Just wanted to respond to these because they were my words. Only they aren't at all, I pulled them both from SX 4 descriptions.
- Tom CondonWant to be Number One in their beloved’s heart or the only person their partner has ever loved; could be jealous of their partner’s past relationships"
- NaranjoConnected to a hateful emotionality, an attitude of superiority sometimes exists along with —and in compensation for—a bad self-image. Though the individual may seethe in self-deprecation and self-hate, the attitude to the outer world is in this case that of a “prima-donna” or at least a very special person. When this claim of specialness is frustrated it may be complicated by a victimized role of “misunderstood genius.” In line with this development, individuals also develop traits of wit, interesting conversation, and others in which a natural disposition towards imaginativeness, analysis, or emotional depth (for instance) are secondarily put to the service of the contact need and the desire to summon admiration.
Being significant is 100000% a four thing. They want to be special and not mundane. Three is about success and usefulness. Significant is about being unique and noteworthy. Even as a 4 So I have an unhealthy obsession with wanting to be the best, most loved partner my boyfriend has ever had. I used that word specifically because I saw it in a type 4 description and it really stuck out and resonated with me - though I can't remember which one it was. Chestnut uses the word 'special' a lot, which basically is being used in the same way I was using 'significant' above:
While Twos strive to have a likable, pleasing image, and Threes create an image of achievement and success, Fours present themselves as unique and special- from "The Complete Enneagram"The specific experience and expression of envy in Fours, however, differs by subtype. The Social Four dwells in a sense of deficiency and shame heightened by actively envying others; the Self-Preservation Four denies envy by strenuously pursuing whatever is seen as lacking; and the Sexual Four gets competitive, striving to prove themselves as superior, in response to feeling envious.
("Special" and "significant" don't have to be positive words here: they just mean not mundane)
Riso & Hudson use the words "assertive", "aggressive", "dynamic" and "possessive" for sexual four. Maitri uses the word "hate", Naranjo "the mad four", Chestnut "competition" and "hostility."
Maybe this is exaggerated by 8 fixes, like mentioned above, but it goes beyond just being a "stereotype" when basically every major enneagram writer says the same thing.
fwiw I don't see myself as aggressive in the classic sense either and I don't think anyone would describe me as that but I am very competitive, envious and spiteful. I have to check myself for all of these things all the time. I.e. on an average - unhealthy day, someone can't get complimented in front of me without me turning that inward on myself (self criticism for not being the one getting complimented) and spite for the other (immediately picking up on their flaws). When I was still in my teens and not as smooth as I am now, someone got complimented for something that was usually MY thing to get complimented for and I very loudly derided them and undermined the compliment in earshot of that person, for example. Not great but also something I still do in my head. For comparison's sake, in the same situation my 3w4 friend just talks more about her own achievements, and will one-up them and show off rather than try to drag the other down.
Hope this didn't come across as aggressive, since I know you said you didn't want to argue. Just wanted to explain why I chose to describe sx four in the way I did. Even with Se PoLR you should still be more aggressive than other EII 4s (and noticeably more so than 9s). I also imagine most 4s have 1D Se since I associate it with IEI + EII predominantly so being Se PoLR shouldn't change much.



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