The way I define this Fe is basically expression. Holding it back means it feels polite to try to be less expressive. It is a struggle, but I can make my face much blanker, or more studious, or businesslike, or whatever seems to be appropriate. I can say less, speak more slowly, leave spaces in my speech, be silent. I’ve tried quite a few things since keaning about socionics. Not saying it works very well tho.
Fe suggestives mirror my expression. They apparently don’t produce it innately, which when I was younger I didn’t understand, I thought they were probably a lot like me because I was mostly seeing them when they were interacting with me. Their faces brighten, they smile more, joke around (VERY bad jokes!), loosen up, become more expansive. Stuff like that.
So the difference between Fe suggestive and Fe polr is that one is responding in a detailed way to me, and the other seems not to be responding much ... it can be like a blank in the case of SLI. Fe polrs sometimes have literally made the same comment to me more than once back to back in a conversation because what I responded with went unprocessed. Or what they said went unprocessed?
SLI: “The yellow and gray paint you chose for the kitchen work well together.”
Me: “Oh thanks! I just wanted to match the stainless steel, really, and then I needed a warm color.”
SLI: [Looks at me blankly.] “The yellow and gray work well together.”
Me: “... Um ok ... uh ... thanks.” [Awkward grin.]
PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS