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Thread: is sx/sp safe to date?

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    Default is sx/sp safe to date?

    Better put, can sx firsts only have satisfactory relationships w sx firsts?

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    Xaiviay's Avatar
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    I'd put it on a sliding scale of the more similar your stack is, the better compatibility you will have.

    The stacks are variable in how extreme they can be. Here's a description of the different 'levels' of sx/sp which I think is pretty good (taken from here):
    the 3 ranges of sx/sp:


    sx/sp seducer (weak sp) - sx in full command produces an active recruiter of potential mates; but being sx/sp this remains in the yin mode of seducing. charismatic and overtly sexualized, arguably the most purely sx of all stacks and ranges. draws from so/sx shadow to liven up sx into an erotic playfulness and to keep sx far ahead of their relatively nominal sp. an emotional yearning to their mating ritual; an inherently unstable range that can lead to a pattern of serial heartbreak. often confused for sx/so.


    sx/sp mystifier (midrange) - the range where the mystique of the sx/sp stack is at its strongest. unconsciously attracts with intense eye contact and other sx feelers, but holds back enough to give them a kind of untouchable or hard to get close to quality. depending on their true intentions this can either frustrate their sx or reward their functional sp cooling system. like midrangers of all stacks, there's a seemingly casual approach to meeting their variant needs as the secondary instinct is kept both in play and at bay, and others may wonder what they really want.


    sx/sp wanderer (strong sp) - the most clasically 'blocked' of the sx's, often exchanging intimacy in favor of the more immediate pleasures of the body. paradoxically the most wandering and restless of the sx/sp's. pulls from sp/so to ensure the sx flood is contained by the sp levee, which can provide a sense of stability at the expense of seeming put off by others. sex can mean a hollow satisfying of the instinct while more vulnerable feelings are suspended. quietly charged but muted, and can seem self pres first.
    Does he sound like any of these specifically? This might help you decide whether or not you want to be with him...also, my personal opinion, you should ignore the descriptions of sx 'unconsciously alluring' with their sx charisma, or whatever you call it...I don't think sx-firsts are really any more alluring or attractive than other stackings. If I may suggest, don't just worry about whether or not he's satisfied, think about yourself too. Would you mabe be happy with his instinctual variant, or would you maybe be happier with someone who shares your preferences?

    I've had relationships with a few different types, and I was definitely happiest with the one who shared my instinctual preferences. That's just my experience...but individuals can make something work if they care enough to. So, if sharing similar instincts is not that important to you or him, I'd say why not give it a try?

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    Spiritual Advisor Hope's Avatar
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    Safe in the sense of putting your life at risk? Or what kind of "safety" are you talking about?


    -can sx firsts only have satisfactory relationships w sx firsts?

    I don't think there's a rule for it. A lot of stuff matters besides stacking (sociotype etc). Plus, I don't think sx is so interested in its own satisfaction as sp.
    Last edited by Hope; 10-13-2018 at 03:23 AM.

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    Xaiviay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    Plus, I don't think sx is so interested in its own satisfaction as sp.
    ....hey...speak for yourself lol
    <------ selfish hedonistic SEI

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    Spiritual Advisor Hope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaiviay View Post
    ....hey...speak for yourself lol
    <------ selfish hedonistic SEI

    I mean, sp is the most interested type in the personal needs and the I.
    While sx is more about you and I. Its about the bond, and obsessing/needing the other, that's why it even can be self destructive. One can care so much about own satisfaction if you are interested in keeping a bond or if you are so attached obsessed with the other. Sx is loosing the self and dying in the other.
    So, I'm not sure about what kind of satisfaction in relationships she speaks about, if its about the constant needing/wanting the other or if its about a never ending me,me,me,me…which is more sp first imo.
    Last edited by Hope; 10-13-2018 at 03:53 AM.

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    Xaiviay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post

    I mean, sp is the most interested type in the personal needs and the I.
    While sx is more about you and I. Its about the bond, and obsessing/needing the other, that's why it even can be self destructive. One can care so much about own satisfaction if you are interested in keeping a bond or if you are so attached obsessed with the other. Sx is loosing the self and dying in the other.
    So, I'm not sure about what kind of satisfaction in relationships she speaks about, if its about the constant needing/wanting the other or if its about a never ending me,me,me,me…which is more sp first imo.
    Oh I see what you mean, valid points Yes, I guess sx is more about losing the self in the other, even if it's destructive to the self. I still think of it as selfish, unless you really do care for the other's well-being and happiness (which is definitely the ideal). Also, sx can drive a person to lose themselves in something other than a person, like an activity or ideal, from what I understand. It's the pursuit of whatever causes that chemical rush and feeling of intense merging. So, that can be limited to the self.

    You could be right though that sx-first people are still less 'me me me' on average than sp-first people. If most sx people seek fulfillment of their instinct through a long-term relationship, they have to put their partner first on a frequent basis. sp-first people can just take care of themselves and be good, by comparison...I see your point

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    I've seen lots of mixed instinct couples around. Specifically for sx-firsts there are some sx/sp-so/sx couples out there and I've seen quite a few sx/so(female)-so/sp(male) matches. Generally, most long-term couples seem to happen within the same flow or same primary instinct. Of course dating the same instinct and same subtype is most satisfying, same as with socionics duality, but those aren't the only options.

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    No, very dangerous, stay away

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    O_steve_stark_O ostevestarko's Avatar
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    Safe............I consider SX doms (specially "sx/so"s) those people which dates you for this moment and breaks the relationship with you and create another one.
    Imagine, someone's personality is getting close to one person to have a one-to-one relationship. well, if he/she got close to you because of this, he/she will get close to someone else too because of this reason. I liked sx/so for a partner too, but I realized it can't be the best. therefore, have other scales, and evaluate. Romantic relationship is like a business ("is" or "should be" doesn't matter, this is how it is). choose based on objective measurable standards, don't be kind and don't expect kindness. don't input other things into relationship. romantic relationship is just sex and physical interactions. and at its best, he/she can be a partner in your adventures, goals, plans and etc too, but it's so rare. evaluate, brutal!!

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    Yes unless you're dating core 4 or 6 or 8 with this stacking

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    Spiritual Advisor Hope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    is sx/sp safe to date?
    No, we are not.

    But probably you were thinking when posing the question in something completely different than I do. So it depends on what do you mean with 'safe'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ostevestarko View Post
    Safe............I consider SX doms (specially "sx/so"s) those people which dates you for this moment and breaks the relationship with you and create another one.
    Thats kinda the opposite of sx sp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    Better put, can sx firsts only have satisfactory relationships w sx firsts?
    I'll describe my personal experiences with relationships below:
    -I usually perceive myself as fairly loyal and willing to do what the partner wants, so long as it doesn't violate some kind of core boundary or safety concern.
    -If the partner bothers me on some instinctual level, it might build up until I somewhat verbally violently want a breakup. This is probably related to 3E.
    -I think that I usually unload alot of personal, maybe emotional information on the partner. I'm pretty sure I at least like to share it.
    -I may also hide personal information from the relationship. I usually do this if I'm not convinced that hiding it would be detrimental or unethical.

    Generally, my answer to the title question is no. However, my answer to the post question is that Sx/Sp's might be able to have good relationships with Sp/Sx's. I think that the Sx/Sp would see the Sp usage of the Sp/Sx as interesting, and the Sp/Sx would be able to tolerate the Sx/Sp venting of their interests/information.

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