Originally Posted by
schwiftyrickty
Yeah, one of my frustrations with SEIs has actually been in their unwillingness to learn or study just for the sake of it. I'll start talking to one (mainly talking about my ex and my sister) about something I've been really into lately and they'll be engaged and seem interested in the topic and I urge them to do some independent study so we can have more in-depth conversations about it later and they can bring their own knowledge to the table and we can kind of combine our ideas and our understanding can grow exponentially from there. But they lose interest once I stop talking about it. Or they'll remain interested but rely on me to answer all their questions about it even though I am not exactly an expert in the topic. It makes me feel good to be looked at as a source of information, but I just wish they'd do some independent research.
And I have kind of caught myself talking to my ex (I know we aren't even together anymore so I talk about her too much but we lived together like 5 years and we know more about each other than anyone else) the same way my dad used to talk to my mom. Making her feel illogical and emotional. We would sometimes get into these heated arguments about what was correct that she would almost always end up crying by the end. But to me we were just having a fun debate, but apparently I got too passionate and she felt like I was being mean and acting like she was stupid (and I never once thought she was stupid. She's smarter than me in most ways, and definitely more educated). Like I literally had no idea she was getting upset or why she would be getting upset until she started crying. I made her cry a lot. And I never meant to be mean at all. (Maybe she just cries a lot in general.) And then I would piss her off more by trying to explain why her being upset makes no sense. I look back at situations like this and can see a case for me having weak Fi.
Being around ethical folks always makes me feel logical. And being around logical folks makes me feel ethical lol. I don't feel logical enough to keep up with logical people and apparently I unintentionally bully ethical people if we're close enough.
Yeah I see what you mean, it makes sense that you'd want people who study things on your level so that you can talk about it with them in more depth, whatever your type is. I actually wrote about how I think types should try to develop their weaker functions so they can be more well-rounded individuals and provide their duals with a more fulfilling interaction, instead of just relying on their duals to take care of those things. I think most people still want to see their ego functions used well enough by their partner, even if the dual seeking and HA functions are the bigger priority for them. So it makes sense to me that you'd want her to do her own studying, if you're ILE. It could suggest that maybe you're seeking a SLI's logic, too.
Reply With Quote