Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Dual or Activity for Marriage?

  1. #1
    IQ over 150 vesstheastralsilky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    TIM
    ~°~
    Posts
    1,488
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Question Dual or Activity for Marriage?

    I know the expected answer is Dual but I'm asking for input to help me emotionally digest this and my current situation as well as past. If you could choose only one who would you pick and why? I am not asking for theory alone but your real life experiences. Then of course there is always the risk that the respondent's typings might be wrong but it is a risk that must be taken if any progress can be achieved. Many thanks for all respectful responses in advance.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

  2. #2
    "Xiong Mao"
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    A mystery
    TIM
    LII - Ne
    Posts
    424
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Marry someone you love and don't think about typology all the time.

  3. #3
    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Southwest USA
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    7,123
    Mentioned
    381 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Dual is better than activity. At least, for extroverts. I can't speak for the introverts.

    LSE
    1-6-2 so/sx
    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  4. #4
    IQ over 150 vesstheastralsilky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    TIM
    ~°~
    Posts
    1,488
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Dual is better than activity. At least, for extroverts. I can't speak for the introverts.
    I'm glad to see you make that distinction.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

  5. #5
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,934
    Mentioned
    173 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Any mature type-combination can form a successful marriage with mutual understanding and consideration; however, even with success, there can be levels of unhappiness and discontentment. I would put Activity relationships in the bottom half for potential of contentment simply because there tends to be conflicting undercurrents over priorities, methodologies and objectives; successful activity relationships seem to develop a full-time leader and follower, which suggests imbalance but for many, this would be an acceptable arrangement.......

    a.k.a. I/O

  6. #6
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    15,880
    Mentioned
    1516 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Two extroverts:
    I know a female LIE who works for a female ESI boss (duality).
    The female LIE has a common-law husband and two kids with a male SEE (activity).
    The female LIE works and argues and laughs with her ESI boss, and they always have each other’s backs.
    The LIE is separating from the SEE because he is never around, never helps her with household chores, never gives her or their sons any money, and never keeps his promises. She says that the SEE’s contribution to the relationship makes her life harder than it would be if she were by herself with her kids. How they got to this point and why they act this way is a matter of speculation.

    Two introverts:
    I, a LIE, know a female ESI who works as a librarian (duality).
    The female ESI is married to a male tax lawyer, an ILI (activity).
    When I visit the couple, the ESI and I automatically share household chores while the ILI watches his computer. She’s not my Imago, but I sometimes catch her just looking at me.
    My friend, the ILI, has complained to me that the ESI spends money recklessly and wants sex all the time (which I assume just means more often than he wants sex).
    Despite their differences, they show no signs of breaking up.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 11-27-2018 at 02:24 PM.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    13,331
    Mentioned
    1266 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    In my experience with activators I prefered even semiduals than them. I prefer quiet (I) and stable (J) people, not only values are meaningful.
    As besides the Jung's type there are other important traits and situations - there is no clear answer what is better in the concrete case. Duality/Semiduality and Activation relate to same class of good IR for marriages and long relations. Nontypes factors should be taken into account.
    In abstract case with anything equal - duality allows deeper love, better and more interesting relations. Same values, but no J/P opposing and issues of same E/I, all same values and better supplement. It's easier to establish love with such people.

    I had feelings in semiduality IR and pals commuication in mirage. Had closer than average communication with activators. Had no interest to make relations closer with activators - just nice people, easy to deal. But I never noticed significant soul attraction to them. Mb if I'd dealed with them closer - I'd changed the perception of them to more positive.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  8. #8
    Olimpia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Europe
    TIM
    So/Sx Introvert
    Posts
    7,961
    Mentioned
    715 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8 Thread(s)

    Default

    Both are fine for marriage (pretty much all same Quadra relations are), so if you find someone you love and match with (outside of Socionics) and who is from the same Quadra, consider yourself lucky, and don't hesitate going for them.

    Activity can be quite close to Duality if the subtypes match and both people are introverts. So for introverts, I'd surely recommend both (in specific individual cases, I might even recommend Activity over Duality, more on that below), not so much for extroverts. The extroverts I have come across preferred Mirror over Activity. Extroverted Activity has been quite rare in my experience. Like @FDG said before, EP+EJ is a bit too much and quite difficult to handle, IJ+IP is much easier in comparison.

    So if you are an extrovert, I'd rather recommend the other relations from your Quadra, though if you do find an Activity partner you get along with well, don't unnecessarily hold yourself back, see how it goes. If you are an introvert, Activity can be a very mutually satisfying relation, especially because your Activity partner will understand your need for "alone time" better than an extroverted Dual, so that can make Activity quite attractive and easier to manage for introverts who would prefer remaining in their natural rhythm/way of life (this applies especially to many Ij people).
    New Youtube [x] Get Typed! [x]
    Celebs [x] Theory [x] Tumblr [x]

    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  9. #9
    IQ over 150 vesstheastralsilky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    TIM
    ~°~
    Posts
    1,488
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I seem to find it easier to bond with and nestle in with introverts. What if my activity type's relation form of activity is actually rest? Lol kidding sort of. The stimulation is felt.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

  10. #10
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    North Italy
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    16,619
    Mentioned
    235 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Close relationships with EP woman - I cannot see that working long term for me. We would irritate each other quite a bit.

    There's somewhere an article from Gulenko on relationship descriptions based on ExTx, ExFx, IxTx, IxFx compatibility rather than usual quadra matches. Both ExTx+ExFx and IxTx+IxFx are considered as unstable matches.

    One on one, I recognize it's much easier for me to interact with IxFx (preferred) or ExTx types (then we take turns in leadership - except LSEs in that case it's a bit harder). With ExFx and IxTx there is something in the interaction that it's only adjusted if other modulating effects are around.
    Last edited by FDG; 11-28-2018 at 12:29 PM.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    SLE.Wait...Shit, EII
    Posts
    329
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Ive never been with an activity partner romantically and I don't see it working. Wanna say that for a short time relationship, it worked better with quasi identical strangely.
    ISTP girl attract myself often very quickly but the relationship take another turn very quickly too (just sharing anecdote, speaking a little about ourself, nothing romantical)

    From my xp (I'm not very experimented thought), better is duality + the good subtype

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    320
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    In my experience with activators I prefered even semiduals than them. I prefer quiet (I) and stable (J) people, not only values are meaningful.
    As besides the Jung's type there are other important traits and situations - there is no clear answer what is better in the concrete case. Duality/Semiduality and Activation relate to same class of good IR for marriages and long relations. Nontypes factors should be taken into account.
    In abstract case with anything equal - duality allows deeper love, better and more interesting relations. Same values, but no J/P opposing and issues of same E/I, all same values and better supplement. It's easier to establish love with such people.

    I had feelings in semiduality IR and pals commuication in mirage. Had closer than average communication with activators. Had no interest to make relations closer with activators - just nice people, easy to deal. But I never noticed significant soul attraction to them. Mb if I'd dealed with them closer - I'd changed the perception of them to more positive.
    Lol I was about to write semi-duals in my post when I saw your post. Seems like we have similar opinion about this topic.

    Based on the activators that I interact with irl, I can't see myself ever marrying an activator. Like 2 weeks ago, I met this school mate of mine who is my activator in socionics. I find them easy to talk to initially, but after 2 hours of interacting with them, I start to find them draining to be around. Activators feels a lot like roommates to me, the kind of roommates whom I clicked with and whom I can live together and get along with, but if stucked together with them for long periods of time, I start finding them draining to be around.

    With my dual, at least they don't drain my energy that way. In fact, their presence can be pretty addictive.
    If I didn't end up marrying my dual, I'd at least like to marry a semi-dual. Semi-duals are fun to be around too and their presence tend to energise me, although I find myself having a harder time closing distance with them as compared to my duals. Also, the semi-duals that I met usually turned out to be homosexuals and unavailable, unlike my dual who is attracted to my gender and is available.

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    13,331
    Mentioned
    1266 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hermit Soul View Post
    Lol I was about to write semi-duals in my post when I saw your post. Seems like we have similar opinion about this topic. Based on the activators that I interact with irl, I can't see myself ever marrying an activator.
    I saw good IEE girls and may imagine marriage with some of activators [the ones who are quiter]. But semiduality seems as more interesting after experience of feelings to such one. By the theory - suggestive is what we need and seek the most, so the most exciting feelings in base Te types should be inspired by base Fi women.
    Activators have own advantages and I'd need the similar experience for the more correct comparision. As after the time or in close relations like marriages the feelings may change. There are good and bad sides in these IR, it's hard to predict what general result would be better later. Only the duality is definetely better IR.

    > If I didn't end up marrying my dual, I'd at least like to marry a semi-dual.

    My parrents and some close neighbours have semiduality marriages. All are stable and relatively not bad, with issues that most of problematic pairs would find as funny.
    Last edited by Sol; 11-28-2018 at 10:10 PM.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  14. #14
    Seed my wickedness Sanguine Miasma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Spontaneous Human Combustion
    TIM
    EIE-C-Ni ™
    Posts
    7,632
    Mentioned
    325 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I do not really care to have someone babysitting for my interests (xSE) or someone who has ignorantly scanning Fi in the background (people should be shocked).

    The problem with certain ESE's seems to be their . It shows in some serious lack in imaginative plane and time which makes me to lol far too many times. There are certainly interesting ESE's out there.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

    NO Private messages, please. Use Discord instead.

  15. #15

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,546
    Mentioned
    111 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Any mature type-combination can form a successful marriage with mutual understanding and consideration; however, even with success, there can be levels of unhappiness and discontentment. I would put Activity relationships in the bottom half for potential of contentment simply because there tends to be conflicting undercurrents over priorities, methodologies and objectives; successful activity relationships seem to develop a full-time leader and follower, which suggests imbalance but for many, this would be an acceptable arrangement.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    like..

  16. #16
    Clarke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2022
    Location
    On Hiatus.
    TIM
    6w5 ILI/EII xxSo
    Posts
    683
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Theoretically, dual. Personally, Super-Ego or maybe Semi-Dual.

    I'm going by attraction here, I don't know how this would play out.

    Edit: So my rationale for this is the following:
    -I currently get along very well with a LSI. Our relationship isn't romantic.
    -I have been attracted to people and characters who are likely to be LSI.
    -I'm somewhat attracted to some LSI descriptions.
    -I'm somewhat attracted to the concept of order and hierarchies.
    -While I don't necessarily have great pools of information in these areas, I seem to be attracted to potentially common LSI interests such as war or weaponry. I think I would generally value their perspective.
    -I don't seem to greatly value Si, and I have nonstandard Si preferences (such as liking the cold, the wind, and the feeling of thunderstorms so long as I'm not in any actual danger).
    -I have been attracted to LIE's.
    -I somewhat like the LIE's by description.
    -I've gotten along with at least one LIE on this forum.
    Last edited by Clarke; 11-24-2022 at 04:32 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •