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Thread: ISFj and Initiating Conversation

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    Default ISFj and Initiating Conversation

    Is it uncharacteristic of ISFjs to initiate conversation? I know of a person, which feels like duality, who initiated verbal contact. Overall, she seems introverted though but has the ability to initiate verbal interaction with random people.

    How I met this person:

    A random female came up to me and asked, "Is your name <my name>."
    She had asked about me and acquired my name from her girlfriends, who know me.

    I said, "Yes", and walked away. She caught me off guard and my reaction was to avoid.

    Afterwards I realized that she was attractive and nice, I began to place myself in her area and initiate conversation.


    Is this not an ISFj thing to do? Or because of the 'aggressor', it can be a characteristic?

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    The ability to initiate a conversation has more to do with upbringing and or self-confidence than it does type. Walking away and aggressiveness have a lot to do with upbringing and or self-confidence as well.....

    a.k.a. I/O

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    not terribly type related, although introverts usually do it a bit less
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I know an ESI-Se who can easily initiate conversation, easier than I can. ( only if they want to, or have a reason to)

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    Three years ago I was in my front yard and noticed an ESI working in the yard of the house across the street. I made some excuse to go over and talk to her and after about 45 minutes she suggested that we go out some time for a burger and beer “but no sex”. I thought WTF? Who mentioned sex?
    So I called her a few times to get a lunch date and she was busy for two years.

    Last year in July she was not busy and we went out and spent about eight hours hanging out and talking. After that date, she was too busy to go out for another year, despite my repeated text and phone invitations.

    Today a package showed up on my porch when it was threatening to rain. I’m in another state and won’t be back for days, so I called the ex to take in the package and she didn’t pick up. I called a neighbor to pick up the package and she didn’t pick up. I called the ESI and asked if she could take in the package. She said she could. I told her I’d pay her for an hour of her time because everything takes an hour. She said “True story.”

    She called me back to say she was on my front porch and I told her I’d put a check to her in the mail. She laughed and said I should do that every week. I said she’d have to actually do something for that money and she started to laugh again. Then she started chattering away, seemingly to keep me talking, but I had work to do so I just thanked her and hung up.

    Slow to start a conversation. Glacial to start a relationship. And then she’s full speed ahead.

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    I am generally very shy and withdrawn but if I like the person I will initiate. (not that often because I rarely like anybody ) Or its more like we both are initiating and coming together.

    Most people sense that I don't really like socializing and I'm bad at at it so they will leave me alone. SLEs/ILEs/SEEs and a few ESIs/EIEs/LSIs won't take that for an answer and keep trying to interact with me until I warm up and will ignore that and get past my shyness and horrible social anxiety themselves. That is the most appealing to me. Typical victim romantic style I guess. But if I am comfortable I am the one to press forward.

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    I don't see introversion as a barrier to initiating conversation (even if one is less inclined overall) and it might be characteristic for most ESIs, I dunno, but personally I need something specific to talk about or some excuse to be pushed together cuz it's hard to come up with a subject out of nowhere or randomly ad lib stuff. So my "aggression" begins with creating some pretext like a gathering with friends where we'll just end up talking, rather than walking up to strangers and saying hello. (I'm all about opposing the idea that we sit on our hands waiting for our extroverts to drag us out of a hole, though. Ive almost always done the asking out and stuff, even if talking to a stranger needs planning)

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    Yesterday I had lunch at Panera’s with a divorced male ESI e9 (and I’m still feeling normalized a day later, but that’s another story), and we were talking about our ex-wives and whom we should date again. I, of course, was steering him towards female LIE’s but cautioned him that they were very rare, so he’d have to figure out how to recognize them and would have to nail them down immediately before they went off exploring, never to return. I told him that LIE women are not that feminine; they are basically female versions of me, and look kind of hard and are all business. I showed him some pictures of two female LIE friends of mine, and he said “Yes, I see what you mean.”

    And of course, as we sat there, a single female LIE sat down two tables behind him and started watching me while she talked to someone on her phone and earbuds, and nursed her tea. I thought, “This is absolutely amazing.” and said, “Paul, there is a female Dual behind you. The woman in the blue shirt. Wait, don’t turn around. She’s getting up.”

    She stood up and walked past us to get something from a service station before returning to her seat. Paul smiled and said “My, she looks pretty hard.” in a tone of voice that indicated that that wasn’t a problem and he was mentally making a shopping list. “So when you go out in public, you must be looking at all these people and determining their types? How do you do that?”

    ”There is something called Visual Identification, where your personality flows out of your face and forms it in the process. Also, I’ve had four years since my divorce to practice comparing faces and test this theory, and I’m obsessed.”

    “Adam, what about that initial sexual attraction? You know, like some times you look at a woman and just say Wow, she’s really something. Where does that come in?”

    I paused, kind of embarrassed. “Uh, I’m not sure, to be honest. I’ve never had that reaction to a dual. I had a dual come over to my house and she was practically naked and I was just, like, ummm, let’s talk about art.” I sat there feeling stupid and wondered if there might be something wrong with me.
    ”Maybe it’s because Nature makes the primary interactions between duals to be about living a life, and not sex. I really don’t know.”

    I said, “In any case, now comes the hard part. You have to initiate the conversation with your dual because extroverts are not going to be able to see you. And I’m not sure how you can do that.”

    At this point, the female LIE got up and walked out to her car. Paul’s eyes followed her through the front windows.

    I grasped for straws and said ”Maybe you could go up to her and say “Is this seat taken?””

    Paul smiled and threw up his hands, imitating the theoretical female LIE object, and said “Get lost, get lost!”

    ”No, a LIE wouldn’t say that.”

    Paul then said smoothly and confidently “May I sit here? I feel like talking to someone”, and I realized how competent and comfortable he was with being an Aggressor.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-15-2019 at 01:28 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    I know an ESI-Se who can easily initiate conversation, easier than I can. ( only if they want to, or have a reason to)
    I find they often can, but don't want to.

    I interpret this as a result of low , seeing no possibilties in new people, or possibly even confusing potential with status/appearance in some cases. I find they can sometimes miss out on the right people, and in more rare cases, fall for people who are not suited to them, simply because of their incapacity to gauge people's potential (though they can judge people's actions morally, so they often don't get into too much trouble with the wrong people).

    Also, they feel more comfortable with their inner circle than with strangers I find, which is typical of gamma introverts.

    Also I agree with Rebelondeck that initiating conversation is not entirely type related.


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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    I was thinking low Ne in terms of not knowing what kind of random conversational topic a stranger might be interested in lol. But it's also said in some Russian description that ESIs are good at pulling derisive quips "out of their pocket," so you'd think it would go hand in hand, I dunno

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Who mentioned sex?
    Come on now, who are you kidding? She's Fi-lead, and you are a guy!
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Fi types just to want to mourn next to you. **not biased**
    Measuring you right now

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    Come on now, who are you kidding? She's Fi-lead, and you are a guy!
    Without previous experience, I assumed that her thinking process was just like mine; Measured, calculating, forecasting.

    I’ve come to see that it’s more of a “jump at the rabbit” thing, without too many further complications involved.

    I related her comment of “a burger, a beer, and no sex” to my long time ESI-Se buddy, and he said in a loud voice, “Yeeaah! Haw, haw. The sex can wait until tomorrow.”

    He actually said “Haw haw.” Then he asked me if she wanted to meet a really handsome guy (he meant himself here - it took me a minute to realize this) instead of a loser like me. Lol.

    SMH.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    So I called her a few times to get a lunch date and she was busy for two years.
    Funny sentence. You could be a writer. Jack London

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Three years ago I was in my front yard and noticed an ESI working in the yard of the house across the street. I made some excuse to go over and talk to her and after about 45 minutes she suggested that we go out some time for a burger and beer “but no sex”. I thought WTF? Who mentioned sex?
    So I called her a few times to get a lunch date and she was busy for two years.

    Last year in July she was not busy and we went out and spent about eight hours hanging out and talking. After that date, she was too busy to go out for another year, despite my repeated text and phone invitations.

    Today a package showed up on my porch when it was threatening to rain. I’m in another state and won’t be back for days, so I called the ex to take in the package and she didn’t pick up. I called a neighbor to pick up the package and she didn’t pick up. I called the ESI and asked if she could take in the package. She said she could. I told her I’d pay her for an hour of her time because everything takes an hour. She said “True story.”

    She called me back to say she was on my front porch and I told her I’d put a check to her in the mail. She laughed and said I should do that every week. I said she’d have to actually do something for that money and she started to laugh again. Then she started chattering away, seemingly to keep me talking, but I had work to do so I just thanked her and hung up.

    Slow to start a conversation. Glacial to start a relationship. And then she’s full speed ahead.
    Sounds like you were friendzoned early on.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Sounds like you were friendzoned early on.
    I think so, too.

    She's hot for SLI's, like her father, the dizzy chick. It's not a problem for me. I just want to spend a little time with her because I like her and she's fun to talk to, not give her the keys to the Jag.

    In any case, she's 42 years old and has never been married, never been in a long term relationship. What are the odds she's going to change for me? Personally, I'd say zero.

    Waiter, Next!
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-15-2019 at 11:48 PM.

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    It's difficult to gauge what could be the intent behind the "but no sex" statement, such a strange thing to say, even for an American . It could mean exactly what it meant, or the opposite, or it could be some kind of joke that didn't mean anything, impossible to tell without the tone and knowing the person.


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    I mean, if you're trying to get the message across that you just wanna be friends, then invite the person and add "as friends", or something along those lines. Why even mention sex if you're not thinking about it, lol? So contradictory.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    I mean, if you're trying to get the message across that you just wanna be friends, then invite the person and add "as friends", or something along those lines. Why even mention sex if you're not thinking about it, lol? So contradictory.
    OK, here is the best I can think of.

    She's ESI, so she's loaded with Fi and really likes my Te and admires my general situation in life. She and I spent eight very easy hours together one day. So, she likes me. Maybe more than she cares to admit.

    She can't see where things are going (low Ni), because the last thing she asked me, that day we went out, was what direction I think the world is going in? (I said it will be fine.) She bases all her decisions on previous experiences, and she can't decide if I'm like a "previous rat BF male" or some guy she should like.

    She's e6w7, so she lost faith in authority early on (she said her SLI father is lazy and has a terrible work ethic) and that includes all authority, including men in general, but at the same time, she wants to look up to some authority. But she doesn't trust male authorities. Note that she works for herself, not for a male boss. So she's going to have a push-pull relation to guys she likes. Close the distance and then run away.

    Her Imago is an SLI. She met my SLI son and said if he were a lot older, she could go for him. I said, "Go ahead. See how that works out." Her Imago is not an LIE. She doesn't know any LIE's, so she has NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE WITH THEM. So I might be interesting, but I'm also strange and a big scary unknown.

    Add this all up, and you get the fact that she likes me a lot but doesn't trust me and isn't sexually attracted to me so her Fi insisted that any invitation to go out to eat include a disclaimer that she doesn't like me enough to have sex with me. Remember, most women think that a guy just wants one thing from them. They have a hard time understanding that some guys might enjoy their company at an optimum distance that doesn't include the exchange of bodily fluids. Not that I'm against that, but I'm fine if she doesn't want to do that. I have several female friends that I don't want to sleep with.

    And that's why I think she said what she said.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-16-2019 at 12:17 AM.

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    She still could have said "just as friends " and it would have gotten the point across while being less awkward for both of you and wouldn't have brought a thought of the two of you having sex out into the air. And I'm sure she knew that. She said specifically what she said for a reason other than placing boundaries, I think, but I'm a little at a loss.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    She still could have said "just as friends " and it would have gotten the point across while being less awkward for both of you and wouldn't have brought a thought of the two of you having sex out into the air. And I'm sure she knew that. She said specifically what she said for a reason other than placing boundaries, I think, but I'm a little at a loss.
    What do you think that reason was?

    *EDIT*
    OK, one other fact about her which might be relevant or not: She takes care of people. That time she picked up a package for me on my porch, she was helping me out. She got very animated on the phone and kept trying to continue the conversation and actually sounded a bit breathless and silly.
    I would guess she likes to be in the superior position, and the more helpless the guy is, the better. Probably another reason why we’re not connecting.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-16-2019 at 03:21 AM.

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    @Adam Strange Most ESIs seem to want to rule the roost while their partner protects them from the outside; the roost can be a work or home environment. They can defend themselves but are not great at it so prefer that others do it for them. They tend to have little respect for defencelessness even though they themselves may act defenceless to get what they want. They will certainly resent being thought of as inferior even though they may often think of themselves as such. They like strength that's not directed toward them - confrontation is certainly not their thing even though they have been known to blow up and attack out of the blue......

    a.k.a. I/O

    EDIT: Many have marital problems when their spouses spend more time home like in retirement, especially if they feel that their rule is being encroached upon.....
    Last edited by Rebelondeck; 10-16-2019 at 05:22 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    @Adam Strange Most ESIs seem to want to rule the roost while their partner protects them from the outside; the roost can be a work or home environment. They can defend themselves but are not great at it so prefer that others do it for them. They tend to have little respect for defencelessness even though they themselves may act defenceless to get what they want. They will certainly resent being thought of as inferior even though they may often think of themselves as such. They like strength that's not directed toward them - confrontation is certainly not their thing even though they have been known to blow up and attack out of the blue......

    a.k.a. I/O

    EDIT: Many have marital problems when their spouses spend more time home like in retirement, especially if they feel that their rule is being encroached upon.....
    Thanks, @Rebelondeck. Insightful as always.

    I happen to agree with everything you said, except the "acting defenseless" part. I find that ESI's are usually neutral to strangers, cautiously friendly to people they know, but can get in little digs at people they don't like, and can completely stonewall people if they feel that they are in a defensible position. Their basic orientation is always entirely personal rather than impartially global.

    I've noticed that ESI's tend to undervalue themselves, but openly resist the idea that they might be inferior. It's kind of weird to me. Mostly, I just ignore this behavior and value them for their strong points.

    As for admiring strength, I think ESI's prefer to have a strong public face to present to, and "run interference" (American football term) against, the world, and that usually takes the form of LIE's, but other than that, they do just fine within their realms. They can be quite assertive and intimidating when they feel they are right.
    But I do know one ILI university department head with a not-very-smart ESI secretary, and she basically runs him where ever she wants, but when he has to deliver bad news to someone, he has her come along as backup. It's kind of pathetic, to be honest. The guy should man up.

    As for liking strength not directed at them, I'm reminded of @sbbds's comments about her hating to be chased. ESI's might like to have someone clear the way for them to have a prosperous, secure life, or like someone who can build a stable fort against the unpredictable outside world in which they can live, but I get the strong impression that they don't like to be Se pressured to do things.

    The times when ESI's have momentarily fallen in love with me were when I was speaking to a group, laying out a plan for the future that included everyone. This isn't strength so much as it is leading a group to a mutually profitable goal through clearly directed foresight. I'm pretty sure that if I told one of them to jump at that moment, they'd still tell me to fuck off.

    With regard to retiring to an ESI-controlled compound, that's not a problem for me. I don't plan to retire, and I have several places other than home where I can spend my time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    OK, here is the best I can think of.

    She's ESI, so she's loaded with Fi and really likes my Te and admires my general situation in life. She and I spent eight very easy hours together one day. So, she likes me. Maybe more than she cares to admit.

    She can't see where things are going (low Ni), because the last thing she asked me, that day we went out, was what direction I think the world is going in? (I said it will be fine.) She bases all her decisions on previous experiences, and she can't decide if I'm like a "previous rat BF male" or some guy she should like.

    She's e6w7, so she lost faith in authority early on (she said her SLI father is lazy and has a terrible work ethic) and that includes all authority, including men in general, but at the same time, she wants to look up to some authority. But she doesn't trust male authorities. Note that she works for herself, not for a male boss. So she's going to have a push-pull relation to guys she likes. Close the distance and then run away.

    Her Imago is an SLI. She met my SLI son and said if he were a lot older, she could go for him. I said, "Go ahead. See how that works out." Her Imago is not an LIE. She doesn't know any LIE's, so she has NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE WITH THEM. So I might be interesting, but I'm also strange and a big scary unknown.

    Add this all up, and you get the fact that she likes me a lot but doesn't trust me and isn't sexually attracted to me so her Fi insisted that any invitation to go out to eat include a disclaimer that she doesn't like me enough to have sex with me. Remember, most women think that a guy just wants one thing from them. They have a hard time understanding that some guys might enjoy their company at an optimum distance that doesn't include the exchange of bodily fluids. Not that I'm against that, but I'm fine if she doesn't want to do that. I have several female friends that I don't want to sleep with.

    And that's why I think she said what she said.
    Maybe she is an IxE.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    ......except the "acting defenseless" part......... .
    I did mean "acting" - them saying something like "You're so much better at that than me, would you do it for me...." when (along with all confident Ijs) they'll actually never acknowledge to themselves that you could ever be better.....

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    She still could have said "just as friends " and it would have gotten the point across while being less awkward for both of you and wouldn't have brought a thought of the two of you having sex out into the air. And I'm sure she knew that. She said specifically what she said for a reason other than placing boundaries, I think, but I'm a little at a loss.
    My first thought was it sounded a bit Fi polr for her to say that outright unless he did bring up sex at some point before? Then he mentioned she said she would go for his son if he was older which also sounded like F is not her strength. Not specifically Fi polr even if my first thought. Like who says that to a guy they are dating, even if you are thinking it? I am a bit at a loss too. Maybe an E7 or EP is more likely to blurt that out. Idk. :/

    I am only basing this on the few ESI I know well. Just doesn't seem their style but they do not represent all ESI.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Thank you @Aylen, as a matter of course I just take typings of random people as stated, but you have a point. Dating or not, I can't imagine telling any man that I'd date his son if he was older. I'd keep that shit to myself. It's so weird eheh.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    My first thought was it sounded a bit Fi polr for her to say that outright unless he did bring up sex at some point before?
    I did not mention sex at all, not close, not implied. Other than the fact that I was goofing around with her and teasing her a bit (about how she tells people that no one knows what she's thinking, since many ESI's say that. Her comment about "no sex" took me entirely by surprise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Then he mentioned she said she would go for his son if he was older which also sounded like F is not her strength.
    She said that later. Like, a year later.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Not specifically Fi polr even if my first thought. Like who says that to a guy they are dating, even if you are thinking it? I am a bit at a loss too. Maybe an E7 or EP is more likely to blurt that out. Idk. :/
    We weren't dating. At least, not in the conventional sense. She agreed to have lunch with me once, then we went to a park by the river to continue the convo, then we went to my house to continue the convo, and then she left. Hardly dating. More like a very extended lunch. She did clean herself up and looked pretty good, though. She looks almost exactly like Peggy Lee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uTcw_A80Bo
    And yeah, she might not be an e6. She's so driven to help, maybe she has an e2 in there somewhere.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I am only basing this on the few ESI I know well. Just doesn't seem their style but they do not represent all ESI.
    I think she just blurted it out. Let's ask @ashlesha if she's ever said anything that she immediately recognized as oversharing.

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    I have, especially after being injured in the noggin lol, but historically Im more inclined to undershare really (internet blabbing aside). Not going to argue about the type of someone I never saw/heard/met though, lol.

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I did not mention sex at all, not close, not implied. Other than the fact that I was goofing around with her and teasing her a bit (about how she tells people that no one knows what she's thinking, since many ESI's say that. Her comment about "no sex" took me entirely by surprise.

    She said that later. Like, a year later.

    We weren't dating. At least, not in the conventional sense. She agreed to have lunch with me once, then we went to a park by the river to continue the convo, then we went to my house to continue the convo, and then she left. Hardly dating. More like a very extended lunch. She did clean herself up and looked pretty good, though. She looks almost exactly like Peggy Lee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uTcw_A80Bo
    And yeah, she might not be an e6. She's so driven to help, maybe she has an e2 in there somewhere.


    I think she just blurted it out. Let's ask @ashlesha if she's ever said anything that she immediately recognized as oversharing.
    You know her and I don't. Perhaps take a look at EP types too. The way she ghosted or put you off for years just made me think EP. Introverts can do that too though but they are more likely to never take you up on the date and avoid you if they don't want to say "no" outright. The comments about no sex (especially since you never brought that up) and your kid made me think weak F and/or EP.
    Three years ago I was in my front yard and noticed an ESI working in the yard of the house across the street. I made some excuse to go over and talk to her and after about 45 minutes she suggested that we go out some time for a burger and beer “but no sex”. I thought WTF? Who mentioned sex?
    So I called her a few times to get a lunch date and she was busy for two years.


    Last year in July she was not busy and we went out and spent about eight hours hanging out and talking. After that date, she was too busy to go out for another year, despite my repeated text and phone invitations.
    She's ESI, so she's loaded with Fi and really likes my Te and admires my general situation in life. She and I spent eight very easy hours together one day. So, she likes me. Maybe more than she cares to admit.


    She can't see where things are going (low Ni), because the last thing she asked me, that day we went out, was what direction I think the world is going in? (I said it will be fine.) She bases all her decisions on previous experiences, and she can't decide if I'm like a "previous rat BF male" or some guy she should like.

    I think most women usually know if you are a "yes" or a "no" rather quickly. I don't think what is going on here is because of weak N. Why wouldn't an ESI not know how she feels about you? That is supposed to be one of their strengths. Just some things to consider. She might be one.

    Maybe you can share what loaded with Fi looks like to you so I can understand better?

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  31. #31
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    @Aylen, I agree with the idea that most women know in a few seconds whether or not they are interested. I probably knew with her, too, and decided that she's nice but not someone I'd split my life with. But the truth is, I do enjoy her company. She's easy to be with and is lots of fun.

    But yeah, putting me off for so long is a pretty clear "No" indicator. Lol.

    As for sharing what Fi looks like, that is best done with pictures, and I can't do that right now. Instead, I will just say that EII-Fi's and ESI-Fi's have a lot of it, and I usually have to look harder for it in ESI-Se's but sometimes it just comes through like opening a window, and in SEE's, it is hidden from their faces but still there in their actions.

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Aylen, I agree with the idea that most women know in a few seconds whether or not they are interested. I probably knew with her, too, and decided that she's nice but not someone I'd split my life with. But the truth is, I do enjoy her company. She's easy to be with and is lots of fun.

    But yeah, putting me off for so long is a pretty clear "No" indicator. Lol.

    As for sharing what Fi looks like, that is best done with pictures, and I can't do that right now. Instead, I will just say that EII-Fi's and ESI-Fi's have a lot of it, and I usually have to look harder for it in ESI-Se's, and in SEE's, it is hidden but still there.
    I don't mean what it looks like visually. I mean how do you notice loads of Fi in the little things they say and do? You don't have to answer right now, or ever. If you want to put it into words someday I would be happy to read it.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I don't mean what it looks like visually. I mean how do you notice loads of Fi in the little things they say and do? You don't have to answer right now, or ever. If you want to put it into words someday I would be happy to read it.
    I'll give that some thought. It's kind of tough to describe, because Fi is like a submarine. Very much there beneath the surface, but you can't see it at all, usually.

    The LSI whom I was seeing valued Fe but every once in a while, she'd do genuine Fi (it's her Role function). It broke my heart every time she did this, because it just showed me what I wasn't getting regularly.

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