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Thread: how emotional do you feel you are compared to other people?

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    Default how emotional do you feel you are compared to other people?

    i'm feeling like about a 2 on a scale of 1-10. it's probably a defense against having to feel the low level stew of despair, regret, self-loathing, anxiety, and general malaise that's always there to bubble up punctuated by brief respites of amusement or nostalgia.


    ugh. kinda a bummer way to start the thread but i'll go ahead and hit submit instead of deleting it.

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    While I like to think of myself as a fairly emotional person (because I know what goes on inside my head) I have a very cold and detached demeanor. Truth is whatever I'm feeling is eating me from the inside whether good or bad, and the more intense it is the more terrified I am of expressing it (rejection or ridicule being expected) so I come off as pretty robotic, and people treat me as such lmao, so I suppose I'm not that emotional...
    Even if I have strong feelings chances are they will paralyze me but I won't act on them, at least not constructively; they're not my priority when making decisions.
    Meh...I'd say a 4 on a scale from 1-10
    Last edited by NdFeB08; 12-03-2017 at 04:35 AM. Reason: Typo

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    Quote Originally Posted by NdFeB08 View Post
    While I like to think of myself as a fairly emotional person (because I know what goes on inside my head)
    And you seem emotional, in the degree of thinkless.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Really depends on context. is malleable For this forum I snatch a solid 11/10 though.


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    Quote Originally Posted by bgdjf View Post
    i'm feeling like about a 2 on a scale of 1-10. it's probably a defense against having to feel the low level stew of despair, regret, self-loathing, anxiety, and general malaise that's always there to bubble up punctuated by brief respites of amusement or nostalgia.


    ugh. kinda a bummer way to start the thread but i'll go ahead and hit submit instead of deleting it.
    Hello young man,

    I am reading your question - and I hope correctly, not in terms of 'Fe' and 'Fi', but in terms of how we feel?

    If I'm correct, then great. ..... I don't know how I 'feel' in terms of emotional expressiveness or relational distance as such (which is Fe and Fi), but how I feel mostly is a sense of happiness and peace. There's more to feeling than socionics covers. There's the humanness in us all.

    I don't think being an 'F' type affects how we feel, maybe I'm wrong, as any type can be angry, sad, or regret and such as you mention.

    I'd rate myself as feeling happier and more content than most.

    This comes in part from choosing my own priorities, and, as a really great friend of mine told me, we're largely responsible for how we feel, in that, we can chose how we feel, so I chose to feel happy, among some other things.

    It works I think.

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    Compared to others, i'm not less emotional - I can get to an 8 on a scale of 1-10. I bottle up during negative episodes by keeping everything to myself and being cynical lol, there is a little bit of emotional suppression day-to-day, but not much. Use to be able to work myself to a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Huge crying fits alone in the shower.

    As the years have past, I am able to identify less with my negative emotions, to see them as passing states like grey clouds on top of a normal clear mental state. I used to really feel the harshness of it.

    Memories are actually re-created in the present moment, helpful to remember that. When I do feel bad the brain will amplify negative thought patterns and painful memories. It's as if it's possessed by something that perpetuates itself in me feeling bad - so the brain digs up the most shame-worthy and painful thoughts in order to give life to those feelings.
    Last edited by Glare; 04-05-2018 at 10:36 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarper View Post
    Hello young man,
    i'm 44

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    Quote Originally Posted by bgdjf View Post
    i'm 44
    We're all young compared to someone

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    and yeah, i didn't mean this with any socionics context although feel free to take it there if you want.

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    Someone has said that might sound bit ecstatic.

    That happens on occasion.

    Most of the time I'm just crunching my thoughts although they taste better when you add some spice.
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    i do wonder at the internal subjective experience comparisons, but at least outwardly as an illustrative anecdote i have stuck in my mind, a few years ago at a family holiday gtg while watching tv with my brothers one of my older brothers made a little aside joke by explaining to me while watching something on tv, "See, this is the part where people who experience emotions would be feeling something." to which i replied "fuck you, i feel things!"

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    ehhhh i was in a down mood last night when i started this thread, i might bump myself up to a 3 or 4. i notice though that i do automatically pull back or try to escape from most emotions when they come up.

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    Hmm. Can anybody answer this question?
    You can witness how much emotion other people express, but not how much emotion another person feel.

    You need to compare how much you feel to any other person. And when you don't know how much other people feel how can you tell if you feel more or less then other people?

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    Quote Originally Posted by WinnieW View Post
    Hmm. Can anybody answer this question?
    You can witness how much emotion other people express, but not how much emotion another person feel.

    You need to compare how much you feel to any other person. And when you don't know how much other people feel how can you tell if you feel more or less then other people?
    Empathy, which is not necessarily socionics related.

    Some of it is guess work, some of it is hunches. You can usually tell if someones being quiet you sense there might be something up, it's up to them if they share if you ask them how they're doing.

    So it depends on what you class as expressing, could you not tell if someone you knew appeared to be pre-occupied? So it's not a burst of crying or laughing, but it's something.

    Sometimes it's just missed by me, but on socionics, I've had an F type tell me they really can sense how someone is .. so maybe the sensing of the emotions is F related, but not so sure if caring has to be.

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    it can be a miserable combination being empathic along with emotionally repressed. especially with those I feel close with, i fall into this awkward feeling of wanting to express sympathy towards them while drowning in my own tendency to repress the emotions elicited by their emotional expression (even if drawn from subtle cues like Scarper brings up). or feeling like a jealous narcissistic piece of shit having to swallow the spark of bitterness elicited by their obvious (or assumed) joy in strong positive emotions like love or happiness with others who they're sharing the experience with (and not wanting to put a wet blanket over their enjoyment of it).

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    Quote Originally Posted by bgdjf View Post
    it can be a miserable combination being empathic along with emotionally repressed. especially with those I feel close with, i fall into this awkward feeling of wanting to express sympathy towards them while fighting my own tendency to repress the emotions elicited by their emotional expression (even if drawn from subtle cues like Scarper brings up). or feeling like an alien piece of shit jealous narcissist having to swallow the spark of bitterness elicited by their obvious (or assumed) joy in strong positive emotions like love or happiness with others who they're sharing the experience with (and not wanting to put a wet blanket over their enjoyment of it).
    I'm maybe out my depth then, I'm not sure I can have answers for this.

    I don't know if expressing sympathy is something i'll do at least at first, it's tiring thing to do and a level of emotional involvement is taxing on both sides. I will express my gratitude, even at simple things (but how many people do complex things each day),

    Like for instance, today I was at a German bratwurst stand at the Christmas fair, I ordered some fries, then while that was paid for and about served, I then ordered a burger. The woman serving me went to give me my burger, then asked me if I wanted it wrapped. I said yes please (it would be good for me to help me eat the fries, as the burger could fall), when she gave me my wrapped burger I said to her, 'thank you so much for being kind to me.', and I meant it. She seemed genuinely pleased.

    So I don't know if that's expressing sympathy, well it's not, but I was expressing gratitude at genuine kindness.

    For the needing of sympathy, support groups can be good for that - or a special one in a million friend - I'm not saying you need one, or please not to take offense, I'm just guessing from your OP to this one, there's stuff going on that you might need to work through, but what do I know, if I can help I can, or you just posting and doing stuff might be help enough.

    Sorry if any of this was clumsy to you, it wasn't my intent

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    I'm "emotional" in the sense of being significantly neurotic, but also in the sense of being somewhat sentimental. However, I have often been considered rather cold and distant as well as being overzealous in being consistent. I can often be passive or reactive rather than active (i.e. very much being "wait and see"). I think to a certain extent that I have been in a prolonged "off" mode where I am wary of letting myself show my emotions in any strong flavour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarper View Post
    I'm maybe out my depth then, I'm not sure I can have answers for this.

    ~snip~

    For the needing of sympathy, support groups can be good for that - or a special one in a million friend - I'm not saying you need one, or please not to take offense, I'm just guessing from your OP to this one, there's stuff going on that you might need to work through, but what do I know, if I can help I can, or you just posting and doing stuff might be help enough.

    Sorry if any of this was clumsy to you, it wasn't my intent
    it's all good I made this thread as a way to express how i was feeling/thinking last night while taking a walk while also making a topic out of it so it wouldn't be all "HELP, I FEEL LOW-KEY LIKE SHIT!!! CONSOLE ME!". It's been a good side discussion so far. (and yeah, i'm kinda a mess. this is me talking it out )

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    Quote Originally Posted by bgdjf View Post
    it's all good I made this thread as a way to express how i was feeling/thinking last night while taking a walk while also making a topic out of it so it wouldn't be all "HELP, I FEEL LOW-KEY LIKE SHIT!!! CONSOLE ME!". It's been a good side discussion so far. (and yeah, i'm kinda a mess. this is me talking it out )
    I did well for only half a game,

    http://www.pacxon4u.com/space-invaders/

    I think the tune was putting me off

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarper View Post
    I did well for only half a game,

    http://www.pacxon4u.com/space-invaders/

    I think the tune was putting me off
    i only had the patience for one life, 8,250.

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    7/10.

    I can be a somewhat loud and excessively energetic, a couple of times quick tempered. However, I can also be quite aloof when i'm not interested in the conversation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarper View Post
    Empathy, which is not necessarily socionics related.
    Yes, of course. But different people have different levels of empathy. To compare people you need a common reference level, at least if you want to compare people on a number scale basis.

    Or in other words: How do you ensure that "by walking in an other peoples shoes you are using the same shoes"?

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    Quote Originally Posted by WinnieW View Post
    Yes, of course. But different people have different levels of empathy. To compare people you need a common reference level, at least if you want to compare people on a number scale basis.

    Or in other words: How do you ensure that "by walking in an other peoples shoes you are using the same shoes"?
    You're right.

    There's psychologists tests to measure empathy, if you're curious of your own, that would give you an objective reference point, some are online too.

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    Can't tell a specific number on a number scale.
    But I guess my empathy level was higher in the past. I met many emotional manipulative people or people that are exaggerating emotion expressions for effect.
    My empathy level really depends on the person. I'm more empathic towards people that I know better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WinnieW View Post
    Can't tell a specific number on a number scale.
    But I guess my empathy level was higher in the past. I met many emotional manipulative people or people that are exaggerating emotion expressions for effect.
    My empathy level really depends on the person. I'm more empathic towards people that I know better.

    you say that you were more empathic in the past but grew a shell due to being emotionally manipulated and drawn in by exaggeration but it seems to me that that could alternately be seen as your empathic abilities becoming refined and better able to distinguish "genuine" emotions. just something to consider.

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    I think I have average emotions, esp. empathy, but I'm able to completely kill them to achieve whatever objective I need. Fortunately, morals don't just come from feelings of empathy / sympathy and I'm not a huge douchebag.

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    This is hard for me to answer. I'm told that I smile a lot for someone of my type, and I can seem "happy" when I'm socializing but when I was younger I really didn't experience a wide range of emotion. Now I've gotten more "in touch" with my emotions so to speak and go through a lot more internal states than I used to. But it still doesn't (and probably never will) feel natural or sincere for me to effusively express enthusiasm or gratitude, or compliment people or things directly. I'm much more comfortable expressing negative emotion and criticism.

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    I like this question but I'm not really sure. I feel unemotional when I compare myself to the people around me, but I just cried while watching stranger things today. But I usually feel like the volume on my own feelings is kinda turned down to a low hum.

    When I want to, I try to turn into the frequency...like when I went on a day trip with a friend recently I felt like I was inwardly trying to turn the knob to 'excitement' and at a funeral I was trying to turn the knob to 'sadness' and I was successful both times but like these feelings don't flow over me strong and uncontrolled like they seem to with other people. I want to feel them, so I make an effort. And that makes me feel weird and robotic. But I'm not robotic in the sense that I'm aware of the emotional realm and try to behave in a way that takes other peoples' feelings into account.

    And this isn't always true. There are certain things I get emotional about without trying. I think those particular things are laid along certain tracks related to old wounds.

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    I give up on this question... I can't even really wrap my mind around this lol. People have different emotional pallettes and tendencies and everyone feels something. I think I'm a 6 regardless of my some of my antagonistic emotions against other people's emotions, since being guarded against other people's emotions is itself an emotional thing. I think I've always been highly sensitive and reactive at least internally.

    Most of my emotions kinda get eaten by overthinking though.


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    8/10

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    I think I have average emotions, esp. empathy, but I'm able to completely kill them to achieve whatever objective I need. Fortunately, morals don't just come from feelings of empathy / sympathy and I'm not a huge douchebag.
    Yeah it can be similar for me. I´m also not big on empathy in the workplace, especially if/when working with or for a bigger company. I´ve made enemies for this but it´s hard to stray from your natural behavior.
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    If I'm in a movie theater watching something sad I feel I am more emotional than the average person. I'll be the one trying not to let it show while tears run down my face. I'm in general not good at stopping or hiding emotions that come up. If someone else is crying while talking to me, my eyes will probably start tearing up too. I don't know how to stop this, (but it doesn't get in the way of actually thinking about the problem in order to help them solve it.)

    However, when it comes to being easily hurt or finding something someone said offensive, I feel like I'm a lot less emotional than other people. I'm often confused why someone was even bothered by something. I'm not very touchy, and I am not that good at handling people who are.
    Last edited by squark; 12-04-2017 at 03:53 PM.

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    Depends in which context.

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    I'm fairly emotional internally, I have cried from reading fiction before. I rarely express emotion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bgdjf View Post
    you say that you were more empathic in the past but grew a shell due to being emotionally manipulated and drawn in by exaggeration but it seems to me that that could alternately be seen as your empathic abilities becoming refined and better able to distinguish "genuine" emotions. just something to consider.
    I guess I'm hard to get to know and I need quite a long time to gain trust. I'm quite selective in matters of friendship irl.

    I worked in jobs that I liked because of the tasks, not because of the people around me. There were a lot of people who were hardly able to handle the stress.
    I had jobs where I had to surpress the expression of my emotions to avoid conflict.

    I guess I'm more empathic in one-to-one conversations as equals, without the need to respect social hierarchies,.

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    I don't express a lot of it but I am fairly emotional internally, maybe like a 4 of 10. Our society is designed to produce apathy so I think that lowers where the average is.

    I got the "not very emotional" result on that quiz. I think it fits well, from the glance I took at it.
    Last edited by ouronis; 12-04-2017 at 10:46 PM.

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    i got "extremely emotional" on the quiz @reverie posted. i didn't expect that. maybe this is all there is. :/

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    Way less emotional nowadays than when I was a young person.

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    You are very emotional

    You might be full of joie de vivre, despairing, a bag of nerves, deeply in love, in a spin over a small detail, exploding with rage or going pale with disgust, but you are quick to gauge how you feel, and very emotional. And what’s wrong with that? The problem is that you can cope with the things you are used to feeling but when a new emotion comes along it can knock you down. You need confidence, and someone who can reassure you, in order to have the strength to cope with all the emotions that assail you. You often don’t know how to cope with the situations you’re confronted with. You don’t know how to deal with certain sights, sounds or things that are said to you, and this has made you overly sensitive. When you register certain unpleasant emotions that you can’t justify – such as when you encounter an aggressive tone, jealousy from a close family member, or when you’re somewhere that brings back bad memories, you sometimes convert emotions that you can’t handle into imaginary needs. Binge eating, painting yourself as a victim, getting other people to care for you or take charge, can result in some comfort, but real illnesses, such as obesity, asthma and eczema can take the place of difficult emotions that you hadn’t been able to face up to. This is very dangerous. If you’re not careful, you’ll always be impressionable. But as the critic Félix Fénéon said, life is about identifying the things that provide excitement because they’re pleasurable, and knowing how to make them happen, and identifying the things that provide excitement because they’re dangerous, and knowing how to avoid them. You are very emotional but it’s up to you to be as discerning as you are sensitive.
    Hmm.

    That result is rather accurate for the most part.

    But I don't really feel like I am very emotional, or more emotional than other people. But this is when I compare myself to ExFx people, like my overly emotional ESE type 2 mother...

    I know that I can be more sensitive than I realize sometimes or let on – more sensitive than average for sure, but not the most sensitive when I compare myself to other sensitive people...

    I can lack emotional self awareness, to the point I don't even realize something has upset me and that is why I am in a bad mood. And only if someone points out the issue do I notice. Or when I introspect a bit more and ask myself why I am in a bad mood or feeling blue.

    I also have the tendency to "shut down" when I am overwhelmed with negative emotions to the point I end up feeling "numb" and not much at all – sort of undead – and that then gives me the illusion I am not too emotional.

    And yes, the part about needing someone to instill some confidence in me is quite true. Though ofc you should not rely on that... Confidence has to come from within.
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    *********** 21-04-19:
    "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"



  40. #40
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reverie View Post
    I wasn't sure what to put here at first. Automatically when thinking on a scale, I thought perhaps 8/10. I initially compared myself to a few people irl who I think are prone to dramaticism and I think I was confusing that for emotionality. I don't think I'm dramatic in the same way some people are that I know.

    However, on thinking about it, I think I'm probably highly emotional. I asked my hubs on a scale of 1-10 where he would place me and he said, "17, no change that to 22." Most people know I'm kind of oversensitive and touchy. Everyone in my family always talks about how much Icried as a child. I'd cry over about anything.

    Once when I was depressed I went to a park in the summer, and there were people there who looked happy and they made me really angry and I felt like I could never be like them. It made me bitter. There was a cemetery near by, so I walked around it and it made me feel peaceful, so I laid down in the grass and felt the peacefulness of it all. I thought, I suffer now, but there is this.

    So maybe you see what I mean. And I'm kind of morbid.

    I often joke I'm like that 'Leave Britney alone guy.' I did a similar thing in a grocery store because of what the media was doing to Michael Jackson. I actually stood in front of a bunch of magazines, going, 'Poor Michael. This is terrible. How dare they do this to him! This is sickening, disgusting...He's a person.' I could relate to him for some reason. And I started crying. I also got upset about the whole Britney thing as well. lol.

    But I took this test: https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests...l-are-you.html

     
    You are extremely emotional

    You panic if you have to walk through an area you don’t think is safe; you feel euphoric when things go your way, you are floored by grief and ashamed if you make a mistake. You are used to not being able to get your words out or suddenly finding yourself drenched in sweat. When you’re happy your heart beats wildly; love makes you feel like you could fly, and anger can make you explode. Extreme behaviour is your way of expressing yourself. Your are hypersensitive, perhaps because you have suffered psychological trauma that has left you vulnerable to the slightest jolt. Violence, uneasiness or shrieks can be expected from you when emotion takes you over – you feel it like an attack on your person. This self-protective mechanism is dictated by your personal history and the experiences you’ve had in the past. If you look closely at your emotions and examine how they work you might understand why you find some of them so difficult to cope with and it might be easier to live with them – except for terror, disgust and humiliation, which you’re sure aren’t indispensable. Analyse them to dilute their power over you and you will avoid submitting to their physical manifestations, fend off periods of depression and reduce the number of situations that you find stressful. In Correspondence, Voltaire tells us that our only duty in life is to try to be happy. And while it’s true that emotional unrest and turmoil can extinguish a spark in someone, they can also create tortured genius. It’s up to you to choose – and know how to contain your emotions.
    I took the quiz but some of questions were hard to answer since none would fit my response so I went with the closest. I am internally emotional, a seething cauldron sometimes but it is usually directly related to my romantic relationships. On the outside I prefer not to let people know they got to me and I may seem more cold and calculating when I am angry. Like people back away slowly if I have a certain look on my face. I have to contain some of my emotions because it never leads to any good. Sometimes I can't. The partner coming home late question and not saying anything by 8 pm the next day would absolutely not fly. I would need to know what happened the moment they walked in the door. No one would sleep again until it was resolved.

    If someone manages to get under my skin I will just cast a spell on them being careful not to fuck my karma in the process. "Return to sender" or "mirror" spells are ideal in such cases. They may, or may not, work but I feel better and can laugh after. It is something I learned with maturity. A way to channel anger mostly. I have seen the results of them and I am impressed at times. I think insinuating I have cast a spell is enough to terrify some people. I may kind of look like the type who is experienced with the dark and light arts, not so much in style or image, but in energy. It is a link to ancient magic from my ancestors. I only focus on the higher good of all though. I do not want to intentionally harm others even in my worst fantasies I have something that keeps me in check. What I send out will come back to me. I am also a hummingbird so...



    I am sort of kidding...but perhaps not much...

    I have a dark, morbid sense of humor but that was cultivated. I am also very optimistic but not effusive and positive all the time. I have my moments. I prefer to keep things positive as I know it affects people around me too. I am probably often influenced by other people's emotions as they are by mine Maybe even more.

    I don't remember the last time I was effusive over anything. I am kind of controlled with my reactions for maximum impact. I think I feel everything sometimes to the point of shut down which leads to apathy. Sometimes apathy feels like my natural state but then it passes and I know it isn't. Then I might want to spread joy. I am not sure how emotional I am in comparison to others.

    I find some NTs and STs are more emotional than I am. It is often anger they show most naturally when it comes to emotional states. My longest relationship was with an emotionally stunted ILI who studied emotions to understand them. I may have been influenced by him to contain myself.


    You are not very emotional


    Whether it’s natural self-control or a deliberate decision, you seem detached and don’t often show your emotions. You are alert and self-possessed and you refuse to be blinded by your feelings. However, since expressing our emotions is a way of coping with things, being indifferent is in itself an emotional response. But whatever the reality is, you come across as cold and give the impression that you are withdrawn and isolated from the world around you. You don’t want to seem like a conformist, so you rarely express an opinion, whatever it is, not even if it’s to let people know that you are in a good mood or that you are happy. Because you suppress your emotions you seem blasé. Does that sound familiar? Perhaps you are, in fact, extremely emotional, but unable to show it, keeping your real sensitivity locked away. Or maybe you have tried to remain impervious to everyday emotions to preserve your freedom? You’ve developed a thick skin to protect you from others and you try to be ‘zen’ about things so as not to appear vulnerable. These are the qualities that make you a dominant personality. But living alongside you means to constantly have to decipher how you’re feeling because your moments of joy, happiness, love, resentment, indecision, anger or fear are always tempered by your sang-foid. In 1984, George Orwell portrayed the dangers of a world without emotion. What if you allowed yourself to stop hiding how you felt and allowed your emotions to work in conjunction with the other qualities that you possess?
    Edit: It is possible I have become desensitized to some things by my life experiences. :/

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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