A long winded post about SEI vs EII; typing is a changing facet. Feedback is welcome, particularly from SEIs who can hopefully advise if my conclusions are sensible or not
For a long time I have identified more with Fi/Ne ego in both mbti and socionics than the proposed Si/Fe ego typing that others have given me...primarily because I canít see any case of me being Ďstrongí at Se and weaker at Ne. I have prided myself on being imaginative, considering all possibilities...in my own head a lot, dreamy, poetic... the stereotypes that SEI are not supposed to embody.
Yet, despite my disagreements with SEI being an option for myself, I have recently been focusing on the outside in, analysing how I am reacting in my new job situation, what my natural way of being is when I am not plagued by anxiety; for a long time I have felt non type-able due to my neurotic nerves. Another reason why I doubted I could be an Ip type. Thereís no way you would call be Ďlaidback and easygoingí. Except...on further reading Iíve discovered that itís actually the stable temperaments I.e. Ijs and Ejs who come across as unflappably in control while Ips can come across as calming and accepting but also moody and changeable. Which perhaps explains my temperament better. I can be easygoing with others and have been told that I am a calming welcoming influence on others, gentle, shy yet accommodating.
But what about my lack of will power volitional sensing? I canít deny that Iím not good with Se. SEIs are meant to be good but ignoring of it. I canít see a case for me being good at it or even Si. Though I am learning through my new job and growing esteem that I am not as bad as I have believe I have been. I did an abseil for charity last year off a 7 story building. I wasnít fearless. But I wanted to challenge myself and have the experience. And Iíve also felt gross and unfashionable for my whole adolescent and young adult life (I saw my clumsiness with colours and makeup as proof of weak Si). But I am hopefully finding my stride now and on looking back at some of my outfit choices, experimental and formal occasion wear, I wasnít actually as terrible as I thought I looked. So my point is maybe the things I believed I sucked at are actually the things I am now realising that I was never that weak at in the first place?
Who knows? I also didnít see myself as a caregiver. Pseudocaregiver or Victim as more likely. But I would say I do naturally fall into the roll of looking after others needs, giving them a emotional, mental and physical Ďsafe spaceí. I kinda adapt to what others need and expect from me. Sounds a bit doormat-like when I put it like this. I do tend to neglect my own preferences and needs for others but only up to a certain point. I do try to look after my own physical mental and emotional well-being, usually by retreating into daydream, curled up in fluffy bed socks with a book land.
I relate more to fictional types SEIs than EIIs; I can see myself more in the overarching characterisations of those who are soft spoken, friendly, try to see the positives while sometimes being a bit insecure and unsure of their abilities. Maybe a hallmark of weak valued Ne is the fact that I see mostly negative possibilities or none at all, and freak myself out?
Anyways, I find it harder now to be firm in my EII self typing. I always thought if I wasnít EII I was definitely IEI or an intuitive. Sensors get bad raps. Little wonder why Iíve stifled the prospect of being one for a long time. Who wants to admit out loud to even their self that theyíre not a fantastical N unicorn creature and instead typecast as a hedonist with no imagination or integrity?
Again, thank you to anyone whoís read this all through. Any feedback from typed Alpha SFs or Delta NFs would be helpful for further clarity