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Thread: IEI and being bipolar

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    Default IEI and being bipolar

    Is it normal for IEIs to be bipolar kinda? I've noticed every other day I will feel pretty happy/peaceful/content/inspired and the next grimdark/moody/overly-sensitive/victim-y and everything hurts me-ish.

    - and it feels like the only thing that would make me happy when I'm on a 'dark day' is if I'm raped by a SLE. This is a weird paradox, because you can't rape the willing- yet I actually do just want to be pounced on by a SLE. So it doesn't make sense yet at the same time- it makes all the sense in the world.

    also can science finally prove that male IEIs do in fact get periods, just no menstrual blood comes out.

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    every once in a while I start to think maybe I'm too hard on beta.. then I read something like this

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    It's not "normal" for anyone, it just means that you haven't learned how to control your emotional states yet. It seems like these skills are often acquired as a child, when they're confronted by hardship and they're forced to come up with a solution, and the parent often encourages the child to come up with a solution on their own for their emotional troubles. It's often when the parent is too neglectful, that people turn out this way. But it doesn't mean that this skill can't be learned later in life.

    Obviously, there are going to be some personal differences, and some people are going to be more emotional than others, etc. But if you can learn how to control your emotions, then you will be able to stabilize your emotions over time.

    So if you want to be "raped" by someone, then that's just your attempt to control or distract yourself from turbulent or negative emotions, just like someone might turn to alcohol or some other forms of dependencies to numb their pain away, but obviously, that's not going to work because it's not a good, working solution to the problem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bnd View Post

    also can science finally prove that male IEIs do in fact get periods, just no menstrual blood comes out.
    There are medical conditions like this.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/hea...terectomy.html

    He said: "The diagnosis came as a bombshell. I've never seen myself as anything but an ordinary bloke who has a normal sex life. I was shocked when the consultant said I had a fully functioning set of women's reproductive organs, and I was even having periods.
    "It appears I could even potentially get pregnant. But I've been told by doctors I'll be having a hysterectomy in the next few weeks. Bizarrely, that could lead to menopause."
    [...]
    Experts say about 120 babies a year are born in Britain with the same condition as Rob, but it is exceptionally rare for cases to be uncovered so late in life.
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    every once in a while I start to think maybe I'm too hard on beta.. then I read something like this.
    Heh, don't get too cocky, I was purposefully exaggerating/being self-effacing for your own amusement.

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    @Singu

    First part of your post is bullshit to me because my parents were the opposite. Not neglectful at all.

    Your last paragraph was pretty good though. Obviously I don't want to be seriously sexually assaulted- it's just helpful to have something a bit forceful to snap me back to reality.

    Normal social stuff doesn't quite do it, I was especially moody today and I think my sister is ESI and everything she said irritated me even though objectively there was nothing really wrong with what she said. Gammas are just too dry and boring.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    every once in a while I start to think maybe I'm too hard on beta.. then I read something like this
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    Quote Originally Posted by bnd View Post
    @Singu

    First part of your post is bullshit to me because my parents were the opposite. Not neglectful at all.
    Well what were they like?

    When research teams led by Carole Hooven and John Gottman at the University of Washington did a microanalysis of interactions in couples on how the partners handled their children, they found that those couples who were more emotionally competent in the marriage were also the most effective in helping their children with their emotional ups and downs.

    These are the three most common emotionally inept parenting styles:

    Ignoring feelings altogether. Such parents treat a child's emotional upset as trivial or a bother, something they should wait to blow over. They fail to use emotional moments as a chance to get closer to the child or to help the child learn lessons in emotional competence.

    Being too laissez-faire. These parents notice how a child feels, but hold that however a child handles the emotional storm is fine—even, say, hitting. Like those who ignore a child's feelings, these parents rarely step in to try to show their child an alternative emotional response. They try to soothe all upsets, and will, for instance, use bargaining and bribes to get their child to stop being sad or angry.

    Being contemptuous, showing no respect for how the child feels. Such parents are typically disapproving, harsh in both their criticisms and their punishments. They might, for instance, forbid any display of the child's anger at all, and become punitive at the least sign of irritability. These are the parents who angrily yell at a child who is trying to tell his side of the story, "Don't you talk back to me!"

    And finally, the good one:

    Finally, there are parents who seize the opportunity of a child's upset to act as what amounts to an emotional coach or mentor. They take their child's feelings seriously enough to try to understand exactly what is upsetting them ("Are you angry because Tommy hurt your feelings?") and to help the child find positive ways to soothe their feelings ("Instead of hitting him, why don't you find a toy to play with on your own until you feel like playing with him again?").

    In order for parents to be effective coaches in this way, they must have a fairly good grasp of the rudiments of emotional intelligence themselves. One of the basic emotional lessons for a child, for example, is how to distinguish among feelings; a father who is too tuned out of, say, his own sadness cannot help his son understand the difference between grieving over a loss, feeling sad in a sad movie, and the sadness that arises when something bad happens to someone the child cares about. Beyond this distinction, there are more sophisticated insights, such as that anger is so often prompted by first feeling hurt.

    As children grow the specific emotional lessons they are ready for—and in need of—shift. The lessons in empathy begin in infancy, with parents who attune to their baby's feelings. Though some emotional skills are honed with friends through the years, emotionally adept parents can do much to help their children with each of the basics of emotional intelligence: learning how to recognize, manage, and harness their feelings; empathizing; and handling the feelings that arise in their relationships.

    The impact on children of such parenting is extraordinarily sweeping. The University of Washington team found that when parents are emotionally adept, compared to those who handle feelings poorly, their children—understandably—get along better with, show more affection toward, and have less tension around their parents. But beyond that, these children also are better at handling their own emotions, are more effective at soothing themselves when upset, and get upset less often. The children are also more relaxed biologically, with lower levels of stress hormones and other physiological indicators of emotional arousal (a pattern that, if sustained through life, might well augur better physical health). Other advantages are social: these children are more popular with and are better-liked by their peers, and are seen by their teachers as more socially skilled. Their parents and teachers alike rate these children as having fewer behavioral problems such as rudeness or aggressiveness. Finally, the benefits are cognitive; these children can pay attention better, and so are more effective learners. Holding IQ constant, the five-year-olds whose parents were good coaches had higher achievement scores in math and reading when they reached third grade (a powerful argument for teaching emotional skills to help prepare children for learning as well as life). Thus the payoff for children whose parents are emotionally adept is a surprising—almost astounding—range of advantages across, and beyond, the spectrum of emotional intelligence.
    Last edited by Singu; 04-05-2018 at 11:05 AM.

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    None of the above.

    I seriously cannot blame my parents for anything about me today. Compared to most of my peers and close friends, my parents were saints who did nothing wrong. They did the best job possible while at the same time giving me my space. They had a tendency to over-panic sometimes and not calm down. I think I might have absorbed some of this.

    Its been like this as far as I can remember. Even way back in early grade school.

    Interesting data, I just don't think it applies to my current situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bnd View Post


    Heh, don't get too cocky, I was purposefully exaggerating/being self-effacing for your own amusement.
    It was rather campy.

    Have you been diagnosed with bipolar 1 or 2?

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    Quote Originally Posted by bnd View Post
    None of the above.

    I seriously cannot blame my parents for anything about me today. Compared to most of my peers and close friends, my parents were saints who did nothing wrong. They did the best job possible while at the same time giving me my space. They had a tendency to over-panic sometimes and not calm down. I think I might have absorbed some of this.

    Its been like this as far as I can remember. Even way back in early grade school.

    Interesting data, I just don't think it applies to my current situation.
    Well yes, it doesn't necessarily have to do with parents. But it's still an issue with the ability to control your own emotions. Some people automatically learn this while growing up, some don't.

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    Not really. That implies I make bad choices/decisions based on my feelings and I don't really- i know how to toughen up and stuff and do things anyway.

    But the feelings are there.

    You seem to think this is a 'problem' more than me. I think it makes me fun and interesting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bnd View Post
    Not really. That implies I make bad choices/decisions based on my feelings and I don't really- i know how to toughen up and stuff and do things anyway.

    But the feelings are there.

    You seem to think this is a 'problem' more than me. I think it makes me fun and interesting.
    It depends on if you think that it's a problem or not. If you think that everything is dark and depressing and there's no hope and everything hurts, then maybe that's a state of mind that you'd like to get away from. If you think the only way to make you happy when you're in that state is to "be raped", then I don't think that would be a very good solution to the problem, nor is it making you see any alternatives. And you're wondering whether this is "normal" or not. Well, do you think that it is?

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    Is it possible your desire to be "raped" exists due to your dark state of mind? Or perhaps your mind is dark because you want to be raped. Is it so inherent but unrecognized that it has always lay dormant until the day you gained "cognizant sexual will"?
    Last edited by nyessss; 04-06-2018 at 02:15 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by muhtempus View Post
    Is it possible your desire to be "raped" exists due to your dark state of mind?
    bnd is one of the oldest members on the site lol. Don't sleep in the forest too long.

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    [QUOTE=bnd;1265374]- i know how to toughen up and stuff and do things anyway.
    /QUOTE]

    This is a very unattractive trait for one who desires the submissive role my dude. I suggest you find a way to discard it as soon as possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pallas Athena View Post
    bnd is one of the oldest members on the site lol. Don't sleep in the forest too long.
    I was trying to think of a reply to this. It seems like the mind dives into an abyss instead? On a more relevant note, do you suppose this has anything to do with his deep, dark phantasies? *coining the Jungian term seeing as it's pertinent to the situation*

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    Quote Originally Posted by muhtempus View Post
    I was trying to think of a reply to this. It seems like the mind dives into an abyss instead? On a more relevant note, do you suppose this has anything to do with his deep, dark phantasies? *coining the Jungian term seeing as it's pertinent to the situation*
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    At least you know what would potentially make you happy on these dark days :-)

    It’s mostly about playing a sexual victim in the mind though is it?

    Lol, once upon a time as a child I played a victim game with my dolls where the poor doll would give birth after being raped in my mind and had children of all looks and races.

    These days I only have an occasional dream where I might be taken advantage of when tied to a rock table or church alter etc

    Enjoy your dreams.

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    Quote Originally Posted by muhtempus View Post
    This is a very unattractive trait for one who desires the submissive role my dude. I suggest you find a way to discard it as soon as possible.
    Nope. Se valuing is Se valuing.

    The fuck do you know about beta?
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    Lol I get those phases from time to time including the wanting to get raped bit (but then I drown myself in movies, food, online shopping, and alcohol as a distraction bc wellp, doing those things is a lot easier than having to get up and move).

    Dom Ni types prolly get these moments of inertia and feelings of emptiness more often than other types imo. You prolly just need to get dragged out on an adventure of sorts. Get flung into the ocean. Go ghost hunting in abandoned buildings. Something to “shock” u into feeling inspired again. This is where Se ego types come in handy lol
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    Have you been diagnosed with an actual bipolar disorder?

    I'm not a mental health professional, or anything of that sort, but I'm pretty interested in psychopathology and I know this sounds more like cyclothymia than bipolar. The manic and depressive episodes tend to last longer than a a day in bipolar patients. The duration vary from case to case, but one of the main points is that you have to experience mania for at least a week or longer to be diagnosed with bipolar. These episodes can last far more than that though, there are people who can stay manic or depressive for months and then suddenly their mood switches rapidly for no actual reason.

    Cylothymia is different though and the episodes usually don't last longer than a day or two, they often change even quicker and you can experience feeling happy and uplifted one minute and sad, gloomy the other. You can experience several changes of mood during the day.

    This is usually seen a symptom rather than an actual disease and mental health professionals rarely diagnose actual cylothymia. It mostly relates to more severe issues.


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    Quote Originally Posted by bnd View Post
    Is it normal for IEIs to be bipolar kinda?
    No in clinical sense. But IEI may to have predisposition, being emotional as F and unstable as P. Their mood may change quickly and strongly, without external reasons as they have good imagination.

    > and it feels like the only thing that would make me happy when I'm on a 'dark day' is if I'm raped by a SLE.

    duality opposes depressive states suggestive Se may associate with rape fantasy
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    @bnd
    Hi. I really do have Bi-polar disorder. If a doctor has not diagnosed you, you might just need to be raped by an SLE. Hint: they can't find you unless you go outside.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    This is usually seen a symptom rather than an actual disease and mental health professionals rarely diagnose actual cylothymia. It mostly relates to more severe issues.
    What more severe issues are you referring to?

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    Quote Originally Posted by dead bnd View Post
    Is it normal for IEIs to be bipolar kinda? I've noticed every other day I will feel pretty happy/peaceful/content/inspired and the next grimdark/moody/overly-sensitive/victim-y and everything hurts me-ish.

    - and it feels like the only thing that would make me happy when I'm on a 'dark day' is if I'm raped by a SLE. This is a weird paradox, because you can't rape the willing- yet I actually do just want to be pounced on by a SLE. So it doesn't make sense yet at the same time- it makes all the sense in the world.

    also can science finally prove that male IEIs do in fact get periods, just no menstrual blood comes out.
    I know you’re doing high camp, but if a serious question lurks behind it, what you describe sounds like a fairly normal range of human states. Maybe you’re right about an SLE as antidote and Se can help regulate you so you’re not feeling at the mercy of those states.

    Bipolar is more about clinical depression from mild to severe, and hypomania or mania. If you aren’t experiencing those things, it’s not bipolarity proper.

    P.S. you also sound bored
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    @golden

    Fair enough, but what is the difference between mania and simply being excited or carefree. It may seem obvious to others but it's kind of a murky gray area to me idk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dead bnd View Post
    @golden

    Fair enough, but what is the difference between mania and simply being excited or carefree. It may seem obvious to others but it's kind of a murky gray area to me idk.
    I’m not an expert so here’s my armchair treatise.

    I don’t think full-blown or severe mania—as in classic bipolar disorder—is so much about being carefree. It is hard to tell from, like, standard DSM lists what makes mania distinct from normal highs, but if you read case studies or relevant memoirs, you will be less likely to identify with it. Example: book called The Looney-bin Trip, by Kate Millet.

    Stuff like psychomotor agitation, pressured speech, not sleeping and not needing the sleep, moving toward delusions ... it’s kind of distinctive, and the manic state ime can be starkly unlike the manic person’s typical state. Mania is also ego-dystonic, meaning if you have it you don’t want it, it pains you, at least when you come down. The last two people I dealt with who were in manic states were very hard to understand, both their language and the concepts behind the language. They were up, but not exactly happy. They were losing touch with reality, too.

    Hypomania (milder mania) otoh *can* supposedly be kind of pleasant or normalishly productive for the person who has it, but I have read and been told that ppl with bipolar 2 (the “softer” form) experience depression much more often than hypomania. So on the whole it wouldn’t be worth the highs, as the shitty lows predominate.

    Tbh I have read and heard conflicting things, but on the whole mania seems to me to be states where the person is not very in control, is driven, may become super focused or even obsessive, may be agitated, tho may also be very engaging and larger than life. If your highs are not very extreme and not causing you and the people around you a whole lot of distress, my guess is you are not going in and out of mania.

    You could also look at cyclothymia, considered even milder than bipolar 1 and 2, but I don’t know much about it. If you really, truly wonder if you have a problem, if you are suffering from it, maybe see a psychiatrist if you can.
    Last edited by golden; 05-30-2018 at 04:53 AM.
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