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Thread: So, How to date a dual and do I have one or is duality a myth?

  1. #41
    Honorary Ballsack
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    1) find a dual
    2) learn to date a dual
    3) learn to duel a dual

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    Its always the same story: duality exists, but only if youre on the same page with everything else. Aka, duality doesnt really do anything, because apparently other factors are more important. So why even bother if duality can only manifest itself correctly when all other needs are met. Does it even exist on its own then, or is the "joy" and "energizing" and all that shit simply a product of love of a person with whom you are on the same page with

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I've had relationships which were primarily sexual, but they didn't last. With LTR's, it has been friendship first.

    One weird thing (to keep this thread on-topic) is that, while I like talking and spending time with my duals, I don't find them instantly hot the way I do Mirage partners. This reaction might be specific to me, since I haven't read about it anywhere else. I've met some incredibly, objectively hot female duals, and I kind of do not connect their hotness to a desire for action the way I do with Mirage types. I have a more "I like you. I think we could get along" reaction to duals.



    I'd like to hear from other LIE's about this, to see if their reactions are the same. I could explain my approach by saying that I'm subconsciously anticipating that ESI's don't want to be desired for their beauty alone, since that can change, but I might be stretching things here to account for some unfortunate bending of my mental twigs.
    yeah lsi women are sexy and they are also usually quite forward...

    they usually have completely different circle of friends and expectations about life though.

    I also have many LSI male friends. We usually do sports or Se-related activities together. But I can´t hang out with their friends, and they can´t easily hang out with mine.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  4. #44
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrows View Post
    Conflict are always the same. E3 or E8 LIE with SEI E9. I know of 3 couples like this IRL. The SEI is always a E9.
    You might have mistyped them and they are maybe actually duals.
    A true sense-perception certainly exists, but it always looks as though objects were not so much forcing their way into the subject in their own right as that the subject were seeing things quite differently, or saw quite other things than the rest of mankind. As a matter of fact, the subject perceives the same things as everybody else, only, he never stops at the purely objective effect, but concerns himself with the subjective perception released by the objective stimulus.
    (Jung on Si)

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrows View Post
    As if dating isn't hard enough already!
    I would stimulate the groin area. Your dual should respond favourably to that.

  6. #46
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    I've been platonically dating an ESI Dual for several months now. We've gone out to eat and gone on short day trips but she's been holding me at arm's length.
    Our dating schedule started out as one date every six weeks, then four weeks, then three, and on our last date, she wanted to go out again a week later, but then she cancelled at the last minute, "because she had to work" on a weekend.

    Yesterday, my LSE buddy called me to say hi.
    "How's your love life, guy?", he said, brightly.
    "About the same. Nothing's changed."
    "I just called to check up on you. I saw a different car in your driveway a few days ago. It was there overnight."

    Lol. This guy needs to get a life.

    "That was a rental van. I got it to move a saw I bought, and I returned it yesterday.
    "I actually had a date scheduled with this woman I'm seeing, but she cancelled at the last minute."

    "Oh." He sounded crestfallen, like the world had ended. "Well, there are more girls out there. You'll find one."

    "I'm not worried. I'm going to let this one sit for a while and think about it. We've been having these eight-hour dates on the weekend, and I'm pretty sure she's Dualized whether she knows it or not. I'm just going to wait for her to realize that she misses me."

    "What?" My LSE buddy couldn't believe it. In that one word, he made it clear that he thinks that she's gone and I'm delusional. Well, there is a possibility that he's right, to be honest. But instead of going there, I said
    "Yeah. We've been on eight hour dates, Don! Duality works like that. Two people don't think that they have anything in common, then after they spend enough time together and then are apart, they start to realize that they miss the other person."

    "Uh huh." Long, long pause. Then, "Hey, do you still have those transistor numbers I need to buy? I can't seem to find your email."

    "Yeah, I'll text them to you."

    And I'll hope that I'm right and that she'll call or text for another date. Lol. We'll see.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-26-2021 at 03:43 PM.

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    Well, I might have met one. He seems pretty shy for an SLE though. A bit SLI-ish. I think there needs to be more alcohol involved on our outings, for our personalities to come out..He seems alright, we are just friends atm. However, there is another dual that looks interesting too. Hm.

    Compared to other dates I’ve had with duals it’s a lot better
    Last edited by Bethany; 05-03-2021 at 04:46 PM.

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    So I had a bit of a sleepless night last night, but I had some thoughts I wanted to share. I’ve met up with a dual a couple of times recently and can’t tell if I like him. What came to me whilst lying awake, comparing the dual to the last person I liked..well I don’t know if the dual resembles my ‘imago’ enough (imago=someone like my dad). It’s a psychological theory that we are attracted to people like the parent of opposite sex, for security seeking reasons or something.

    And then it suddenly came to me that I spoke to a guy on an app a few months ago (who I think is a dual) and I think I prefer him. I know I haven’t met him but well, I want to message him again. He has dark hair and eyes like guys I often go for, and there is something soulful and cheeky about his look. Like my dad, at his best. Maybe this imago stuff is important.
    Last edited by Bethany; 05-07-2021 at 07:05 AM.

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    I think that Imago stuff is very important. The LSIs that I have dated both looked like my LSE mother when I was very young. Slender and short dark hair. I just have this magnetic attraction to women like this.

    I’m currently dating a Dual who has long brown hair and she’s attractive, but intellectually so, not viscerally so.

    My new hair cutter is a female LSI. Slender and dark-haired and single and unsuitable in every way that my two previous LSI GFs were, plus some, and I tell myself that I’m not going to go there in the slightest respect and yet I find myself looking at her, thinking No but feeling Yes, and I thank god I’m not entirely stupid.

    Imago counts for a lot. It was one of the first layers of stone put down when the foundation was built, so it’s pretty important in determining how the building will go. But it’s not everything. It’s not fate, or necessarily even a good idea.

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    My mind’s going round in circles. Maybe, maybe I am simply comparing this current dual dude to the last guy I liked too much. Or he just wasn’t at his best the second time I saw him. Or maybe his look is just a bit different to what I go for. Yeah I should probably see him again. The first time I met him was years ago, in a club. He tried to dance with me, and I said no. (I didn’t want to hook up with anyone at the time, but I did sort of think..he seems ok though). So, there was some attraction. Then I got back in touch with him recently. Similarly to what you say @Adam Strange, there is possibly a good intellectual connection- we both like the same music so that’s quite a good thing and could be really fun to enjoy that together. Maybe there are more layers to peel..hmm

    thank you guys, it means a lot to get input on this.

    I also recently ENDED correspondence with the guy I used to like so I am probably still letting go of that a bit
    Last edited by Bethany; 05-07-2021 at 04:42 PM.

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    Yeah none of the guys I’ve liked a lot in the past were right for me, it’s true. Maybe they were too much of an ‘ideal’ based on imago or were similar to me.

    Maybe gut feeling is not everything..

    He seems very much like a Creative subtype at least.
    Last edited by Bethany; 05-07-2021 at 04:42 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Imago counts for a lot. It was one of the first layers of stone put down when the foundation was built, so it’s pretty important in determining how the building will go. But it’s not everything. It’s not fate, or necessarily even a good idea.
    Uh huh. It’s complex I guess!

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    @Bethany, Re: Music: For reference, Gazelle from Zootopia is clearly IEI. Her Tiger dancers, of course, are SLE.

    https://imgur.com/a/OXtq491


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efsXt-H5t-0

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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    I thought the imago was more psychological than physical? Both my parents are Indian but I have been mostly attracted to white guys...

    but I don’t know...my type seems to vary in many ways esp. concerning physical features, socionics types etc. I don’t think I see traits of my father in them in any substantial way (aside from traits that anyone could have like being quiet or introverted). Eh...yeah. I guess I don’t approach the imago thing from that POV (that there’s some impression of your parent in people you like).
    I just realised that the one dual I really really liked back at uni was E7 (a good E7). I’m more familiar with 7s than 8s (siblings are 7s) and this new guy is an 8 so I guess that’s a bit of getting used to.

    Hm I’m not sure how the imago works. Maybe it’s a mix of familiarity but also reminding you of yourself somehow.

    Also I suppose you don’t want them to remind you too much of your parents. (Defo not too like my mum, sorry mum lol)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Bethany, Re: Music: For reference, Gazelle from Zootopia is clearly IEI. Her Tiger dancers, of course, are SLE.

    https://imgur.com/a/OXtq491


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efsXt-H5t-0
    I can see the resemblance... I always say that I can only dance good when the music’s good

    Also, SLE seem to find my lack of music knowledge funny. I just can’t hide it in front of them.

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    Yep I am most attracted to Cs, not always but often. But not the right Cs. There have only really been a couple of Estps I was physically attracted to..they were all e7 actually. The current guy at least has nice C eyes..


    Funnily, a really cute SLE-H I met once actually resembles the SEI-C I liked recently. Same smile. Same smile as my SEE brother too. We’re all just mirrors of each other lol.

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    I've mainly been attracted to Hs but honestly can work with anyone on the CH axis. DN on the other hand is just stressful to deal with.

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