I’d appreciate any input about the type of a woman I’ll describe below. I have an idea but I prefer to read your views first.
Thanks for any input, this is very important to me and if any of you think this is too long, I can make it shorter
There’s a story that I’ll tell later. Right now I’m trying to understand what kind of person she is. She’s my ex-girlfriend.
I’ll start with the characteristics I’m very sure about, and go on to less obvious ones. Sorry if not all of them are relevant to typing.
- she’s very successful in her field – she’s a journalist – and she has basically focused on her professional rather than personal life.
-she is comfortable with exercising power over subordinates – she has fired people over matters of principle – but her ultimate goal, professionally, is not to become a editor but, rather, to become an independent free-lance writer. She has no ambition to become the boss of other people.
-However, she finds it very stressful to be micro-managed by a boss whom she doesn’t respect at all. She prefers to do her own thing with as little supervision as possible.
-She’s very concerned about, and proud of, her professional standing and ethics, and shocked when she discovers that colleagues have faked news.
- she's perfectly able to interview strangers on the street but does not particularly enjoy that part of the job.
-She very clearly plans her time separating work from pleasure. She would welcome me into her house, then ask me to wait in the living room as she finished some work. After that, she’d be ready for a night of passion and extremely annoyed if work interfered.
-She felt generally far more comfortable with planning her day, her next month, and her future than with improvising – felt really stressed when she couldn’t plan ahead, and disliked changing plans in the last moment (even though her job required that very often).
-She intensively dislikes getting spontaneous phone calls. She prefers to receive a text message asking when she’d have time for a call. Likewise, she prefers to ask in advance when she could call. But then she’s happy to talk for hours.
-She has absolutely no interest in the kind of girly small talk, “what precisely have I done today” or “what clothes she was wearing” etc. She’s perfectly comfortable with “awkward silences” and dislikes pointless remarks made only to break them.
-She’s able to talk for hours, though – but always on matters of substance: the past, the plans for the future, problems at work, politics.
-she has a limited circle of very close friends to whom she’s very loyal and geographical distance plays no role. Her friends regularly consult her on their relationship problems, which she analyzes in a cool and detached way, not hesitating to criticize her friends.
-She’s constantly trying to improve her skills with courses. Her next ambition is to learn how to play the piano.
-She has a very intense sex drive, with masochistic tendencies.
-she cares a lot about eating good and expensive food, either cooking herself or going to expensive restaurants. Since she tends to put on weight, she then compensates by intense physical activity. When she’s travelling and can’t go to the gym, she puts on weight, which depresses her very much. However, she finds it very difficult to go on a diet, even when she can’t go the gym.
-Most of her books are non-fiction; however, she also reads novels, especially in times of emotional stress.
- she doesn't laugh very often but when she does, it is with a loud, spontaneous and (to me) unpleasant laugh.
Despite what I observed about her preference for planning, with regard to her own emotions she could be very volatile:
-Quite a few times, after saying that she’d prefer not to see me, she’d then change her mind and call me, saying she’d like to see me. That happened quite often.
-She’d be impatient and rude but apologize the next day – again, quite often.
-She’d tell me not to wear a particular shirt and then change her mind, saying “I was being stupid, wear that shirt if you like it”.
-She’s very hard on herself when she thinks she’s made a blunder.
-Usually she has a façade of self-confidence, but she’s also very self-critical. In private, she makes lots of self-deprecating remarks (not joking): “how can you put up with someone like me” etc.
- she does not require constant reassurance about one's feelings for her.
-She’s full of guilt about things she’s done in the past.
-She made a enormous blunder in her career when she thought she could make her boss back off a bit by threatening to resign – she totally miscalculated her own bargain power and the boss’s reaction, something I could see clearly at the time.
If any of you is interested, I can provide more information. Thanks again.