Do you have a mentor?

[niffer]

Can be someone you admire and look up to, where you feel doing so is a guiding light for how to make your own light shine as a person *vomits from the wording* ​but yeah do you?

[falsehope]

I don't have mentor. I try to figure out things myself and it's not difficult for me to do. I am also regarding philosophical mentoring as something only not really healthy people are engaging in. To me, having philosophical questions is like having some serious issues with life. Also philosophy of science is utter bullshit.
Regarding mentoring at work, it was like older guys usually had no clue about anything anyway, so I've never had a mentor and never wanted to have one.

[niffer]

I don't have mentor. I try to figure out things myself and it's not difficult for me to do. I am also regarding philosophical mentoring as something only not really healthy people are engaging in. To me, having philosophical questions is like having some serious issues with life. Also philosophy of science is utter bullshit.
Regarding mentoring at work, it was like older guys usually had no clue about anything anyway, so I've never had a mentor and never wanted to have one.

Have you ever met anyone in life you’ve looked up to?

[Cosmic Teapot]

I have/ had but usually I grow bored with them after a few months and move on. I'm fascinated in the beginning, learn as much as I can until I don't find anything new. Once I'm able to critisize their worldview/ opinions/ ways of doing things I know that I've understood everything I need to know.
It's the best way to become tired of someone which is sad actually.

[niffer]

I can think of a few off the top of my head:

- Good older female friend, workmate and career sugar mama, an ILI in her 40s
- My optometrist, a beautiful SLE lady probably in her 40s too (but she looks young), works side by side with her IEI husband daily, cooks, cleans and has raised 3 kids
- My late LIE grandpa, and ESI grandma
- My older female ILE boss
- A previous female LIE boss I had, VP of a large organization in a foreign country for her, multilingual, 2 kids

My peers: LIE and SEE best friends
Slightly older female friends: @Deer Woman and @Myst

[Sanguine Miasma]

A person is just part of the cosmos. I suppose a person should mentor themselves against something they are part of. In case you want something more just dying out which according to me is well respectable of view life as well.

Psychological help is not for me as it would be fun to turn everything into philosophical debate which would just leave recipient confused because I could turn everything around. As a matter of fact based on previous I'd like to try psychological help in order to test therapist's beliefs and when they'd start to go into denial of their life inside of social foundation in which they are rooting on their own existence.

[falsehope]

Have you ever met anyone in life you’ve looked up to?

Unfortunately no, I just see people as other types with different values and goals and then I think it doesn't apply to me. And when it's ILE he usually has totally different idea for life so it doesn't apply as well. Or rather, when I see other ILE at work and in my town I think I am happy to be myself hehehe.

It's easy to think "oh how good is to be someone else", but then I know it's because it's different type and he is just in different kind of hell.

I wish I was myself. I don't wish to be like anybody else. Or crave for their advice.

[squark]

No, I've never had a mentor. It's weird because even when I was a kid I felt like a lot of adults looked up to me instead of the other way around, and I had teachers talking to me like I was one of them and asking for my advice since I was around 8 or so. . . but I'm probably less mature as an adult than I was as a kid heh. At least sometimes it seems that way.

There are certainly people who I like and respect, find interesting, appreciate, value their input etc. but I can't say that there's anyone that I look up to or would want to emulate.

[niffer]

Hmmm... Interesting. I wonder if it’s a cultural thing.

[niffer]

 

In a way. My maternal grandmother and step grandfather. They both always had their crap together and were constantly working and going on vacations. My grandma had three kids, got her degree, and went on to be a manager at a really big company our area. She developed really bad rheumatoid arthritis while she was in college that deformed her hands and feet, but was still one of the most energetic and enthusiastic people I've ever met. She never let it stop her. The company where she worked was where she met my step grandfather, also a manager at the same company. They were always doing something, and even when they retired, my grandma sold cars and was very good at it, and my grandfather made his own small company. She was the one that started taking me to the library at a very early age and cultural festivals, museums...My Step-grandfather took on his step grandkids as his own and they would watch us all summer, take us on vacations. My step grandfather is probably the most organized person I've ever met. He makes lists of everything. He would plan out our whole vacations to the extreme. Everything with them was like a pillar of stability and clockwork. They were also very involved in the community in my area. If I was ever in trouble, I knew they'd have my back or come to my rescue no matter what, they were reliable like that.

 

I admire them more than anyone else, but I also see their short comings, how they are human. My step grandfather could be very rude and inconsiderate, his word was law when we were with them an there was no room for argument, no matter how good it might be. My cousin and him argued constantly but we got along grand. My grandma had many affairs in her first marriage, however my maternal grandfather started it, so...and she had a terrible temper. There are lots of stories revolving around her and shot guns and threatening people with them. But I kind of liked her temper...she had a great sense of humor, too. We could laugh about stuff together like that (while it would shock some people like my mom, lol).

But they had characteristics that I admire. Like why can't I be more like that? But there are also ways they were that I wouldn't want to be like. So I remember what I think is good and try to incorporate it in my life and remember the bad and recognize I don't want to be like that. I don't really want to change myself to be like anyone else, but it just becomes a part of what I value, and I think them helping raise me had a huge impact on me today. However I beat myself up because I don't feel like I have their drive, consistency, and people skills. I admire it, though, a lot. They are always the first, and only people, that pop in my mind when someone asks this. I had a lot of respect for them both and they meant a lot to me.

Nice, thanks aster!

[Adam Strange]

I never had a mentor per se, but I have had people I've learned some things from.

When I started my first business, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and managed to make more mistakes than you can imagine. (I'm still doing this.) At the time, I blamed my inexpertise on my lack of good examples in my life. No one I knew ran a business. They were either large company employees or worked for the government, which are activities which encourage "lifer-ism" (never, ever rock the boat) and discourage entrepreneurialism.

At a midpoint in this process of trying to turn a profit at my company, when I was up to my ass in alligators and the swamp was spreading, I thought it would have been nice to have had a mentor who could show me which things were important to focus on and which things weren't, but there was just no one around. I can't tell you how much time and money this wasted, or how much grief it caused.

About ten years ago I discovered that I'm LIE and I started looking at other people's types through their behavior. I realized that I had had one boss who was LIE (he and I got along great and he took a failing company and operationally turned it around in a recession), but all of my other bosses had such different approaches to work that they basically had nothing to teach me. Most, in fact, were good at what I think of as creating negative value. This means taking a potentially productive employee, limiting their scope, and setting them to work at tasks which are less productive than their salaries (because they can't see what these people are good at and aren't inclined to find out). Observing this process made me a believer in the idea of synergy, where the group is more productive than the sum of its individual parts. It also showed me clearly why most companies put money into legally fencing off areas to preserve their own sales, instead of into innovation. Most companies can't innovate to save their lives.

Recently, I've had the opportunity to show other LIE's how to do things better (no other type seems to "hear" what I have to say about business, which is perfectly understandable), and I've learned a lot by observing a how a couple of older LIE's do business. But it's mostly just observation of behavior, it's not active mentoring. Mentoring would be better, but demonstration and observation are the best that I can do right now.

[niffer]

I wonder if this might be a feature of Ni seeking for me. I may seek a “dream”, vision or goal in the form of another person.

I had almost no life aspirations before I met my SLE optometrist, that I can remember. Afterwards, I realized I wanted to become a cool lady with a loving husband like her. I just found life uninteresting before that and didn’t have any visions of what I wanted in life or a real life image of success to me that seemed realistic enough for me.

Demonstration and observation is often more than enough, @Adam Strange .

[Aramas]

Can be someone you admire and look up to, where you feel doing so is a guiding light for how to make your own light shine as a person *vomits from the wording* ​but yeah do you?

No.

[niffer]

No.

O.o

[Adam Strange]

I wonder if this might be a feature of Ni seeking for me. I may seek a “dream”, vision or goal in the form of another person.

I had almost no life aspirations before I met my SLE optometrist, that I can remember. Afterwards, I realized I wanted to become a cool lady with a loving husband like her. I just found life uninteresting before that and didn’t have any visions of what I wanted in life or a real life image of success to me that seemed realistic enough for me.

Demonstration and observation is often more than enough, @Adam Strange .

They are about 30% of the total. They don't answer specific questions (How should I set prices? Is it better to rent space or own? Do I need business insurance, and if so, how much? Should I offer the employees stock? How much ownership should be retained, and how do I find and screen the right people to hire? Is this even the best business to be in? What business are we in, exactly?) All demonstration and observation do is point you in the general direction. They don't offer any encouragement and they don't prevent problems.

[niffer]

They are about 30% of the total. They don't answer specific questions (How should I set prices? Is it better to rent space or own? Do I need business insurance, and if so, how much? Should I offer the employees stock? How much ownership should be retained, and how do I find and screen the right people to hire? Is this even the best business to be in? What business are we in, exactly?) All demonstration and observation do is point you in the general direction. They don't offer any encouragement and they don't prevent problems.

Just tell them to google it.

[ouronis]

Mentoring is a very efficient way to learn non-obvious things about a skill or trade. Without mentoring, humanity would be nowhere near where it is. Usually I have a mentor or two for whatever my main pursuit in life happens to be at the time.

[timber]

I've had several over the years.

[timber]

I have/ had but usually I grow bored with them after a few months and move on. I'm fascinated in the beginning, learn as much as I can until I don't find anything new. Once I'm able to critisize their worldview/ opinions/ ways of doing things I know that I've understood everything I need to know.
It's the best way to become tired of someone which is sad actually.

This is so SLI. I'm the same way.

[Spermatozoa]

No. I am not into ageplay.

[idontgiveaf]

God

[inumbra]

No. I haven't understood the concept. I don't know how to connect with people. In college for instance I hid in the back of classrooms and was afraid of interacting with the prof/instructor.

But I now understand the role and importance of mentors even though I don't know how to form relationships.

I still cringe every time I hear/read the word "role model," especially when people are using it regarding celebrities and fictional characters.