Quote Originally Posted by andreasdevig View Post
I may be missing something here, but I fail to see the connections of intimacy and aggression, the 'social sphere' and sadness. I don't see how someone who's focused on intimacy would be more aggressive than someone focused on recognition, belonging to a group, etc.. Or how a person focused on belonging to a group would be more sad than someone focused on intimacy..
I think when people don't get the intimacy they want, they tend to get sad.
It's worth remembering here that it's not Sx = aggression and So = sad in general but specifically when talking about 4. Social three and seven aren't sad, for example.

From what I understand, Sx 4 is aggressive because they have a sense of demanding what is rightfully theirs (at least in the Chestnut / Naranjo descriptions - though these are more extreme I think). They want to be special and significant in the eyes of their partner, which makes them jealous, possessive and angry when they aren't. Then with So 4, I think Olympia described it well with saying they both love and hate the fact that they don't fit in, but in whichever way they feel it, they are VERY aware of it. It's being able to read social situations with incredible detail and then focusing on every way in which they fall short (such as: "my joke didn't get as many laughs as my friend's joke", "I tripped and everybody saw", "everyone is talking about this thing and I don't know about it", "other people make friends easier than I do" or alternatively: "my joke was too clever for people to understand", "everybody likes this thing and I don't because I have better taste", "I'm more complicated which is why I don't fit in"). So that's why they feel shame more acutely. Shame is probably a better word than sad.