read spoiler before you proceed
their guilt complex graces them with the ability to weave eloquent "woe is me" vents where they star as the victim in yet another grim fairy-tale wherein they hurt yet another person with their evasiveness, passive aggression, and general obliviousness to anyone's feelings except their own. they'll never tell you that you've hurt them (not directly, at least) but, mark my words, they'll tell everyone else. it'll go through the grapevine and back again before it ever gets to you, but please don't call them out, not unless you wanna hear them berate themselves for hours on end in a petty attempt to guilt-trip you out of guilt-tripping them. "i'm terrible!" *shakes EII translator* "you're terrible!" that's their cue to bless you with their self-righteous silent treatment, or, if they're feeling frisky, their infamous disappearing act. maybe even a guilt-inducing "adios" to rub salt in the wound. your best bet in keeping them around is to list all your obscure accomplishments with regards to your education, your career, and how well you write, sing, dance, draw, and/or paint.
to this day, scientists are
still stumped as to how Fi-leads with the aid Ne-creative & Ni-demonstrative (which translates into god-tier levels of foresight and empathy, didn't ya know?) can't foresee the long-term consequences of poking and prodding around the hearts of the misunderstood and downtrodden, extracting their innermost pains and struggles, fleshing them out, performing autopsies, alleviating only a fraction of the pain before "selflessly" leaving them behind to deal with their tear-stained emotionally defiled corpses, which inevitably results in you and everyone else fiending for the EII's "bottomless pit of empathy". the aftermath of this heartbreak is amplified if the EII in question has taken it upon themselves to tug at your heartstrings a little bit (surprise, surprise - they've formed yet another "crush") before their martyrdom kicks in and they've decided that you deserve better. it's not that they've lost interest, it's not that they've spotted a new "shiny" - of course not, it's that you deserve better. it's for the Greater Good.
they forget to fulfill one of their promises to you? Greater Good.
they break a vase in a fit of misdirected anger? Greater Good.
you see that dead dog in the corner over there? you guessed it. Greater Good.
it's easy to view them as morally immaculate beings until you realize their brand of "morality" is merely a byproduct of being a doormat with a strong aversion to any form of direct communication. "fuck you" is blatantly offensive, but how do you articulate your hurt when the reason you're hurt is because you were left hanging by a sadomasochistic energy vampire with a lovely penchant for mental gymnastics and "selflessly" administering guilt-trips and silent treatments? that, my friends, is the cowardly man's "fuck you". don't let inaction fool you. they're not opting out of conflict between two loved ones because they love them both "truly, deeply, unconditionally", it's self-preservation at its finest, they just don't want you to hate them, but it's not so easy to point out faults in a spineless wallflower who doesn't do anything with their life except romanticize and decay with indecision.