What's your favorite instinct stacking?

[Chae]

About the cold/warm topic - the fervor of SO/SP and SP/SO just comes out differently in other areas yes. SX practices are eschewed in an unconscious or insecure way. For instance, when you're out there talking for/to the people and sparking a movement like MLK (SO/SP), you have no time, capacity, and nerve for dim light chamber passions with a spouse. You'd rather rest and recharge to regain strength when you come home (SP). So it's the neglect and absolutely essential use of secondary SP or SO (for SP/SO) that can drive SX stackings nuts when involved with sexual lasts.

What I would mention is that SP isn't entirely unimportant in intimacy. While SX generates the chemistry, charisma, and all the mating efforts or skills, self-preservation is still reproduction and making sure one's body feels attended to. No doubt SP/SO can accommodate in many erotic ways, especially as a sensing type. There's quite an earthy appeal in that for romance and lust, while in friendships they can show the utmost care that SX could never demonstrate as the latter will look to get under another person's skin instead. SX can backfire very quickly while SP may really make it work. Combined with the social instinct that looks for the intent in another, it blends quite nicely. That is to say, SO/SP and SP/SO don't really play games which can be very enjoyable.

[dot]

In this post they described so/sx this way:

so/sx - The World of Humans - multichannel communication and attraction, the festival of the four corners of the earth

and

So/sx Human realm: humans suffer from hunger, thirst, heat, cold, separation from friends, being attacked by enemies, not getting what they want, and getting what they don't want. They also suffer from the general sufferings of birth, old age, sickness and death. Yet the human realm is considered to be the most suitable realm for practicing the dharma, because humans are not completely distracted by pleasure (like the gods or demi-gods) or by pain and suffering (like the beings in the lower realms).

I also think that as @Chae mentioned the so/sx stacking is the most relatable.. we basically connect all the stackings with each other and appear the most 'human' in the way we approach life. I find it interesting how they said that 'humans' (here representating the so/sx stacking) are the most suitable to practice the dharma because they aren't distracted by the things the other stackings are.

[Olimpia]

I don't find that I am the most relatable, but I am also a Type 4, so nvm.

[Tonatiuh]

sp/sx 4

[Olimpia]

sp/sx 4

That's like half of all members.

P.S: I am being facetious if you can't tell... But seriously, a lot of people on here are Sp/Sx and 4 fix.

[dot]

I don't find that I am the most relatable, but I am also a Type 4, so nvm.

I let myself be re-typed by other enneagram people here (plus VIing me). They believe I am a healthy 4w3 (that is very the ambitious part is coming from with the w3 they said) thus I relate a lot to e1 in a way. But the more I read about e4 and the more I looked back and many things I used to do in the past were indeed a similar pattern as described.. especially when I used to be unhealthier. I might have e1 in my tritype though, gotta look through it again.. but I definitely don't have the same tritype as you, Aylen and Starfall so far.

No matter the e4 thing though I definitely can relate to anyone and everyone if I want to and so does my so/sx mother. I also always had at least 1-2 friends from whom I could base my social interactions on. I have a somewhat bouncy ball vibe to me as soon as I am amped up through social interaction.. very fiery and bouncy in my interactions in general, somewhat hyper almost. Social interaction and appreciation can feel like a blood-rush for me. I can also be very flirty with people I feel comfortable with.

I also somewhat relate to the "best friend" role of the so/sx.

[Tonatiuh]

That's like half of all members.

P.S: I am being facetious if you can't tell... But seriously, a lot of people on here are Sp/Sx and 4 fix.

The OP was not very specific either.

P.S: I couldn't tell.

[dot]

Great

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being". Take Harrison Ford as an example. I do see how they don't do it on purpose, but the ice is coming through you know, they come across like it. SO/SP's filter is their secondary instinct which stops what the social instinct first adapts to. Like the Hillary Clinton method. Yeah yeah smile at everything all social issues are important I advocate for you all I'm the beacon of society... but ba-boom, here is where I draw the line for myself. The exclusion doesn't occur until a certain point. SO/SX yes, that's precise.

With me it depends with the exclusion thing.. I am not as well meaning as my mother who really seems to be including with everyone.. but my IEI so/sp friend seems to be fairer with people in general, more including.. everything seems very balanced.. problem is.. you don't feel any special feelings/positions which can be very hurtful when you thought you were closer but you are just treated like everyone else.. maybe even less well.

I've excluded people I really didn't like or who did something shitty to me. But Beta might be less chill about this stuff than Alpha.

[Stellafera]

This isn't really going to help our case in terms of being the "haughty/icy" instinctual subtype, but... Other So/Sp's, honestly. It's nice to have people who just get me. The similar priorities make communication smoother and happier.

I also like Sp/So for their similar lack of interest in Sx, and I like So/Sx for their energy and similar interest in So, though sometimes I still feel like the Sx secondary is "too much". Sx combo'ed with Sp is interesting to me, they're a bit less exhausting than Sx + So but I'm not sure we really approve of each other deep down, especially from their end.

[flames]

This isn't really going to help our case in terms of being the "haughty/icy" instinctual subtype, but... Other So/Sp's, honestly. It's nice to have people who just get me. The similar priorities make communication smoother and happier.

I also like Sp/So for their similar lack of interest in Sx, and I like So/Sx for their energy and similar interest in So, though sometimes I still feel like the Sx secondary is "too much". Sx combo'ed with Sp is interesting to me, they're a bit less exhausting than Sx + So but I'm not sure we really approve of each other deep down, especially from their end.

I think sx lasts often end up with each other, it's not weird at all. Sx with sx isn't uncommon either but I notice it a lot more with sx last. Maybe they are just more likely to go with someone who understands them and supports their needs rather than trying for someone who is totally different despite any odds which sx will do.

[Grendel]

the dysfunctional broken edgelord stackings who destroy stuff


(fyi this post is unironic)

[Pallas]

the dysfunctional broken edgelord stackings who destroy stuff


(fyi this post is unironic)

There isn't one of those, just dharma, sex, and farmers. Enneagram is unfortunately not that cool.

So/Sx = Bollywood
Sx/So = Marilyn Monroe
Sp/So = Amelia Bedelia
So/Sp = MLK
Sx/Sp = Fleetwood Mac
Sp/Sx = Tentacle porn

yawns

[Pallas]

I've clashed with sp-lasts because of my tendency towards stubborn circumspection...

I think everyone does that and some people just care more about other things, even if they're stupid things to care about.

[Pallas]

Sp-last is probably just something like Death Before Dishonor in real life. I mean there's no one so unconcerned about their life they're just going to run straight through traffic. It's just favoring the social stuff before physical (and private mental/emotional? this is not clear in enneagram theory, which is why I can't take it seriously) existence.

[lynn]

Sp-last is probably just something like Death Before Dishonor in real life. I mean there's no one so unconcerned about their life they're just going to run straight through traffic. It's just favoring the social stuff before physical (and private mental/emotional? this is not clear in enneagram theory, which is why I can't take it seriously) existence.

sp-last is not seeking death. it's a survival strategy as well. (except in unhealthy, self-destructive versions, but these probably apply to every stacking.) and might be even geared towards survival of a bigger social unit (including the self) rather than just the immediate self. (e.g. in so/sx, sx/so is more radical in its expression, i think)

[Moonbeaux Rainfox]

sp/so

Ya well. I think everyone just has their own images and experiences tied towards certain concepts.

You know people, where I grew up, who also took care.

Story time. Around January or February, you know when the snow is this muddy gray, I forgot my keys and stood outside all like OMG, FUCK NO, P-L-E-A-H-S-E. So I was lounging around, waiting for my parents to come home. From the other side I see someone waving from the other building and from the distance it looked like a man. I’m all like ‘Nah… I’ve seen it on the news’ and run to the backside of the house. So some time later an old lady approaches me and asks me ‘Have you forgotten your keys? I live on the other side and you don’t have to stand outside the cold, you can come in.’ And I’m like 'I want to call someone'. She was ok with it and we went to her flat, were I could sit on the couch and watch TV with her husband. It was very warm and comfy and he was like ‘we always watch from here, when your dad parks the van and everything and we are always very impressed’. And I was telling him how I thought his wife looked like a man from afar and that was why I was hiding and he started to laugh really loud and said to his wife ‘Well here you can hear, how you look like’ and she waved it off. We were watching this cooking show and the guy said sth. about TVs with smell in the future and her husband was repeating it to her and chuckled about it. She was knitting these kinda loafers and when I was going home she gave them to me.

In retrospect could have also been the end of me.

[chrys]

Sx secondary. No not sp sx or so sx... just sx secondary

[Xaiviay]

I'm usually most attracted to guys with my own stack. I haven't dated anyone with the same stack, but the closest one was sp/sx and he was the one I got along with best. I'm open to future relationships showing me differently, but so far I'm of the opinion that sharing the same stack is what's best for me. Looks like a lot of people want different stacks from their own on here That's interesting! Different from a lot of the enneagram advice

[VenusRose]

Sx/Sp, Sx/So, Sp/Sx.

[flames]

sp/sx but not the “I’m special and better than you” asshole variety

[Metamorph]

Mine. Too much self-loathing on this thread.

[JonA]

Kautherine Fauvre, in one of her youtube interviews (I'm looking for it), said that in her research examining hundreds of couples over the years, the ones that build the most stable and long-term relationships are those that have the same two primary instincts, preferably in the same order. SP is not a necessary element for marriage and family -- just consider one of the most beloved couples in Hollywood: Chris Hemsworth (8 SX/SO) and Elsa Pataky (2 SX/SO). Tritype can also matter. The more types a couple had in common, the more stability due to mutual understanding.

What's most important, however, is that each person in the couple is healthy. But even then, it's more work to bridge those gaps of understanding.

[Beautiful sky]

I relate to this

“ sp/sx
These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other’s condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant’s surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

Familiar Roles: the mate, the mystic, the quiet supporter.”

[Poptart]

I haven’t read that much about variant stackings, but I kind of just assume that I’m Sp/So.

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

[MissDucki]

I haven’t read that much about variant stackings, but I kind of just assume that I’m Sp/So.

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

Well it depends what you find sexy. Sx‘s seem to be able to seduce a lot easier and tap into that raw energy of passions and people that is hidden below so I can see why people find it sexy. Depends if you feel comfortable and like getting to the dirty dirty core and attaching fully. Some people don’t find that sexy, rather revolting. I thought I was sp/so (will take in considerations for this if people believe so) and I was a bit upset cause I though Sx was sexier. There was like a deep and raw earthiness that I like. Plus they kinda wanna make you in their own little world so to speak. I mean, when I think of a Sx Dom guy who wants you, I feel like he’s gonna ravish you the may you deserve to be and pampered lol. But SX can be too much at times too and it can very un-sexy quick and kinda be possessive. They just zero in on you and it can be a bit rocky too. I have a SX/So Dom friend and she „needs“ love of some type in her life. At the least a crush but she’s loyal.
Though she needs a lot of close contact.

Depends what you find sexy but I think sx or the idea of them can be objectively sexy.

[rose]

I haven’t read that much about variant stackings, but I kind of just assume that I’m Sp/So.

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

I think the intensity of Sx can pass for interest, and seeing someone take interest in you can be interesting.
Unless the Sx person reminds you of your mom or a serial killer, then it's downright creepy.
I think Sx is romanticized and sexualized a lot.

[The Joker The Fool]

lmao that reminds me of when I was in an Alpha SF group... mostly sp/so types. One of them always asked of me to spare them when I shot up the school, because they thought I was going to be a serial killer.

Being silent and prone to staring down people that you are severely interested in really doesn't help with taming that energy.

I really just like to know what people are like and why they are so interesting to me. It can become quickly as an obsession as anything else, namely Socionics.

[Averroes]

The main advantage that Sx-first/second types seem to have is in developing deep, rich platonic and romantic relationships. Any type can be sexy, although I suppose being sx first/second gives many average looking people a boost if they have a wild thug vibe or have a very fun, flirty personality

[aixelsyd]

sx/sp and sp/sx are my favorite stackings.

[lkdhf qkb]

I have no favourite stackings, since they all have a blindspot and are disfunctional in a way. People with healthier instinct stackings are easy to get along with. I can relate best to fellow so-firsts and the least to so-lasts, but al lot of so/sx are too scattered & self-destructive and so/sp can be haters and too socially excluding of difference when unhealthy. Unhealthy so/sp are like what flames describes here, I agree 100%:

They are focused on the social world and will basically do what they need to to maintain their position and disregard close relationships or intense feelings. They are social but they struggle to actually get close to people. And many of them just have cold and haughty attitudes for some reason, even the ones on here (won't name unless you need the examples). So/sp is kind of excluding without even trying because it's just the nature of their instincts, compared to so/sx which has trouble excluding people and will often let people go too far with things.

EDIT: I'd add that unhealthy sp firsts often seem to fuss too much about their health and bills and unhealthy sx firsts want to become attractive at all costs so they start looking like some kind of barbie/ken doll, fussing about being dumped by their SO and become incredibly 'blurtatious' in social settings. Ugh. When I get unhealthy, I become very defensive of my social status and want to turn everyone into my friends.

[lkdhf qkb]

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

No, they just believe they have to be close to their intimates or passions or they'll die. Quite literally, sx, sp and so are survival instincts. You know of those love stories where one partner commits suicide after being dumped? Sx firsts. If anything, sx first are more 'lively', 'stimulatable' and open to other's experiences, but that can easily turn into codependence. "I'll do anything for you to stay with me! I'll do some aesthetic surgery, I'll watch soccer with you even if I hate it, anything!". People with other stackings will believe that their safety lies elsewhere(bodily health, wealth or social support, friendships)., so they'll be more relaxed about sexuality, intimacy and else.