Do male SLIs find it okay to make out with someone they do not like?
A question for male SLIs / ISTp men
Do male SLIs find it okay to make out with someone they do not like?
Last edited by Pastel; 08-29-2017 at 01:33 PM.
Wow this is a cool question! Would be very interesting to know. @AbZero probably has a good & short take on it, perhaps he wants to contribute.
I try to map it out on my own so that could help you, I imagined several parameters to be important here.
- First and foremost, it depends on the SLI's individual threshold for a detached hookup - in general I'd say they aren't inclined to be capricious. Especially sinceis a non-flexible and less developed area, much dependent on mutuality and proactive engagement. SLI without ethical mobilizing may even repel the person wanting to hook up with them through their no-nonsense no-expenditures no-drama approach. Few people see past that since it gives an apathetic, "cool" impression. Surely this could appeal to someone, but for a first meeting? Forget it. Logical Introverts are the toughest, most confused & oblivious sexual cases of the socion. Only someone who takes that as a challenge and charms the living hell out of them can possibly get close to them breaking the logics wall. And by that time, SLI likes the person already, otherwise they'd think it's all of no use. If someone got an XLI to make out with them they really mean it
And that should necessarily transfer to the SLI otherwise there'd be no purpose.
- If their counterpart likes them but SLI leaves that unrequited, I don't think they'll do anything out of mercy or sympathy. They'd likely feel like they took advantage of the other person which doesn't match well with their sense of fairness and morale.
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is the boundary, SLI has no idea about how to convey their interest in an emotionally engaging manner in the first place, so a scenario like this might not even occur. The only case would be them getting practically dragged into an intimate situation where they find themselves at ease and just go along with it because it's pleasant and needed. But in the SLI's brain that already equals liking the person. If they feel harmonious with another, it would be a discrepancy if they disliked or hated them, which would disturb the equilibrium.
- Weak intuition causes them to have anxieties around consequences and potential, so they would rather err on the side of security, especially when their
- SLI-Si might be led by their gut/ drive, can go after what they desire, so they are likelier to seek out an encounter they might not entirely resonate with just to satisfy needs. But there IS a big incentive for them to care about the person so they may be conflicted in terms of what their senses tell them while their heart goes into another direction. SLI-Te is entirely lacking confidence, the necessary social exposure, and interpersonal handling, so without any clue of established, sympathetic attraction you can bet no sexual activity got into motion even if SLI-Te's techniques are a hidden treasure.
- SLI has great erotic interest and prowess but unlike plenty ofegos, they won't show it off directly. They may want to implement and practice for recreation in privacy - this is the Delta spirit of sex - but again
- SEI would be muuuch muuuch better at that. They already would circumvent not liking the person simply because the atmosphere is good temporarily! No hard feelings or issues, SEI is the master of indulgences like this. My SEI friend told me she'd just follow her hormones and adrenaline.
- I certainly am not an expert in this realm but their 4Dwould likely conclude it would make no sense whatsoever. And
brings the "why bother with such passions?" factor.
- SLI E9s might go with the flow without really asserting their liking, SLI 6 might get paranoid with fear because of their "attach or not?" worries, SLI 5 is too much in their head to cut to emotional and physical needs right away. Gut > head center. The latter will approach intimacy with a predetermined rationale to prevent mishaps, a partner they don't like might be one criterion that keeps them from interacting. SLI 5 especially stays in analysis paralysis, highly dislikes intrusions by default. Now add a person they feel nothing for on top of that - this won't work. Most SLIs are sixes who might be too concerned with stability and safety, and are in urgent need of guidance when it comes to feelings, so they'd refrain from doing anything when they are with someone they don't trust.
- SX/SP is the most likely ISTp stacking to do something like that out of sheer desperation and craving. SP/SX typically have their guard up and have a healthy sense of SX that won't overdo anything, SP/SO is insecure around intimacy, they are hard to get to and won't be making out without anything that's halfway settled like SP/SX.
^ @Chae, this is brilliant and I agree with every bit of it, having lived with an SLI father, an SLI ex-wife, and an SLI son.
IME, SLI's do not show a lot of overt emotion, regardless of what they might feel. My father was a brick, my ex-wife sometimes resembled Clint Eastwood, and I can't get my son to date, even though I'm sure he likes girls. I introduced him to my IEE bookkeeper, and he suddenly remembered he had to be somewhere else immediately.
Hi Chae, thank you for your help!
Originally Posted by pasteldandelions
Hi Chae, thank you for your help!No problem, ask when there's more!
An SLI would not be the type to do that generally, due to Fi mobilizing and Fe vulnerable.
Hm, unless they're prostitutes I don't see why any type should do that...
Last edited by ooo; 08-30-2017 at 07:32 AM.
@hybris theory
!
Sorry to hear that.
But, children? Teens, I guess...
Anyway, your story is shocking but contrary of what some may like to think, I dont see why males SLI would be less indecent than indecent average guys of other types. There could be ppl like that of every type guess
Last edited by Kiba; 08-31-2017 at 02:32 AM. Reason: quote
I shouldn't have said thatBut I wanted to point out the same, I don't think it all comes down to types. People lie and are scumbags, or amazing pieces of cake, loving and all...despite of types..
Uhm, yeah they were teens, raging from 12 to all ages actually, there have been many more lol... I'd think guy was a SLI but he was on the verge of LSI too.
My mum was the best SLI I know anyway, she never cheated anyone.
..that's sick.I shouldn't have said that
Uhm, yeah they were teens, raging from 12 to all ages actually, there have been many more lol... I'd think guy was a SLI but he was on the verge of LSI too.
I don't think is a common trait for SLIs to cheat on their partners, but as I said, there are ppl like that in every stype.
I've read on Stratiyevskaya material about SLI cheaters and experiences (not about cheating but equally disgusting) on forums. However, when being disgusting like that, SLIs tend to be honest with partners more often than not.
Anyway, to answer to OP, no, I don't think that SLIs would make out with someone that they don't like or want...(unless they were stoned or something, maybe).
Last edited by Kiba; 08-31-2017 at 03:14 AM.
thx for the comprehension sweetie <3
I think that ISTp types have a really hard time with expressing their feelings, because they themselves have an hard time to understand them, and they see as foreign everything that comes to unsettle their stoic mood. So, don't trust what they say about their feelings too much... but of course, listen to him when he sets boundaries, or you'll appear clingy and that's not something they like. I think the best way to get ISTPs attention is to keep around as friends as much as possible, they like to get so cozy with their beloveds as if they're best friends... so I think the guy is as well sending rather mixed signals...
Hello dear deer! Aw such a playboy we have here
Then, she's only a good friend, that he kissed. lolHello!
Hmm, but what if the ISTp in question actually keeps on maintaining to the girl he kissed, that she is only a good friend, that he had already decided from the start they could only be friends, and that that was likely to continue into the future as well?
And also... The ISTp appeared emotionally irritated before making out (when he became warmer), but then went back to being cold towards that girl after that.
What would that mean?
Sometimes Fi types want to seek the "hidden meaning" for things that really don't have it.
If he says that the girl is just a friend and he has decided that, there is no reason for not believe in his words ime. Have into account that SLIs are logical and our communication is cold blooded, there is not so much room for overflowing feelings or lies, also its not like we would be confused by our emotions or change opinion about stuff...we are not really emotional and feels and attraction dont tend to change over time even if our actions change. In physical aspects, young ppl can be playful or doing stuff like that just for the experience, at that point, feelers could start to romanticize an action that didnt had that kind of motivation originally. That said, I kissed ppl that I didnt like or felt attracted to when teen specially in parties. As an adult I never did or would do that (and specially not in my current circumstances). So at this point I would just say that liking someone or wanting someone for doing certain stuff doesnt mean having romantic feels for the person, you know what I mean. There was this istp who dated an infp girl and dumped her (for other girl), but he came back to ask for sex.lol, ofc she said no. So, romantic interest not always equate to sexual stuff. I sense that your question is directed towards know if he have a real romantic interest in the person and the answer imo is no, and probably never will .
The cold behavior seems because he really mean what he said, and he could be noticing a change in behavior in the girl. Seems like he just want to be clear and make sure that he's not giving signal of interest.
Finally, If I were the girl, I wouldn't go in the sexual direction with the guy and wouldn't pursuing him romantically either. I don't think that the things will be really favorable for her in those instances. I would forget the matter and keep him just as a good friend.
Last edited by Kiba; 08-31-2017 at 03:13 PM.
Deer <3 don't despair the sea is full of fishes! I like your honesty a lot, you have to learn to appreciate who you are and love that though! You can't get all the fishes thinking that there are better mermaids around! Yo! Deer, I think all is possible if you want something, but first you should consider what is that you really want, and no talking about romantic relationships here. Take the time to treat yourself first; and keep a friendly relationship with SLI guy only if that makes you feel fine... that is, if you don't feel too jealous and possessive of him, or you'd end up regretting that.. best of luck dear
Thank you sooo much Hybris Theory! ^^
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