Please type me before I die from uncertainty

[Myst]

Hello again

I think my own thoughts are very random but I make an effort to at least attempt to organize them. I go on a lot of tangents. I'll have random interjections that I must follow or I might forget and the thought could have lead to something important. So if I'm writing for example, I'll take my tangent to a completely different page, do what I can with it, then when I'm done I go back to the original page/thought. So my notebooks look crazy in a way, but they help keep my thoughts organized. Like I'll have a story or journal entry that may be a dozen or more pages but it's constantly being interrupted by unrelated things, all on their own pages. Every so often I go through all my notebooks and tear out pages that are important or show promise and put them in a 3 ring binder and organize the pages by category.

Or a lot of times when I write I will digress but I usually put the digressions in parentheses (like so. It's probably not a great practice but no teacher or anyone has ever called me out on it. And usually the asides are somewhat amusing so I guess it's kind of part of my "voice") so I don't lose my original train of thought. This is something I've done since I was a child.

Lol I sometimes can get into extra elaborations like that when journaling trying to sort out complex stuff for myself. It for me is about precision of defining things when describing them. But yeah I put them in parentheses a lot. I don't have the time or the energy to stop and reorganize all the section along with these elaborations in a way that it doesn't need the parentheses but instead with the elaborations becoming an integrated part of the main section. I suspect your stuff is more tangential though compared to mine...

Anyway, yeah, Ne leads don't feel like they are jumping all over the place to me, they just have a consistent flow of vague ideas so to speak... Maybe it's jumping all over the place but I cannot follow it enough lol? Idk, but for sure with Ne creative it's more obvious jumping around to me. Oh, it is like... with Ne creatives it gets a bit more concretely seen by me, so their ideas/words get translated into concrete variables/concrete objects for me, and then those are what seem to be annoyingly randomly shifted around by the Ne creative. I don't seem to be able to translate the ideas of Ne leads into concrete things so readily. Like I said, more vague than that...

Does this make sense?

Are you saying you also prefer your superego to your conflictor? I have heard that super-ego relationships can be more outwardly acrimonious.

Did you make a typo in the question? Anyway, yeah, superego is "more outwardly acrimonious" for me, yes. That IEE I dated, it didn't get so bad as in having frequent conflicts all over the place, more like, the relationship itself and the communication in it just got completely unmanageable eventually lol. Arguably, that's worse than a conflict-ridden yet overall maintainable superego relationship. Maintainable in the sense that it doesn't get worse beyond a point, it retains some overall stability.

When I read about LSIs, it's always rules and structure. Which I hate. Being told to follow a rule just because it is a rule is one of the quickest ways to piss me off. I need to understand why a rule exists and I have to agree with its practicality and logic. And I take great pleasure in breaking arbitrary rules.

LSIs seem kind of harsh. Idk if Javert from Les Mis is actually LSI, but I often see him typed that way, but I hate that character more than any other character lol. I know he's the "bad guy" and you're not really supposed to like him, but I usually have no trouble sympathizing with "bad guys". Actually I tend to prefer them. But fuck Javert. His existence was meaningless and I took great pleasure in his suicide.

Yeah, Javert is LSI, but wow I wonder why you hate the LSI stuff lol.

However, your response to the rules stuff seems like a Ti ego response, specifically Alpha Ti. You want to understand the why behind the rule. That's definitely Ti. And you insist that the rule make sense overall and I suppose this is the Alpha idealism, Betas don't care that much about that (it's more important that the rule work well with Se agendas instead).

SLEs...My stepdad is SLE so I know at least one very well, but it seems like 50% of the men I know are SLE. I can tolerate the 7w8s and to an extent the cp 6w7s (not really though) but I cannot tolerate the 8w7s very well. I can't stand aggression and harshness. Loudness. Alpha male attitudes. We always butt heads.

I don't mind SEEs so much. Their Se is softened by Fi. They may be loud and pushy at times, but they care. ILEs can also rub me the wrong way with their sometimes harsh and categorical statements. Plus they can be annoying and try to push your buttons for the fun of it.

Hmm I find it's really the ILE-Ti's that have the sometimes harsh and categorical statements. I don't have a big sample of ILE-Ne's I've known but they seem softer. ILE-Ti's do calm down after a while too though.

I don't think I'm SEI either, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about it. If I am SEI then my understanding of socionics is totally flawed. But I do think I appear to have a kind of Ixxp attitude. I don't seem to be an extravert at all. I seek interaction less than even most introverts I know. Also the SEI-Fe subtype description does sound a lot like me. And I am pretty pleasure seeking but don't care about comfort. (Is that more Si- or Si+? My understanding is that Si- [Delta right?] is more about avoiding discomfort and Si+ is more about creating pleasant sensations. In that case I am more Si+. I love and need pleasure (though my idea of pleasure is often not related to anything physical. I consider making lists deeply pleasurable. Or Daydreaming. Or matching my socks while I listen to podcasts [I guess that's technically physical]. Planning is a big one, but I rarely actually do anything.) but I don't care about discomfort/comfort in the slightest. Or things like furniture/decor/lighting. Trivial.

Lol the bolded

Also I don't eat. All the Si doms I know take great pleasure in food. For me it's a hassle and I resent the fact that I need to eat to survive. I wish I could just inject all my nutrients and calories lol. And hopefully gain 30 lbs in the process.

But I do love to sleep. Mostly because I love to dream and doze in and out and let ideas come to me. I will always choose sleeping over eating. If I am hungry sometimes I just go to sleep.

When I do eat I usually just eat peanut butter right out of the jar or drink disgusting protein shakes. Sometimes I'll wrap a pickle spear in some ham. Or I'll eat handfuls of nuts even though I hate them.

And I eat as fast as I can so I can get it over with. People say I eat like I'm in prison and I'm afraid someone is going to steal my food. I don't chew much and I prefer to stick to liquids. I like soup. Chewing is annoying. I actually chew gum though. But gum is different. It's mindless. Eating and cooking takes too much energy and focus. I might even start eating something and enjoy it at first and get tired of eating it halfway through and throw it away.

Lol god!! Forget SEI for yourself, please. Chewing and eating being tiring? Ne is really strange.

Hi @schwiftyrickty! Lol for what it's worth, IEE doesn't seem too far off as a possibility, but I'm leaning slightly more towards ILE for you. I watched your videos and read through lots of your posts. I don't have many concrete reasons, but you just seemed to give off a Fe-valuing vibe rather than Fi-valuing, even if you're most interested in people.

Plus I felt really comfortable, happy, and engaged listening to you explain yourself in your videos, and it reminded me of the way I felt talking with other ILEs in real life. Especially when your sentences were most spontaneous/natural. Then I felt intellectually intrigued the way ILEs help me feel (as opposed to IEEs).

Personal impressions like this aren't necessarily a good indicator of types, but this is my two cents.

Yeah, I think that is a good point about the spontaneity of expression (?) thing. I've seen that with ILEs only, really, I'm not sure how I can put it into words though. It's like... kind of an innocent curious spontaneity? It's kind of cute actually in some ILEs to me. And emotionally the expression is not very refined but I may have mentioned that before. I'd have to watch the video again to say more.