Type my "difficult" roommate

[schwiftyrickty]

How to describe the indescribable? He's incredibly loud. Can't stop talking for five seconds. He even talks to me when I'm in my room or in the bathroom. Even when you're five feet away from him he practically shouts to make sure you hear him. And he makes you confirm every statement he makes, always looking for agreement so it's impossible to just ignore him. If you just nod or don't say anything he will say "Right?" or "You know what I'm saying?" and he always expects you to respond, it's never rhetorical.

He talks to pretty much everyone around him like they're retarded though he's half illiterate himself. He's always talking down to me and straight-up calling me stupid and yet he'll ask me for help with simple shit (spelling, filling out forms, elementary school level math, programming remotes, downloading things, etc. He kinda treats me like his secretary actually. He will jokingly call me Siri when I bring this up.) He won't look anything up either. He says he doesn't trust the internet. He literally thinks he's smarter than the internet. We get in arguments all the time. I'll just look it up and he will say "You can't trust everything you read on the internet." and still think he's right. He's really stubborn.

He is so dramatic. Always complaining about something or acting like his life is more difficult than others'. He also likes to tell everyone how busy he is when he has less going on than anyone I've ever met. He'll claim he's busy because he has a court date in three months or because he drops his sister off at school once a week or because he has laundry to do. And he's always claiming he never gets a day off when a look at the schedule or his paycheck can easily prove otherwise. He has no concept of time, he wildly exaggerates everything, but especially time. He'll claim he only got an hour of sleep even when I've walked past his room and seen him snoring and drooling with his hand down his pants for several hours. (Yeah, he sleeps with the door open. I think it's so if anything happens in the house he won't miss it. He only closes the door when he's mad at me. Which is pretty often. Oddly enough, he loves to give the silent treatment. The only way to make him quiet is to piss him off. He can be very passive aggressive, and he's proud of it.)

There's some of his bad qualities. I won't even go into household disputes. That could be a novel. He also has many good qualities. Despite being an ex-tweaker, I trust him pretty much 100%. I leave my money out around him, he's never paid rent late, he knows a lot of my login information, etc. Probably stupid of me but whatever. He has a strong sense of integrity.

He calls his dad a few times a week and really really loves him and appreciates everything he's done for him, particularly because he was adopted and he was there when he was on drugs and in jail and still accepts him (I should also say my roommate is very judgmental of people who are on hard drugs now even though he's been there himself). He thinks so highly of him. It's kind of adorable. He isn't really allowed to see him for reasons. This kills him inside, I can tell. Like, he has shed tears over his father who has health problems. I've seen it. He's also highly protective over his little sister. And he desperately wants kids of his own, or even to be a stepdad. He's the only dude I've ever met who considers a woman having kids a positive thing. He wants to come along and be some girl's savior and take care of her and her kids. Which I find very bizarre, but interesting and almost charming. But he is also a misogynist and doesn't realize it, so whatever.

We work together too, which makes our relationship even more difficult. But I must say he works his ass off, like to the point where he is sweating and red faced. He's constantly burning himself because he moves so quickly. Any time there is some sort of competition or standard we're supposed to meet he will go to the ends of the earth to meet that goal. He almost cares so much it's annoying, but I definitely respect him for it. At the same time though, I've known a lot of people like him who work really hard for a while and quickly burn themselves out and will inevitably walk out of there in a rage one day because they're not being appreciated enough. Usually those people have worked pretty much everywhere. That is true of him. He is a bit of a job hopper, not always by choice.

Is this what a dominant SEE looks like? The SEEs I know are usually pretty laid back. He is Choleric to the core. Could he be EIE? Help! Oh and if you want a visual, he looks and acts a lot like J-Roc from the Trailer Park Boys (superficially), but more in your face. He does not like this comparison lol.

[golden]

We can’t even type you but now we’re sposed to be able to type your roommate lol.

I love imagining that he’s an extremely dumb LSE, but that’s mostly about my own amusement.

[Desert Financial]

Seems SLE. Tbh I wonder if you're ESE.

[Aramas]

Holy fuck your roommate is my dad. My guess is Beta ST. LSI-Se subtype. LSIs can actually be really dramatic types. The dumb ones are also always really sure they know more than you about everything, even when you prove them wrong, and even when they lack basic skills and knowledge.

My dad also has that thing where he keeps telling you to listen to him when he's really looking for agreement. He will just keep repeating himself over and over and tell you you're not listening until you convince him that you agree with him on whatever topic.

Pretty family oriented, loud, less aware of other people than SLEs, tendency toward suspicion, etc. All really LSI traits, especially when stupid or unsocialized. They often think they're good with people, many of them think they are better than you with people. But they make the worst mistakes and attribute their failures to others. Like talking to people while they're in the bathroom. They're so unaware of other people that they don't realize how ignorant they are. They'll keep hounding people until someone uses really strong Fe to put them in their place. This can be direct, by EIEs getting pissed off at them and yelling. Or indirect, by simply altering their emotions and making them be happy and satisfied, so they no longer want to argue and bitch.

Fi types don't like doing this, because they don't like changing their emotional states to suit those of other people. Fe types do this willingly. They see it as not only acceptable but a duty to help manage the emotional states of others by displaying the appropriate emotional state for the situation. An Fe type will become happy to make you happy, for example. This works because Fe valuers don't see feeling as the core of their being. The core for Fe valuers is Ti. That's the stuff they don't want you to mess with or change except in extreme situations.

Of course if you don't mirror emotional states to others or join in on the fun, you're seen as selfish and self-serving, because the internal emotional state of Fe types is dependent on the surrounding emotionality. In other words, by not helping them, you are automatically hurting them. But by helping them, if you are an Fi type, you hurt yourself.

You can understand all the functions through this contrary extroversion introversion valuation. Se types unconsciously believe that when someone isn't doing well, they need to impose force to improve the health of the other person. If you've got Se superego, this has the exact opposite of the intended effect: health becomes worse. They keep trying the same thing over and over again, wondering why it's not working. Eventually, they write the person off as not worthwhile or a hopeless case. In all cases, imposing the extroverted element where it's not needed and where it's detrimental to an introverted element, or not providing it from an introverted element to the extroverted element tends to cause problems.

This is essentially because the extroverted elements operate on positive feedback loops. The introverted elements work on negative feedback loops. The positive loops need a jumpstart to work properly, while the introverted elements need to be left alone until they can sort themselves out. A harsh Se regimen or imposition will ruin an Ne ego, while the absence of one can destroy an Ni ego. People with a weak valued introverted element will often feel imposed on when in the presence of its extroverted counterpart. It's almost like you can feel the active suppression of personal activity in a certain area of life. An ILI around Fe cannot feel his own emotions. An EII around Se cannot sense his own body. In every case, they feel like they can't do something they need to do for their own health wellbeing. The psychological domain is, in a sense, overloaded into non-existence. ILIs will often show feelings after a time of not being imposed on by the feelings of others. It will happen naturally on its own. An EII can be healthy and well and strong if left alone to recover without a lot of strong Se sensory input. (The creation of the Si here is the destruction of Se. The element you create is the automatic destruction of something else. Hence, the creative function is also the destroyer. Ne creatives are Ni destroyers.)

In a lot of cases, it usually works with one person saying, "I tried to help the no-good piece of shit, but he just wouldn't pick it up!" It's usually seen as a willful failure when it's something the individual has no control over. The extroverted functions see the introverted as weak, and the introverted see the extroverted as dependent and exploitative.

Xe "reminds" Xi to do things, and in so doing prevents Xi from doing the thing it reminds it to do.

Xi leaves Xe to its own devices, and it languishes from lack of support.

If you really want to hurt someone, give them the id version of an element. It's like backhanded help. It will look like the ego version of the element on the surface, but in reality it is the opposing element underneath. For example, trying to get an LSI to give you Si will make them give you id Si. That's bad mojo right there, because it is often given out of spite and is in reality a form of Se. It's like giving a starving man a rubber chicken and spitting on him. People perform the id block sarcastically. When they do that for a dual, it's like shitting on your weaknesses and saying that crap didn't matter anyway. But being sarcastic about someone's superid elements is like taking candy from a baby and kicking a man while he's down. If you want someone to really really hate you, give them the id version of the superid. I'm convinced that paranoia comes from people giving you the id version of your superid. It's like someone telling you Santa is a serial rapist and he wants to fuck you. You begin to see the thing you loved the most as evil, and it changes you into a horrible human being.

People develop Socionics complexes because they begin to see the thing they loved and needed as poison -- because when they were given it in the past, it was a sarcastic, id version of that influence. So when they see it in the present, they immediately interpret it as being that old thing that hurt me so much even though it's really the thing that gives them life. This is how people learn to hate their duals and why even duals can treat each other like shit. They don't see the difference between the id and ego version of the element and don't know when it's real or offered sarcastically. They build defenses against their own roots. When this situation becomes bad enough, you see people who are members of a certain quadra, but they can't get along with them. Nor can they get along with anyone else. They are trapped in the bitterness and pain of the past, unable to see that the help that's offered is actually real help this time instead of a dirty trick.

And this is why duality can fail. "I was ACTUALLY trying to help them. I knew what they needed and I was going to give it to them for free because I wanted to! But they stabbed me in the face when I did! What the fuck?!" The person who lashed out had simply been trained to see the information element from its id perspective, and at that moment, was literally living in the past and saw it as an attempt to hurt them, because that's what it always was back then.

It's kind of like the animals who've been abused a lot react with aggression and fear even to compassionate people who really want to feed and take care of them. They've been hurt so bad that they can't see any attempt at interaction as anything except an attempt to hurt them, because that's all they've seen. These people are paranoid, suspicious, aggressive, etc. because they don't know anything else.

In other terms, people learn to think of their duals as conflictors. And any time they see them, they think, "This evil thing again. Fuck that!" If it's really bad, they begin to see all of reality from the perspective of the id and as an expression of the conflictor. "Reality is out to get me and therefore I have to get it before it gets me." And you can see what kinds of problems that causes. You get sociopathy. Alternatively, the person withdraws from reality into paranoid schizophrenia. There you go. The origin of two classic psychological disorders. You're welcome.

Dualization from a fucked up perspective comes in two forms: "Please don't hurt me! (Placating)" and "I'm going to fuck with you to see if you hurt me. (Testing)" The same person often does both.

Sorry for taking over your thread. I was just on a roll.

P.S. This is why you shouldn't rely on ITRs for typing unless you're extremely careful about it. Some people are REALLY fucked up.

[Sol]

to type by a description is too doubtful
there can be too much of distortions from your personal perceptions and possible lack of important

[Exodus]

How to describe the indescribable? He's incredibly loud. Can't stop talking for five seconds. He even talks to me when I'm in my room or in the bathroom. Even when you're five feet away from him he practically shouts to make sure you hear him. And he makes you confirm every statement he makes, always looking for agreement so it's impossible to just ignore him. If you just nod or don't say anything he will say "Right?" or "You know what I'm saying?" and he always expects you to respond, it's never rhetorical.

This suggests high Fe and Se, but also valued Fe - the looking for a response.

He talks to pretty much everyone around him like they're retarded though he's half illiterate himself. He's always talking down to me and straight-up calling me stupid and yet he'll ask me for help with simple shit (spelling, filling out forms, elementary school level math, programming remotes, downloading things, etc. He kinda treats me like his secretary actually. He will jokingly call me Siri when I bring this up.) He won't look anything up either. He says he doesn't trust the internet. He literally thinks he's smarter than the internet. We get in arguments all the time. I'll just look it up and he will say "You can't trust everything you read on the internet." and still think he's right. He's really stubborn.

Possibly devalued Te? And, clearly lack of interest in Si/Ti.

He is so dramatic. Always complaining about something or acting like his life is more difficult than others'. He also likes to tell everyone how busy he is when he has less going on than anyone I've ever met. He'll claim he's busy because he has a court date in three months or because he drops his sister off at school once a week or because he has laundry to do. And he's always claiming he never gets a day off when a look at the schedule or his paycheck can easily prove otherwise. He has no concept of time, he wildly exaggerates everything, but especially time. He'll claim he only got an hour of sleep even when I've walked past his room and seen him snoring and drooling with his hand down his pants for several hours. (Yeah, he sleeps with the door open. I think it's so if anything happens in the house he won't miss it. He only closes the door when he's mad at me. Which is pretty often. Oddly enough, he loves to give the silent treatment. The only way to make him quiet is to piss him off. He can be very passive aggressive, and he's proud of it.)

Maybe some access to Fi.

There's some of his bad qualities. I won't even go into household disputes. That could be a novel. He also has many good qualities. Despite being an ex-tweaker, I trust him pretty much 100%. I leave my money out around him, he's never paid rent late, he knows a lot of my login information, etc. Probably stupid of me but whatever. He has a strong sense of integrity.

He calls his dad a few times a week and really really loves him and appreciates everything he's done for him, particularly because he was adopted and he was there when he was on drugs and in jail and still accepts him (I should also say my roommate is very judgmental of people who are on hard drugs now even though he's been there himself). He thinks so highly of him. It's kind of adorable. He isn't really allowed to see him for reasons. This kills him inside, I can tell. Like, he has shed tears over his father who has health problems. I've seen it. He's also highly protective over his little sister. And he desperately wants kids of his own, or even to be a stepdad. He's the only dude I've ever met who considers a woman having kids a positive thing. He wants to come along and be some girl's savior and take care of her and her kids. Which I find very bizarre, but interesting and almost charming. But he is also a misogynist and doesn't realize it, so whatever.

We work together too, which makes our relationship even more difficult. But I must say he works his ass off, like to the point where he is sweating and red faced. He's constantly burning himself because he moves so quickly. Any time there is some sort of competition or standard we're supposed to meet he will go to the ends of the earth to meet that goal. He almost cares so much it's annoying, but I definitely respect him for it. At the same time though, I've known a lot of people like him who work really hard for a while and quickly burn themselves out and will inevitably walk out of there in a rage one day because they're not being appreciated enough. Usually those people have worked pretty much everywhere. That is true of him. He is a bit of a job hopper, not always by choice.

Is this what a dominant SEE looks like? The SEEs I know are usually pretty laid back. He is Choleric to the core. Could he be EIE? Help! Oh and if you want a visual, he looks and acts a lot like J-Roc from the Trailer Park Boys (superficially), but more in your face. He does not like this comparison lol.

I wouldn't say SEE, seems mostly like a Beta extrovert, probably EIE. Your description is pretty consistent.

[Sanguine Miasma]

Seems SLE. Tbh I wonder if you're ESE.

Ha. Yeah, benefit stuff could be it. If this stuff is one sided exhaustive information exchange.


So swiffy, what about you ̣̣- it takes two to tango (it is like introverted relation is somewhat less prioritized)?

[Hamada]

My impression is IEI dominant. Polr Te mocking trust inducing suggestive se. As for time his statements are simply to make you sympathize with him.

Actully, just ignore whag I said. I better at V.I.

[lemontrees]

EII. jk