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Thread: Duality is not about Understanding...

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    Default Duality is not about Understanding...

    Duality is not about understanding but support according the articles section. Just posting because often I see ppl trying to look for "natural understanding" in duality just to get frustrated.

    1. Support.

    Ni/Se
    Ne/Si
    Fi/Te
    Fe/Ti

    This looks as complementing of one partner’s weak traits by the strong ones of the other. Often people wonder: “What makes them work together, or be friends, they are so different!” However, understanding is not always good in this kind of relations: when one has already understood everything, the other needs to be persuaded, which takes time. More often partners trust each other, because 'he anyway knows and manages it better than me'.

    X

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    From the very beginning we need to make a note that Socionics describes only one aspect of relationships - the circulation of informational signals between psychological types (and the resulting interactions). All the rest, including the factors of gender, age, social status - may influence them and even distort them, but even under such distorting circumstances one can observe that the same information (or action) is perceived by different people in different ways.
    This needs to be pinned at the top of the forum. Too many people overlook this fact.
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    This is interesting
    though im a little confused since it says “understanding is not always good,” but it also says “when one has already understood everything”

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    I'll take care of this for you kind of thing.
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    If a dual has different values from yours, you wouldn't support them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    Duality is not about understanding but support according the articles section. Just posting because often I see ppl trying to look for "natural understanding" in duality just to get frustrated.

    "1. Support.

    Ni/Se
    Ne/Si
    Fi/Te
    Fe/Ti

    This looks as complementing of one partner’s weak traits by the strong ones of the other. Often people wonder: “What makes them work together, or be friends, they are so different!” However, understanding is not always good in this kind of relations: when one has already understood everything, the other needs to be persuaded, which takes time. More often partners trust each other, because 'he anyway knows and manages it better than me'.

    X"
    This is an oversimplification, and it seems to confuse two different meanings of "understanding".

    People from the same quadra have similar priorities and values, so they have better mutual understanding in this way. By contrast, when someone cares about the element of your vulnerable function it is very very hard to understand why they care (at an instinctive level - you can come to understand it intellectually). This is usually what people mean by "understanding" someone in the case of a relationship.

    But of course this doesn't mean that you understand how your suggestive function's element works, and yes it does involve persuasion or coaxing at times depending on how stubborn people are. So it's probably easier to understand other types in the same quadra because they are more similar to you, but they offer less in the way of support.

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    Se be like, why does this happen and then Ni be like because doo-do-doo.

    Se reacts like wow you're smart, do everyone know youre smart? Ni be like, No just you. Se be all like what do you mean, and then Ni inside is like, because you approached me ho.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VenusRose View Post
    This is interesting
    though im a little confused since it says “understanding is not always good,” but it also says “when one has already understood everything”
    It means that your dual understands things in areas pertaining to their strong functions that you don't understand automatically and vice versa.


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    I think it's important to note that people aren't always naturally attracted to their duals and often pass them up. There are also conditions where duality can fall apart as with any other relations.

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