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Thread: Can you help? Am I ENFp or INFp?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Can you recall the sensations that you’ve experienced in your mind after you’ve physically experienced them? Like eating chips ice cream sex
    I'm not sure I get your question. Are you asking whether I can recall in my mind *the physical sensations* or if I recall *sensations in my mind that happened after I had the physical sensation*?
    It's hard to answer either way. If it's the former question, then I kind of can recall the physical sensation if I concentrate. I can vaguely remember what vanilla ice cream tastes and smells like. If it's the latter question, I can also remember that eating it is pleasant so I know I will have it again in the future when the mood strikes.

    Does that say anything, though?
    At this again.
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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    I'm not sure I get your question. Are you asking whether I can recall in my mind *the physical sensations* or if I recall *sensations in my mind that happened after I had the physical sensation*?
    It's hard to answer either way. If it's the former question, then I kind of can recall the physical sensation if I concentrate. I can vaguely remember what vanilla ice cream tastes and smells like. If it's the latter question, I can also remember that eating it is pleasant so I know I will have it again in the future when the mood strikes.

    Does that say anything, though?
    Si is one’s own personal sensory impressions. It’s like looking at a painting and not being able to absorb real qualities of that painting but just what made an impression or feeling on you and you alone.. in your own mind’s eye.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Si is one’s own personal sensory impressions. It’s like looking at a painting and not being able to absorb real qualities of that painting but just what made an impression or feeling on you and you alone.. in your own mind’s eye.
    Ah, okay. I thought you were hinting at that. Isn't it about competence and frequency of use of a function when it comes to socionics/mbti, though?
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    @Sol
    what do you make of this guy? I kinda low key fell for him in an instant .
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HIZAkDbC5g&t=1186s
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    @Sol
    what do you make of this guy? I kinda low key fell for him in an instant .
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HIZAkDbC5g&t=1186s
    I'd call that guy EIE, but I'm a terrible typer.

    Here, what do you think of Marc Bolan? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAtBrsdfnhs

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    Ah, okay. I thought you were hinting at that. Isn't it about competence and frequency of use of a function when it comes to socionics/mbti, though?
    It is your sensation. What feels right to you
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'd call that guy EIE, but I'm a terrible typer.
    Interesting, I got a similar vibe about him. He seems more blunt (like informal, offhand blunt, not stupid blunt) in other vids tho.
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Here, what do you think of Marc Bolan? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAtBrsdfnhs
    Ah, a good tune I haven't heard in a long while, thanks . Haven't seen the video before. He's very cute, from pictures too. Looks friendly and open, feels like I could have a lot of fun talking to him. Kinda on the same wavelength and a bit out of reach at the same time.
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    sorry Moon, I thought through this but got confused...

    I'd say that Ne and Si are valued functions for you, and by your discourses I've always thought you could be a F > T.

    This would leave us with either a gamma SF, or a delta NF. I haven't watched your video again, I don't remember if you've expressed your approach to your surrounding, or the things that set you in motion, I mean, I have a hard time figuring if you're an Extro or Intro-vert.

    For the way you look, your self containment and general manners, I'd say you could be an Introvert.. but perhaps an IEE can be similarly "quiet".

    The Psychologist is an archetype fitting both Delta NFs, sure, everyone can be, my ENTp cousin is a psychologist too, as was Aushra, and many other ESI or NFs or whatever, everyone can be everything.. but, if you have that kind of attitude, perhaps that fits to the general idea of the NF, who likes to help people out rather practically.

    I don't want to push a type upon you, but I wanted to say since the scratch that you look just like one of my mbti INFJ besties, I have no idea how to convert her into socionics, I think she's in between j/p.

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    @ooo

    No worries! If I don't get what I am, how are others supposed to know? I'm glad you want to talk to me, though, and thank you for that. I find asking and being asked questions help me see myself a bit better.

    So yeah, about valued functions, I have a question: how does one say which ones they value? Is this based on Fi-type feeling of attraction or repulsion towards a function? Or should we look at how it plays out in the open?
    I'm asking this because I'm not sure how you got Ne and Si as my valued functions from my description. Maybe I'm simply misunderstanding the term? Or maybe I was too subtle in trying to say that I pretty much dislike Si and Ne is troublesome for me.

    I agree about being F after all. I don't even know how I thought I was Te creative. I'm literally the least Te-competent person I know. I can't even buy train tickets without feeling anxious. I'm never fully prepared for such a difficult task...! How do I talk to the lady in the window? What mood is she in? What if I make a mistake and say the wrong hour? What if I forget mid-sentence the name of the place I'm supposed to go (really happens to me, not funny at all)? Ah, the horrifying rules devoid of human touch...

    As for being a psychologist --my likely ENTj mother is a professional psychologist, so you're right, anyone can be one with correct education steps taken . Anyway, I kinda always feel pushed into that role. When it works, it's nice and invigorating. But when people just want to come and complain, I wanna sign out. When I'm unable to make people see themselves better and work on improving themselves, I'm brought down to this polite listener role which I don't find fitting at all.

    At the same time, when I am in a company where I feel familiar and safe, and I don't currently play the 'psychologist' or 'teacher', I tend to be very lighthearted and goofy, I laugh all the time, I try to make people happy with my positive attitude. I don't think people see me as introverted because I can be quite energetic, especially when I am around people who are confident and decisive --it's as if I'm drawing energy from them and can transform it into fun and unusual ideas. I can be a sort of a funnel through which new ideas emerge and get realized in real life. I am well aware I can't realize many of them on my own but with a good company, anything is possible.

    During a typical week, I will spend time by myself or see my boyfriend two or three times. I live alone now and am really happy with it. If I see people three days in a row, I'm exhausted. Recently I noticed that depending on the quality of conversation, I can be tired to the point physically having to rest for a day or I can be uplifted and energized. Last week, I spent a day with my friends, discussing MBTI in a very Ti manner (they were trying to type themselves and I was helping by explaining the theory) and that was great, made me feel energized. On the other hand, when I met with a couple of other friends recently and they started talking Si stuff: literally about how they bought new vacuums and now used them routinely and even got their boyfriends to use them, I wanted to shoot myself. I have no way of relating to that. I got irritated on the inside and jokingly mentioned that I only vacuumed, like, once a month if I remembered, which created a moment of awkward silence where we all wished I hadn't just said that.

    So maybe that answers the question whether I'm I or E lead. Or not!
    At this again.
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    Oh, and one more thing came to mind! Almost all my relationships to date were with introverts. In the beginning, I create that image of myself that's energetic and lively. It's something I can't keep up with for longer periods of time though. When you see me in passing, during random meetings, I may appear bouncy and lively but the reality of day to day life is so different. I have a lot of energy but not enough for 2 people to live off of. So as my relationships went on, they ended up in a place where we were both just sitting on the sofa, playing video games, which is fine, by the way, but I've always longed for a partner who would pull me out of the sofa when I sink in too deep rather than sink in with me. Never got that person, I guess because I never show that passive and fragile part of myself in the stage when people assess each other, so I come off much more energetic than I really am.
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    Oh, and one more thing came to mind! Almost all my relationships to date were with introverts. In the beginning, I create that image of myself that's energetic and lively. It's something I can't keep up with for longer periods of time though. When you see me in passing, during random meetings, I may appear bouncy and lively but the reality of day to day life is so different. I have a lot of energy but not enough for 2 people to live off of. So as my relationships went on, they ended up in a place where we were both just sitting on the sofa, playing video games, which is fine, by the way, but I've always longed for a partner who would pull me out of the sofa when I sink in too deep rather than sink in with me. Never got that person, I guess because I never show that passive and fragile part of myself in the stage when people assess each other, so I come off much more energetic than I really am.
    This is exactly the problem with Introvert-Introvert relationships.

    *EDIT* I've seen two ESI-ILI relationships closely. One couple is married, the other is not. The ESI in the unmarried couple told me that the problem with his relationship was that both he and the ILI would sit in a room and wait for the other to start something, which they just never did.

    The married ESI-ILI couple invites me to visit them for a week or two at a time, because when I'm there, everyone is doing something and going somewhere. I've been friends with the ILI for thirty years, and his wife, of course, is my dual and so is basically perfectly easy to hang around with for almost any amount of time.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-02-2019 at 04:00 PM.

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    That's what I thought. Thanks for confirming.
    At this again.
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    Yo. I've remembered that in the mean time I recorded two videos where I'm talking with another person. Since this was suggested to me way back in this thread, I thought I'd post them. They were intended for a group about another typology that my friend and I both moderate. Sort of an educational material. Explaining stuff to people is something I feel good in so this should show me in a pretty natural and neutral state, as opposed to the previous videos which were recorded soon after my dear Grandma's death. I was at a very low point at that time and it could have influenced the way I talked.

    This is part one:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO9-WdUNipw

    And this is part two:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S289jfMIH-k

    Please note that my underbite and facial asymmetry is now very pronounced due to orthodontic treatment and this state influences the way my mouth works and looks to a significant degree..
    At this again.
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    Summon @Sol
    Who else thinks they're good at VI?
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    what do you make of this guy?
    some N

    for such questions is better to create themes in famouses section
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    some N

    for such questions is better to create themes in famouses section
    Meh, I'm over him already .

    I summoned you for the two videos of myself I linked in a post above. Would appreciate it if you could take a look.
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    Yo. I've remembered that in the mean time I recorded two videos where I'm talking with another person. Since this was suggested to me way back in this thread, I thought I'd post them. They were intended for a group about another typology that my friend and I both moderate. Sort of an educational material. Explaining stuff to people is something I feel good in so this should show me in a pretty natural and neutral state, as opposed to the previous videos which were recorded soon after my dear Grandma's death. I was at a very low point at that time and it could have influenced the way I talked.

    This is part one:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO9-WdUNipw

    And this is part two:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S289jfMIH-k

    Please note that my underbite and facial asymmetry is now very pronounced due to orthodontic treatment and this state influences the way my mouth works and looks to a significant degree..
    IEE or IEI. This is definitely not the most helpful comment considering the title of your thread, back to square one, tak! I think IEE> IEI at the moment, I will watch your videos again to see if I would change my mind and explain my reasoning later.

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    Hey, thanks @myresearch! Back to square one is what it is. Although maybe it's square 1.5 becasue nowadays I'd go for another introverted type to pick from instead of IEE. Perhaps SEI or LII. The more I read and analyze and try to get out of my head to see myself more clearly, the I'm more and more certain I'm xI dom rather than xE dom.

    It would be great if you had the time to check back again and share your ideas. Thanks again.
    At this again.
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    Since I forget everything, I revisited this thread and rewatched your video.

    I’ve already said you are introverted from the way you dive deep inside your head when searching for answers. I will add that I think your avatar picture is very Si. It seems to personify calmness, isolation, and order.

    This Si might be why I ventured SEI earlier, but now I don’t think so.

    While watching your video, I thought “Not Beta, not Gamma.” Sometimes your face would fall into expressions that I’ve seen on LSE’s faces, and since I think you are intuitive rather than a sensor and your vintage clothing line points to a preoccupation with a more formal and floral past, I now think you are EII. I also think you might be an enneagram 9.

    *EDIT*
    Whoops. I just saw in your signature that you are e9. That’s what I get for not paying close attention.

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    among F types you associate with E*FP ones

    P.S. I should to have relatives in Poland. father of my grandfather by father migrated there after 1917. they may to keep my sirname
    Last edited by Sol; 04-05-2019 at 02:12 AM.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Since I forget everything, I revisited this thread and rewatched your video.
    You mean the old one? Gosh, that thing was recorded when I was so low. Did you see the newer ones I posted a couple of posts above?

    I’ve already said you are introverted from the way you dive deep inside your head when searching for answers. I will add that I think your avatar picture is very Si. It seems to personify calmness, isolation, and order. This Si might be why I ventured SEI earlier, but now I don’t think so.
    Ah, that username and avatar are completely random. I normally take some time to think about these things when registering on forums but this time it was like, oh, this is a pretty picture I have laying around on my desktop, let's use it. I do like it though. It's not really a good representation of myself, sadly. I wish I was so zen.

    While watching your video, I thought “Not Beta, not Gamma.” Sometimes your face would fall into expressions that I’ve seen on LSE’s faces ...
    You're very observant, Adam Strange, I like you. My face sometimes scares me in the way it can appear, it's usually out of my control. My asymmetry is visible enough that I make different expressions with each side of my face. I have learned to face people with my better half but when two halves are still attached to me, it can prove difficult . On a good day, the flat side looks like a hawk with severe judgment in its eyes and the 'normal' side looks like a fluffy kitten wanting to play. (Side note: I have also learned how to smile so that it looks pretty or prettier anyway. Before I started writing a style blog, my expressions were a bit different --I had to learn to do something with that face because I moslty looked dumbfounded and angry at the same time in the photos.) Add braces and currently pronounced underbite to this whole amalgam and some days when I look at myself, all I see is my LSI friend.

    Photo for proof. From a random shoot for my shop, this is no hand-picked 'the best' vs 'the worst' angle. The left is what I identify with. The right is my underbite. I think it influences the way I appear to others but reflects poorly on what I am on the inside.

    IMG_8329-2dbl.jpg

    Side note. I wonder if talking about two sides of my face as of two different entities means I don't accept half of myself and as a result, don't see myself as a whole. If in objective reality I don't accept half of myself while btw., I honestly feel like I accept the whole of myself, how much of a denial am I living in? How much do we not know about ourselves? gosh

    I also now wonder if having two different sides of a face could mean a person was born with one type but nurtured to be another.
    jk
    (Not really, I will wonder about this but probably won't find any resources to back this up.)

    and since I think you are intuitive rather than a sensor and your vintage clothing line points to a preoccupation with a more formal and floral past, I now think you are EII. I also think you might be an enneagram 9.
    Also thanks for checking out my store! I try to include as many quirky items I find but vintage in Poland is hard to come by so I usually just include what I find that is both vintage and pretty in general. My personal aesthetic would be this board. Btw, if we're talking about aesthetics, this is my blog.

    *EDIT*
    Whoops. I just saw in your signature that you are e9. That’s what I get for not paying close attention.
    Enneagram was so easy to figure out. Why aren't cognitive functions? I have so much better access to my motivations (enneagram) than to whatever cognitive functions are. What are they, really? Which part of the psyche do they describe? I still don't think I fully get it.
    Last edited by ToTheMoon; 04-05-2019 at 10:27 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    among F types you associate with E*FP ones
    Oh-kay! And do you have a fave for me among non F types?

    P.S. I should to have relatives in Poland. father of my grandfather by father migrated there after 1917. they may to keep my sirname
    What does it say about me when I internally get an 'oh boy, here he comes' moment and roll my eyes each time someone gets excited to tell me about their ancestry?
    Like, SNORE. Yes, we have roots in different countries and our ancestors migrated and we're related to many different ethnicities, so what?
    That's not directed at you, btw, it's just a recount of what I would think but would never share irl. IRL, I will listen to your stories with a smile on my face and bore myself to internal tears but your excitement is worth it. Also I'll forget everything you told me.
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    lol

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    I took the shortened version of Talanov test for the first time today and I got IEI and I don't get it.
    The results say I'm way more Ne than Ni and almost the same Fi as Fe. It says my Ne is way up high and my Ni is lower than the average IEI. But it still says IEI. Is it because my Fe is through the roof while my Fi is mediocre for average IEI? I presume if I'd answered more valuing toward Si while keeping the rest as it is, I'd be SEI, is that right? ETA: and if I answered more Fi valuing, I'd probably test as IEE, my second possible type. Interesting.

    talanov-1.jpgtalanov-2.jpg

    Now would someone please yell at me and tell me to go to work instead of wasting my time on stupid and unnecessary things like socionics?
    Last edited by ToTheMoon; 04-05-2019 at 10:29 AM.
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    And do you have a fave for me among non F types?
    ENTP. this is close to LII assumed before
    for ESTP you are not weird enough

    > What does it say about me when I internally get an 'oh boy, here he comes' moment and roll my eyes each time someone gets excited to tell me about their ancestry?

    probably you have problematic relations with your family
    or do not care what happens with other people, in general, though surfacely relations mb normal

    "Likes ToTheMoon liked this post"
    ooo's type is IEI, so her emotionality style should be attractive for you in case Ti type
    Last edited by Sol; 04-05-2019 at 11:33 PM.
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    Oh Sol, you just don't, listen, do you <3
    You hard-headed goof!
    At this again.
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    maybe you IEI moony : ) play with it, see how it fits you?

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    I would but I fear the forum won't let me!

    Not good enough for IEI.
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    I would but I fear the forum won't let me!

    Not good enough for IEI.

    No one who matters gives a shit. Everyone knows better, don't they?

    Don't let them squeeze you into a box and don't do it to yourself either. Like ooo said, play with it. See if it works with your intertype relations and your perspective. If it doesn't fit move on. That's part of the learning curve imo

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi View Post
    No one who matters gives a shit. Everyone knows better, don't they?

    Don't let them squeeze you into a box and don't do it to yourself either. Like ooo said, play with it. See if it works with your intertype relations and your perspective. If it doesn't fit move on. That's part of the learning curve imo
    Heheh, I was kinda jk with the previous post. I've been in a playful and teasing mood these past few days. Thanks for your encouragment, tho! It's a nice perspective and not a common one here, I think.
    I did what you're suggesting with SLI a month ago or two. Took it in and tested it out. It didn't work. Sooo didn't work. That's why I'm back. I'll play the game again.

    Also thanks for the honest look on what's happening around here. After all my experiences with boards like this (and on so many different topics too!), it's amazingly naive of me that I keep seeking out places like this and getting into the same situations time after time. I should know better but alas! I'm a believer in humans and always hope the next place will be *the one*.
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    Heheh, I was kinda jk with the previous post. I've been in a playful and teasing mood these past few days.
    lol I'm too dumb for jokes today

    Also thanks for the honest look on what's happening around here. After all my experiences with boards like this (and on so many different topics too!), it's amazingly naive of me that I keep seeking out places like this and getting into the same situations time after time. I should know better but alas! I'm a believer in humans and always hope the next place will be *the one*.
    Same. I keep coming back...
    You're welcome :')

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    As far as V.I. goes I think you definitely look Delta NF.

    I was sold on IEE at first but after seeing the video and reading your backstory with your mom I’m thinking EII. I can’t think of any IEE that would deal with it -your mom- so passively. IMO that seems more on par with EII and Se PoLR.

    Anyways, you seem like a really nice person.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



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    Thanks @Vice! I have nothing against being any type, really, so delta nf is fine by me! That said, I keep being confused at where so many of you are seeing either Base or Creative Fi. I have a hard time accessing this function internally and that's why it weirds me out when I hear it is so pronounced in my expressions. I'd appreciate it if you could share what it is that made you think Fi dom for me. Thanks!
    At this again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    You hard-headed goof!
    To do not like critique and to be inadequate in Fi is expected for ILE.
    In case you'd did IR test as was recommended mb this type would be more clear.

    be lesser touchy, soft-headed one

    Quote Originally Posted by Vice View Post
    As far as V.I. goes I think you definitely look Delta NF.
    F type is very doubtful to name people as "environment". Delta F types have better maneurs.
    Also she prefered F types in IR test, - Fe ones mostly.

    EII... I suspect some betas just tend to put any weird persons to my holly duals. No way!
    Last edited by Sol; 04-06-2019 at 09:02 PM.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Turns out I obviously can't make an effective joke through written word. Hence confusion. This was not touchiness, Sol! It was tender teasing. I actually don't dislike you as much as many here, and I can take what you're saying with a grain of salt and form my own understanding of things-- you don't feel like a threat to me. I guess you do to some others.
    I actually prefer your tone, however many eyerolls I might make while reading your posts, to the tone of more Fi-oriented users on here. You sound like a buffoon and I like and appreciate buffoons. Fi users sound like aristocrat-wannabees to me and that's harder to take for me.

    Given what I've just said, I tend to agree that I'm not EII nor IEE. I could be a T type but you don't seem to think I'm good at argumenting my stances and I don't disagree. I like analyzing things randomly in my head but to put it into writing requires an amount of effort that I rarely want to undertake.

    Also the way I understand Fe, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, is that it's a function that extricates a desired mood from the surroundings through activating people in an emotional way. The desired mood can vary though, and I understand that very well. Some people require special treatment and bluntness. Others require teasing and debating. Yet others need gentleness. Personally, I like to goof around with people whose feelings don't get hurt easily and they respond well to friendly teasing. Outward displays of compassion that are required by more gentle types do not lie in my nature as they require more emotional openness which makes me feel awkward.

    So, yeah, this could point to a Thinking type somewhat. Or maybe more of a Fe type. That's what I'm thinking.

    Btw. I've just found the type descriptions by Stratiyevskaya and they're brilliant! I haven't read all of them yet but from those I have, it's clear to me that my mother is an LSE. I definitely can't be EII as that would be her dual. If what I had with her was duality, I don't want to be in that ever again . So I think another proof I'm not EII.
    Last edited by ToTheMoon; 04-07-2019 at 08:42 AM.
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    I've just experienced a very negative situation and want to share it almost live *for science*.

    I was doing some accounting on my own a couple of days ago --the part that I do on my own to send to my accountant so that she can work on it further. She has just emailed me and it turned out I missed out on a detail: when I was doing currency coversions, I only used two digits after the comma instead of four.

    No biggie, right?

    Big biggie. This is the thing:
    - I didn't know I was supposed to use all four digits; she didn't tell me
    - I am going to have to pay for her extra work and that feels like punishment for my incompetence; it's not a load of money but I never want to literally pay for mistakes like that because I feel if I wasn't told exactly what to do, I shouldn't be expected to know (side note: I know it's stupid and I can easily take responsibility for many things I do wrong, but this type of things always scares me into becoming defensive on the inside --I'd never actually come out to tell her what I think)
    - I am anxious about money this month because I spent too much on my shop last month so having additional expenses is not what I have in mind right now
    - ETA: additionally, I think my accountant is really being overly fussy about an irrelevant thing and maybe she's doing that to coerce more money from me; my friend who does her own accounting only uses the first digit for her conversions and everything's fine anyway
    - most important of all, I felt violated: someone saw the dirty undebelly of the things that I pretend I have under control on the surface but really I'm very incompetent with. This technical, formal, detail-oriented stuff that's driven by clear rules that I never know where they're going to show up --that's something that literally scares me and why I don't want to even try looking in the direction where I feel things like that could crop up.

    I literally got shaky and sweaty in this situation and acted like a puppy that got shouted at, and started apologizing to my accountant (!!!) for bringing more work to her table. Of course I know she's going to be paid for that extra work, with my money, no less, but I still felt like I needed do apologize for my incompetence. Once I regained my senses, I knew that a mature version of that apology would be a 'thank you for watching out for me!' and I probably *should* feel like this whole situation is good for me because that lady is taking care of my legal stuff and actually making me safe. But I never do. I just always feel like this goes straight to the core of my stupidity, my inability to deal with life and what a moron I am for not being able to look out for things like that like any normal person would. It feels like the world is laughing and saying: look at you, you thought you could manage your life, well, think again, you stupid, stupid thing!

    So that hits real low.

    My question is: what is this thing that scares me so much, in terms of socionics functions? Se? Si? Ti? Te? I have a hard time putting a finger on it. I hope I explained it well and hope someone can offer an explanation. Thanks.
    Last edited by ToTheMoon; 04-11-2019 at 12:09 PM.
    At this again.
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    lol, Ti!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ToTheMoon View Post
    I've just experienced a very negative situation and want to share it almost live *for science*.

    I was doing some accounting on my own a couple of days ago --the part that I do on my own to send to my accountant so that she can work on it further. She has just emailed me and it turned out I missed out on a detail: when I was doing currency coversions, I only used two digits after the comma instead of four.

    No biggie, right?

    Big biggie. This is the thing:
    - I didn't know I was supposed to use all four digits; she didn't tell me
    - I am going to have to pay for her extra work and that feels like punishment for my incompetence; it's not a load of money but I never want to literally pay for mistakes like that because I feel if I wasn't told exactly what to do, I shouldn't be expected to know (side note: I know it's stupid and I can easily take responsibility for many things I do wrong, but this type of things always scares me into becoming defensive on the inside --I'd never actually come out to tell her what I think)
    - I am anxious about money this month because I spent too much on my shop last month so having additional expenses is not what I have in mind right now
    - ETA: additionally, I think my accountant is really being overly fussy about an irrelevant thing and maybe she's doing that to coerce more money from me; my friend who does her own accounting only uses the first digit for her conversions and everything's fine anyway
    - most important of all, I felt violated: someone saw the dirty undebelly of the things that I pretend I have under control on the surface but really I'm very incompetent with. This technical, formal, detail-oriented stuff that's driven by clear rules that I never know where they're going to show up --that's something that literally scares me and why I don't want to even try looking in the direction where I feel things like that could crop up.

    I literally got shaky and sweaty in this situation and acted like a puppy that got shouted at, and started apologizing to my accountant (!!!) for bringing more work to her table. Of course I know she's going to be paid for that extra work, with my money, no less, but I still felt like I needed do apologize for my incompetence. Once I regained my senses, I knew that a mature version of that apology would be a 'thank you for watching out for me!' and I probably *should* feel like this whole situation is good for me because that lady is taking care of my legal stuff and actually making me safe. But I never do. I just always feel like this goes straight to the core of my stupidity, my inability to deal with life and what a moron I am for not being able to look out for things like that like any normal person would. It feels like the world is laughing and saying: look at you, you thought you could manage your life, well, think again, you stupid, stupid thing!

    So that hits real low.

    My question is: what is this thing that scares me so much, in terms of socionics functions? Se? Si? Ti? Te? I have a hard time putting a finger on it. I hope I explained it well and hope someone can offer an explanation. Thanks.
    This really sounds to me like Te-PoLR. You have an irrational and probably unjustified fear of making mistakes which involve money or facts. This fear is often described as feeling like “You suck at something and you know it”, but it is really having no confidence in your competence in an area, regardless of your actual competence.

    I feel the same way about Si. I probably can arrange a comfortable environment and take care of my health as well as anyone else, but I feel unconfident in these areas and I assume that absolutely everyone is better at this than I am.


    Two comments:
    One, you should get another opinion about the number of digits you need to use in your accounting. Your accountant might be incompetent or greedy or correct, we don't know but you should find out. Think of it as a detective story, which you should be excellent at researching to write.

    Two, I was talking to this woman who is a small business owner who is Te-PoLR. Her crepe pan broke and new ones cost upwards of $1000. I offered to fix it for her for free. She recoiled at my offer, saying that I probably didn't have the right electricity to test it. I told her that I have every kind of electricity and that would not be the problem if I couldn't fix it.
    She thought about it for a few seconds and refused, instead choosing to buy a new crepe pan. I could tell that she felt like my offer to fix her appliance was making her feel like I was telling her that she is stupid (when I wasn't saying or even thinking that at all), so rather than admit that she felt entirely out of her area of expertise, she paid a lot of money for a new pan that she probably didn't need. (It probably just needed a new switch, since electrical connectors are the least reliable part of any electrical apparatus.)

    That's Te-PoLR, but the feelings that you get when you stray into your PoLR area are the same for everyone.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-11-2019 at 12:25 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    lol, Ti!
    Thanks for commenting. Can you explain more about this?
    At this again.
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