Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 40 of 59

Thread: Delta and Passive-Aggressive Behaviour?

  1. #1
    meme hotline Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    ethic 3
    Posts
    9,085
    Mentioned
    711 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default Delta and Passive-Aggressive Behaviour?

    Is it a big deal in Delta or not? Given they are the opposite of the outspoken and direct Betas - with and in particular which mediate conflicts indirectly, but a grudge is still there? Given that the intro elements are crucial (unlike Beta's -), are SLI/EII more passive-aggressive, and LSE/IEE less so?


    Quick reminder about the term itself before we discuss:

    Quote Originally Posted by m webster
    Definition of passive-aggressive

    :being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness)
    • It is passive-aggressive behavior, the donning of a mask of amiability that conceals raw antagonism toward one's competitors, even one's friends. —Hilary De Vries
    • A passive-aggressive manager eschews open hostilities, in part because he feels distinctly uncomfortable with them. —Walter Kiechel III


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    264
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I become passive aggressive when I internalise conflict instead of confronting it head on. That happens when I'm in high conflict environments or around people that don't allow me to freely express myself or eschew the things I say. But I'm not sure if that's a delta thing or an enneagram 9 thing.

    It led to many problems with projection. I had problems with expressing my true feelings for a really long time, so instead I would use other things and people as a conduit for my own pain.

    Sometimes I resort to passivity because I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but that's also a projection of my own sensitivity. Now I figure people need to have their feelings hurt, it builds character.

  3. #3
    NdFeB08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    TIM
    IXXp 639 sp/so
    Posts
    100
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My dad is SLI and I'm EII, and we both have a tendency towards passive-aggressiveness instead of being upfront, and (unlike my brother and mother - ENTp and ENFp) we hold grudges for hell knows how long. We both need Jesus and Dr. Phil, although I don't know if it's a type related thing.

    Usually it manifests as fake compliance followed by either putting off or ignoring someone's request; then there's the occasional backhanded compliment or snarky joke. *Shame...shame...shame* ding ding ding! LOL
    A few times it only works as a taunting move and people end up even more pissed off...so you get to point out their incivility!

    I will normally resort to running away ASAP but if that fails, then some passive aggressiveness will do; I'm isually at loss for what to do/say when it comes to directly confronting someone. Well, that's my dirty laundry.
    Last edited by NdFeB08; 11-01-2017 at 01:05 AM.

  4. #4
    idontgiveaf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    2,873
    Mentioned
    166 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm actually in the middle.. I'm not very aggressive.. I'll just be aggressive when i need to, i can also be passive aggressive when i need to. Like i need to protect something. But if there's nothing to protect then, aggressive. Or maybe i just don't give a fuck xD

  5. #5
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Your most intimate spaces
    TIM
    IEE 379 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,989
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yes, this is one of the main reasons why I run into conflict with Deltas. I feel annoyed when somebody makes sly dig at me, or tries to undermine me covertly. There are two reasons for this:

    Firstly, passive-aggressiveness is weak. I dislike intrigue and gossip, and don't respect people who mock me behind my back.

    Secondly, if you avoid talking to me, we can't resolve our conflict because I won't know what it is that's bothering you.

    I value efficiency and conflict doesn't help that, so you can usually make a deal with me if you're direct about what you want and willing to compromise. However, you must stay focused and not insult me, interrogate me or shame me in public (Alphas seem to have a problem with this, too - they can be awfully spiteful). You can't pull that shit on me, because I'll just shut you down and walk away. No deal is better than a bad deal.
    Last edited by Spermatozoa; 11-01-2017 at 04:03 AM.

  6. #6
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    passive aggression is just what people call perceived slights on their unconscious functions because they sense the hit but not where its coming from exactly and assume the clandestine nature was intentional. theres 16 different versions of passive aggressive and no one likes it and everyone has an issue with it

  7. #7
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Your most intimate spaces
    TIM
    IEE 379 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,989
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    passive aggression is just what people call perceived slights on their unconscious functions because they sense the hit but not where its coming from exactly and assume the clandestine nature was intentional. theres 16 different versions of passive aggressive and no one likes it and everyone has an issue with it
    So what would Se PoLR (EII & LII) consider to be passive-aggressive behaviour?

  8. #8
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    when people take openings they perceive without regard for whether or not they should (either ethically or logically, SLE can be immoral SEE can be self defeating and counter productive), reckless expansion in other words

  9. #9
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I agree that in general introverts don't call what they experience as what extroverts call passive aggression passive aggression, in other words introverts because of their heightened introversion tend to know where the shits coming from in such a way that it presents itself slightly differently and they're less likely to call it passive aggression, rather theyd just call it straight aggression, which is what it is

    but in the end it doesn't really matter what you call it, its a universal phenomenon which is really mostly rooted in misunderstanding or we could say functional asymmetry. real evil is actually pretty rare

  10. #10
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Your most intimate spaces
    TIM
    IEE 379 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,989
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    when people take openings they perceive without regard for whether or not they should (either ethically or logically, SLE can be immoral SEE can be self defeating and counter productive), reckless expansion in other words
    This is very helpful actually.

    The opposite (Fi/Ti PoLR) seems to me like a resentment of forced, strict, dogmatic ethics (SLE) or logic (SEE) as both types look for flexibility, believe in being the exception to the rule, and prefer to act first, before others by seizing an opening (and might even create one where none had existed) then discover the rationale, or how they feel "later" as a result of having done so.

    "If you don't do it, how will you ever know?"

    In other words action (Se) comes first, which I think disorients a lot of people, especially Alpha/Delta Intuitives who can't deal with the heat and become defensive as a result. I often find them obnoxious, patronizing, self-righteous and sarcastic.

  11. #11
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    yeah the trick to dealing with Se types is let them do whatever they want and reap the consequences for themselves, either people just avoid SLE (Fi) or contain SEE (Ti)

    Se types have such a direct relationship to reality no one really needs to intervene, they either self regulate or self destruct all on their own

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    11,801
    Mentioned
    1080 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cuivienen View Post
    believe in being the exception to the rule
    All P types tend to disrespect "the common". Also non-types psyche issues as sociopathy of different kinds, including narcissism.

    > In other words action (Se) comes first, which I think disorients a lot of people, especially Alpha/Delta Intuitives who can't deal with the heat

    In other words no one likes to get pressure on nonvalued weak functions. Those base Se need to follow norms of valued functions of others, then Se stuff will be accapted in a "package".
    Example. SLE wants to force EII to do something. Ok - explain by Te why it's needed, guarantee comfort and no health threats. In this borders SLE may "force" without return spits, as EII will be motivated by own valued functions, while Se will be accepted as secondary, as background. The problems will appear if you'll say "just do this", when EII is unsure about support of own valued aspects.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  13. #13
    meme hotline Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    ethic 3
    Posts
    9,085
    Mentioned
    711 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NdFeB08 View Post
    We both need Jesus and Dr. Phil, although I don't know if it's a type related thing.
    Well they're both rational types so piece it together.

  14. #14
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,523
    Mentioned
    140 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I lived with a SLI roommate who screwed the bathroom window shut because I had kept leaving it open because I didn't like all the steam. The window was permanently sealed shut without telling me. This was in winter.

    Passive aggressive much??

  15. #15
    Tommy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    SLI-0 D sx/sp
    Posts
    2,994
    Mentioned
    342 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Its awful having to go to cold bathrooms in winter. Probably he didn't want to freez his ass off.

    Anyway I'm sure now the term passive aggressive was invented by extroverts (often as a way of displace guilt or put responsability in others) who can't understand/explain certain introverted behaviors.

    Also I've seen extroverts being passive aggressive too.
    Last edited by Tommy; 11-01-2017 at 04:24 PM.

  16. #16
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I love how there's all this collective wisdom in this thread and here comes IEI, disregarding it entirely, to bitch about their window; to me that's passive aggressive

    its like heaven forbid you have a conversation with the SLI about it or remember to shut the window, no the answer is clearly deltas are passive aggressive. talk about jumping to the highest level of analysis

    anyway the point is passive aggressive is illusory and wacey can't help creating those impressions in the same way SLI did not fail to create a similar impression on Wacey, precipitating this entire thing

  17. #17
    thehotelambush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,112
    Mentioned
    288 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yes absolutely. Fi and especially Si are the elements that cause us to internalize conflict rather than manifesting it as open conflict and negative emotion (anger). I find this to be a major point of irritation when it comes to Deltas and other quadras.

  18. #18
    The sleeping beauty Velvet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    308
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I've see this here from e9 mostly. Also from Si/Ne valuers. From my experience, Se/Ni are straightforward, even Se suggestive ones.

  19. #19
    meme hotline Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    ethic 3
    Posts
    9,085
    Mentioned
    711 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet View Post
    I've see this here from e9 mostly. Also from Si/Ne valuers. From my experience, Se/Ni are straightforward, even Se suggestive ones.
    Yes. It's an important point, ILI and IEI shouldn't be underestimated. Especially when they know how to provoke an outburst to get things moving. IEIs have this down to a T even if they don't seem conventionally confrontational.

  20. #20
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    11,312
    Mentioned
    970 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    I love how there's all this collective wisdom in this thread and here comes IEI, disregarding it entirely, to bitch about their window; to me that's passive aggressive

    its like heaven forbid you have a conversation with the SLI about it or remember to shut the window, no the answer is clearly deltas are passive aggressive. talk about jumping to the highest level of analysis

    anyway the point is passive aggressive is illusory and wacey can't help creating those impressions in the same way SLI did not fail to create a similar impression on Wacey, precipitating this entire thing
    FFS

    By collective wisdom you mean your own. You continuously and passive aggressively mention, without the @, people in threads (even those they are not participating in) in order to further your agenda of the moment, whatever it may be. This usually involves some kind of retyping of them, whatever type you are hating on at the moment and not self typing yourself. Then you often make some off the wall socionics intertype relationship comment to justify it instead of taking responsibility for your own victim mentality. I do not mean socionics "victim". It is also a pattern you display when you have knee jerk reactions to people but then realize you are coming off like a jerk so you often cover with a made up socionics explanation. What you do is a form of gaslighting, not only the individuals but the forum. For someone who is supposed to be all about the individual you sure do like throwing people with very different traits and personalities into whatever category you happen to be hating on. I am just surprised more people don't call you on it.


    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  21. #21
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,936
    Mentioned
    484 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    you flatterer

  22. #22
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    11,312
    Mentioned
    970 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    I lived with a SLI roommate who screwed the bathroom window shut because I had kept leaving it open because I didn't like all the steam. The window was permanently sealed shut without telling me. This was in winter.

    Passive aggressive much??
    My brother is always messing with the thermostat so he turns the ac way down or the heat way up. He doesn't pay the bills. I have talked to him about it many times and even though he tells me he gets it he still does it. I am so fed up because it is either way too hot or way to cold in the rest of the house when we really only use two rooms. I put a window unit in my room since the central air really doesn't work well on my side of the house and freezes the rest of the house out. I bought a thermostat with a password that can also be programmed. I set the program thinking it might keep him from playing with it and also setting it so he would be comfortable. He still messes with it. I am thinking of setting a password but it will probably start a fight if he discovers it when I am not around. I probably will make him stand there as I set it so there is no misunderstanding of my intention for doing it. He also leaves the seat up.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  23. #23

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    11,801
    Mentioned
    1080 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    By collective wisdom you mean your own. You continuously and passive aggressively mention, without the @, people in threads (even those they are not participating in) in order to further your agenda of the moment, whatever it may be. This usually involves some kind of retyping of them, whatever type you are hating on at the moment and not self typing yourself. Then you often make some off the wall socionics intertype relationship comment to justify it instead of taking responsibility for your own victim mentality. I do not mean socionics "victim". It is also a pattern you display when you have knee jerk reactions to people but then realize you are coming off like a jerk so you often cover with a made up socionics explanation. What you do is a form of gaslighting, not only the individuals but the forum. For someone who is supposed to be all about the individual you sure do like throwing people with very different traits and personalities into whatever category you happen to be hating on. I am just surprised more people don't call you on it.
    Let's retype Aylen to ESI, based on this, with a passive aggressively mentioning her without @.

    (me thinks somewhere near Aylen regularly walk angry ESIs where she've taken all those "bad" words and mood of undoubted moralizing. me thinks she needs more introject ESIs when they are in the "kind mode")

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Fi and especially Si are the elements that cause us to internalize conflict rather than manifesting it as open conflict and negative emotion (anger)
    You need more communication with Fi types where you'll notice "open conflicts" from Fi regions, not like with LII weak nonvalued functions. They'll express it may be not like EIE, but you'll feel it, - believe me.

    > it comes to Deltas and other quadras

    Passive aggressive behavior is more for introverts of Fi quadras. Not just quadras. You'll get not passive style from choleric base Te types easily. And the P-E will pinch you by some way too. Our quiet introverts may keep patience until just will say you like "go away from my home", "don't ring to me", "don't write to me", etc. "passive" stuff.
    Last edited by Sol; 11-01-2017 at 08:20 PM.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  24. #24
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Your most intimate spaces
    TIM
    IEE 379 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,989
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    All P types tend to disrespect "the common". Also non-types psyche issues as sociopathy of different kinds, including narcissism.

    > In other words action (Se) comes first, which I think disorients a lot of people, especially Alpha/Delta Intuitives who can't deal with the heat

    In other words no one likes to get pressure on nonvalued weak functions. Those base Se need to follow norms of valued functions of others, then Se stuff will be accapted in a "package".
    Example. SLE wants to force EII to do something. Ok - explain by Te why it's needed, guarantee comfort and no health threats. In this borders SLE may "force" without return spits, as EII will be motivated by own valued functions, while Se will be accepted as secondary, as background. The problems will appear if you'll say "just do this", when EII is unsure about support of own valued aspects.
    When I try to persuade somebody to join me, I'll convey what I/we are hoping to achieve, why I/we are doing it, and how it will make me/us feel better.

    E.g.

    Let's go out tonight into town (what), we'll have some pizza, visit a few bars, hook up with some girls (why), it will feel great and be totally awesome (how).

  25. #25
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    512
    Mentioned
    58 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Definitely passive aggressive. My dad is SLI and is very passive aggressive too. I find that this passive aggressiveness comes with a kind of vengeance in terms of actions, like "He did this to me, I won't tell him but I can do this to make him realise how I felt." For the IEEs i know it is less so, and theyre more head-on in dealing with their problems.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  26. #26
    thehotelambush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,112
    Mentioned
    288 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    Passive aggressive behavior is more for introverts of Fi quadras. Not just quadras. You'll get not passive style from choleric base Te types easily. And the P-E will pinch you by some way too. Our quiet introverts may keep patience until just will say you like "go away from my home", "don't ring to me", "don't write to me", etc. "passive" stuff.
    Yes that's true, types with bold and valued Fi will use Fi proportionally more.

  27. #27
    Everlast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    TIM
    LSI Ti E6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,830
    Mentioned
    106 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    I lived with a SLI roommate who screwed the bathroom window shut because I had kept leaving it open because I didn't like all the steam. The window was permanently sealed shut without telling me. This was in winter.

    Passive aggressive much??
    Haha. I know an LSE who does shit like this.

  28. #28
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,523
    Mentioned
    140 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    I love how there's all this collective wisdom in this thread and here comes IEI, disregarding it entirely, to bitch about their window; to me that's passive aggressive

    its like heaven forbid you have a conversation with the SLI about it or remember to shut the window, no the answer is clearly deltas are passive aggressive. talk about jumping to the highest level of analysis

    anyway the point is passive aggressive is illusory and wacey can't help creating those impressions in the same way SLI did not fail to create a similar impression on Wacey, precipitating this entire thing
    Dude, you are creepy.

  29. #29

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    11,801
    Mentioned
    1080 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Yes that's true, types with bold and valued Fi will use Fi proportionally more.
    Passive-agressive behavior should be linked with introversion too, not just Fi. What I tried to explain.
    For example, for LII passive-agressive behavior is common too. While Fi is their weak nonvalued.
    "Active" aggression is the expression to outside, so E/I should be taken into account also.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  30. #30
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,428
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    All types are capable of exhibiting equivalent amounts of passive-aggressive behaviour; it's learned. The only differences among the types would be the nuances in how the behaviours are executed.
    a.k.a. I/O

  31. #31
    SongOfSapphire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    513
    Mentioned
    40 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I used to be (or at least strive to be) pretty direct when I had a problem with someone. But over time... either bc I suck at being direct (perhaps I was too direct?) or bc the world just doesn't work that way, I have learned to be less direct. Now, unless there is some real reason to be direct (like tonight when I went to Lowe's to speak with a manager about their botched handling of a project I wanted them to do) I just don't bother to bring things up with most people and I will avoid them if possible instead. With people I value -- my family or close friends -- I will bring things up to fix them and restore or maintain our good relationship, but with people I don't have or want to deal with, I no longer bother. I thought that was a part of getting older, but maybe it's down to socionics, too.

    Another example: someone emailed to ask if I would give them a 5-star review for their work. As a matter of fact, I was angry with the person for the way he had handled some things and would have been more likely to give a 3-star review... but I just ignored his emails and phone calls, rather than explain my feelings or give what I felt was an unearned rave review. I'm sure he wonders wtf happened, and I guess that could be seen as passive aggressive, but whatever. EDIT: I guess that's more passive and not so much passive aggressive.
    "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra

  32. #32
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Your most intimate spaces
    TIM
    IEE 379 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,989
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SongOfSapphire View Post
    Another example: someone emailed to ask if I would give them a 5-star review for their work. As a matter of fact, I was angry with the person for the way he had handled some things and would have been more likely to give a 3-star review...
    These vendettas can become a big problem. At least you were wise enough to recognize how your feelings could get in the way of a fair judgement. A lot of people are too spiteful to give a shit.

    Quote Originally Posted by SongOfSapphire View Post
    but I just ignored his emails and phone calls, rather than explain my feelings or give what I felt was an unearned rave review. I'm sure he wonders wtf happened, and I guess that could be seen as passive aggressive, but whatever. EDIT: I guess that's more passive and not so much passive aggressive.
    You could have just forwarded his work onto somebody else for review? People have conflicts of interest all the time, it's not a big deal.

  33. #33
    Pookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    TIM
    IEI-Ni 6w5-9-2 So/Sx
    Posts
    2,369
    Mentioned
    109 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Eiis oscillate between passive aggressiveness and out right contempt.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

  34. #34
    Pookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    TIM
    IEI-Ni 6w5-9-2 So/Sx
    Posts
    2,369
    Mentioned
    109 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    But yeah, deltas have more passive aggressiveness on average, ime.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

  35. #35
    Spermatozoa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Your most intimate spaces
    TIM
    IEE 379 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,989
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    But yeah, deltas have more passive aggressiveness on average, ime.
    Yes. I really feel that so long as everyone is direct, calm and willing to stay focused, it's usually possible to iron out any differences and resolve conflict. After all, we are on the same side (supposedly). However, if you are in a group which mostly consists of Deltas, resentment can fester over time because they won't often tell you how they feel, then one day BOOM! It all comes out in a particularly unpleasant way...they'll tell you what a disgusting, reprehensible person you are etc etc. I will never tolerate being slandered. A lot of the EIIs in particular seem to be loose cannons who trash you when put under pressure, and it can be very annoying.

  36. #36
    COOF Grendel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    TIM
    bad (the bad kind)
    Posts
    1,715
    Mentioned
    127 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I cause more destruction by dryly saying candid but retarded shit and only realizing halfway through that it's a politically bad move than letting malice seep into things. Not as good at malice as I'd like to be; my rage tends to diffuse my talking points and thus make communication even less direct.

    t. deltan

  37. #37
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    TIM
    9w8
    Posts
    3,523
    Mentioned
    140 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Haha on point and made by JP Spears a IEE.


  38. #38
    Raver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    TIM
    Ne-IEE 6w7 sp/sx
    Posts
    4,938
    Mentioned
    220 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    SLIs and EIIs can be passive aggressive at times. It varies for IEEs, I think me and other IEEs are occasionally passive aggressive, but prefer to be direct. LSEs are rarely passive aggressive from my experience, they are either polite or aggressive and tend to oscillate between the two frequently.
    “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” Randy Pausch

    Ne-IEE
    6w7 sp/sx
    6w7-9w1-4w5

  39. #39
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    I'm a spy, but on your side, you see. East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,892
    Mentioned
    47 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    Is it a big deal in Delta or not? :
    not more than anywhere else

    a perception of such , as alluded to earlier here, may come from not valuiing Fe or Se; that may taint things to seem more obscures for nondeltas.

    But I think you can find a general spectrum of health and interpersonal maturity, yes.
    I find alphas to be on the whole the most passive aggressive, because "everything has to be said nicely"
    gammas maybe the least so
    betas more antagonizingly so
    deltas, their pettiness does seem to come from these weird justifications about why how they "feel about something" justifies their bullshit. I feel like for deltas it's basically silly attempts at associating some kind of respectable logic to whatever is a petty kind of bias or outright dislike.

    I think people actually like deltas when they can have that dislike and just not try to dress it up as something other than what it is - either a hate, a bias, a dislike, a shortcoming, a failure, or whatever. I think the lack of this can make delta seem disingenuous at times; but again, it's all quite relative.

    I feel like I have to speak in baby-happy talk to alphas
    I feel like I have to speak to clueless teenagers when addressing betas, and really obviously signal my meaning and ASSOCIATED FEELING , but not really overtly tell them about things, so they can have their hands held but feel like the cool teenager who doesn't actually need hand holding.
    gammas , you basically work within their snapshot and generally narrow worldview and figure out how to talk within what they value or just avoid it. I feel like they have a hard time considering certain alternatives.
    Healthy deltas are great but general or petty deltas, as above, seem so bent on justifying their pettiness with insubstantiality that is lopsided in meaning in their own mind, it is tiresome and to an extent you have to periodically overlook it, for those deltas that aren't interested in self-grooming their inner workings. But the last bit is quite the case for every human and quadra.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  40. #40
    Haikus Delilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII
    Posts
    1,490
    Mentioned
    93 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Ime this isn't exclusively delta, i feel like Alpha is pretty much all about being passive aggressive due to dislike of Se. Maybe delta has specific ways of being passive aggressive tho (??)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •