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At least one of my exes seems to be a SEI. He did not seem to like my being an emotivist. I am playful. A lot of LIE are, probably especially the Ni subtypes and the enneagram 7s and 6s and maybe the 3s. I've found I enjoy boosting the mood and being chipper with people I feel I can be. I do use a smidge of childlike in my interactions, but I also have a HEAPING amount of seriousness compared with Alphas.
ILE are constructivists; LIE are emotivists:
Tend to minimize the emotional elements of interaction, preferring to focus on the 'business' elements.
Have emotional 'anchors' (eg, books, films, places) which they use to support their internal emotional state.
Can become 'emotionally hooked', and can have a strong reaction to a particular part or section regardless of their feelings towards the entirety.
Have greater difficulty disassociating from others' emotions and experiences than from requests for action or consideration.
“I prefer when people offer concrete solutions instead of comfort or sympathy.”
Tend to concentrate foremost on the emotional background of interaction, with 'business' a secondary concern.
Prefer the new and novel over the old and known.
Information perceived as unprofessional or low-quality can leave them indifferent.
Have greater difficulty disassociating from requests for action or consideration than from others' emotions and experiences.
“If a conversation is emotionally negative, I consider it wasted.”
It's one of the most notable differences between my ILI best friend and myself. We're both serious gamma NTs, but..
tangents: OOOH...also my LSI buds and I are def on that same wavelength, and I can sense it in my IEI bestie.
I think of a lot of that stuff functionally. Yes, I might not have my hair mermaid plaited and my face contoured, but I have short shorts on under my sparkly cocktail dress (easier to dance dramatically and however I want to when the mood hits me) and a friendly straightforwardness, and I end up dancing with more people than they do in the club, so...I'm not getting held back by not conforming.
I have interacted with LIE romantically for a short period of time. We both have sort of a don't give a fuck attitude and mess around a lot. But we had nothing in common except maybe a love for money, our cats, and sexual compatibleness. It was like we were sort of using each other for a thrill, and then it quickly ended. This was a very informal interaction with LIE though being just friendly.
I don't think that all SEIs and LIEs necessarily conflict. I'm LIE-Te and I worked with an SEI-Si and she hated the space I occupied, but I get along very well with an SEI-Fe.
I was wandering through YouTube's Suggestion Algorithm and I came across this clip:
I don't watch movies or television or cable and so I've never seen these characters before, but I'd bet money that Flash is played by an LIE-Te and Supergirl is played by an SEI-Fe because, by god, this is exactly, down to tiny details, how my interaction with the SEI-Fe goes. Even the mutual admiration while knowing that we aren't meant for each other.
I really do respect LIE's. I am often really amazed of what they can do and accomplish. They are my blind spots that I will never see coming and will K.O in a Te and Ni battle. I just know I will never be able to understand or truly provide what they need at a deep core. The best I can do is just cover their blind spots (or Polr) when the time comes. It's kinda like a swimmer respecting a football player in a way. Both are athletes and understand the skill, time, and effort both need to master their craft. A swimmer will never be a good footballer player and vice versa. They need different things and different training. However, both can help with different aspects of nutrition and possibly improving different muscle groups based on personal expertise. Both can also cheer each other on for their own trophy.
I would say my brother can be mean to my mom, although he has recently softened
as a kid he could be mean to me too, trying to physically hurt me and when he got emotional it sounded really bad, he would scream at the door and I was scared/upset so I would try to hide in my room or bathroom
he doesn’t remember any of this. He used to claim no one “loved him” and although I have avoidant style attachment with my family, the rest of my family is normally attached. Anyways, he still turned out securely attached
anyways I’m scared of him attacking my se PoLR, which I’m sure is exactly what he would have done had I asked him to be kinder to her (because she ignores his logic and that really puts him on edge)
I’m watching Mad Men and there’s a funny interaction between an LIE and SEI.
They’re at a funeral and there’s a pretty lady..
LIE Harry: “God she is all kinds of trouble isn’t she.”
SEI Pete: ‘Everything turns you on, doesn’t it’ pulling a face..(I find this funny coming from an SEI lol)
LSI in the background to Pete: ‘is your mother still alive’..
I'm pretty sure, based on the way she was looking at me when I left, that she didn't like me but didn't know why.
@Adam Strange yeah they have their quirks- some are very odd and often they're my favourites . I was at my ILE friend's gig recently and I was feeling a bit low on energy so I wasn't talking to people. I watched his SEI gf move around and say quick a hello to everyone, not wanting to get stuck with anyone for too long unless she 100% felt comfortable. Later on, she spoke to me for ages which was really nice, and it was the first time I felt like she actually liked me. It turns out I can be really quiet, and they actually quite like that lol. My other SEI friend is E5 and she's really smart..but she misunderstands me more than I misunderstand her. We have good conversations about people and why they are the way they are. She has a better general understanding of what motivates people than me. But she's never really understood me, probably because I hid a lot from her, but also because she can't seem to analyse me in the moment very well. It's nice I can be more open with her now.
I remember talking to my male SEI colleague about our LIE colleague who I couldn't figure out. He would say 'she's just a nerd, she just wants to be nerdy and talk about everything lol'. Maybe he understands her better than he understands me. I'll never understand why this person (the SEI) just didn't say 'sorry' after leading me on and then also making a complaint about me at work. I guess it grew into something too huge and overwhelming.. even if he feels sorrow he couldn't see that I was feeling it so much more. But yeah we had a lot of misunderstandings..that spiralled and spiralled. I'd go home thinking 'how can I set things right'..but it should have been him doing that lol. Sometimes the misunderstandings were so slight.. so I think it was easy to slip into more and more..
atm my SEI friend seems annoyed with me. She occasionally mentions our mutual friend (well I don’t see the person anymore but she does). Recently that person messaged me and really annoyed me. Now when my friend mentions her I’m not so interested to hear about her. I also wonder if the SEI said something to the friend to make them reach out to me..
When I didn’t respond enthusiastically to her news about the friend she started randomly going on about how the friend is going through a hard time as their dad is ill, as if to say to me..be more interested in her, she deserves it. lol why I haven’t seen the person properly in about 7 years. I also think the SEI would like us all to hang out together, as that would be nice for her lol. But instead of just saying it, she’s projecting on to me that there is some reason that we all can’t hang out. Yes, there’s a reason, coz the friend is an asshole (?) lol. But the SEI wouldn’t think that I would think that..but if I did she’d be annoyed? It’s lucky I’ve known her a while and I can brush her off very easily and steer the convo in a better direction.
Last edited by Bethany; 06-30-2022 at 02:44 PM.
I agree. LIEs will prefer to know the exact parameters of a situation or task in order to cut down on the unnecessary and extraneous distractions. We can only keep up the dreamy and leisurely pace for so long, before we succumb to our frustration at the sunny, relaxed and calm pace of the SEI. That is why we can sometimes come across as assholes…because people don’t realize we have been compromising our true nature in order to tolerate the relaxed pace, unnecessary (in OUR opinion) niceties and overall inefficiency. Obviously the reason we hold disdain towards those things is because when we try to please at things we suck at, we just feel like a fraud. In these situations then, the SEI comes out ahead, their calm superiority intact and thinking “Geez what’s THEIR problem… so uptight poor thing.” Basically the LIE sees the SEI as dopey, and the SEI sees the LIE as needing anger management therapy. 😁