Yet another questionnaire
Tell me about yourself
19, female, Italy
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I'm a chemistry student. I've had a weird time in high school before finding what I really liked. I had originally enrolled to a school focused on learning and translating latin, greek, french, and literatures. I liked translating and studying linguistics as much as I hated literature. It seemed to make no sense at all. On the top of that, my class was mostly formed by girls, and the vibe was just too emotionally tense for me.
So I dropped out a year before my diploma and enrolled to another school, where I had the chance to study chemistry, biology, maths and physics. After a while, a few failed tests and a lot of studying I was perfectly integrated with the new subjects, sometimes challenging the best students in my class. Overall, I loved physics and chemistry the most, because they came weirdly natural to me. I loved the buzz they gave when everything was working inside of my head. People in my class were terribly harsher than my previous ones.
After that, I wanted to keep on studying chemistry and physics. So I chose the first one, the subject I resonated the most with and which came easier to me.
I still don't regret that.
What are your values, and why?
Knowledge and intelligence - I'm terribly annoyed when people don't seem able to reason and when myself can't do that.
Kindness - I'm not able to properly deal with harshness or aggressiveness. I irrationally take it personally and retreat instantly.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I have the autistic habit of spending hours every day walking in circles and thinking. I lose a lot of time like that. Apart from that, I used to study a lot of things by myself when my energy levels were higher and I didn't suffer from insomnia (russian, coding, I had started studying greek in middle school, astronomy, dog training, etc), now I feel like I'm just studying or losing my time doing nothing useful, just playing videogames, surfing the internet or watching films.
I did them because I simply liked learning new things without the rush of an impending test.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Disclaimer: I'm a difficult person to be friends with. Before finding my boyfriend, an ENTp-Ti, I used to go out and meet my friends every two months or more. I just felt disconnected from reality every time we hung out. I often don't feel like talking and ignore people, or I prefer to had superficial friendships only based on sharing jokes.
I look for kind people who don't trigger my anxiety and are able to establish a calm, peaceful environment, 'cause I'm not able to do that by myself.
I don't really have something I look for in romantic relationship. Because of that, I think that "if your stomach feels weird, that's the proof that you're producing dopamine and that you like them".
As I said, I like people able to make me feel at peace and reassure myself (I need that a lot, because I keep on questioning the relationship and doubting). I like when they're able to stand a decent conversation without appearing imposing or dominant.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
There's this classmate, I think definitely Fi-creative, who keeps on saying that "I'm of an unique coldness" and I'm weird because of that. It's not the first time I've been told that.
I keep on clashing with SEE girls because, ffs, aggressiveness irritates me a lot. This usually ends up in catfights and discussions I'm too lazy or feared to stand. There have been a few guys who have mocked how much my movements are uncoordinated.
I usually tend to avoid conflict unless I feel like people are saying bullshits or using emotional arguments to defend their points. In this case, I fire up to stand for what I think is correct. If both sides are speaking logically, instead, I can end up standing for both sides and acting as a peacemaker. I just want correctness in thought.
I also used to instantly categorize a lot of people as "stupid", but, luckily, I've gotten over it and matured enough to stop it.
How would your friends describe you?
Avoidant yet clingy, anxious, emotional (I'm not able to find balance between too much and too less), soft.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I've been criticized for being either too cold or too emotional, scatterbrained, disorganized, undutiful (fun thing is that I myself try to be dutyful, and I criticize others when they aren't). I've been said that I'm stubborn and not willing to do what other people ask me to, this is especially because I dislike being given orders. I prefer not to bother others and, this way, not be bothered.
My big weakness is not being good at socializing. I find it hard to understand people and find words. I appreciate it when people to this for me.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I'm almost decent with money. I can come to the end of the month almost undamaged for what concerns money.
I'm not good at managing my time, but I hate when people intrude and try to organize it for me.
I'm a decent mediator, as I'm able not to get emotionally involved and bounce back and forth different points of view. I think I'm a good problem solver, as I can think of every way something could go wrong and prevent them in time, and bounce around the problem until I find a weak spot.
What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
Studying for tests, especially if I don't love them. I found it really hard to end high school because of literature, I just couldn't put myself to study it.
I like studying, but only if I can choose the subject and don't have a deadline.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
Moving to my boyfriend's city, more than 300 miles from here, and starting a life without the toxic environment of my family. I just want peace of mind.
Getting my Ph.D and close myself in a laboratory doing what I truly like, chemistry.
And this is awkward to admit for me since I used to dislike the idea of family, but settling in with that guy and starting over as a two, since we both come from difficult family stories and want to cut from the past.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
I'd study what I like by myself, probably decide to run a laboratory and do research anyways. I don't look for particular comfort in my life, the sufficient to live is enough.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I don't mind awkwardness at all, even if it seems like people do. Sometimes I liked when people were pretentious with their knowledge when others didn't.
I absolutely hate it when people are too dominant or harsh.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I don't do anything to beautify my environment, I find it useless. The important thing is that everything works, period. I'd happily live in a spartan environment.
I tend to pile up my chores until I can't procrastinate them anymore, then do them all at once.
How do you behave around strangers?
I'm extremely formal, I don't know when it's the right time to appear friendly.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I usually back up, especially if there's a lot of people. I hate it, and tend to take it personally. As I said, I react only if I feel like the point the other person is making is particularly irrational and I know I can handle dismantle it.
What did you do last Friday?
I hung out with my boyfriend. Since he lives 6 hours far from here, we rarely see each other. This way I don't get too tired by the interaction and, by contrary, I wish more.
Since we can't stay at my home because of my family, even if we'd prefer it instead of going out, we took a blanket and cuddled by the lake.
The other weekends I just stay at home playing videogames and watching tv series.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Changing school a year before my diploma without failing the year, which my professors told would have naturally happened.
What is something you regret?
Using my time so badly that I can't study other things apart from what I need in uni.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
I suffer from social anxiety, so my paranoias are focused on that. Random problems with the strict and ethically demanding environment I've been raised in.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I'm an atheist. I think that the concept of god has been created by us. How every people changed divinities is the proof for that, especially that christianity has no right in saying that it's the correct religion.
I plan on being debaptized, it makes no sense keeping it if I never believed in god.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
I'm not really interested in politics, but in Italy right-wing parties tend to catalyze hatred against certain scapegoats just to gain consensus. The left wing seems more reasonable, gives decent social and economical solutions without resorting to what is tradionally accepted just because "it's always been like that".
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
I'm the lone wolf who wants to work by herself without ordering or being ordered around. So I guess I'd like to be in a small research team, better if I can work by myself. I wouldn't like being on the top of everyone doing contability.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
A calm yet unemotional environment, not too competitive.
I just look for something mentally stimulating which allows me to pursue what I like. I'm not a demanding person.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
Chemistry, of course. It always came extremely natural and easy to me because everything is linked to the rest and makes sense.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
I think I'm decently responsible, and I expect others to do the sufficient.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
A year ago with my family, to the mountain. I hate the idea of moving out and staying in a place doing nothing meaningful just to stay with others.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
I was a little Hermione Granger, reading and learning as much as I could and scolding others for not doing so.
I hope I became softer, I know how socially unacceptable this is.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
I don't think I'm able to choose one. They all seem particularly irrelevant to me. It's always like that when people ask me to choose something from a general pool of things.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I don't like them and I don't see the point in having them. I don't have any maternal instinct. I don't see the point in perpetrating the species when there's already enough people on Earth. Maybe I could be a teacher, I like explaining, but nothing more.
There's some material on this thread, even if I deleted my photos.
Edit: reuploaded some in the next post
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by User Name
-PoLR. I'm rather sensitive to the environment I'm in, being 
. Meaning that I'm not collecting sensation data in front of me. 
This has generated it's own set of spastic social ineptitudes.
and to a lesser extend of 
.
as one of my ego functions.
