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Thread: Feather's typing thread (Near-anniversary edition)

  1. #201
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    I relate to so much of this hard and it seems we are in the same dilemma on our typings (although I don't necessarily think it means we are the same type at all). Your Fe seems more accentuated, but I wonder about societal/life factors shaping things differently for us as well. I'm also looking at the fact that we have the same enneagram type (4, though in my case I think, sx/so, though the "cooler" version as they are almost 50/50). Interesting... I want to actually say IEI, but I can't really explain why (I want to say Fe, but IEE has demonstrative Fe so to me it's kind of what YOU feel like you value more between Fi and Fe). I relate to so much of what you say here, but you seem to be able to verbalize it better. NF seems pretty obvious to me, also can't explain why, but it does.

    Quote Originally Posted by Baboooshka View Post
    I think people have control over a LOT of things in their life. It's not an impossibility to surpass your unfortunate condition and become Hot Stuff (TM). What pisses me off, though, are the vanilla celebrities giving cliche "Started from the bottom now we're here, through hard work and blah blah" speeches, when they actually didn't do shit. Or if they did, luck and Fate played a huge part in their success. I do believe Fate loves to fuck with us, and that it's unfair to have so little to say about aspects of your life that determine your rate of success. Without a doubt, someone born in Germany, the States, Austria, UK will have an easier time achieving certain goals than someone born in Uganda.
    I may be biased, sure, being someone who was born and currently lives in a crumbling post-communist second-world country filled to the brim with degeneracy and political turmoil, in a colorless industrial town. I am more or less trying my best to GTFO, but...why do I need to? It's not fair thinking that some people don't need to work their bottoms off because they were lucky enough to be brought up near the mountaintop by favourable circumstances while others have to start from the very bottom indeed (Screw you, Drake).
    So yes, I believe in fate. Fate sits down at a table playing a dice game of her own design while we try our hardest to make sense of what is happening around us, unaware of how little control we actually have over life.


    Oh Gods, yes. Although I wouldn't say it's completely unrelated-- It does make sense, in my brain. The most apparent manifestation of this are the numerous song references you'll get on a daily basis if you chat with me (@mrrrmaid is already a victim, but she got used to it). Everything you say can and WILL be used as a media reference at one point, trust me.
    The most recent example would be a discussion I had with a friend last night, on Discord. She was complaining about a douchey guy with practically 0 emotional awareness; She told me that, after doing a certain thing, the guy just said: "Undo this". All I could think of was that Cybermen scene from Doctor Who where they go "DELETE, DELETE, DELETE, DELETE" over and over again and I sent her a link to the video for comparison. Why? Because the guy sounded like a robotic dickwad and it just seemed like the right side-to-side comparison for my brain.


    Okay, this is a bit more tricky. Here are a few examples of analogies that I can remember:

    "Philosophy in itself doesn't interest me. It rarely does. It's nothing more than mental masturbation, imo. But sometimes, it's pretty pleasurable. Just like actual masturbation."
    Friend: "What about actual sex? What would that be then?"
    Me: "Any STEM subject because the humanities aren't actual sciences." (I myself am a humanities student so yeah, love me some self-deprecating humour from time to time)

    "Dealing with someone who confessed their romantic feelings to you is like a game of Operation; It might seem easy at first and from a distance, but once you get in the thick of it you have to tread carefully in the fat guy's belly or you'll hear that annoying, embarrassing "BLEEEEEEEEEEP" and it's game over for you. "

    I don't think I am actually that consistent when it comes to metaphors.
    Another thing is that I'm not a dream interpretation buff. I love dreams, best thing ever. Hamlet was right, sleeping is much better than living. However, I don't look inside my dreams for meaning, unless they are really obvious and hit close to home. Mostly, they are dreamy-feely fodder for me to bask in whenever I like, and use as writing material if they are good enough (I once had a dream about a Tilda Swinton lookalike living in a Utopia. The town she was living in, full of prolific scientists, was bombed by an enemy nation and she was the sole survivor. She managed to survive by taking shelter under the family's grand piano. The bomb radiation gave her superhuman strength and she set out on a journey to after the sunset, west, carrying supplies and belonging in the grand piano which she used now as a suitcase. Ultimately, she arrives at a lighthouse owned by a pathetic fisherman who could fish up nothing but boots and whose dream was to become an haute couture fashion designer. The lighthouse was inherited from his uncle, an average explorer who never had the luck to actually stumble upon any great discoveries because everything he thought he discovered has already been discovered by someone else, hours ago. The two get to live happily until a bomb destroys the lighthouse and kills the fisherman. Left alone, the woman rebuilds the lighthouse and gives it a purpose: War orphanage. She takes war orphans under her care that she trains to be part of a rebellion which seeks to overthrow the utopian government in the name of peace under the premise "If you want something done, do it yourself". I really liked the dream.)
    4 core, sx/so. Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer

  2. #202
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    you remind me a bit of a theatre teacher i had

  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    you remind me a bit of a theatre teacher i had
    "A streetcar named babooshka"
    "Time is my horse that stays always my own,
    A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
    The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
    My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.

    Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
    My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
    Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
    I will dismount and rise up my visor."
    Mikhail Lermontov



  4. #204
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    @mu4 I'm writing this at 1 AM and it's much blunter of a request than what I usually do, but could you look into this thread? Not all of it, it would be torture.

    I'm slalso not sure if you take requests, so if you don't, oops.
    "Time is my horse that stays always my own,
    A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
    The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
    My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.

    Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
    My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
    Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
    I will dismount and rise up my visor."
    Mikhail Lermontov



  5. #205
    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I'm not going to overthink this. EIE

    Actually I'm not the person who needs to stop overthinking this. EIE often have a hard time typing I've found because they can't stop performing. Please introspect your identity for a change instead of performing for it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    I'm not going to overthink this. EIE

    Actually I'm not the person who needs to stop overthinking this. EIE often have a hard time typing I've found because they can't stop performing. Please introspect your identity for a change instead of performing for it.
    My first instinct on seeing the reply was to link my old thread on here. When I created it, I was a fresh face for the forum, and I knew absolutely no one on here. Their first instinct upon seeing me was EIE. I didn't get well with the idea of myself being EIE, especially not after reading more about what Se Hidden Agenda entails. And there was lots of conflicting information coming in from all sides; people arguing about whether or not raw emotional expresivity is linked to Fe, or whether or not Si PoLR influences one to be a total slob.
    Both were things that I didn't, and will not ever, relate to.

    But in medicine schools, they coined the term "Zebra" to describe exotic diagnostics when a more commonplace diagnostic would be the correct answer: "When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses not zebras". It could be that me and many other forum members on here chased zebras until now, if the answer was so simple. And I would be lying if I denied even the slight use of "masquerade" when it comes to my socionics journey. I did try on for wear the types that people have come up with for me, and every single one of them was allocated a certain amount of psychological space and time to exist. I felt like an ILE for a day or two when people brought that up, and I feel like an IEI whenever people bring that up. It's very canrivalesque, in a way, yes.
    But then, is it really an EIE problem, or a me-problem? Because if it's the latter, we're back to square one.

    But I'm looking more into EIE as I'm writing this post. The worst part about being EIE is that it means @Number 9 large was right and it sucks.
    "Time is my horse that stays always my own,
    A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
    The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
    My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.

    Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
    My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
    Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
    I will dismount and rise up my visor."
    Mikhail Lermontov



  7. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baboooshka View Post
    My first instinct on seeing the reply was to link my old thread on here. When I created it, I was a fresh face for the forum, and I knew absolutely no one on here. Their first instinct upon seeing me was EIE. I didn't get well with the idea of myself being EIE, especially not after reading more about what Se Hidden Agenda entails. And there was lots of conflicting information coming in from all sides; people arguing about whether or not raw emotional expresivity is linked to Fe, or whether or not Si PoLR influences one to be a total slob.
    Both were things that I didn't, and will not ever, relate to.

    But in medicine schools, they coined the term "Zebra" to describe exotic diagnostics when a more commonplace diagnostic would be the correct answer: "When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses not zebras". It could be that me and many other forum members on here chased zebras until now, if the answer was so simple. And I would be lying if I denied even the slight use of "masquerade" when it comes to my socionics journey. I did try on for wear the types that people have come up with for me, and every single one of them was allocated a certain amount of psychological space and time to exist. I felt like an ILE for a day or two when people brought that up, and I feel like an IEI whenever people bring that up. It's very canrivalesque, in a way, yes.
    But then, is it really an EIE problem, or a me-problem? Because if it's the latter, we're back to square one.

    But I'm looking more into EIE as I'm writing this post. The worst part about being EIE is that it means @Number 9 large was right and it sucks.
    Welcome to beta bitch

  8. #208
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    Do you consider uploading another video? I know it is burdensome, however, typing material won't be limited to one, new observations an/or patterns could be detected that way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    Do you consider uploading another video? I know it is burdensome, however, typing material won't be limited to one, new observations an/or patterns could be detected that way.
    I really don't want to upload another video, two are already too many for how long this thread has been stretched. Plus, there is no decent place to record myself in my flat.
    I will give the idea some consideration but I'll probably decide upon a firm "No" once I see my face in the computer screen.
    "Time is my horse that stays always my own,
    A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
    The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
    My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.

    Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
    My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
    Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
    I will dismount and rise up my visor."
    Mikhail Lermontov



  10. #210
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    You have a way with words the way Ne users have... Just like that new show ASOUE’s Lemony Snicket. You have this guiding way of talking all points which reminds me of my IEEs primary school teachers story telling.

    As for Fi or Ti, I can’t tell because I don’t know male EIIs or IEEs personally. The rambling and the disclaimers at the beginning makes me think Ti but Ne can also be responsible for this.

    IEIs speak so slowly and think a lot while they talk... You’re lighter than an average IEI if that’s what you think you are. I remember telling the IEI I talk about about my ‘irresponsible’ habits similar to not watching the news and she doesn’t agree with my reasoning or think it’s funny. Ahhh why are IEIs like that.

    I wouldn’t rule out ILE or any of the Ne types : )

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    Wowowkw I’m reading all the answers and you must be overwhelmed oh dear don’t think anything I say will add to this discussion haha. I feel like Socionics is making it even more complicated, 8 functions and all.

    But you must’ve gained some self awareness in the last year, so what do you think? Have you been through situations where you felt like your PoLR Se or Te come up? Think about the way others perceive you, does it line up with your type? Or think about the types your gravitate towards, what are they like?

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    I am starting to think you and @bouncingoffclouds are identical types ... IEE. You guys are practically twins. You both have very strong Ne and Fe which is bound to cause confusion in your type because of its chameleon nature. I actually feel like EIE is the least likely NF type for both of you, I’m not seeing the EIE suggestion at all. Ne > Fe

    Like I said earlier in this thread, I see Ne and Fe in your body language and not much else. Scattered and infantile = not IEI, does not show any signs of Fe ignoring = not EII, does not act like the universe revolves around him = not EIE. Problem solved.

    I also want to note how both of you have the same tastes in things.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
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    I do have a lot in common with Baboosh, no doubt. Love the honesty on EIE just now @flames LOL Scattered and infantile is accurate IEE is also accurate/the closest fit. Baboosh is also a 4 in enneagram which could explain some. It's important to remember that all of the types have a lot of variation. There aren't just 16 exact copies of people roaming the earth. Something someone like @Sol seems to neglect while stating otherwise. It's important to look at the major features and bigger picture, something I don't think someone like Sol is capable of.
    4 core, sx/so. Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer

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    ....

    I think it’s more likely bouncing and Feathers are both slightly socially extroverted IEIs (not really much more than say Armalite though, really). And flames SEE. It’s much more contained and easy to follow the thinking of you guys. Flames pretty much only talking about his concrete life shit in here.

    4D Ne Fe to me looks like ooo, Spermatozoa, coeruleum instead with the amount of scatteredness, and talk of meta af humanistic theories and feelings. There’s an obvious difference there in the level, when you look at multiple people in a group like this.

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    I do appreciate the people who believe in IEI for myself It was the first one I read that I felt like fit me before all of this madness, and I had read about several of the ethical types (I hadn't fully read about IEE however). Thank you for believing lol.
    4 core, sx/so. Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    ....

    I think it’s more likely bouncing and Feathers are both slightly socially extroverted IEIs (not really much more than say Armalite though, really). And flames SEE. It’s much more contained and easy to follow the thinking of you guys. Flames pretty much only talking about his concrete life shit in here.

    4D Ne Fe to me looks like ooo, Spermatozoa, coeruleum instead with the amount of scatteredness, and talk of meta af humanistic theories and feelings. There’s an obvious difference there in the level, when you look at multiple people in a group like this.
    You might be right. But I don’t see any Ni in either of them tbh. All I see is extroverted playfulness and sort of connecting-the-dot thinking which I associate with Ne. That and neither of them are remotely like Arma or Aylen. Especially Aylen who dives into constant Ni penetration (lol) in her posts, just read her longer ones. They also both clearly embody Ip temperament; I’m aware that there are IEIs who are more socially extroverted but they’re still Ips at the end of the day and the former just don’t have that type of energy.

    As for the second part, I agree that ooo is without a doubt IEE but I really fail to see any difference between how me and her talk on here lol. Obviously I talk about what’s going on in my life on here but I take what’s going on in my life and I wax philosophical on it and overthink it. (There is a tonnnn of that in my typing thread, I’m just constantly making connections and asking questions that no one answers ). But idk I think all Se/Ni types have a tendency to look at the concrete and then dig for the deeper meaning underneath. Ne/Si is more like, let me look for all the obvious (to me) associations and then find the hidden concrete underneath. So maybe I am SEE or maybe I’m not -shrug- Just my two cents!
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    ^ who knows I could just be mistaking my 7/head type BS for 4D Ne, I’m not super concerned about it because if I’m this type or that type doesn’t really change how I am anyways

    I just feel like I’m way too detached from reality and how to do things in reality to truly be SEE

    And I’m not so sure about gamma values because I’m far from productive and a lot of what I do/say/think is anti Fi
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Baboosh and I are typeless. We defy and break the socionics system
    4 core, sx/so. Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer

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    Oh sh!t! I forgot to point out that I think all the people she mentioned as 4D Ne Fe are Ne bases (IEE/ILE). Not the same as EIE/LIE.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    You might be right. But I don’t see any Ni in either of them tbh. All I see is extroverted playfulness and sort of connecting-the-dot thinking which I associate with Ne. That and neither of them are remotely like Arma or Aylen. Especially Aylen who dives into constant Ni penetration (lol) in her posts, just read her longer ones. They also both clearly embody Ip temperament; I’m aware that there are IEIs who are more socially extroverted but they’re still Ips at the end of the day and the former just don’t have that type of energy.

    As for the second part, I agree that ooo is without a doubt IEE but I really fail to see any difference between how me and her talk on here lol. Obviously I talk about what’s going on in my life on here but I take what’s going on in my life and I wax philosophical on it and overthink it. (There is a tonnnn of that in my typing thread, I’m just constantly making connections and asking questions that no one answers ). But idk I think all Se/Ni types have a tendency to look at the concrete and then dig for the deeper meaning underneath. Ne/Si is more like, let me look for all the obvious (to me) associations and then find the hidden concrete underneath. So maybe I am SEE or maybe I’m not -shrug- Just my two cents!
    I don’t see Babooshka as as energetic as clouds. Also both are still more INxx emo-like to me than extroverted candy-like overall.

    I think your talking is 1000x more concrete than ooo’s lol. A lot of people have commented they have no idea what she’s saying.

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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    Oh sh!t! I forgot to point out that I think all the people she mentioned as 4D Ne Fe are Ne bases (IEE/ILE). Not the same as EIE/LIE.
    In terms of what I’m talking about wrt dimensionality and topics of discussion it’s the same kind of effect. That’s the entire point of using dimensionality in conversation lol, otherwise why bring it up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    I don’t see Babooshka as as energetic as clouds. Also both are still more INxx emo-like to me than extroverted candy-like overall.

    I think your talking is 1000x more concrete than ooo’s lol. A lot of people have commented they have no idea what she’s saying.
    LMAO
    Yeah I can see how she could be hard to follow for some but I’ve never had an issue
    idk I think voider is a better example of an SEE than me, I don’t feel perfect enough to sit amongst the gamma breadwinners : ‘ (
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    In terms of what I’m talking about wrt dimensionality and topics of discussion it’s the same kind of effect. That’s the entire point of using dimensionality in conversation lol, otherwise why bring it up.
    #HowDareUExposeMyTiPoLR

    a plague on both your houses!
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit

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    Quote Originally Posted by flames View Post
    LMAO
    Yeah I can see how she could be hard to follow for some but I’ve never had an issue
    idk I think voider is a better example of an SEE than me, I don’t feel perfect enough to sit amongst the gamma breadwinners : ‘ (
    Pretty sure she’s older than you too and able to have a real job in society lol. If you know an EIE on here who talks about as much concrete Se-focused life stuff as you, you’re welcome to say who.

    Sorry to ruin the fun lol. I don’t really care about typology this much. Carry on.

  25. #225
    stare into me flames's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Pretty sure she’s older than you too and able to have a real job in society lol. If you know an EIE on here who talks about as much concrete Se-focused life stuff as you, you’re welcome to say who.

    Sorry to ruin the fun lol. I don’t really care about typology this much. Carry on.
    She is actually a year younger than me lol.

    and it’s ok I like this stuff, I wouldn’t say I care about typology much either, I just like to get a better idea of who I am and who other people are and how it all fits in the context of everything and typology is an easy way to get into that. I understand other people far more than myself so I focus on others and the outside world almost exclusively and paradoxically focus more on the “finding out who I am” part of the former because I really don’t know sometimes and I have a tendency to dissociate. So for all you wondering why I’m an attention whore it’s because I need to see others reaction to me to know who I am.

    Anyways I forgot where this discussion was going, I think my real point is that whatever types my two buds up there are, they’re without a doubt identicals
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
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  26. #226
    aka Feathers, Penny Dreadful Baboooshka's Avatar
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    Mmm, the thread exploded and I didn't even need to be here in order to make sparks fly. @faith, thank you for your input. Yes, this place is a melting pot for suggestions already, but all's not hopeless: I know that I'm an NF, et fin. It's interesting that you mentioned teaching in your post, since that's the career I'll most probably go for once I graduate. My only problem is that I'm not very good (or clear) with explanations. Speaking of which, my experience with weak spots and PoLR IEs is as follows: I constantly feel incompetent, which is why I don't partake in the more serious threads on here. I have impressions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings about certain things, but I just can't.
    Make.
    Them.
    Appear.
    Logical.
    It's very frustrating. I feel like a child who still hasn't learned how to talk sometimes. Moreover, I seem to be a sponge for others' argumemts and styles of reasoning. Whenever I make an argument, there is a gag-reflex that causes me to regurgitate things that have already been said. This is a bit damaging to my self-esteem because it practically means that I posses 0 critical thinking skills.
    I think one of the few times when I actually voiced myself were that one thread about family/abortion and the one about God.

    I've been thinking about loosening up my filter around here, but a lot of forumites do that and look where it got them. Ideally, I'd like to not spite people, on here or IRL.
    "Time is my horse that stays always my own,
    A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
    The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
    My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.

    Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
    My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
    Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
    I will dismount and rise up my visor."
    Mikhail Lermontov



  27. #227
    faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baboooshka View Post
    Speaking of which, my experience with weak spots and PoLR IEs is as follows: I constantly feel incompetent, which is why I don't partake in the more serious threads on here. I have impressions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings about certain things, but I just can't.
    Make.
    Them.
    Appear.
    Logical.
    It's very frustrating. I feel like a child who still hasn't learned how to talk sometimes. Moreover, I seem to be a sponge for others' argumemts and styles of reasoning. Whenever I make an argument, there is a gag-reflex that causes me to regurgitate things that have already been said. This is a bit damaging to my self-esteem because it practically means that I posses 0 critical thinking skills.
    lol me too. I always thought it had to do with me being a sensor and not understanding theories. It has to be specific, examples help me a lot.

  28. #228
    voider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Pretty sure she’s older than you too and able to have a real job in society lol. If you know an EIE on here who talks about as much concrete Se-focused life stuff as you, you’re welcome to say who.

    Sorry to ruin the fun lol. I don’t really care about typology this much. Carry on.
    Not sure if I should feel flattered you think me mature, or offended that I look older than I am. I turn 19 in two weeks.

  29. #229
    aka Feathers, Penny Dreadful Baboooshka's Avatar
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    My New Year's Resolution is to enter 2020 with a sociotype and exit 2020 with the very same type. And 2021. And 2022. And so on. I want to close this thread and shoot darts at the IEI/IEE wall or flip a coin; whatever it is, I need to settle down like a good housewife. I thought university would shed some light on what and who I truly feel comfortable with, but it just made things worse, more confusing, pure chaos. What I know so far is:

    That I've been interacting with more people in 3 months than I've been interacting my whole life. I especially love talking to strangers and trying to forge a connection with them. Just yesterday I did this with someone I met on the train, and it felt incredible. The problem is that I feel dejected by the sheer amount of people who already have a romantic partner here, and I desire one myself. This makes me prioritise forging a romantic connection before anything else, which isn't exactly healthy, no. The focus is constantly on what I lack and what I want, and it morphs into masochism. Chasing unavailable people just to get a surogate of whatever "true love" must feel like, for example. And the whole culture here IS based around chasing people if you're a guy (No shit, babooshka, that's what the whole world is centered on). And I'm not too comfortable with doing the chasing myself because it raises a lot of complexes.

    I see couples, and I see them doing wonderful things. They are in their 20s, and soon, I will be too. But those years will pass just as quickly as this one, and it will leave me longing for the very same things that I tried to obtain last year. I'm very fatalistic when I think about this, but my biggest fear is missing out on drinking the sweet nectar of young love, as dramatic as that sounds. I don't think I, or anyone else, is going to live these feelings with as much intensity or beauty as they can be lived now. They will be withered and weak, and I will be jaded and stoic (oh, if only). I really don't want it all to fade away so quickly.
    If I'm IEI, then I'm the most panicked one to have ever existed. I don't think they struggle so much in keeping their head above the water in the ever-flowing stream of time. Rather, they seem to embrace it, or at least so it seems, to me. I flail my arms around like an idiot because I can't swim and don't want to drown and die. I want to float graciously, but I have the grace of a limping buffalo.

    I am desperate, I reach out too much; I want to be more self-sufficient and retreat into myself more, but I am more dependent on the outer world than I would like to admit. This is why I'm never able to write shit when I'm in a bad mood, I turn into a vegetable.

    This post is the perfect embodiment of my life at university so far: confusing, a little all-over-the-lace, no clear aim, languid.

    As for interactions, a few weeks ago I was able to meet the wonderfuuuul @mrrrmaid in the flesh, and, if she is willing to share any insights before I finally close this down tomorrow, she is welcome to do so.
    "Time is my horse that stays always my own,
    A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
    The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
    My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.

    Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
    My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
    Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
    I will dismount and rise up my visor."
    Mikhail Lermontov



  30. #230
    Dark Rainbow bouncingoffclouds's Avatar
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    4 core, sx/so. Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer

  31. #231
    groovy punk mrrrmaid's Avatar
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    hmmm I'm trying to remember my impressions and I don't think I have much useful stuff. I would not consider myself knowledgeable enough in typing to do it from one meeting anyway unless you displayed something REALLY obviously.

    So like, yes NF for sure. I love/d all our conversations about incompetency in the real world. I have the same insecurities about just not managing the practical life and even after having a few more years practice at it than you. When I was in your position of living away from home for the first time I was so so dumb with all the practical management stuff.

    You seemed introverted but also I think I was the same way at your age not because I was introverted, but because I had loads of social anxiety. The fact that you post here so frequently, with such long responses and love the excitement of meeting new people all seems extraverted, just possibly clouded by the NF tendency for anxiety. I was always on team IEE I think but the post you made above sounds quite EIE. Or, at least, sounds like something I could have written It's quite a dramatic retelling of what you're experiencing, which I'm sure is because everything you're experiencing is very dramatic to you. I feel like my IEE friends would be equally upfront about their emotions but tend to state them more matter-of-factly. I can never write anything (or literally do anything) if I'm in a bad mood, like you. My emotional landscape and way of relating to stuff is also dramatic.

    You said there was a person who you got on with at Uni who is probably ST? Probably a good thing to help you would be to identify what sort of ST and what exactly he is giving you.

    All my bfs have been sensors (ESE, LSE and now LSI). ESE was great but we ended up having more of a buddy relationship after a while. The LSE I couldn't mother fucking handle. LSI is my dream boy. The victim / aggressor dynamic plays out wonderfully between us - and is not as rapey as the descriptions would have you believe. I once asked LSI about how he got so disciplined and what I could do to emulate it and he literally said, "just stop being a little bitch about it" and it's probably the most helpful advice anyone has ever given me lol. I had the feeling before meeting him that what I really wanted was a dude who wasn't afraid to straight up tell me, bluntly and honestly, when I was acting out (or being a little bitch, in his words). I wanted deep, near-offensive, Fi-lacking feedback to keep me accountable. Anything short of that I don't really respond to. And when dating, I preferred men who were forward and confident and was put off by anyone who was clearly second-guessing themselves.

    So, without sounding like Sol, intertype relations were definitely the number 1 thing I used because it's very difficult to abstractly think about what IEs you use but when you use them with other people they become clear.

    I maybe want to lean toward Beta NF?? Though when we used to talk on the chatbox more you seemed Ne so who knows.
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

  32. #232
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
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    I should mention for the record that I think you’re IEI.
    As a goatherd learns his trade by goat, so a writer learns his trade by wrote.

  33. #233
    thework.com Kalinoche the Child's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baboooshka View Post
    my biggest fear is missing out on drinking the sweet nectar of young love, as dramatic as that sounds.
    <3 as someone who missed out on that (if i get what you mean), my takeout is that love feels younger as cynicism/anticipation levels drop. maybe i am not using the right words here. i guess my point is that overall it's not so bad.you always have something to write about.
    honest labor needs no master

    Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream.

    Επί πάντων μέμνησο τα έσχατά σου, και ου μη αμαρτήσης

  34. #234
    voider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche the Child View Post
    <3 as someone who missed out on that (if i get what you mean), my takeout is that love feels younger as cynicism/anticipation levels drop. maybe i am not using the right words here. i guess my point is that overall it's not so bad.you always have something to write about.
    Yeah, young love is "young" because of its innocence. If you manage to find that innocence later in life, or carry it with you, then you'll have a young love.

  35. #235
    thework.com Kalinoche the Child's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    Yeah, young love is "young" because of its innocence. If you manage to find that innocence later in life, or carry it with you, then you'll have a young love.
    Yes
    honest labor needs no master

    Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream.

    Επί πάντων μέμνησο τα έσχατά σου, και ου μη αμαρτήσης

  36. #236
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    Yeah, young love is "young" because of its innocence. If you manage to find that innocence later in life, or carry it with you, then you'll have a young love.
    I don't think you will find "innocence" later in life. You might, however, find someone you can believe in.

  37. #237
    thework.com Kalinoche the Child's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don't think you will find "innocence" later in life. You might, however, find someone you can believe in.
    i first came across the phrase '' to keep your disposition shiny keep your expectations tiny'' in a post of yours. aren't expectations and beliefs the same thing?
    honest labor needs no master

    Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream.

    Επί πάντων μέμνησο τα έσχατά σου, και ου μη αμαρτήσης

  38. #238
    voider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don't think you will find "innocence" later in life. You might, however, find someone you can believe in.
    It's because people misunderstand what innocence really means. I don't mean chastity. I mean continuously experiencing things and receiving them with a childlike joy. Then you'll never take them for granted. It will be like Christmas morning.

  39. #239
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
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    You can postpone your experiences, and thus preserve a kind of innocence. But innocence and experience are at odds, and one tends to be more experienced later in life, is what @Adam Strange means, I think.

  40. #240
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    IEI-Fe

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