Guillaine. But I just did the actual math, and the number seems to be 3.5. Lol. One of three, out of 250,000. I have my work cut out for me.
Or maybe I should be looking farther afield. What about those Russian brides?
Here's the math.
intelligent (above average) 50%
Age range: 6.5%
Attractive (at this point in the winnowing process, I'm easy): 60%
Resulting percent in the general population: 0.0014%
When I find her, she's going to be a "one in seventy thousand". Lol.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-31-2018 at 01:26 PM.
I feel your pain. I am a bit...shall we say bewildered by my duals, so many of them are NOT suited to me. Or I am not dualised or meeting the wrong ones. SO the chances of all compatibility areas working out are slim...But it happens, suddenly and randomly, the thing is to be ready, open, present, friendly, you.
@Adam Strange, @Guillaine
I wouldn't advise to focus on specific demographic criteria you want out of a partner, but more what you want out of a relationship. If it's a long term thing you want, ask yourself who you know that is willing and able to make this happen.
Duals need to have the same goals anyways, so even if you find an ESI woman in her 40s sp/sx attractive secure etc... she may not want the relationship you want. Adam, I think you're actually fighting a battle you cannot win, and you're making yourself unhappy in the process. The first rule of socionics is "let your feelings guide you", so if you feel good with a woman, focus on that, not on statistics.
Anyways, it's none of my business, but I don't understand why reduce your odds of being happy by closing yourself off to over 99 percent of the female population, lol.
Well, I'm being choosy because I've had experience with all the introverts in the socion, and sometimes for a twice-go-'round (LSI), and they are all exactly as predicted by theory.
I had a long marriage to a great social match, and a couple long relationships with emotional matches, and I'm now looking for a woman as described above.
You know, I used to buy these beater cars. You know the type. You buy them cheap, run them hard, and when they break you take the plates off and leave them by the side of the road. Not anymore.
BandD, Intelligence is just a personal preference of mine. I like smart women. They kind of open up the world for me. They make me think that I got a great deal in knowing them.
And feeling like you are getting a great deal is what good relationships are all about.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-03-2018 at 06:45 PM.
adam, I think I have an easier time mathematically with my duals than you considering there are a fair few SLI e6's out there but....the maths becomes even worse when you consider that those people would need to want/choose you back too.
Guillaine, yes, it's an interesting problem.
The first female ESI I met, whom I thought at first was an EII and hence I mentally placed as being off-limits, wanted to move in with me, but she was too young at 22.
The second female ESI I met is an Artist and is just about fucking perfect, but she seems to prefer dating females and doesn't seem to be attracted to me. Lol.
The third ESI was an intern and moved away after three months, but there was no real chemistry there.
The next few ESI's I talked to were women on the forum, and that really did not go well.
The next ESI was a woman I dated from an Entrepreneurial Center who is sx-last and just too distant for my taste. Probably we could connect on So, since she's so/sp/sx and I'm sx/so/sp, but I'm not interested in another sx-last.
The next ESI is kind of nice and reminds me of my grandmother, but she's in a relationship with a male ESI and isn't looking left or right at the moment and it might take years for that Identical relationship to change, if it ever does.
The next ESI I dated is an image of Peggy Lee but is Avoidant, so she's not a Possible.
Now there's one I'm looking at who is not sx-last, but she's a lot younger than I am and she's 6' tall and that makes dancing a problem. (I'm looking for an sx-connection; an Fi equal. I asked an emotionless and calculating Chinese LII female whom I work with, how would it look for an old guy like me to go out with a taller, rail-thin, younger woman? She said people would think I am rich. Goddam rational. I don't want to be a trope, I want to be a partner.
Do I sound too choosy? Yes, I'm choosy.
Overall, though, I think my problems are manageable. I think the right woman will come along and we'll have no trouble being attracted to each other.
Overthinker, you haven't lived until you've been in a romantic relationship with a person with a non-optimal attachment style.
Alternately, if you keep finding that all of your own relationships keep ending (or not starting) in the same way, there might be an answer for that in Attachment Theory.
But here, I'll let you read about it:
Like you say better to be choosy and have it last and help you love life and grow than keep having things not work after a short time.
No all Fe is genuine emotion.
That is why some hide or are quiet rather than express unpleasantness. When they are unpleasant, it took a hell of a lot to get that bad for them to show their hurt.
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...