Results 1 to 37 of 37

Thread: Are SEE overbearing to work with?

  1. #1
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Are SEE overbearing to work with?

    Could you please share your experiences?Anecdotal or bits of theory, everything helps.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  2. #2
    Uncle Ave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    1,466
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I find that usually, no, they are actually the opposite. IME they are friendly and respect boundries, they can be touchy though.

    I only had one experience where an SEE was overbearing, that was in the wild west of the theatre world, I was taking classes at an acting school, and one of the teachers second semester was Se-SEE and frankly unbearable. He was really demanding though not ever clear about what he wanted. It seems unusual for an Se ego to be so unclear, I think maybe he was doing it on purpose to show his power or just was completely unaware of the impact his actions and reactions had on others. He was a nightmare. Maybe the authority got to his head.

    So generally I find that they are fine to work with, except for that one teacher; that was the only bad experience I had with an SEE in a professional setting.

  3. #3
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Finland
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    1,913
    Mentioned
    135 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Cool

    I find them hard to work with. But maybe ive had bad luck with SEEs.

    Ive found that SEE bosses sometimes dont want to deal with coordinating the work at all. You are just supposed to do your job and figure things out yourself. If coordination is needed you do it between the other workers. This can lead to confusion. They can also be really vague with instructions
    Last edited by Tallmo; 03-26-2018 at 02:17 PM.

  4. #4
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    16,379
    Mentioned
    215 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    They are often vague with instructions but they will get really pissed if you don´t do stuff the way the expect you to do it.
    ESIs are not that different in this respect, they both need help from a Te type.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  5. #5
    Cosmic Teapot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    SLI 5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    1,173
    Mentioned
    124 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Worked with two SEEs (electrical engineer, project manager)They are DOERs. That's for sure. And by doers I mean that they like to occupy (formal or informal)positions of leadership. Some never leaned how to patiently listen to people. That's why they miss key information, don't think things trough. You'll have to repeat yourself to make sure that they understand. Conversations can go on forever without any progress (which can frustrate customers and colleagues alike). When they've made up their mind there is no point in talking further. They'll just filter out what they want to hear and always know better.
    Their biggest flaw is that they want to keep their promises, want everything to be good and efficient but lack the patience to work through all the details [1] and fabricate silly "strategies" to achieve their goals (which rarely work out in reality [2]... They are better when it comes to spontaneous solutions)
    The good thing is they are very persistent in what they want to achieve. From the outside it may look as if they are lucky but just because they're ti-polr people shouldn't underestimate their mental capabilities[3] and conscientiousness.
    Some acquire exceptional verbal skills, know how to deal with people on a personal and professional level. In conflict situations they can flair up, become emotional and overbearing but after some down time they quickly forget about it and act as if nothing happened.


    I wouldn't want to work with them again (esp. The project manager). The best people to work with, for me, are LII, ILEs, IXIs and to some extend XSEs but that depends on the environment, the individuals and type relations.


    [1] http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.p...Stratiyevskaya
    ^ I think this ist he best source for your question. Enough examples for SEEs contratictory behavior and the destabilizing effects

    SEE's position: "Give the power to those who are strong, kind, and successful (to those who have earned it) - let him be the leader, let him humanely and positively transform society and protect it against all possible hostile attacks." This program is extremely difficult to realize, first of all, because it is logically contradictory, and consequently it is only temporary, as well as deleterious and self-destructive.
    [2]
    To complicate the situation even further, she started dating a close friend of the man she has "chosen" and kept resorting to this "tactic" all the way until his wedding day. It was only after the day of his marriage that she decided to take action. At this point she started looking for any chances and opportunities to meet with him, to establish a close and trusting relationship with him, and to make the most favorable impression of herself. She was constantly searching for ways to advantageously distinguish herself from his current wife and make herself look as the "winning" opposite to her in everything. In her own words, this is how it went:

    "I've always tried to distinguish myself from her in the most beneficial to myself ways. Even at a wedding when the bride was dressed in all white, I came in a spectacular black dress. As soon as I arrived, other guests at the wedding started asking one another: "Who is she?" His friends and relatives came up to me and said, "Oh, what a pity that you aren't by the side of the groom. You are so beautiful!" And then I again thought to myself that he must be made my husband."

    Since that day, such "winning contrast" became the main behavioral style of this young SEE woman. When after half a year the young husband realized that all her efforts were directed at him, he was able to appreciate this and divorced his wife to marry this woman. That's how easily she has attained her success.
    [3]
    An example from the forum. I filled out the thehotelambush-questionnaire and received a thorough analysis by @Number 9 large (when he typed himself LSI). And I though "damn that's good. Exactly what I would expect from an LSI." Now he types himself SEE and exposed all my misconceptions about SEEs and their reasoning capabilities.
    Last edited by Cosmic Teapot; 03-26-2018 at 03:16 PM.

  6. #6
    fka lungs ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    Fi/Te 6 sp/sx
    Posts
    13,756
    Mentioned
    746 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    My SEE boss was the best I ever had. I liked her because she didn't micromanage, she just gave a rough outline of what she wanted with the perfect amount of detail on how to do it, and my experience was different from fdgs cuz she never complained about what I did. She also didn't expect a lot of small talk and was totally comfortable with me being quiet. She was very warm. Also she entertained me a lot cuz she was so passionate lmao, it was funny hearing her bitch ppl out from other departments and stuff, but she wasn't like that with her own people - she had kind of a mother hen attitude toward us. She could get kind of an attitude with me but when I showed I'm competent and cooperative she quickly reversed it.

  7. #7
    Ragdoll Lynx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    0-D ISTp sx/sp
    Posts
    2,634
    Mentioned
    318 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    It depends a lot on what is important for you or what you are looking for at work and what do you need for having a better performance. Personally, their energy and cheerfulness is very positive to me since I'm often unmotivated, sluggish, bored and tired. So I appreciate a lot their influence in the work atmosphere. If you care for doing stuff in a relaxed/familiar environment, you probably will be ok with them, as boss or colleague. In the contrary, if you are very serious and stressed, you probably suffer with them at work.

    I would choose them for being in my work team for sure. Contrary at what some may think, they have the ability of being really dedicated and focused if its needed. They usually do ok and are very capable of taking projects forward even if you see them fooling around. For sure they wont make me love daily work or routines, but they can usually make any kind of work much more bearable.

    So, they are good if you value freedom and relax, working at your own pace and not very formal atmosphere, but on the contrary, if you need seriousness, excessive order, routine, close guidance, rules etc, they can represent chaos and stress for you.

    About the overbearing stuff, well, it depends again in your type and how relaxed or easily offended you are. For sure SEEs dont work a lot in a classical "respectful" way, some can consider them as rude at some point (yes, even in formal or work atmosphere).The two SEE-Se I know tend to enter in some kind of "power" struggles, but just with certain individuals (usually whoever that looks too snobby or try to dominate/limit them in some way). They tend to have a mind of their own and can be stubborn depending the situation/maturity. However, they seem completely uninterested in entering in power struggles with me. They dont see me as a threat or someone interested in harm or dominate them I suppose. We usually become friends. I dont find them overbearing at all, pretty much the opposite.
    Last edited by Ragdoll Lynx; 03-26-2018 at 08:04 PM.

  8. #8
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    16,379
    Mentioned
    215 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    My SEE boss was the best I ever had. I liked her because she didn't micromanage, she just gave a rough outline of what she wanted with the perfect amount of detail on how to do it, and my experience was different from fdgs cuz she never complained about what I did.
    Perhaps I took it too far. Overall, my experience is more similar to the one of Cosmic Teapot, she provided a broader perspective.

    It´s not necessarily about me, the SEE leads a big team and almost everyone has met the "problems" I mentioned. Ofc there are also many positive points such as their enormous amount of energy and general positive attitude. SEEs are also really practical - they will listen if you provide a realistic reason for your decisions.

    However f.e. I hate hearing colleagues bitching about other people, because I know they can potentially bitch about me if something goes wrong. I know it´s just a pet pevee. I´d rather organize work around performance-related KPIs.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  9. #9
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    This is all very interesting to me.

    What I myself have noticed is that SEE will find something that is maybe causing a minor problem and make a capital case out of it. It is as if, in wanting to cut something out at the root, they employ all this Se emergency situation energy scenario under which they operate until the problem is gone. It is very energy consuming and not very efficient since the probability of this problem happening again is not well-calculated by the SEE: it could be a one-in-a-million case or a daily occurrence and the fear of it being a daily occurrence mobilizes SEE to go all out.

    I find this all very draining and it's the thing making me wonder if I'm EII. They are quite warm otherwise.

    Please continue to contribute whenever, i find this valuable.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  10. #10
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,075
    Mentioned
    88 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    ........What I myself have noticed is that SEE will find something that is maybe causing a minor problem and make a capital case out of it. It is as if, in wanting to cut something out at the root, they employ all this Se emergency situation energy scenario under which they operate until the problem is gone.........
    This is very true. Where ESIs will stew for a long time, SEEs want problems out of the way immediately so they tend to move to dramatics early; however, both types will only do so when they truly hold the high ground. In a sense, their processing style defeats gradual venting; they tend to explode when lose sight of the big picture - or daylight. EIIs will also explode but the trigger is usually when reality starts to gnaw at their big pictures - because they usually provide their own light....
    a.k.a. I/O

  11. #11
    Kids Turned Out Fine Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    3w4
    Posts
    9,074
    Mentioned
    708 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think it's more what the person doesn't have that makes them difficult to work with, as well as which elements you are lacking in. So, case by case: EII as a co-worker will deem SEE is overbearing because the amount of straightforward, even forceful conduct doesn't mix with their PoLR. While ILI won't call it that way, they will see it as pleasant because they like the rough-and-tumble shaking them up. Intertype relation will shape your perception of another.

  12. #12
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    This is very true. Where ESIs will stew for a long time, SEEs want problems out of the way immediately so they tend to move to dramatics early; however, both types will only do so when they truly hold the high ground. In a sense, their processing style defeats gradual venting; they tend to explode when lose sight of the big picture - or daylight. EIIs will also explode but the trigger is usually when reality starts to gnaw at their big pictures - because they usually provide their own light....
    a.k.a. I/O
    I'd say you've drawn some nice comparisons, they seem to the point. Cheers
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  13. #13
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    I think it's more what the person doesn't have that makes them difficult to work with, as well as which elements you are lacking in. So, case by case: EII as a co-worker will deem SEE is overbearing because the amount of straightforward, even forceful conduct doesn't mix with their PoLR. While ILI won't call it that way, they will see it as pleasant because they like the rough-and-tumble shaking them up. Intertype relation will shape your perception of another.
    Interesting, is this from your observations or extrapolation from theory? To me it is their (Sees) Se mobilization rather than straightforwardness that seems problematic in interaction. I'd say any Te type is more straightforward than See. I know ILI who comes across as a blunt instrument when compared to See's so-called straightforwardness - SEE create an emergency-like situation to solve something but it seems it is about sheer energy. What do you think?
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  14. #14
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Inside you
    TIM
    ILE-Ne 793 sx/so
    Posts
    1,917
    Mentioned
    150 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    SEEs often struggle to keep their mouths shut, but a little undercover diplomacy can go a long way with them.

    I suggest you insert something that will keep her quiet.
    You know that you are dead when someone puts you into a box and you are unable to devise a way to get out of it




  15. #15
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    On a chatbox diet
    TIM
    ESI maybe
    Posts
    6,485
    Mentioned
    173 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    This is all very interesting to me.

    What I myself have noticed is that SEE will find something that is maybe causing a minor problem and make a capital case out of it. It is as if, in wanting to cut something out at the root, they employ all this Se emergency situation energy scenario under which they operate until the problem is gone. It is very energy consuming and not very efficient since the probability of this problem happening again is not well-calculated by the SEE: it could be a one-in-a-million case or a daily occurrence and the fear of it being a daily occurrence mobilizes SEE to go all out.

    I find this all very draining and it's the thing making me wonder if I'm EII. They are quite warm otherwise.

    Please continue to contribute whenever, i find this valuable.
    I actually have this tendency, and find myself restraining myself often. (I dont think i'm SEE though).
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  16. #16
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    I actually have this tendency, and find myself restraining myself often. (I dont think i'm SEE though).
    That's interesting, Suz. Did you settle on a type?
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  17. #17
    عالم نفسي thehotelambush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    7,998
    Mentioned
    280 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    Could you please share your experiences?Anecdotal or bits of theory, everything helps.
    Typically Beta STs are the most overbearing as bosses -- SEEs don't have the Ti need for everything to be "just so". They can definitely be demanding but will often leave you to your own devices as long as you get the job done (Te). They are more mood-dependent however and can lash out at times.

  18. #18
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Typically Beta STs are the most overbearing as bosses -- SEEs don't have the Ti need for everything to be "just so". They can definitely be demanding but will often leave you to your own devices as long as you get the job done (Te). They are more mood-dependent however and can lash out at times.
    I know that Beta ST are worse in that they actually resolve to micromanage, but i was more curious about SEE. I think you have a point about their mood (yes, they can be moody), however I seem to see them controlling that in a work environment. Honestly ESI might be less prone to control their moodiness in a workplace environment.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  19. #19
    Haikus niffer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    TIM
    SLE-H 8w9 SX
    Posts
    2,815
    Mentioned
    279 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I see them as demanding rather than overbearing, if they are coming on strong. A few will talk your head off, which I guess some could find overbearing. I doubt other Se egos would feel this way about them though.

    Reading some earlier posts in the thread, I agree that some of them can emanate really strong emotionality, which I can experience as stifling or overbearing if it's different from my own emotions.

  20. #20
    MrsTortilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    California
    TIM
    ESI 468 sp/sx
    Posts
    456
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    Could you please share your experiences?Anecdotal or bits of theory, everything helps.
    When an SEE needs something to get done (by someone else) EDIT: urgently, they can be ultra impatient and exacting, tone can be sharp and they can be pretty demanding.

  21. #21
    Zero's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    My room
    TIM
    LIE
    Posts
    626
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    Could you please share your experiences?Anecdotal or bits of theory, everything helps.
    My EII sister finds SEEs overbearing to work with. She says her colleague talks too much and invades her personal space too much to the point that she can't concentrate and work efficiently and feels weak and downgraded by someone who she sees as troubled and in need of professional help. The SEE also sucks up to the boss in the eyes of the EII, which is unethical simply to keep position and power. She was so overwhelmed by her SEE office mate that she had to change her office to be able to feel normal again.
    On the other hand when I have SEEs on my team, even tho they can be distracting with their behaviour at times, I ignore and confront them, which the EII usually doesn't when they see someone needs help. SEEs push me to work more and outside of my usual hours which mixed with their social dominance, in the end keeps both of us happy.
    The thing with SEEs is you need to constantly watch out so they don't cross the red lines around the circle of your comfort. If they get in once, they'll automatically overpower you or even unconsciously use you thinking you're comfortable with being used so why not..Se stuff

    P.s. the SEE my sister knew sounded problematic and not all SEEs are like this, but it definitely tells something about the relationship dynamic I think. Also the Oldham closest personality disorder to SEE is borderline disorder and this SEE seemed to fit in that category

  22. #22
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    16,379
    Mentioned
    215 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    My EII sister finds SEEs overbearing to work with. She says her colleague talks too much and invades her personal space too much to the point that she can't concentrate and work efficiently and feels weak and downgraded by someone who she sees as troubled and in need of professional help.
    Tbh, I also see some SEEs like this, at the workplace...you need to position yourself in a superior standing to them if you want to interact with them decently. They're not all like this, but I know what your sister is talking about.
    The thing with SEEs is you need to constantly watch out so they don't cross the red lines around the circle of your comfort. If they get in once, they'll automatically overpower you or even unconsciously use you thinking you're comfortable with being used so why not..Se stuff
    Yeah, it's like this. OTOH if you are able to use their social dominance for your purposes, you can make them do tremendous amount of work for you. You need to act a bit like a ILI...

    Overall, I think it can be difficult for a rational type to interact with them closely, one-on-one, over a long period of time, but in a large group they can be great motivators and a real engine for positive change.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  23. #23
    xerxe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ministry of Love
    Posts
    5,920
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The most overbearing boss I had was this autistic guy who needed to micromanage everyone else's work to the minutest detail.

    He had zero understanding of personal boundaries, probably as a result of not grasping how people reacted to him. For instance, he had a habit of pushing people away from their workstations to redo their work when he saw something he didn't like; this would have been less frequent if he wasn't also in the habit of changing the project design on a whim without consulting anyone.

    This one time, he got aggressive because I didn't want to eat some greasy, store-bought pizza. Why did this offend him???

    He is quite possibly definitely the most unprofessional person I have ever met in my entire life. It would be way too soon if we meet again in 500 years.

  24. #24
    xerxe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ministry of Love
    Posts
    5,920
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    The most overbearing boss I had was this autistic guy who needed to micromanage everyone else's work to the minutest detail.

    He had zero understanding of personal boundaries, probably as a result of not grasping how people reacted to him. For instance, he had a habit of pushing people away from their workstations to redo their work when he saw something he didn't like; this would have been less frequent if he wasn't also in the habit of changing the project design on a whim without consulting anyone.

    This one time, he got aggressive because I didn't want to eat some greasy, store-bought pizza. Why did this offend him???

    He is quite possibly definitely the most unprofessional person I have ever met in my entire life. It would be way too soon if we meet again in 500 years.

    He would also come up very close to your face when he talked to you, and he would accidentally spit when he talked.

    He also used the bathroom 2-3 times a day, and it would stink really bad in there for at least 30 minutes afterwards. He ate lots of bad food.

  25. #25
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,252
    Mentioned
    657 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    He would also come very close to your face when he talked to you, and he would accidentally spit when he talked.
    Accidentally? You are very kind.
    Yes, but did he cultivate bad breath, too? I mean, he was leaving some money on the table there.

  26. #26
    xerxe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ministry of Love
    Posts
    5,920
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Accidentally? You are very kind.
    Yes, but did he cultivate bad breath, too? I mean, he was leaving some money on the table there.
    Yeah, he had pretty bad breath.

    For the record, I'm not hating on autistic people. After working with him, I developed an appreciation for how debilitating of a condition it can be.

    I suspect that most of the problem was his inability to interpret basic social rules / other people's perspectives / human body language. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was trying to be helpful but didn't understand how rude and unprofessional he was being.

  27. #27
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    My EII sister finds SEEs overbearing to work with. She says her colleague talks too much and invades her personal space too much to the point that she can't concentrate and work efficiently and feels weak and downgraded by someone who she sees as troubled and in need of professional help. The SEE also sucks up to the boss in the eyes of the EII, which is unethical simply to keep position and power. She was so overwhelmed by her SEE office mate that she had to change her office to be able to feel normal again.
    On the other hand when I have SEEs on my team, even tho they can be distracting with their behaviour at times, I ignore and confront them, which the EII usually doesn't when they see someone needs help. SEEs push me to work more and outside of my usual hours which mixed with their social dominance, in the end keeps both of us happy.
    The thing with SEEs is you need to constantly watch out so they don't cross the red lines around the circle of your comfort. If they get in once, they'll automatically overpower you or even unconsciously use you thinking you're comfortable with being used so why not..Se stuff

    P.s. the SEE my sister knew sounded problematic and not all SEEs are like this, but it definitely tells something about the relationship dynamic I think. Also the Oldham closest personality disorder to SEE is borderline disorder and this SEE seemed to fit in that category
    Zero, you were here posting again and I missed you <3. Thank you for sharing your valuable insights.

    Indeed, I have noticed the part in bold with a SEE i work with, whom I had initially miss-typed as LIE back when I didn't know her well. She has now crossed over in my comfort zone several times and I am wondering what strategy I should use to keep her off my back.

    Do you have any suggestions?

    She is really hard to control, for lack of a better way of putting it. I am not the only person she has stepped on the toes of so far, she does this similar thing with a SLE and an ILE at work too, yet i experience this worse than them as I understand it. I have tried several Fi distancing tactics, but I am pondering a long term strategy because this is a day in day out sort of thing. Anytime I feel like the distance between us is 'correct' and per my wishes, she oversteps the boundaries again.

    Feedback is welcome. As always, i enjoy reading your posts.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  28. #28
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    483 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    EP types in general are good at finding the strangest nooks and cranies of reality to come at a situation from. Like I've seen them constantly do stuff to get their way that was totally outrageous and yet worked for whatever reason and they managed to skate by. I used to work with a SEE and it was like I'd show up to work and while he wasn't even a boss, just a regular Joe, he would always have got there first and started in on some scheme, like "oh we sent so and so home so you're doing x today" its like huh?, ok, whatever. Or I had a xEE in law school read from the book verbatim, at length, in a monotone, when asked to answer a question that should have been delivered extemporaneously; it was so incredibly gauche and made everyone feel super uncomfortable and felt like it went on for an eternity, but she had correctly identified the professor as too surprised and too weak willed to call her out on it so instead the prof simply tried to pretend it wasn't happening and move on, etc. Its like in these situations they bring an element of surreality, but its actually reality if you think about it, its just totally off the rails of rational expectation. in the same way ESE is like slamming Fe into every pore of your being, while in their presence, it feels like EP have a way of maximally shoving the unexpected or some other form of sideways leverage into a situation. its a very distinct sense once you come to identify it, its funny because it comes across as lacking a sense of self awareness as to how they're effecting people internally, but it is often very effective at creating the outer result. the problem is they tend to face downrange collateral damage like developing a reputation they're not in full control of, or other unintended consequences that develop from a pattern of this kind of behavior, which can in turn escalate the extreme tactical maneuvers they need to pull off in the moment to keep things going the way they want, which can ultimately lead to them getting the exact opposite of what they really want for everyone, which kind of sucks, but at the same time, almost everything they achieved was at someone's expense, which is why (in the case of SEE) they need ILI to equilibrate this process through warnings and foresight

  29. #29
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    131
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    EP types in general are good at finding the strangest nooks and cranies of reality to come at a situation from. Like I've seen them constantly do stuff to get their way that was totally outrageous and yet worked for whatever reason and they managed to skate by. I used to work with a SEE and it was like I'd show up to work and while he wasn't even a boss, just a regular Joe, he would always have got there first and started in on some scheme, like "oh we sent so and so home so you're doing x today" its like huh?, ok, whatever. Or I had a xEE in law school read from the book verbatim, at length, in a monotone, when asked to answer a question that should have been delivered extemporaneously; it was so incredibly gauche and made everyone feel super uncomfortable and felt like it went on for an eternity, but she had correctly identified the professor as too surprised and too weak willed to call her out on it so instead the prof simply tried to pretend it wasn't happening and move on, etc. Its like in these situations they bring an element of surreality, but its actually reality if you think about it, its just totally off the rails of rational expectation. in the same way ESE is like slamming Fe into every pore of your being, while in their presence, it feels like EP have a way of maximally shoving the unexpected or some other form of sideways leverage into a situation. its a very distinct sense once you come to identify it, its funny because it comes across as lacking a sense of self awareness as to how they're effecting people internally, but it is often very effective at creating the outer result. the problem is they tend to face downrange collateral damage like developing a reputation they're not in full control of, or other unintended consequences that develop from a pattern of this kind of behavior, which can in turn escalate the extreme tactical maneuvers they need to pull off in the moment to keep things going the way they want, which can ultimately lead to them getting the exact opposite of what they really want for everyone, which kind of sucks, but at the same time, almost everything they achieved was at someone's expense, which is why (in the case of SEE) they need ILI to equilibrate this process through warnings and foresight

  30. #30
    Bastard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    42
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    Or I had a xEE in law school read from the book verbatim, at length, in a monotone, when asked to answer a question that should have been delivered extemporaneously; it was so incredibly gauche and made everyone feel super uncomfortable and felt like it went on for an eternity
    This person had weak ethics. Not an xEE.

  31. #31
    Zero's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    My room
    TIM
    LIE
    Posts
    626
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    oh very sorry that i was gone again after this comment. I missed you too <3

    you self type as EII now?
    that's new
    about this SEE you mentioned, the part in my former comment which you have made bold and makes sense, i must say it also makes sense in the case of EIEs.
    have you considered that she might be EIE?
    today at university CompSci was playing basketball against agriculture
    it was a very weird atmosphere in general which is typical of a middle eastern university
    if it were me i would play for the fun of it but fight with teeth and blood to win the game as well
    but the atmosphere there is very competitive, like the players want to chop eachothers heads off.
    it was more of an experimental thing for me really
    so i went, with this EIE, IEI,IEE,EII and suddently out of nowhere the EIE declared herself captain of the team and didn't let me and the EII play, replaced us by some others and they lost the game
    but since last week she has been trying to make me work and practice like hell, today she has decided "you are too rebellious you don't listen to what i say, i am the captain"
    so she's a shithead, also islamic religious, wears Burqa etc and hates my political views
    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    Zero, you were here posting again and I missed you <3. Thank you for sharing your valuable insights.

    Indeed, I have noticed the part in bold with a SEE i work with, whom I had initially miss-typed as LIE back when I didn't know her well. She has now crossed over in my comfort zone several times and I am wondering what strategy I should use to keep her off my back.

    Do you have any suggestions?

    She is really hard to control, for lack of a better way of putting it. I am not the only person she has stepped on the toes of so far, she does this similar thing with a SLE and an ILE at work too, yet i experience this worse than them as I understand it. I have tried several Fi distancing tactics, but I am pondering a long term strategy because this is a day in day out sort of thing. Anytime I feel like the distance between us is 'correct' and per my wishes, she oversteps the boundaries again.

    Feedback is welcome. As always, i enjoy reading your posts.

  32. #32
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    oh very sorry that i was gone again after this comment. I missed you too <3

    you self type as EII now?
    that's new
    about this SEE you mentioned, the part in my former comment which you have made bold and makes sense, i must say it also makes sense in the case of EIEs.
    have you considered that she might be EIE?
    today at university CompSci was playing basketball against agriculture
    it was a very weird atmosphere in general which is typical of a middle eastern university
    if it were me i would play for the fun of it but fight with teeth and blood to win the game as well
    but the atmosphere there is very competitive, like the players want to chop eachothers heads off.
    it was more of an experimental thing for me really
    so i went, with this EIE, IEI,IEE,EII and suddently out of nowhere the EIE declared herself captain of the team and didn't let me and the EII play, replaced us by some others and they lost the game
    but since last week she has been trying to make me work and practice like hell, today she has decided "you are too rebellious you don't listen to what i say, i am the captain"
    so she's a shithead, also islamic religious, wears Burqa etc and hates my political views
    So good to see you back.

    Indeed, EIE is the alternative for the person i had in mind when starting this thread - thanks for mentioning it. And I hope you will be able to play with your team.

    As for EII, it seemed like a compromise between ESI, EII and IEE. But I'm always open to you making type suggestions though, or even random commentary by you is welcome.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  33. #33

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    10,099
    Mentioned
    910 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    depends on IR, evidently
    Ne types will hold this the worst. alphas will perceive this worse than other types, as those get a profit from supplement or good cooperation what reduces the perception of negative from Se

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    As for EII, it seemed like a compromise between ESI, EII and IEE
    The main problem is that you are too unreasonable and rude for Fi type, having Fe one. Besides to look a compromise between revisor types is just funny, but the situation is possible from "not goofy" SEIs.
    Sometimes you try to play Fi type surfacely but ruin this where a situation goes aside from the books' descriptions or when you have lesser of self control. It's clearly noticable for me, that you often behave differently than @aster, for example.
    Last edited by Sol; 11-15-2018 at 01:26 AM.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  34. #34
    Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII-Ne
    Posts
    1,403
    Mentioned
    81 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    depends on IR, evidently
    Ne types will hold this the worst. alphas will perceive this worse than other types, as those get a profit from supplement or good cooperation what reduces the perception of negative from Se



    The main problem is that you are too unreasonable and rude for Fi type, having Fe one. Besides to look a compromise between revisor types is just funny, but the situation is possible from "not goofy" SEIs.
    Sometimes you try to play Fi type surfacely but ruin this where a situation goes aside from the books' descriptions or when you have lesser of self control. It's clearly noticable for me, that you often behave differently than @aster, for example.
    Yes, dear, and for u the world is still flat. Why don't u busy urself somewhere else eradicating heresies?
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  35. #35

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    10,099
    Mentioned
    910 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Delilah
    In case you want to understand what Fi types are - look at how @aster (ESI) talks, behaves, talk with her. Look at my base Fi types examples of bloggers, you may talk with some of them also. Being more possibly S type - the examples would help you a lot.
    Then with the correct understanding of own type you'll get a new level of typology understanding. If you have the interest to the typology, but not only to flood about it and to play in it.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  36. #36
    a two horned unicorn renegade Troll Nr 007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Logical supermacy torturing So(u)ls
    TIM
    Ne-ILE-C 7 ELFV?
    Posts
    4,260
    Mentioned
    181 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Sometimes good sometimes bad. It is like super ego works if the other person is wiling to contribute otherwise it is crap.

    When bad it might end up being shouting match but if good things get done maybe little bit sloppily but fast.
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
    I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

  37. #37

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,601
    Mentioned
    260 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Delilah

    I don't know but I'll tell you my exp. with a SEE today. She was a very attractive female SEE at the grocery store. She was very socially skilled and chatty with me, and had good empathy... it's hard to dislike a semi-dual. And she gave the impression she didn't want to have all the power, that she wanted me to impart my will on her somewhat. I ended up not wanting to buy something because it was too expensive, and my Te polr thought I could afford it when I couldn't- and I spoke up and said 'uh I changed my mind I don't want this' then she said 'oh no I totally understand!, I'd do the same thing. <3' and she really did understand and was SUPER nice about it, and put me in a good mood- but I still always sensed with Ni that deep down beyond that she really wanted me to value Te instead of it be my polr, but she knew how awkward it would be to just bluntly state it the way a disgruntled and pissed off ILI would. I was relieved that she was compassionate about it, and she always secretly seemed to enjoy what I was about to say next. (and vice-versa) Semi-dual can be sweet like that.

    In this way they really help their duals learn the power of social niceties and how important they are even if on a deeper level people can still sense that you are also valuing something else. That Fe isn't 'fake' they just need help demonstrating it to them (ILI) It was like her wanting me to be more Te could still co-exist peacefully with her not wanting to be a dick about it, like the more shadow side of our interaction need not always be 'the peanut butter in the sandwich' that their duals would make it out to be too much. Her and another SLE put me in a better mood for awhile after some passive aggressive EIIs and SLIs annoyed me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •