Instinct is lost, shunned and/or rejected by others, and starts to develop antisocial tendencies, withdrawing and resenting others or society at large for putting them in such a situation. This attitude further drives others away, burning the bridges between them and human contact altogether.
I relate to the soc overview (with the desire for connections). I've felt that community loyalty and tend to stick around in communities after most regulars have left, naively clinging to what is gone.

I could sort of relate to the healthy soc, but not to average or unhealthy.

I like having a diverse network of friends. But each connection is on a 1-1 basis.

Soc in so/sx

So/sx has the ability to see everyone simultaneously in relation to a greater whole, but also as individuals. Without any Sp to inhibit its Soc agenda, it can be as free as it wants to be when navigating the social realm. Like a bird in the sky, the so/sx seeks out flocks of people to be a part of, and picks out one or a few people to be best friends with. The cycle repeats, and the so/sx slowly but surely gains a circle of quality friendships.
I relate to this to an extent in that I've done that. But I don't enjoy it. Repeating the cycle is in defeat and out of necessity.

Soc-blinds have difficulty seeing the need to make new connections (not necessarily the same as friendships) and network. Seen as aloof and stand-offish, they often come with a lack of engagement with people, or an attitude in doing so. They are generally unafraid of going "against the grain" and of social rejection, ignoring social conventions, usually leading to a rocky relationship with authorities. They have no need to be a part of a society or community, presenting an outsider-looking-in perspective.
It's complicated.
I see a need to make new connections. Partially because I may feel short on connections, partly because of the possibility of really connecting with someone. And it's rare, but if I don't make the first connection I'll never get that, so it's a worthwhile gamble. And often people will choose to connect with me, and I don't turn people away.
I don' think I'm seen as aloof or stand-offish.
I do ignore social conventions, but usually in a passive way that doesn't cause rocky relationships (only disapproval or amusement).
I do want to be part of a community...a community of outsiders-looking-in.


Thank you, Aylen. That was an excellent post.