How & where would you like to live? A beach? A desert? In a wood? The city? A cabin, a mansion, a snazzy apartment? What kind of job would you like? Design your ideal life, or more than one. Can include pictures of dream house, dream job, dream area, dream superpowers, dream relationship etc. Do you want to be a wizard? The Doctor? Reality need not apply. This thread is your oyster.
the secret garden seems to be popular among delta NFs and ESIs
my dream is to hop from one apartment to the next in a different country every time. it'd be tiny and cozy and i'd have a view of the scenery below. sometimes i imagine a young girl there with me. she's a toddler. i'm painting on a canvas while she sits on the rug nearby. every once in a while i switch it up and i imagine the scenario with a guy i can only assume is my partner, except this time i'm on a stepladder. i'm pregnant, and i'm painting a mural on the wall. there's some distance between us. but it's only natural. i've had similar dreams of owning a local bookshop which i sparsely visit. i delegate tasks to my employees while i pop in whenever i feel like it to say hello. i've got a wide group of acquaintances. my family is nowhere to be seen. at times i don't imagine a family at all. it's just me finding solace in various countries around the world. breathing in the culture. feeding my understanding of the world. eventually i find myself, but then i realize that i found myself years ago and this is merely a reunion. i never live past 30. now i imagine that i've integrated myself into the punk scene in the uk. i don't think the stream of dreams ever ends. i just want to taste every inch of this world but the clock's ticking. the real dream is writing a shitty romantic YA novel that makes me millions by exploiting the frivolous fantasies of preteen girls who don't know any better. then i spend the rest of my life coasting through the bullshit. there's always a high stack of books. but what if i decide that i want to run a magazine? a magazine that aims to bring harsh truths to light. maybe a photojournalist? what if marine biology is my true calling? but what if i want to go to language school in japan? what if i want to make fun mistakes until the day i die? what if i want to emulate the experiences of the chick from good will hunting who just transferred from school to school, learning all day for shits and giggles? what if i make it big one day because someone out there decides that my stream of consciousness vents are worth something? what if i just want to be swept away by a charming stoner-boy so we can waste the rest of our years together in a dingy apartment out on the coast of BC? what if i find myself in a polyamorous commune? but what if i die tomorrow with no accomplishments to speak of besides the slow decay of the romanticized dreams i've outlined in this post right here? stay away from cigarettes, kids.
I need a life where challenges are present and curiosity has a purpose, so my current life isn't that bad. Any ideal life would be a life where I was presented with problems and needed to learn new things to solve them. I'm not even sure if having more money would make it better since it would take away some of the pressure that makes a problem a problem. It's been something I've been thinking about lately.
I'll start with a dream I've had since I was young...
I'd like to have an old Victorian house, preferably with much history, in a wooded and secluded area... lots of trees. I want ivy going up my house. I will string fairy lights all over the trees. I would like the house to have a huge wrap around porch, and a pond and a deck with a paddle boat. I'd like a huge library in my house with spiral staircases, and a old Victorian style conservatory. And secret passages, and hidden rooms. Also a movie theatre in the basement. Plenty of woodwork. Lots of antiques that I've picked out myself. Lots of Aladdin lamps. Lots of fairy lights. I'd have one hell of an electric bill. I'd also like stained glass windows and a picture window for reading on rainy days. I want a huge garden, like in the secret garden. I'll have to learn to Garden. I'd also like my own fruit and vegetable garden, and a barn with livestock. I'd like a trout stream nearby so I can learn the art of fly fishing. I will live there with my family, and we can have lemonade on the porch and discover cooking together. I'd like to be a Literature professor, specializing in gothic literature, at an old college within a small historical town. And maybe in my spare time I'll be a genealogist. Maybe I'll own my own small local bookstore like The Shop Around the Corner in You've Got Mail.
None of the other stuff, like what kind of car I have, how big my house is, how socially popular I am, really matters. The one and only reason I take any interest in such things is to make the above become real.
If you have someone in your life who loves you, you can be very happy even if you are poor and live in the middle of nowhere.
To be given biological immortality and leave this forsaken planet, as humanity is doomed. I will travel various star systems, searching for life and observing a slice of universe. The Starship will be my home.
Important to note! People who share "indentical" socionics TIMs won't necessarily appear to be very similar, since they have have different backgrounds, experiences, capabilities, genetics, as well as different types in other typological systems (enneagram, instinctual variants, etc.) all of which also have a sway on compatibility and identification. Thus, Socionics type "identicals" won't necessarily be identical i.e. highly similar to each other, and not all people of "dual" types will seem interesting, attractive and appealing to each other.
As for my relationships, I would like an SO who is also my best friend.
(How am I doing? - I have an ex-wife who is a pretty good friend, and some ex-GF's with whom I'm on pretty good terms. I'm hoping that the next one will be permanent.)
As for a place to live, I'd like to live in a Frank Lloyd Wright style house on a hill (with a vista view) and a river running past. A University town should be nearby. I also like seasons.
(How am I doing? - I live in a white Colonial house, purchased before I knew better. There is not much vista and the river is a mile away. It is in a University town, and I do have seasons.)
As for work, I'd like to do something that is in demand and pays well, but which doesn't take all my time. I'd like to be able to work or not, as I feel that day.
(How am I doing? - The work I do is in demand and pays well, but it takes all my time, and it is hard to take very much time off.)
As for fun (which for an LIE is work, but that's not what most people think), I'd like to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where tourists do not. With my SO.
(How am I doing? - I travel a lot, and have been to lots of other countries, seeking new life and new civilizations, so that part is pretty OK. I still need the SO part.)
Overall, I feel like I'm less than halfway there. But I've started.
When it comes to the things we want we leave out the struggles and problems that come with it. We want a nice job but not the hard work and the extra work hours. We want a good relationship but not the emotional pain. We want a house but not the liabilities that come with it. We want children but not the tantrums and financial worries.
And when we get a big house. It becomes empty, boring, a waste of money and time - seriously who cleans that monster. We get a nice pricey car that needs pricey insurance although no one drives with it 60% of the time. And big ass weddings that leave big ass holes in your bank account.
I want a nice flat for exactly two people and a balcony with pretty pot flowers with those damn wasps that come with them. I want an ugly cat from the shelter that needs lot of cuddles and meows all night because that little fucker needs attention and care. I want a husband who is loving and can get on my nerves and because we have a small rent and no children we have enough money to go on vacations and visit museums with other stupid tourists... Wait what happens with the cat then? And I want bookshelves. A lot of them. And nice furniture that I and only I will pick. Good and fresh food. I want a good kitchen, with chef knives, where I (or we) can experiment with recipes. I want the smell of cookies and cinnamon in winter and the mess in the kitchen when I cook for my friends.
Last edited by Cosmic Teapot; 09-16-2017 at 12:10 AM.
Hi, @Cosmic Teapot.
I found your post absolutely amazing. I should have read it before marrying my SLI-Te ex. Apparently, there are only 16 (or 32, with sub-types) people in the world.
Let's go through your post line-by-line and compare it to my experience with my SLI-Te ex.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
When it comes to the things we want we leave out the struggles and problems that come with it. We want a nice job but not the hard work and the extra work hours.
She works for the U of M Law School, but only puts in 30 or so hours a week. She also takes a lot of days off. The University seems fine with that.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
We want a good relationship but not the emotional pain.
I had to twist her arm to marry me. (I'm not doing that again. Lol.)
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
We want a house but not the liabilities that come with it.
When we got married, she had an apartment and I had a house. She moved into the house, but I was responsible for all the repairs and the lawn and most of the cleaning.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
We want children but not the tantrums and financial worries.
When our son was born, she didn't want to be a housewife, so I quit my job and stayed home to raise him. It was quite a learning experience for me. I started my first company at this time to get more money.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
And when we get a big house. It becomes empty, boring, a waste of money and time - seriously who cleans that monster.
At first, we had maids. But with only one of us working, I ended up doing the cleaning. She knows what a vacuum cleaner is, but I rarely saw her interacting with it.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
We get a nice pricey car that needs pricey insurance although no one drives with it 60% of the time.
I bought Mercedes, but she didn't like to drive. Driving was my job.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
And big ass weddings that leave big ass holes in your bank account.
That, she did on the cheap. It only put us into debt for six months.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
I want a nice flat for exactly two people and a balcony with pretty pot flowers with those damn wasps that come with them. I want an ugly cat from the shelter that needs lot of cuddles and meows all night because that little fucker needs attention and care.
This is actually, exactly what she has now. Including the one-eyed cat from the shelter that wants attention and the balcony with plants. She looks after its health wonderfully and feeds it on a strict schedule.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
I want a husband who is loving and can get on my nerves and because we have a small rent and no children we have enough money to go on vacations and visit museums with other stupid tourists... Wait what happens with the cat then?
Well, she had most of that; we went on vacations, but that was before the divorce and the cat.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
And I want bookshelves. A lot of them. And nice furniture that I and only I will pick.
When she moved into the house, all of my furniture got placed on the front lawn with a "free" sign, and she went shopping to replace everything. One thing she came back with was a wall of bookcases, floor to ceiling.
Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
Good and fresh food. I want a good kitchen, with chef knives, where I (or we) can experiment with recipes. I want the smell of cookies and cinnamon in winter and the mess in the kitchen when I cook for my friends.
She has always been a fan of fresh food and she now cooks a lot. Both for herself and our son (he can cook, too, now) and for her friends. One thing I did right was to buy her a nice knife for chopping vegetables. She liked that.
So, that was the past. Amazing coincidences, right? Here is what has happened since then.
The divorce gave her enough money so she doesn't have to work, but she does, anyway. She walks to work because she hates cars and likes the exercise. And I'm pretty sure she will never remarry. I hope your luck is better. (Don't marry an LIE!).
Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-16-2017 at 05:02 AM.
A condo close to downtown with a dishwasher and a balcony. This is doable, eventually. Ideally it would have modern fixtures and some room to move around but still a certain amount of charm, not one of those boring new luxury buildings that are popping up every week around here.
A dog, and a man who loves me but doesn't permanently share my kitchen, bathroom, or major decisions.
Ideally I'd like a job that allows me to telecommute and some flexibility in hours, and with a bit more room for creativity and my own personal stamp than the one I have, but this is less doable as I have no idea what it would be. Maybe I'll become a findom.
I used to desire so much, like a personally designed home, a luxary car, etc. I have very expensive tastes. However, when reality set in with a career, I had to settle for much less; I would've been foolish to not adapt. Although I still have strong aesthetic preferences, I prefer a life with minimal demands. Luxury requires vast amounts of time and effort to afford and there are too many important things in life for me that I cannot ignore, like reading, watching movies, enjoying time with family and friends, creating art, writing, criticising socionics(ha!), reflecting, etc. There is no time to have it all. Everyone has to decide what kind of life is valuable to them, at least if you have some say in the matter.
I've stopped desiring things I will likely never have as it is futile to dream of more than what is possible. My house suits our needs with or without kids as planned, but plans are currently being reworked. In the end I want an art studio, a den for my walls of books, a nice large desk of nice quality. Having someone that truly loves me would be nice too, but I won't dwell on that.
Important to note! People who share "indentical" socionics TIMs won't necessarily appear to be very similar, since they have have different backgrounds, experiences, capabilities, genetics, as well as different types in other typological systems (enneagram, instinctual variants, etc.) all of which also have a sway on compatibility and identification. Thus, Socionics type "identicals" won't necessarily be identical i.e. highly similar to each other, and not all people of "dual" types will seem interesting, attractive and appealing to each other.
My Dream Life is a life that is aligned with my sense of purpose. That purpose is somewhat flexible, but certain elements are fixed. At its core, it is a desire to touch and enrich other people's lives. I always thought that the best way to do that, for me, is by writing.
In that context, I have always felt like I needed to publish at least one novel in my life. A novel that enough people enjoy; ideally a wide range of people; a novel that would get translated into several languages and truly enrich people's lives. Or rather, I used to think that was my purpose. Perhaps I'd be better at writing shorter stories, however; so at the moment, I have been learning and reading about the craft of screenwriting. At the moment, this is my focus, and I get the impression I could be a good screenwriter someday if I just kept at it and did not despair over beginner's hurdles and mistakes. (Sometimes I have thought about whether I could become an actor; my acting skills are fine; but I cannot be bothered with taking so much meticulous care of my appearance. It is rather stressful for me. And being in the public eye with too little privacy would drive me insane; I already got panic-y before when I had an anonymous Tumblr "stalker"; I cannot imagine having to deal with a stalker in the flesh. So working behind the scenes, but still getting rewarded and valued that way, would probably be ideal for me. I feel like I'd better be a content creator rather than advertiser so to speak, though I am not entirely turned off by the latter.)
So one significant part of my dream life involves writing and sharing stories that both transmit deeper truths and entertain or touch people. I'd like to see scripts or novels of mine being turned into movies. I feel like this would be the pinnacle of my "hierarchy of needs" – the self-actualization part.
On a more basic level, I'd like to have a tight group of close friends with whom I can share my dreams and aspirations and personal secrets, and who are on a similar path and accepting of my quirks. People who are high in Openness (Big 5). I have no time for small-minded people; I have finally realized they just bring me down to their level, freezing me in my steps. Good social connections are the core of what I need to be happy; without them, I feel chronically unfulfilled and like something is missing. (SO first problems.)
After that, I'd like to meet and eventually marry a man who I genuinely love and who genuinely loves me; and perhaps build a family with him someday. Have kids. Be good parents. Grow old together. I have this vision of having grown old together with my husband of many years, looking back on a rich life we've lived together; through all the storms and upheavals. This is romantic to me. It would be horrible for me to be old and alone.
Those are my core desires. (Very So/Sx of me, I reckon.)
Besides that, I'd ideally have a house in an area close to a forest, nature; and an apartment in a bustling, multi-cultural city. So depending on my mood and the circumstances, I could alternate between living in one place or another. At the least, I'd rather live in a multi-culti city that is at the pulse of human life, rather than in some abandoned, natural place. I'd like to travel with my partner or friends, especially if my only "residence" is in a city far away from nature.
Of course it would be nice to have a designer house, designer clothes, a personal trainer, a cook, a maid, a driver, etc... own a Porsche, eat good food, and all that jazz. But none of that would truly make me happy to my core, those would just be "nice additions".
The simple formula is friends + partner + self actualization, the rest is just extra.
I have hesitated for a while to be open about my ideal life, to myself and other people, because I can too easily be discouraged by people I care about. It doesn't help that some of them happen to be family members who find my aspirations too impractical, unworthy, or whatever. Which made me develop a feeling of helplessness. I relied too much on those people, who never truly helped me and my dreams, but rather tried to push forth their own agendas; meaning well, but ultimately meaning badly for me, for anything that doesn't truly match my purpose is ultimately "bad" for me. One person in particular repeatedly discouraged me... And then they wonder why I seem to be failing at life.
I have got a lot of conflicting desires. On one hand, I want close friends, on the other I often feel like not wanting to leave the house and do anything social, and I am scared of being too vulnerable. Or I want a partner, but at the same time feel like I need to have friends and social fulfillment first. So as you can see, it is a bit of a vicious cycle.
Typically, I have the awareness of what I should be doing, but I often don't follow through with it for whatever reason; mostly it is related to the fear of failure, or to the belief that if I went for my dreams, it likely will lead to my estrangement from certain family members; and on some level, I deeply fear estrangements of any kind. Either way, I have become my own greatest obstacle, standing in my way. Once I move out of the way, I suddenly move ahead several steps. So, I don't lack the awareness, I lack the proper execution and resolve to go for it no matter what.
If I was the protagonist in a movie right now, I'd be rather boring for the most part; a boring hero, who doesn't "act" enough, and mostly either does nothing or just "reacts". I need to become my own hero. ^-^'
Oh, and one other big obstacle: Lack of experience.
Last edited by Olimpia; 09-16-2017 at 03:02 PM.
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*********** 21-04-19: "Looks like a mystic that just arrived to battle and staring out at the battle, ready to unleash"
My Dream Life is a life that is aligned with my sense of purpose. That purpose is somewhat flexible, but certain elements are fixed. At its core, it is a desire to touch and enrich other people's lives. I always thought that the best way to do that, for me, is by writing.
In that context, I have always felt like I needed to publish at least one novel in my life. A novel that enough people enjoy; ideally a wide range of people; a novel that would get translated into several languages and truly enrich people's lives. Or rather, I used to think that was my purpose. Perhaps I'd be better at writing shorter stories, however; so at the moment, I have been learning and reading about the craft of screenwriting. At the moment, this is my focus, and I get the impression I could be a good screenwriter someday if I just kept at it and did not despair over beginner's hurdles and mistakes. (Sometimes I have thought about whether I could become an actor; my acting skills are fine; but I cannot be bothered with taking so much meticulous care of my appearance. It is rather stressful for me. And being in the public eye with too little privacy would drive me insane; I already got panic-y before when I had an anonymous Tumblr "stalker"; I cannot imagine having to deal with a stalker in the flesh. So working behind the scenes, but still getting rewarded and valued that way, would probably be ideal for me. I feel like I'd better be a content creator rather than advertiser so to speak, though I am not entirely turned off by the latter.)
So one significant part of my dream life involves writing and sharing stories that both transmit deeper truths and entertain or touch people. I'd like to see scripts or novels of mine being turned into movies. I feel like this would be the pinnacle of my "hierarchy of needs" – the self-actualization part.
On a more basic level, I'd like to have a tight group of close friends with whom I can share my dreams and aspirations and personal secrets, and who are on a similar path and accepting of my quirks. People who are high in Openness (Big 5). I have no time for small-minded people; I have finally realized they just bring me down to their level, freezing me in my steps. Good social connections are the core of what I need to be happy; without them, I feel chronically unfulfilled and like something is missing. (SO first problems.)
After that, I'd like to meet and eventually marry a man who I genuinely love and who genuinely loves me; and perhaps build a family with him someday. Have kids. Be good parents. Grow old together. I have this vision of having grown old together with my husband of many years, looking back on a rich life we've lived together; through all the storms and upheavals. This is romantic to me. It would be horrible for me to be old and alone.
Those are my core desires. (Very So/Sx of me, I reckon.)
Besides that, I'd ideally have a house in an area close to a forest, nature; and an apartment in a bustling, multi-cultural city. So depending on my mood and the circumstances, I could alternate between living in one place or another. At the least, I'd rather live in a multi-culti city that is at the pulse of human life, rather than in some abandoned, natural place. I'd like to travel with my partner or friends, especially if my only "residence" is in a city far away from nature.
Of course it would be nice to have a designer house, designer clothes, a personal trainer, a cook, a maid, a driver, etc... own a Porsche, eat good food, and all that jazz. But none of that would truly make me happy to my core, those would just be "nice additions".
The simple formula is friends + partner + self actualization, the rest is just extra.
I have hesitated for a while to be open about my ideal life, to myself and other people, because I can too easily be discouraged by people I care about. It doesn't help that some of them happen to be family members who find my aspirations too impractical, unworthy, or whatever. Which made me develop a feeling of helplessness. I relied too much on those people, who never truly helped me and my dreams, but rather tried to push forth their own agendas; meaning well, but ultimately meaning badly for me, for anything that doesn't truly match my purpose is ultimately "bad" for me. One person in particular repeatedly discouraged me... And then they wonder why I seem to be failing at life.
I have got a lot of conflicting desires. On one hand, I want close friends, on the other I often feel like not wanting to leave the house and do anything social, and I am scared of being too vulnerable. Or I want a partner, but at the same time feel like I need to have friends and social fulfillment first. So as you can see, it is a bit of a vicious cycle.
Typically, I have the awareness of what I should be doing, but I often don't follow through with it for whatever reason; mostly it is related to the fear of failure, or to the belief that if I went for my dreams, it likely will lead to my estrangement from certain family members; and on some level, I deeply fear estrangements of any kind. Either way, I have become my own greatest obstacle, standing in my way. Once I move out of the way, I suddenly move ahead several steps. So, I don't lack the awareness, I lack the proper execution and resolve to go for it no matter what.
If I was the protagonist in a movie right now, I'd be rather boring for the most part; a boring hero, who doesn't "act" enough, and mostly either does nothing or just "reacts". I need to become my own hero. ^-^'
Personally comes close to what I imagined for myself too! Minus the writing part, since I see myself having a different purpose, but you pretty much nailed it, haha.
That perfectly idealised friend group never came to me though.. mostly because most people I meet aren't these uber amazing people I would like to have around me, but I noticed it is easier if I become a bit more accepting in that area and towards other people.. if reality cannot give me these people I gotta work with what I have, gotta live life after all. My closest friends and people I felt I always got along with weren't always in reach, oh well fate.
I also feel like most people rather bring you down than enrich you, so definitely with you there!
P.S. Apparently there is a saying that the things you attract in your life are a mirror of where you're at.. at the very moment. Basically a reflection.
I just want to be normal... live in a normal suburban house, with a normal family, with normal neighbors... That, or live in an apartment in a big city or somewhere in upper-class... I'm not really dreaming big or anything right now, but I tend to think that anything is possible, so I would encourage anyone to at least give anything a try... As for me... eh, I don't know, I think my choices are limited. I don't particularly care about having kids, but adopting would be cool, if I could. I just really envy having "normal" families...
I think what would truly make me happy... is to feel that I'm helping or contributing to my community, usually by volunteering and such. I go back and forth between being extremely self-indulgent and extremely selfless. But I know that deep down, what would really make me happy is to be more selfless, to help others. I would like to start some sort of a political movement, either locally or more globally, to try and make things moving in a better direction, even if slightly. There are so many decisions being made, even big decisions, if only someone could make the right decision! I would like to be with part of a group of such optimistic and selfless people, who truly believe that they can change things for the better, and yet are realistic and practical enough and have all the political know-hows.
I tried to do this but when I started comparing to what I already have, nothing seemed more ideal at this time. Even a dream home didn't compare to my real home since it is my dream home in many ways. I am getting another car because my brother ruined the paint on mine but I am making him buy mine first. I love being in these moods since they don't last.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I do not have a home but simply live in hotels in major world cities, travelling between them as I please to discuss strategy (business, politics, et cetera.)
CETERUM AUTEM CENSEO WASHINGTON D.C. ESSE DELENDAM
My Dream Life is a life that is aligned with my sense of purpose. That purpose is somewhat flexible, but certain elements are fixed. At its core, it is a desire to touch and enrich other people's lives. I always thought that the best way to do that, for me, is by writing.
In that context, I have always felt like I needed to publish at least one novel in my life. A novel that enough people enjoy; ideally a wide range of people; a novel that would get translated into several languages and truly enrich people's lives. Or rather, I used to think that was my purpose. Perhaps I'd be better at writing shorter stories, however; so at the moment, I have been learning and reading about the craft of screenwriting. At the moment, this is my focus, and I get the impression I could be a good screenwriter someday if I just kept at it and did not despair over beginner's hurdles and mistakes. (Sometimes I have thought about whether I could become an actor; my acting skills are fine; but I cannot be bothered with taking so much meticulous care of my appearance. It is rather stressful for me. And being in the public eye with too little privacy would drive me insane; I already got panic-y before when I had an anonymous Tumblr "stalker"; I cannot imagine having to deal with a stalker in the flesh. So working behind the scenes, but still getting rewarded and valued that way, would probably be ideal for me. I feel like I'd better be a content creator rather than advertiser so to speak, though I am not entirely turned off by the latter.)
So one significant part of my dream life involves writing and sharing stories that both transmit deeper truths and entertain or touch people. I'd like to see scripts or novels of mine being turned into movies. I feel like this would be the pinnacle of my "hierarchy of needs" – the self-actualization part.
On a more basic level, I'd like to have a tight group of close friends with whom I can share my dreams and aspirations and personal secrets, and who are on a similar path and accepting of my quirks. People who are high in Openness (Big 5). I have no time for small-minded people; I have finally realized they just bring me down to their level, freezing me in my steps. Good social connections are the core of what I need to be happy; without them, I feel chronically unfulfilled and like something is missing. (SO first problems.)
After that, I'd like to meet and eventually marry a man who I genuinely love and who genuinely loves me; and perhaps build a family with him someday. Have kids. Be good parents. Grow old together. I have this vision of having grown old together with my husband of many years, looking back on a rich life we've lived together; through all the storms and upheavals. This is romantic to me. It would be horrible for me to be old and alone.
Those are my core desires. (Very So/Sx of me, I reckon.)
Besides that, I'd ideally have a house in an area close to a forest, nature; and an apartment in a bustling, multi-cultural city. So depending on my mood and the circumstances, I could alternate between living in one place or another. At the least, I'd rather live in a multi-culti city that is at the pulse of human life, rather than in some abandoned, natural place. I'd like to travel with my partner or friends, especially if my only "residence" is in a city far away from nature.
Of course it would be nice to have a designer house, designer clothes, a personal trainer, a cook, a maid, a driver, etc... own a Porsche, eat good food, and all that jazz. But none of that would truly make me happy to my core, those would just be "nice additions".
The simple formula is friends + partner + self actualization, the rest is just extra.
I have hesitated for a while to be open about my ideal life, to myself and other people, because I can too easily be discouraged by people I care about. It doesn't help that some of them happen to be family members who find my aspirations too impractical, unworthy, or whatever. Which made me develop a feeling of helplessness. I relied too much on those people, who never truly helped me and my dreams, but rather tried to push forth their own agendas; meaning well, but ultimately meaning badly for me, for anything that doesn't truly match my purpose is ultimately "bad" for me. One person in particular repeatedly discouraged me... And then they wonder why I seem to be failing at life.
I have got a lot of conflicting desires. On one hand, I want close friends, on the other I often feel like not wanting to leave the house and do anything social, and I am scared of being too vulnerable. Or I want a partner, but at the same time feel like I need to have friends and social fulfillment first. So as you can see, it is a bit of a vicious cycle.
Typically, I have the awareness of what I should be doing, but I often don't follow through with it for whatever reason; mostly it is related to the fear of failure, or to the belief that if I went for my dreams, it likely will lead to my estrangement from certain family members; and on some level, I deeply fear estrangements of any kind. Either way, I have become my own greatest obstacle, standing in my way. Once I move out of the way, I suddenly move ahead several steps. So, I don't lack the awareness, I lack the proper execution and resolve to go for it no matter what.
If I was the protagonist in a movie right now, I'd be rather boring for the most part; a boring hero, who doesn't "act" enough, and mostly either does nothing or just "reacts". I need to become my own hero. ^-^'
Oh, and one other big obstacle: Lack of experience.
This is a great post. One of your best. It's a shame you don't vocalise it more.
CETERUM AUTEM CENSEO WASHINGTON D.C. ESSE DELENDAM
Tbh tho my other post, it would be fun for a little bit but not forever.
Where would I live: but not in one place. Why all people insist on having one home in a dream scenario? I would have one penthouse in Singapore, one in London and one in New York. Then I would probably have a house in the countryside in England, but not a very big one - probably about the size I grew up in. I will hire some professional to decorate them according to my general desires, or let my partner/children do it.
I would distribute my children and family and scatter them across the world, reuniting them in particular cities at particular moments. I would have three children (boy, girl, about three years difference, and then one girl who was much younger, maybe 5-6 yrs) and send them to boarding schools in Britain and the United States and France. As for partner, I am fine about marrying my current gf. I do not need to imagine someone better.
But I think it would be exciting to have mistresses and not get caught.
Although I like to cook, I like even more to eat at restaurants, so in my dream world I would only cook very irregularly, with the highest quality ingredients, for family time. Other than this I will eat all my meals out like I used to be able to do Sometimes I could take exciting vacations with my family, or on my own, or with my good friends.
What would I do? My job would be telling people what to do and strategising with people. It wouldn't matter what, but it could be politics or business. I would like to organise and lead some kind of revolution, either in business as an executive, or politics, or something. But preferably I do not have to deal with so many details at this stage, and simply discuss broad ideas and make decisions and then have competent subordinates to execute them.
At some point I will organise a coup d'etat against the government and capture the state, at which point I will be President for Life.
I feel silly dreaming about this. Realising it is more important than dreaming it.
CETERUM AUTEM CENSEO WASHINGTON D.C. ESSE DELENDAM
I tried to do this but when I started comparing to what I already have, nothing seemed more ideal at this time. Even a dream home didn't compare to my real home since it is my dream home in many ways. I am getting another car because my brother ruined the paint on mine but I am making him buy mine first. I love being in these moods since they don't last.
being satisfied with what you have is nice, but maybe you can learn a thing or two from greed
come on it is your ideal life can't you wish for a money generator or something
I could! But that would cause an inflation for the economy, I don't want to be responsible for that. It would backfire, too Always gotta be pragmatic even if I have Angelina Jolie as my wife.
I could! But that would cause an inflation for the economy, I don't want to be responsible for that. It would backfire, too Always gotta be pragmatic even if I have Angelina Jolie as my wife.
that's reasonable but it means your ideal life isn't gonna last for long
being satisfied with what you have is nice, but maybe you can learn a thing or two from greed
Perhaps I have had that and got tired of it...
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
that's because you stopped at greed & didn't go to the next level, if greed is the level where you collect & experience what life has to offer then the next level is contribution where you share that
that's because you stopped at greed & didn't go to the next level, if greed is the level where you collect & experience what life has to offer then the next level is contribution where you share that
I share. What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, if I can get my hands on it.
I really do share.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I share. What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, if I can get my hands on it.
I really do share.
see you misunderstand sharing , sharing means what's yours is mine so just hand over everything you have & experience the joy of sharing (you can keep your debts to yourself though, they aren't shareable )
After I finish my schooling, I get a really good job in Europe where I can study people all day and feel fulfilled. I work with an awesome team that is just as passionate and supportive as me. I have a nice little home in a small neighbourhood with a small backyard. It’s like a suburb right outside a city in a small town. It’s two story with three bedrooms. Not too big but not too small. I also have a hot tub in the back. I end up meeting my husband who I also consider my best friend and partner in life. We both genuinely care and love each other from the bottom of our hearts. We get eloped at a government house and have a small ceremony between us, the priest or official, and the photographer. We have a honeymoon out somewhere warm for two weeks. We both have a small circle of friends that we care about and help out. We have one cute little boy with the most beautiful brown eyes and the sweetest personality. Just a little fighter that cares about others and helping them. We would also either have some love birds, ducks, a dog, or all three. We would also have enough money to treat ourselves when we can and visit spas or sauna together. I would also be able to spend a lot of time with my son and he would not have to struggle with anxiety and depression. He would just grow up to be a happy and loved adult that can take on the world. My husband and I would just travel and be goofy and loving with each other with lots of passion. I would get to fly back to Canada every so often to see my family. But, in this ideal, I know I found my place in life, my people, my home
I would own a penthouse in manhattan and a mansion in the Hollywood Hills. I am rich and famous. I have made movies and sold some novels that became movies.
I am a household name, I get recognized all the time. I meet, know, and befriend the rich and powerful.
I have the money and the influence to do literally any creative project I want to do, and I do.
I don't want a superpower, I have all the freedom I want to do whatever I like.
I simply want my health to never fail me until right at the end when it's my time, and I die in my sleep.
Even more, ideally, I am an immortal elf prince who is supposed to inherit a magical kingdom when they come of age. I live a life of adventure and meet a ragtag group of friends along the way. I meet many lovers and friends as I spend centuries adventuring.
Eventually, I decide to settle down and allow my father to step down from the throne. I take the helm and look over the land keeping it safe from existential threats until I decide to take my leave into the shadowlands for one final journey.
The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.
The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".
I'd be an an author writing successful romance and fantasy novels and painting and drawing in my free time. My work would get made into a movie. Yes, I'd be famous. I'd also have a significant other who's perfect for me. We'd live together, have the same group of close friends but still hang out separately sometimes. I'd never have to worry about my family members back home. I'd also be able to help all the children in the world who are suffering and put an end to it.
Last edited by Aquamarine; 08-29-2021 at 02:24 AM.