Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Extroverted feeling Fe and reading people

Hybrid View

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    48
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Extroverted feeling Fe and reading people

    So I've heard that ESE are supposed to be good at the social-emotional stuff and reading people, but I've been wondering if maybe that's not quite true?

    My impression is that they are good at reading the surface signs but might have a hard time going deeper?

    Maybe the typical ESE mode of action is that they use Si, not Fe, to read people, since Si is about how the environment is impacting you and that could include people's body language and physical disposition towards you. Then they use Fe to try to exert some sort of influence to further their goal (usually achieving a positive atmosphere).

    However some ESEs I know seem confused when people don't react to them the way they were hoping, and start stressing out about whether did something that caused the other person to be mad or offended and then start talking to people about what happened to see if other people can make sense of it.

    So maybe understanding why people react to you in a certain way and reading between the lines is more Ne? (paired with either Fi or Ti? not sure...) It's just that even if LIIs are able to figure that out they aren't good at doing anything about it due to 1D Fe & Se?

  2. #2
    meme hotline Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    TIM
    ethic 3
    Posts
    9,083
    Mentioned
    716 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yes I think ESE takes people at face value there, while EIE for instance doesn't. I'd link it to , the reading between the lines part.

  3. #3
    Exodus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,397
    Mentioned
    325 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Sometimes ESEs' understanding of people's feelings is rather simplistic - "oh you're sad, you need some food!"

    When it comes to depth/nuance stuff you need Ni and Fi. So it's kind of like an LII running a business - theoretically something we are partly equipped for but don't ever actually do.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    13,331
    Mentioned
    1265 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    F types check and understand ok emotions of other people. N types understand better also reasons, contradictions, nuances, deepness, perspectives of emotions.
    F-N types are better in this.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  5. #5
    nyessss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    TIM
    female
    Posts
    159
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    They're probably the most well equipped to read facial expressions and moods out of any type. What to do with it however is probably as the LII said, somewhat simplistic, which can be very good depending on the context. LIIs, their duals, like to simplify complexities, so they have a natural appreciation for simplicity. Also I believe LIIs are the hardest type to read with the most minimal of emotion expression, 1D unconscious accepting Fe coupled with inclinations towards the imaginary, so it's an impressive feat to read their emotions.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    48
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by muhtempus View Post
    They're probably the most well equipped to read facial expressions and moods out of any type. What to do with it however is probably as the LII said, somewhat simplistic, which can be very good depending on the context. LIIs, their duals, like to simplify complexities, so they have a natural appreciation for simplicity. Also I believe LIIs are the hardest type to read with the most minimal of emotion expression, 1D unconscious accepting Fe coupled with inclinations towards the imaginary, so it's an impressive feat to read their emotions.
    I know LIIs aren't supposed to be intimidating, but I often feel like that's something about me that can intimidate some people.

  7. #7
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    15,880
    Mentioned
    1504 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Memph View Post
    I know LIIs aren't supposed to be intimidating, but I often feel like that's something about me that can intimidate some people.
    Are you tall, overweight, have a scraggly beard and don't bathe? That would do it.


  8. #8
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,934
    Mentioned
    171 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I find that the Si-preference is the most tuned to body language and intonation while the Ni-preference is more perceptive of intent or subterfuge. I associate Fe and Te more with abilities to deal with the perceptions. Also, intelligence is independent of type; I equate it to having faster processors that can be applied any type.....
    a.k.a. I/O

  9. #9
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    15,880
    Mentioned
    1504 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    I find that the Si-preference is the most tuned to body language and intonation while the Ni-preference is more perceptive of intent or subterfuge. I associate Fe and Te more with abilities to deal with the perceptions. Also, intelligence is independent of type; I equate it to having faster processors that can be applied any type.....
    a.k.a. I/O
    Yeah, you right. My screwed up rational prejudices are showing. I need to get past this stuff somehow while still maintaining some useful perspective.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    48
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sorrows View Post
    Sure, we are good at reading people. But so are EIE, IEE, and ESI. We all have different methods of doing so.

    In general my EIE mom and I have the exact same insights and conclusions about people. We will get into these in-depth conversations with the same observations so I think a lot of reading people's moods is Fe because she has little Si and I have little Ni.

    ESE will use stored information about a person and pull it from their Si to compare past and present behaviors to see if they are consistent as well but its mostly Fe we use. We also have decent Ne that helps us figure out someone else's motivations. IEE use their Ne, Fi and unconscious background 4d Fe to read people.

    To contrast SLI, ILI, don't value reading into people's states and emotions. They might struggle with it as well. They are fe polr.

    There is some talk that ESEs can't go deep or lack a rich internal world or understanding of what is around them due to Ni polr. I don't think that is quite true. I feel very rich and powerful emotions and can sense them in others. But I'm also an E4.

    Perhaps what you are referring to is that ESEs like public displays of affection and verbal affirmations much unlike the ESI and EII who prefer Fi and don't require external shows of affection to prove a bond. Yes, we like declarations that people like us! And that is why you probably won't see us with an ILI or SLI as we need some external proof of their affection and often. LSI and LII can compliment and give PDA with their 1D Fe. It is weak but around us they feel encouraged to use it.

    It doesn't mean we aren't deep or don't see what is not there. We just need someone to speak to us in our own language like every type. Don't go speaking Se to an EII you will piss them off. Don't speak Ni or Se to us all the time!

    It is the same with a LIE. Talk to them in Fe enough and they will get annoyed. You speak to each type in their native language.
    ESE like external ethics. It is our main language. Call it shallow or lacking or whatever but that is what it is and how we see the world.

    Reading between the lines is mainly ILE, IEE, EII. ESE and EIE do it too. I know I do.
    ok, just trying to understand how you guys work, I don't know that many ESEs, and maybe the main one I have in mind is actually SEI (or just Si subtype)? The (possibly SEI) ESE I'm thinking of seems a bit reluctant to speculate about the "why"s behind people's behaviour towards her. Maybe it's because we're not that close? Or they will come up with some possibilities but keep them private and wait for others to provide input? I'd say I'm fairly willing to speculate openly and use people as a sounding board. She seems more willing to shoot down some of my more far fetched ideas.

    Basically she'll say a lot of stuff like

    "I told my supervisor when I was hoping to finish my task, and he said that I needed to be held to it somehow. Then he told me that if I didn't finish when I said I would, he'd move my desk!" (away from the friends she made)
    Which to me seemed like a combination of wanting to tell an entertaining little story but also trying to see if others thought her supervisor was joking or not and how worried she should be.

    or
    "My office mate was just listening to music staring blankly across the office, and I asked her what she was doing and why she wasn't working and her and my other office mate just shot me a dirty look. Why would you come into the office if you're not going to do any work?" (I think she was also distracted by the fact that her office mate was kind of staring off blankly in her general direction while she was trying to work and had her back turned)

    or
    "What do you think of this sample? My coworker showed it to me and I told her I didn't think it looked like what she said it was and she acted really offended"

    How would you interpret that kind of stuff? Is it more like sensitivity to other people's attitude towards her and looking for Fe feedback? i.e. were they right or were they wrong to act this way? Or is it more looking for what I'd think of as Ti/Ne/Ni feedback, like "why did they act this way so that I know what to do about it"?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •